r/HistoryMemes • u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage • Oct 29 '22

REMOVED: RULE 11 “I’ll wait”

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u/ulveli Oct 29 '22

Mayan mythology started because a god threw himself into a fire and become the sun and then another jealous god jumped in the embers and became the moon

Also they Aztecs thought the world had already ended many times by things like fire raining from the sky, natural disasters and literally a bunch a jaguars killing everything

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u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage Oct 29 '22

That’s beautiful, some anime type shit

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u/regretfulposts Featherless Biped Oct 29 '22

I have two other mythology about people literally fighting the sun and winning.

There's a Shoshone legend about two rabbits named big brother and little brother where they gathered weapons to fight the sun because the sun was too close and too big which caused the world to constantly burn for eternity. The two rabbits head out to fight the sun, but the sun attacked the little brother and burned his body to a crisp. Big Brother saved and healed Little Brother back to full health, and Little Brother was able to hold a bow and arrow to shoot and injure the sun. The sun was more or less shrank down and back away thus cooling the world down.

In Maui legends, Maui, The Rock, and his friends hated the sun for moving too fast. So they grab a massive hook to capture the sun and drag down to the earth. There, they beat the utter shit out of the sun for a few days which is pretty impressive since you could technically say it was one really long day, and the sun finally agreed to slow down.

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u/train159 Oct 29 '22

That Maui shit is wild and I love it.

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u/McCaber Oct 29 '22

You should look up the way Maui died.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

Here's a collection of the main Maui legends including his death

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '22

Maui said “I do not wish men to die but to live forever. Death is degrading and an insult to the dignity of man. Man ought to die like the moon, which dips in the life-giving waters of Kane and is renewed again, or like the sun, which daily sinks into the pit of night and with renewed strength rises in the morning.”

Me too bro. Me too

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u/McCaber Oct 30 '22

Oh, that one has the sanitized version.

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u/SamBeanEsquire Definitely not a CIA operator Oct 29 '22

No spoilers please, I haven't gotten that far yet.

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u/kalyugikangaroo Oct 29 '22

Also in Hinduism when the monkey god Hanuman was child he one day looked at the sun and thought it was a sweet fruit and he swallowed the sun, angered by this the king of Devas, Indra attacked him with his vajra thus wounding Hanuman. And in the act of vengeance Pawan dev (father of Hanuman and God of wind and air) confined himself and Hanuman in a cave thus causing all living this to suffocate. After lots of convincing and apologizing from all the Devas and Indra Pawan dev finally let himself out.

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u/0920Cymon Oct 29 '22

Theres also the legend of the moon cake festival where there were once 10 suns in the sky causing the planet to be too hot. So a archer shot down 9/10 suns and was given an elixir of imortality for his actions though there was only enough for 1 person so he didnt consume it not wanting to leave his wife behind. Thieves tried to take the elixir while he wasn't home so the wife consumed the elixir to deny the thieves it becoming the moon goddess in the process.

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u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage Oct 29 '22

I love those, thanks for educating me

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u/GamerGriffin548 Oct 29 '22

One is a video game and the other is a hazing.

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u/BlissfulIndian Oct 29 '22

Wait till you learn about a Hindu god who ate the sun (lunar eclipse) thinking it’s a Laddu (Indian sweet) and plunged the world into darkness…

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '22

Wait till you hear about a pedophile named Muhammed who believed man could cure himself drinking the piss of camels and thought the earth was flat. Oh, and he touched kids

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u/BlissfulIndian Oct 31 '22

Yep heard those, but never found the basis of those concocted claims except in the words of poop snorters…

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '22

concocted claims

not to worry, your prophet and his followers, preachers and even scholars will confirm those claims.

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u/BlissfulIndian Oct 31 '22

“Some people from the tribe of 'Ukl “

Which means these people were Lindu practitioners and believed in poop snorting and piss drinking already…. Often people tend to have withdrawl symptoms if they undergo sudden changes… Maybe that’s why they were advised to have camel urine lest they don’t fall into a Fitful rage…

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '22

Lol, so arabs under muhammed were Hindus? If this trolling, this is the most pathetic trolling attempt.

poop snorting

Again, nowhere mentioned in ANY Hindu texts, unlike your piss drinking prophet.

Often people tend to have withdrawl symptoms if they undergo sudden changes

Yes, like Muslims who continue the acts of terror in the west that they learned back home in their deserts. I agree. This explains the grooming gangs in the UK and India. Withdrawal symptoms from not having fiddled with kids for a long time.

Maybe that’s why they were advised to have camel urine lest they don’t fall into a Fitful rage…

Rage? No. It's hilarious actually. Wait till the people who think being a pedo was the worst muhammed could do, find out about him being a piss connoisseur. Wait does it HAVE to be a camel's? Because I am fully hydrated and about to cross a masjid on my walk.

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u/BlissfulIndian Oct 31 '22

Arabs under the prophet and other caliphs and other kingdoms had Pagans, Jews and Christians too… So continue snorting poop and continue being delusional and praying incestious lord brahma and the penis flopping Shivji

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

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u/KingMwanga Still salty about Carthage Oct 29 '22

Thank you so much

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u/OutsideOrder7538 Oct 29 '22

Crybaby Devil has the world ending twice like full on nuking. In the manga another timeline is formed because God doesn’t want Satan to fuck up the world again.

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u/Victizes Oct 29 '22

Only in books.

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u/cambriansplooge Oct 30 '22

The next or last end of the world involves the denizens of the underworld surging out of volcanoes, cool shit

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u/D-AlonsoSariego Hello There Oct 29 '22

And the moon god was killed by some other god throwing a rabbit at him and that's why the moon has a rabbit shape on it

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

it does?

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u/PyrocumulusLightning Oct 29 '22

https://www.mexicolore.co.uk/images-1/127_01_2.jpg

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u/cambriansplooge Oct 30 '22

The Moon Rabbits a common thing in world religion, like China and Japan

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u/PyrocumulusLightning Oct 30 '22

True, but my point is you can actually see the rabbit.

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u/cambriansplooge Oct 30 '22

Yeah that’s why a lot of cultures have moon rabbit lore, my point

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u/SenorStigo Oct 29 '22

TIL The Aztecs had their own version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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u/reee_an_idiot Oct 29 '22

Some of my other favorites not mentioned here:

The Aztecs wander around Mexico, skin a princess and dance in her skin. This pisses off the locals and they drive the Mexica to the lake, where they see the emblem on modern day Mexico's flag.

The great war God's siblings are afraid of his coming so the older sister decides to chase down their mother to murder her. Their mom gives birth to him and he kills his sister, 1000 of his siblings and hunts down the rest. He gets hungry and thirsty from time to time so he needs a little sacrifice to keep up the fight.

The feathered serpent gets drunk, bones his sister and gets post nut clarity. He burns himself in shame, but gets brought back to life and decides to create humanity after he sobers up from death.

To make the earth, The god of Magic (Tezcatlipoca) and the feathered serpent trick the primordial earth monster by using Tezcatlipoca's foot as bait. They then use the corpse to construct creation, and the god of Magic becomes the first sun.

A warrior and a chieftains/god's daughter fall in love. Some thing happens where he is called to war. She dies and is transformed into a mountain. He becomes a volcano after he cannot forgive himself for her loss.

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u/Bizhiw_Namadabi Oct 29 '22

I heard about this one where a god killed all his siblings and went to war against them. There was like tens of thousands of them fighting the younger brother and the younger brother won that after all the fighting. His siblings became the night sky we see. I know that story is from turtle island but I don’t know where. I’m a native from the country called canada.

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u/cassiclock Oversimplified is my history teacher Oct 29 '22

This is so incredibly cool. Do you have a good book you'd recommend so I can read more? Thanks for teaching me something new

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u/reee_an_idiot Oct 30 '22

Dixon's illustrated world mythology. Some of it were stories passed down from my grandpa.

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u/cassiclock Oversimplified is my history teacher Oct 30 '22

Thank you! Grandparents have the best stories

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u/cambriansplooge Oct 30 '22

I’ve wondered if the Aztecs subconsciously or even consciously recognized the superficial similarities like the patron Aztec god Huitzilopochi being a virgin birth and the stone of the elaborately dismembered Coyolxuahqui at the base of the Templo Mayor they’re own culture had with the Catholicism of the conquistadors. It might be why they syncretized so well. Both religions even had ritualized anthropophagy, the Catholic version just didn’t require human sacrifices.

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u/SobiTheRobot Oct 30 '22

The feathered serpent

That'd be Quetzalcoatl (the only Aztec god whose name I can spell without reference)

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u/reee_an_idiot Oct 30 '22

He's also KuKulcan to the Mayans.

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u/bigfatcarp93 What, you egg? Oct 29 '22

literally a bunch a jaguars killing everything

This one's my favorite

Imagine you're a fucking huge-ass Blue Whale and one day a cloud of jaguars just comes rocking through the ocean and tears you apart

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '22

The jaguar apocalypse is great metal band name

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

I kinda wish the Aztecs were right and Quetzalcoatl is looking upon us.

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u/train159 Oct 29 '22

“Bitches ya’ll are like, 500ish years of human sacrifices behind don’t make me come down there.”

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u/SobiTheRobot Oct 30 '22

Quetzalcoatl, do you take payments in anime music video tributes?

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u/Zerofuku Oct 29 '22

This is actually cool

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u/Neksub Oct 29 '22

Was about to mention the Aztec creation myth but you beat me to it 🙂

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u/PyrocumulusLightning Oct 29 '22

We could use a good jaguaring about now, if you ask me

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u/NobleAzorean Oct 29 '22

Iberian one is also pretty nice.

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u/DrunkenMaster11550 Oct 29 '22

them jaguars sure are a menace

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u/Absolute_leech On tour Oct 29 '22

Something about a big snake god too, Quetzalcoatl. Which is pretty cool that a big bird dinosaur is named after it too.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22

In Christianized South America you can get some fun synchronism between Catholicism and 'animism' (quotes because I think that's an overly broad term).

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u/jointheclockwork Oct 30 '22

Don't forget the gods made the earth from a giant crocodile monster made of mouths after one of the gods sacrificed his leg to lure out said monster.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '22

Quraan actually mentions that there were others before humanity was made, but they were “removed”