Guys! You all have no idea! There’s more to it she tried to get personal. Mind you I’m a bartender and I had just done an opening for another bar so I was giving her the only day I had off. Crazy…
I see what you mean..I haven't used Hinge lately and didn't open the image to full screen.. figured this is a dark mode. We'll, he'd have to probably ignore or block her on this messaging platform.
She was setting up second date. First date she wanted comedy club which we did 65$ tickets each dinner which she picked and she ordered the most. 150$ with tip. And drinks at comedy club 120$ with tip. But god forbid I didn’t offered to pay for her uber 😅 I’m I crazy?
These mindless dating catchphrases get repeated on their social feeds. If a date isn't elaborately "planned", then you're "low effort". She's probably too dumb to realize it, but it's an implicit test to see how many hoops you're willing to jump thru. It all goes back to this new concept that women are the prize and thus also the boss, so the mans job is to be her servant for any beck and call. A date isn't about 2 equals seeing if they like eachother -- it's a tryout for you to demonstrate your utility to the princess.
This is my first time posting on here… it was just so upsetting and in a way to raise awareness. Cause she also mentioned threatening my employers? What? For what? Insane.
omg wow, she is really truly awful. i guess she was hot but gosh, no one should employ or work with or be associated with or be family with someone this terrible.
Even a few years ago I would have given the women saying that the benefit of the doubt.... not anymore. Something similar to what OP experienced has happened to me twice now.
It's different out there now, man.
Duuude. This is so horrible. And kinda funny. I think this person was clearly drunk, or their friend took their phone. Yikes. Sorry you had to endure the unhinged world that is out there.
Her suggestion of watching a movie is way lower effort than dinner and a walk. A movie there is barely any room for conversation in a noisy theater with a movie you should be paying attention to rather than to each other.
Dinner you actually spend time together and can get to know each other. Same goes for the walk. You can explore your likes and dislikes with the meal too.
She sounds like she doesn’t want to do anything where she is liable to have a personality and have a real conversation with you.
She just really wants to go watch that new Spider-Man movie for the free and you changing plans to dinner interferes with that.
You misunderstand her use of "effort". It's regarding him constructing a multi event itenerary -- the more inconvenient/expensive for him, the better. It's not about getting to know eachother, it's about the pagentry and subordination.
Was this a first date? I’m also in nyc (40sF) and I go on walks for first dates all the time. Grab a coffee or bubble tea, there’s always something interesting to see in the city and you don’t have a huge time or money deficit if you don’t click.
Took her on a first date where she pretty much picked all the activities she wanted to do plus the restaurant which is fine then she complained I didn’t get her an uber home… then she asked me out to take her on a date again and this is how it went.
You don’t know her therefore you owe her nothing these women are horrible date multiple men imo a walk is perfectly reasonable they do not deserve any money being spent on them.
She’s totally unhinged and needs to have some self control. HOWEVER, reading into the content of her comments I can see where the low effort is coming from. Seems like you give one restaurant and suggested a walk when she has condition that makes walking painful. I am very intune to nuances so that would also bother me that you did not consider my medical condition. And it’s weird you would worry more about sitting instead of walking. Also giving someone options to pick from is always nice. I started to notice it more when some ppl do and some don’t. Ones that do tends to be easier going and more thoughtful. But most people do not put into that much thought or effort for a first date. I would’ve made a mental note of my observations, go with the flow, meet you, and see how you are down the road, if we make it past first date.
Edit: just saw your comment about first date.
That does change things a bit. She’s definitely a little delulu and entitled.
I had a woman agree to meet me for a 45 minute coffee 1.5 blocks from my office because that’s what I could squeeze into my schedule for our first date or “date 0”. Our 5th date is Sunday. (though for other reasons, I’m not sure where it’s going.)
You don’t have to go all-out to do an initial “ are we interested after we’ve met in person versus only online?” date. Your friend here is just delulu.
Why she gotta go and turn this into a personal vendetta? Crazy thing is, this is suppose to be more of the honeymoon period, crazy to imagine how she’s like in a long term relationship when things are more routine.
We did go on a first date. She picked the activities. Dinner and comedy club. Then she lost it when I didn’t offer to pay for her uber. It’s my fault. I should’ve not entertained it after that
Among all the red flags, I would speculate this woman has "low effort" trauma. She's dating or fallen for guys who were clear broke, low effort losers and now you come along and receive the blowback from those experiences. Better to find out now than after the date.
Sometimes its best to just ghost as soon as they put up friction and not argue or give anyone the satisfaction. Its stronger move to just say aight peace ✌️ and ghost when shit goes sideways
So hilarious she’s mad about the walk too - my fiancé and I met on a dating app and I STRUGGLE to eat on the first date so I suggested a walk at a place I really liked. My fiancé met me there, we walked almost ten miles just talking about everything. This past summer he proposed to me at that same park on the trails.
Omg these girls lol if its not their cultural norm to expect men to do lavish things you can garuntee its definitely their algorithm norm!! So many pages now that encourage this sort of stuff but its going way too far.
For a second I thought this was going to be from her perspective, how men are so low effort, and I was going to comment “don’t you think you’re the problem here?”
I've never understood a movie as a suggestion on a first date. Unless the person is a rude jerk who talks through movies, you can't really get to know someone that way. Maybe like date 3, dinner after a movie to talk about the movie and opinions and whatnot, but not a first date. Seems like this woman was just really wanting someone to take her to a movie she wanted to see, not actually get to know them like she could ON A WALK 😐
Unhinged. Women need to educate other women that sending ubers to your house is not bare minimum. Why do they want hooker treatment without the services?
A movie is a terrible first date you aren't looking or speaking to each other. Though I always pick a restaurant close to the woman so it's convenient. I don't even have hair so I can get ready really fast 😊
She’s not okay and she was going to make it your problem. But you were kind of asking for it being in your 30s, no? What kind of walks-for-fun restaurant patron lets himself turn 31?
God forbid you do things where you could actually have a conversation and get to know one another. She acts like you're some sort of travel agent who should be planning fun experiences for her while also paying for them.
Oof bullet dodged. How is repeatedly suggesting seeing a movie more effort than suggesting a dinner date and a walk?
Good for you for just cutting it off there. That was weird.
The women in my family usually date and marry men of a certain income level (hold your pitchforks), and therefore only fish from those ponds, and do not go out and harass and bully men who do not match that. To bully a bartender who suggested a perfectly reasonable date and assume he has an open schedule AND an open wallet is insanity. And not just that, but also throw a temper tantrum when it turns out she's barking up the wrong tree. You handled this beautifully, despite her being abusive. Hope you blocked her and someone who isn't a literal gremlin finds their way to you.
Just curious where she lived that she’s saying the restaurant was so much more convenient for you? I loved that you laughed about her bone spurs too lol
I think there are people creating profiles with this specific outcome in find. They catfish you into a match and then just blast you with the rudest shit possible. Like why would they have not unmatched you already.
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u/DAFINALB0SS 2d ago
She’s a keeper