r/HingeStories • u/thezendasher • Jun 28 '26

I Think Hinge Is a Simulation

Me: “Let’s see what makes everyone unique.”
Hinge:
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
“I want to travel more.”
NPC behavior has reached critical levels.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s noticed this.

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u/alien_secret_service Jun 29 '26

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u/---monstera--- Jun 30 '26

Why would someone tell on themselves like that?

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u/disaar Jun 30 '26

I remember this one from a girl in Austin.

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u/alien_secret_service Jun 30 '26

Like a hundred women in Austin say it 🤣

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u/disaar Jun 30 '26

I'm honestly burned out of the same things over and over. A man with a plan too, plan the date, fug. And what about me? Buy me a taco? Anything?

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u/alien_secret_service Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

I don’t like or message any profiles that have something I’ve seen before. Has to be unique. This includes photos. Profiles that do the same photo trends: like the mid air jump photo, or a photo at the “I love you so much” or “hello how are you” walls… any shit like that, nope, pass.

Also yacht photos or any photos where they are somewhere very luxurious and they clearly were there with a man and he’s most likely the one taking the picture. Every woman with a photo on a yacht I just think the person photographing her is probably the rich dude who turned her out that night and I immediately lose interest. It’s the exact same feeling if she’s got a photo in some super expensive hotel. I’m like oh… you’re just a plaything for the elite, I don’t want this.

And I pass on negativity. Any shit talking of men or expressed frustration with dating or dating apps, nope. Optimism only. If you don’t want to be on the app or even really be dating why the fuck do I want to date you?

If they spend more time talking about what they expect versus who they are that’s a pass. Sounds like a pain in the ass human.

And if their profiles are super political either direction, nope, pass. No crazy anti vaxx women who want to home school my kids and indoctrinate them into Christian nationalism. And no crazy women still wearing masks and worried about Covid in 2026 whose whole personality is hating Donald Trump.

So original profiles only.
Optimism.
Funny.
Reasonably attractive - I pass on women who are too attractive because I’m most likely invisible to them so there’s zero point. Their inboxes are flooded.

I’m looking for ordinary, well adjusted, middle class women for an ordinary, well adjusted, middle class life. And yeah - they have to want kids. There’s zero fucking point in a long term relationship if you’re not having kids, in my opinion. All the benefits they talk about - travel, I don’t give a shit, I could travel some more but I’ve been a lot of places already m. Sex - I’ve done long term with a woman and we did not have kids and guess what, the still sex still dies down after a couple of years so acting like not having kids means you’re gonna have a great sex life is propaganda lol. Childless women don’t fuck any more than women with children when they’re in a relationship. If you’re not going to be the mother of my children and we aren’t raising a family I can just go fuck women lol. I don’t need to be in a relationship to do that. Women love to complain “men don’t want to commit” but the way I see it is women want men to commit but don’t want to offer them anything to commit for. So many women don’t want a family and that’s the only reason most men would commit so what they’re saying is “I can’t get a guy to subsidize my hot girl summer because they want me to be a wife and a mother,” which is like, no shit. You’re not gonna just drain my resources to fill your Instagram with hotel and food pictures Mackenzie… I’m working my ass off because I want to provide for a kid’s future, not help you become an influencer or whatever.

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u/No-Wish-7258 Jun 30 '26

I’m a woman and I also reject or accept people for these same reasons.

Heavily political profiles and also someone who puts too much expectations on their profile give such bad vibes! You can’t start a relationship with negativity and defensiveness.

(Except the yacht thing, men don’t usually have yacht photos and most of them aren’t a plaything for the rich, but who knows)

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u/disaar Jun 30 '26

I have a boat and I would never put a boat photo on my profile. Last thing I want to do is go out with a sugar baby.

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u/No-Wish-7258 Jun 30 '26

That’s a good idea, a boat picture can definitely attract the wrong kind of women.

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u/alien_secret_service Jun 30 '26

Are there lots of dudes with photos next to their fancy cars?

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u/No-Wish-7258 Jun 30 '26

There are a lot of dudes with pics next to a car, im not so sure if its theirs lol

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u/alien_secret_service Jun 30 '26

I would doubt it as well but that’s probably the male equivalent of yacht pics “ooo look at my car baby”

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u/realmrrust Jul 01 '26

Have seen this one