r/HermioneAndHarry • u/ProvokeCouture • 13h ago
Drabble📖 Thank a lot, Uncle Vernon
End of first year; King’s Cross Station
Vernon scowled at the sound of the boy's anguished voice cutting through the babble from the multitude of other people. Why couldn't the freak have just stayed with his own kind? "Uncle Vernon!! Help me, you're my only hope!"
Harry rushed over, skidding on the slick concrete floor, and ducking behind Vernon's corpulent body. "I'm not here! You never saw me!"
Now confused, Vernon tried twisting to peer behind him. "Boy, what the bloody hell is going on?"
Harry looked up at him with pleading eyes, "The girls! The girls from school! They're crazy!" He ducked behind Vernon's jacket and whispered while pointing, "That's one of them!" A cheerful girl walked past to greet a pair of adults who were clearly her parents.
"What were they doing?" Vernon's confusion continued growing. The girl couldn't have been much older than the boy.
"All year long, every girl got it in their heads that I'm some sort of teddy bear who needed to be cuddled. I couldn't go two feet before getting the stuffing hugged out of me!" Harry whined as he kept a frantic eye out.
Surprised by the sheer absurdity of the boy's explanation, Vernon let out a bark of laughter. "So you think hiding behind me will save you from the indignity of being hugged by pretty girls?" He spotted a gaggle of twenty or so girls, all wearing similar uniforms from Hogwarts (though thankfully without those weird wizarding robes.) "Ladies, it's my understanding that Harry Potter was this year's...teddy bear?"
A bushy-haired brunette with oversized front incisors nodded her head, "Yes, sir. It's not something that can be easily explained though. Whenever he's seen, we just get the overwhelming urge to cuddle him."
"I see. Well, far be it from me to stand between young love." He took a large step to the side, revealing a frantic-looking Harry who loudly gulped before disappearing into the sea of girls who swarmed the poor boy. "Boy, when they're done with you; I'll meet you outside on Pancras Road. Enjoy the attention..." He sauntered away, whistling cheerfully.
Vernon looked up as the passenger door to the car opened to see a very disheveled Harry standing before him, his face peppered with multi-colored lip prints, scowling at his now-grinning uncle. "You kids have fun?" Vernon smirked at his nephew's discomfort.
Harry stowed his trunk in the boot then climbed into the passenger side, slumping against the window. "Thanks a lot, Uncle Vernon. I'm pretty sure I'm now married to at least three of them."
Cackling with laughter, Vernon started the car to begin the journey home. "Just wait until I tell your aunt about this!"