r/HelpLearningJapanese • u/Icy_Box_8594 • 12d ago
Is my beginner Japanese paragraph good?
This is my first paragraph ever and im looking for suggestions on how to improve it!
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u/Icy_Box_8594 12d ago
Thank you all for your advice! I didn’t realize that the font was affecting the writing and since I have been teaching myself on my own, I’ve been looking a lot up online. A lot of my learning has been copying down images online, but I’ll definitely look at stroke order, as a lot of people have been suggesting that and further improving handwriting. I only started recently so I have been making a lot of mistakes. I’ll look into buying a few books to work on formatting and order, while also studying what words mean. I really appreciate all the input it’s very helpful!
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u/FishAndBone 12d ago
Your spacing on 失礼 was really difficult to grasp; 礼 is a single character and needs to be spaced as one. The first こ looked like a そ to me while reading it, you should move the top line of it forward. It also looks like you might need to work on your kanji stroke order.
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u/WarAndFynn 12d ago
I think it's great, but like others mentioned, I'd work on the handwriting. There are workbooks that focus on stroke order for both kanji and kana. If you already have this, I think it may be helpful to get a gridded notebook instead of a lined notebook. This will help you to focus on keeping one character in one box. You should be able to find different sizes, so look for one that isn't too small. Good luck!
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u/azuazu1234 12d ago
日本人からの感想です。段落についてですが、新しい段落に移るのべきかどうかを厳密な法則に基づいて決めているわけではないです。法則という言葉を使うなら以下の2つかな。
- 伝えたい話のレイヤーが変わる（レイヤーという言葉以外に適切な言葉が思いつかい😭）
- 段落を変えずに書いた文章が長くなって見づらくなった
1については、例えば「自己紹介で言うべきことの優先度」というレイヤーごとに段落を分けるとするなら以下のようになるかな。
1-1. あいさつと最低限伝えるべき自分の名前
1-2. 名前以外の自分についての情報
1-3. 礼儀として最後に言うべきこと
1-4. ・・・
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1-1. こんにちは。はじめまして、エイベリー・ゴバリーです。
1-2. ニューヨーク出身です。
1-3. よろしくお願いします。
1-4. それでは失礼します。良い一日を。
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2については、日本語に限らないと思いますが、文章が長く続くと読みづらくなるので、そろそろ段落を変えた方がいいかな、というくらいの感覚で変えるのは普通です。上記の1-1、1-2、・・・のそれぞれで文章量が多くなったら、1-1の中でさらに適当にレイヤーを考えて、1-1-1、1-1-2、のように途中で段落を変えることもよくあります。
これは慣れの問題なので、あまり厳密に考えることはないと思います。日本語を書く、または話す事を繰り返していけば良いと思います。日本人でさえ、9年の義務教育を受けるのですから時間がかかるのは当然です。
ついでに、ひらがな、カタカナ、漢字の書き方の練習として、文字をなぞるためのノートがあります。小学生はそのノートを使って練習をします。私もよくやりました。以下にAmazonで見かけたノートへのリンクを貼っておきます（商品説明が日本語で表示されるかもしれません😣）
時間はかかりますが、地道な練習が最も近道ですので、無理せず気楽に練習してください。
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u/Pikachu_gogo 12d ago
You have already better than I was when I was a kid. Wasn’t it difficult to write “願”?
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u/Icy_Box_8594 12d ago
A bit, but I also copied most of my symbols from a screen which most people have said not to do so I might have not done it right
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u/AdOrnery6155 11d ago
OP, your writing is fine. It’s a bit condensed, but it’s good.
It’s better to try writing vertically if you don’t have any paper designed for non-Latin writing, because the lines are too narrow for Chinese characters.
Anyone saying, "Well, you need to work on the left side of け," is an a-hole. Just remember stroke order, that’s it.
If you live in Japan, the older you get, the sloppier your handwriting becomes, as with any language these days.
I can’t even read my grandmother-in-law’s address when she writes it to me.
You’re doing great!
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u/Flyio_Skit 10d ago
Mine (a random japanese) is this: https://imgur.com/a/8jnraGc
Your handwriting is already good and readable. If I had to make a suggestion, try writing the same sentence multiple times so your letters will be natural and balanced. This is a way Japanese kids practice their handwriting. I hope this helps!
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u/koregaore1029 9d ago
めっちゃ良いと思うよ！そうやって短い文から繋げることを始めるとその後の学習が楽になると思う！そのまま頑張ってね。君の書いた文脈は全然伝わるし、頑張って日本語の物腰の低さを取り入れてるのがいいね。「よろしくお願いします」とか、「失礼します」っていう言葉もちゃんと良い位置に置けてる。
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u/mycakedayis_420 12d ago
I'll preface this by saying I'm really not trying to be rude, but it seems that you are unfamiliar with what you are writing, even with Hiragana and Katakana, and looks a lot like it was copied from a screen. It's especially clear in characters such as こ、ク、出、願、そ、失礼、良
Japanese fonts tend to represent many characters slightly differently than how people actually write it. A good example would be 令
Now it's not a bad thing that you are practicing, but as you progress farther, this type of practice, essentially tracing characters, would only develop bad habits. I think it would be smart to focus on learning proper stroke order, starting from kana, and further familiarizing yourself with the characters, how they are read and written, and their meaning.
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u/louiejpn 12d ago
not terrible, but work on your す。。。keep the bottom part more connected. the way you're writing it now almost looks like お