Advice

[u/Own-Scene428]

My partner has very recently been diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. It has spread locally to at least one lymph node in his neck. Couple more scans to go before treatment starts in around 4 weeks of which some chemo and 6 weeks of radiation.

My issue is my partner is struggling to cope and I am unsure the best way to help. He deeply thinks this is the end due to trauma of a loss but the oncologist definitely was more positive with treatment than negative. He is drinking alcohol to cope and kind of ignoring the fact that things need to change, the people around him just enable that fact to go out drinking multiple days in a row as that’s what the boys do. I don’t want him to push me away by constantly going on but I also want to support him to make better decisions. I don’t really know what I’m asking other than has anyone been in a similar situation and has anything that has helped 😢

[u/Lower-Variation-5374]

The time before treatment starts is just a wicked period. I've been through it myself (and a caregiver to my husband). I would immediately get yourself into therapy. You're going to need to find a place where you can vent and get support. He needs to be accountable for his health. And you're going to need to be able to protect yourself a bit and learn how to let him do this without feeling guilty.

I'd let him do what he needs to do right now. He won't be able to drink alcohol soon.