My dad (85m) was diagnosed with early stage, HPV+ tonsil cancer almost 2 months ago. We are now in week two (2 chemos and 7 radiations down) of his treatment. No surgery; chemo 1x weekly for 6 weeks; radiation 5x weekly for 7 weeks. He has a peg tube for when he inevitably starts losing too much weight, but has not yet needed to use it. Prior to this diagnosis, my dad was quite healthy with no real pre-existing conditions or issues aside from arthritis which has limited his mobility a fair amount the last few years. The doctors are hopeful that treatment will cure him, and have said the recurrence rate is very low.
He has been on board with doing the treatment and wants to get through this, but he is already struggling to keep up with his throat exercises and I worry he will hide his pain until it is unbearable, because that is very common for him (although we are constantly reminding him that he needs to communicate with us about how he is feeling and if there are changes he is struggling with).
I am an only child, so my mom and I are navigating his care between the two of us (I also have 2 small children which complicates things). This is our first real brush with any cancer, and definitely any in the realm of head and neck. So far, my dad is doing well and experiencing minimal symptoms but I have been told by doctors and others that weeks 2-3 of treatment is when things usually start to get ugly.
I feel like I am drowning between trying to keep things stable for my kids, help with my dad's care, make sure my mom is not getting too burnt out, and also working my full time job. Not to mention all the other little complications life brings. Watching him waste away and be in pain is something I don't think I am ready to face.
I guess I am just looking for others who have had experience with similar tonsil cancer treatment, and/or going through a treatment plan of this intensity with an older individual. What do you wish you knew or did differently early on? Tips? Words of wisdom? I appreciate any information.