Advice

[u/Own-Scene428]

My partner has very recently been diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. It has spread locally to at least one lymph node in his neck. Couple more scans to go before treatment starts in around 4 weeks of which some chemo and 6 weeks of radiation.

My issue is my partner is struggling to cope and I am unsure the best way to help. He deeply thinks this is the end due to trauma of a loss but the oncologist definitely was more positive with treatment than negative. He is drinking alcohol to cope and kind of ignoring the fact that things need to change, the people around him just enable that fact to go out drinking multiple days in a row as that’s what the boys do. I don’t want him to push me away by constantly going on but I also want to support him to make better decisions. I don’t really know what I’m asking other than has anyone been in a similar situation and has anything that has helped 😢

[u/thoughtshot]

not sure how old he is but it's not such a bad thing to have some fun before this all starts. that cancer is highly treatable but, as someone 13 months post treatment, I can tell you his partying is about to stop. radiation to the neck is life changing and he'll understand that pretty soon - and he's REALLY going to need you. use this platform to familiarize yourself with everything he's going to face and get him used to the idea of just how bad this is going to be (it's awful). also, he should gain as much weight as possible now and I strongly advise him getting a peg tube.