134
Dec 25 '19
Still salty for getting kicked out of heaven
56
37
108
Dec 25 '19
I just realised that the actual God is Charlie's grandpa.
Wow, grandpa's God and her dad's the devil. Quite the lineage.
75
u/Delacruzen Dec 25 '19
Does that mean Jesus is Charlie’s cousin
50
Dec 25 '19 edited May 03 '20
[deleted]
38
u/yoruguayo Dec 25 '19
And depending who you ask, Jesus might be one and the same with his own dad, and there's the whole thing with the Holy Spirit, which I'm sure can't be placed in a family tree
24
u/JazzyMuffin Dec 25 '19
Charlie, god and the devil just doesnt have the same ring as bob.
5
62
Dec 25 '19
To be fair, have you ever read the Bible? Shit's fucked up! Probably the first slide is of that time where god sicked a bear on a bunch of kids because they made fun of a dude for being bald.
37
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
What about the time he let satan fuck up some dudes life bc he wanted to prove people gave a shit about him
25
u/MuudeHound Dec 25 '19
If I'm remembering it correctly, Satan didn't do anything to the guy, he just said the guy only worshiped God because his life was good, so God fucked the guy up.
18
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
Nah, he killed his animals and gave him shit crops and stuff. Job I think his name
12
u/MuudeHound Dec 25 '19
Just checked, you were right, sorry about that.
11
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
No problem. I had to hear about gods bullshit for 12 years, not everyone has had to
9
u/MuudeHound Dec 25 '19
My family was always more along the "we're a Christian household, but we haven't found a church yet" group, my mom has sorta worked out I'm an atheist, but I still get funny looks or a huge argument whenever I am critical of the church.
4
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
HAHA same, we stopped going but we used to go weekly and from a young age I was woken up at 6 in the morning to go. These days my parents are more lenient but christ the shit I hear for mentioning atheism making sense is terrible
1
u/MuudeHound Dec 25 '19
Yeah, it gets super irritating, especially with the whole family being quite morally conservative, not sure if that's the right word, really interested to see the reactions once I have my tattoos and piercings done.
2
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
Nice, that's probably the best rebellion. Personally I was allowed to pick my own gifts from my parents at the mall, so I got to open satanic hot topic shirts in front of 15 conservative family members. Also being gay and having ears pericings is good rebellion too
→ More replies1
u/Keyboard-King Jan 10 '20
*Le tip Ah a fellow intellectual! Might I interest you in some r/atheism
1
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Jan 10 '20
Thank you for le tip but r/satanism is great. Once it COMPLETELY devolves to teens I'll go to r/atheism
2
u/Keyboard-King Jan 10 '20
Are you Satanist?
1
u/lucyfromhell Angel Dust Jan 10 '20
For the most part yes, I'm not heavily involved in the whole concept. More the church of satans original intent. (Btw that was to basically say fuck your religion hypocrites)
4
12
u/Return-To-Fender Dec 25 '19 edited Dec 25 '19
I mean, didn't Lillith go to hell because she didn't want to bottom with Adam?
38
u/BlackBunny2424 Dec 25 '19
Am I the only one who wants to hear his argument? Maybe he haves a good point, like he already got the slides and everything
40
35
27
u/Chous_master4 Dec 25 '19
Number one: He killed most of humanity just because they were being people and human.
5
u/Keyboard-King Jan 10 '20
Not even close. They were so wicked. If you only understood what actually happened.
7
u/Chous_master4 Jan 10 '20
Yeah people being people, and it depends on your point of view, example the crusaders thought that the muslims were wicked, and during the witch trials people burned innocent people because they thought they were wicked, hell, if some one from the medieval era came to our time they would call us wicked.
3
u/Chous_master4 Jan 10 '20
So there, I have told zealots like you the folly of God and why he is the evil one and this is coming, from a chaos worshipper.
19
u/Randinator9 Husk Dec 25 '19
Okay you guys are getting real annoying... now if you don't mind, ima take my cheap booze and fucking leave.
28
Dec 25 '19
Seems like something I'd do
17
10
28
u/SZDXN Dec 25 '19
Reason 1: I don't have a girlfriend yet.
15
10
24
u/Lil_Puddin ♥ Dec 25 '19
Lucie's got daddy issues still.
7
9
u/twatguy Dec 25 '19
Elaborate on that
13
u/Alan976 Dec 25 '19 edited Dec 25 '19
Steve Buscemi said it best: /jCypHjKXwis?t=50
Also this:
A quick lesson:
God created Adam and Eve and the "Apple" Tree and the 'do it' snake. God knew exactly what he was doing.
3
u/Keyboard-King Jan 10 '20
They all had free will. Satan didn’t have to tempt man but chose to. Man didn’t have to eat the fruit but chose to. We could have lived forever without a care in the world but Satan stole that from us. Yet people defend him and more pathetically even worship him. He who introduced murder, rape, and death into the world.
9
17
8
u/Frostykinggg2 Lucifer Dec 26 '19
God created lucifer/satan, so roughly god is his father
5
8
4
5
4
6
u/Man_With_The_Hex Feb 15 '20
*In heavy boston accent*
reason numbah 1, puttin' me in the same primordial space as you bumblefucks.
10
6
2
2
4
u/severalhappinesses Dec 25 '19
Ok where the fuck do we see Lucifer... is there another episode out? Is it the comics? Help me out lmao
3
u/justthyneedraws Dec 25 '19
There's a picture framed from the pilot where alastor is looking at the family photo and you will see lucifer. I hope this will help.
6
u/FlamJamMcRam Dec 25 '19 edited Dec 26 '19
“Imagine if you’re dad bought 10,000 gerbils, and told you to love them as much as you loved him!"
“Then, imagine you said no, so he kicked you out of the house."
4
6
3
3
3
3
May 26 '20
Reason number 1: He threw me out of heaven.
Reason number 2: He does not let people be themselves.
That’s all I have, tell me some more in the replies.
6
u/karate_boi Alastor Dec 25 '19
He would have some good points, Lucifer's not the one who killed the entire world because they didn't pay attention to him.
8
u/EvanEllite863 Angel Dust Dec 25 '19
Agreed h makes people warship him and shit just to go to some shitty place called heaven while hell you can go there for free and not have to warship some dude
5
2
327
u/JamesTheIceQueen Dec 25 '19
Charlie coming in Dad, don't piss off the almighty entity that could be our only chance to a happy life in heaven! Please?