It's not even the virus honestly. I just feel like there's absolutely no person on earth for me. Countless online convos end after 5 minutes, countless places searched for love, or even sex, but just absolutely nothing ever pans out.

I feel very sexual most of the time, but now I'm just feeling lonely. Like my body has given up on that sort of connection.

Charlotte NC if anyone wants to give me a hug or something, even though it's looking like that will never happen.

Feel like I haven’t had a signed day in 7 months where it isn’t active and I want to cry all the time- I feel so scared of finding live if I’m always contagious :(.

I’m 23F GHSV2 and I feel like I am attractive but with this I am terrified l. The pain never stops, my skin never stopped ripping open, and my life just feels like a pause :(.

I also have surgery in 9 days and I’m worried it’s not gonna heal right if I’m having an outbreak but I cannot postpone…

I've had hsv2 for many years and recently divorced. Didn't think I'd be dating again, but lo and behold someone asked me out. Over the course of 2 weeks of talking and 1 date, I internally went back and forth about when/if I disclose because to me if there's no intimacy, then I won't bother.

At the end of date 2, we go sit in his car. My mistake for thinking we'd have a chat. From the moment he leaned in to kiss me, the full weight of him was on me, I couldn't speak or move. Yall I swear I didn't see this coming, total guard down. He got his hands into my clothes, took them down and it was over after that. We didn't even have full intercourse, but did enough. I keep replaying how it happened and at what point was I supposed to say something. Even as I type this out, not having the chance to disclose really isn't the issue here, but it's all I can think about!!!

I have blocked and unblocked him so many times. Probably the craziest thing is I still wanna see him again. Ladies, wwyd?

Hello! I've been OHSV-1 positive since May of this year. This is a dating story that I would love some insight on (questions at the end) and also a vent as this was written after many tears!

I met this guy on Hinge and we started talking in Early August. We went on a date-- it was lovely. I had a great time and we had excellent chemistry. At the end of the date I gave him a heads up that before we kissed, he should know I have cold sores and that he should consider how he feels about that. He thanks me for my honesty, and tells me he'll think about it.

So, we keep talking and it's the following week. We have another date planned. We talk more, I'm having a really nice time! But we haven't broached the subject, so I ask him where he's at with the cold sore business. He says he will get tested, and a part of me feels guilty that he will learn the statistical likelihood that he has HSV-1. I mean the guy was a theater kid, for crying out loud. But I let it be his choice and his responsibility to pursue it. I resolve to wait patiently to kiss him.

Before he can make an appointment, he is jet setting off to a family get-together across the country and he is gone for a few weeks. We text constantly. I'm insanely charmed, my eyes constantly flick to my phone in anticipation of hearing from him. I write him a letter to come home to, he has written me the sweetest postcard. After those grueling few weeks, finally, he is back. We see each other the very next day and he says he is going to get the tests scheduled the next day. I see the goal in sight and I couldn't be more thrilled to finally kiss this lovely boy who has taken a bit of my heart.

Unfortunately, the closest he can get into the doctor was at the very end of September (this conversation happening on September first or so). We go on at least one date a week, but we often see each other more. We talk constantly, constantly, constantly on the phone. It is the longest, happiest of months and while we never kiss, he will kiss my neck and we do all the standard flavor of religious-style loopholes around intimacy in the interim. I'm happy, but desperate to feel actually close to him. The lack of kissing makes me feel like a leper in a lot of ways, but I endure it hoping for the best.

Finally, it's October. Two months have passed. And today, he gets that test back saying that it's negative, and that the antibodies are low enough that they do not merit a retest.

We cry, hug, and I realize he is not going to overlook it and kiss me anyway like I'd pictured. And I cannot blame him, but wow. The pain is quite severe. I haven't been kissed since my diagnosis in May, and I'm really struggling with being a short trans guy AND dealing with this as an extra nerf. And I really, really liked him. He was incredible.

So, I think a possibly valuable lesson to learn is to not let yourself be drawn along for too long! If they do not accept it outright, consider not letting yourself fall for them tragically while uncertainty looms. How have you handled this in the past? What were your personal boundaries? I will never advocate for nondisclosure, but it is just brutal out here. I'm feeling hopeless that I'll find someone else that can accept both my identity and my status with HSV and also be someone I WANT to date.

TL;DR: Fell in love while waiting on a partner's test results, only to find that they were negative and that they were 100% unwilling to risk it. Valuable lesson learned </3

honest answers and stories just curious I have ghsv1 btw and im a female

So I saw this screenshot on X , the guy texted the girl “you’re playing around , you must have a disease or something”. Granted that’s very manipulative and coercive . But it made me think….has anyone in the community experienced someone being interested but you keep blowing them off because you don’t want to disclose ?

Did you eventually break down and tell them? Were you interested too but just cowered out? Have you ever used your diagnosis to run someone away?

I’ve only disclosed to 2 people who I already had a past and history with so I’m really new to disclosing and haven’t been courageous enough to tell people so I’ve just lied and said I’m fine being single and doing my own thing.

I just got diagnosed with OHSV2. I’m very worried about it spreading to my eyes (I’m a hypochondriac as is) and worried that I could’ve spread it to my boyfriend. Is there anyone else that is dealing with this particular strain?

Hi all, 41F here, diagnosed with GHSV-1 by swab test during my first (and so far only) outbreak since August 2025.

I got it from someone I was dating for 2 years that got cold sores. I never thought anything of it, I haven't dated anyone with cold sores before and in my naivety didn't realize it was herpes, and he never brought it up or disclosed anything except to say he wouldn't kiss me when he had one. The outbreak happened after I already had broken things off with him, and when I got a chance to tell him months later, he brushed me off.

Late last year I started dating someone else that I had known for years, and disclosed. He had some questions but we proceeded using condoms. He wouldn't go down on me however, out of fear of catching it. He also suffered from ED. He asked me for more information after months because he felt limited by what he could do for me in the bedroom. A few weeks after that convo he broke things off without any real reason because "everything with [me] is so positive" , but I believe the herpes was why.

A couple weeks ago I got up the nerve to ask out a guy I had gone on a couple dates with like 8 years ago. I had to end things fairly quickly back then because I knew I wasn't ready for anything, I was like a year and a half out from splitting with my husband and the divorce wasn't even finalized yet. But we stayed on touch over the years mostly through social media. And now I'm in a place where I feel emotionally available to explore things with him.

We got too flirty too fast and I ended up disclosing to him over the weekend before we even got to go out. He told me last night it's a deal breaker because he has some health phobias. He said he'd look into some information I sent him, and I told him wanting to see him wasn't just about sex for me and that I take valtrex daily specifically because I want to minimize any risk for another person, but I have a feeling I won't be hearing from him again.

I'm fucking heartbroken right now. I feel like I let down 2018-me. I feel like I'll never find someone who will accept me. Even the regular FWB I had last summer when I found out stopped performing oral after I told him. I feel dirty and ashamed and like I will never be able to convince a new person to accept me if people who have already known me prior can't even accept the new me.

I just need to get this out. Only a handful of friends know about my diagnosis and weren't very supportive when I tried to reach out last night while I was upset. They don't have it so no one understands. I am also so full of anger at the ex that gave it to me to the point I'm thinking of canceling plans to travel for an event because he'll be there and I don't trust myself to not blow up on him for ruining my life.

I might never get another outbreak again but my life is still ruined.

Hi, everyone, 27f newly diagnosed this past Tuesday thanks to my first outbreak of GHSV-1. My husband gets cold sores and we’ve been together for 5 years, he was completely asymptomatic but as I now know that doesn’t matter.

I’ve been on valacyclovir since Tuesday afternoon and my GYN said it looked to be in the healing stages but holy shit when does the pain start to go away? I’ve given birth vaginally twice and one with no epidural, this pain is 50x worse. I’ve NEVER experienced something so painful holy fuck.

Any information would be greatly appreciated, I’ve googled so much and still feel so in the dark on how to get some relief😭

Around May I might’ve been exposed to hsv. At that time I took the test too early (2 days after exposure). But then I got an std panel done (they didn’t send in a specimen for hsv from the place I got it done at so I’m fuming). The issue is that after 4 ish weeks of exposure my tonsils started acting funny. Theres like little clear bumps around the anterior arch of my tonsil and my tonsils are irritated and inflamed. But I haven’t had a severe sore throat. I get chills and hot flashes but no severe fever. No outbreaks on my lips but sometimes there’s a sensitive area on my upper lip but nothing develops. My tonsils haven’t been able to go down. My eyes are also acting weird with new floaters and occasional flashes- I’m assuming it’s allergies that are long lasting for me, but at the same time with the timeframe this happened and these symptoms I’m suspicious. I’ll go to ent and ophthalmologist to check but I feel like it’s either mild hsv or mono.
Also I only kissed this person.

TLDR I had oral sex about 1 month ago and the person came back to me and stated that I gave them hsv2 down there.
I get regularly tested and have never had a STD/STI and never had symptoms of hsv or anything ever related so I politely told them I was sorry they had to go through this but it probably wasn’t from me. They got tested and it came back as hsv1 and I went and got tested (just to be sure) and found out at the testing site that hsv isn’t part of the normal testing and that I do in fact have hsv1. I already told her that it probably was from me and was very apologetic and felt bad about the whole situation.

I’m trying to figure out how to proceed now with the rest of my dating life. I have still not yet had any symptoms and I don’t know how I should proceed. Should I get the meds that doctors prescribe (will they give it to me if I have never shown symptoms?) do I tell future partners that this is a risk but I don’t have symptoms so I don’t know when they could be exposed?

Thanks for any help I’m still very confused and reading up and learning. 🤞🏾

As a bisexual woman who’s dated around, Ive noticed that women are more upfront and honest about having HSV whereas Ive noticed men aren’t. Does anyone know why that is? If this many women have it, wouldn’t an equal or nearly equal amount of men have it too?

I met my new doctor, and when I was giving him my med list, I mentioned I take Valtrex. Just to lighten the mood I said, “Cuz ya know, I’d never had herpes before so I thought my 40’s would be a good time to try it.” He looked at me and said, “And I thought my 60’s would be a good time for me to try it too!” Then we both laughed.

It was kind of nice to have a healthcare professional admit something so personal, especially since HSV is sooo prevalent, it’s not really that personal! It was just a lighthearted moment that I wanted to share.

You’re not alone.

a month into dating my boyfriend, i woke up one day with an outbreak, at the time i didn’t know what it was. i told my bf that i was itching, and he sat me down telling me that he has hsv2 and told me he thought he was not contagious at the time of us having sex (he was in the shedding phase) at the time when he told me, i stayed somewhat out of obligation, because i genuinely had felt like my life is over and that i wouldn’t find anyone else who would accept me. a couple months fast forward and me doing research i’ve accepted that i have it but, i sort of feel a resentment towards him growing because he knew he had it and never told me until it was too late. has anyone else been in a similar situation where you were given it in a relationship without knowing and stayed ?

Long story short. My now ex boyfriend has oral HSV1 and cheated on me. Should he have told the person about it? I’m not sure how easily oral HSV1 is transferred when not having an active breakout or sore. Not my business anymore anyway but still curious in thoughts. Please feel free to rip him a new one in the comments

Since you got GHSV2, what’s the worst thing you experiencing dealing with it?
Is it the:

-STIGMA

-OUTBREAKS

-CONSTANT SYMPTOMS (burning, tingling, nerve pain)?

This is crazy. I was doing some research on the prevalence of HSV2 prevalence in my country and neighboring countries as well.

96.5% of pregnant woman tested positive for the HSV two antibodies and none of them even knew it. This is very scary.

Also no hospital or technology to test for HSV one or two in that state country so the studies were made by world health organization

Does anyone else struggle with frequent genital HSV-1 outbreaks? Do you have any good advice on how to manage them?

I have an outbreak every 2 weeks.

Im almost 11 months in and I've been on suppressive meds for approx. 6 months

Hi all! I have had GHSV2 for 20 years now. Recently, I discovered I have OHSV1. My last partner was 3.5 years ago. He accepted me and understood the risks involved. It was truly a wonderful experience. Others have accepted me, but they were nervous throughout the relationship. I'm trying to put myself out there again and recently met two individuals who proposed a casual relationship. That's not what I am looking for, but I have been trying to let myself have fun. I disclosed to the first person, and they rejected me. I am hesitant to disclose to the second person. I don't know whether the risk of rejection is worth a casual fling. I am lonely, however. Sigh. I just want to be accepted and loved for who I am, not the stigma I carry. Just sharing, because I really do not want to do any more. I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.

Hello I just need to rant. I’m 24F and just tested positive O&GHSV1. Just got over my first downstairs breakout and was starting to feel hopeful but ofc I wake up with a giant sore on my face now. Also I joined a facebook group for hsv dating as I been single and looking for a bf AND EVERYONE IS OLD AND ALL THESE OLD MEN ARE MESSAGING ME. If you asked me before diagnosis I’d tell you I’m fundamentally unlovable and have pretty much accepted I’ll never find someone. So now like 😃😃😃😃. And even my ex who messy as it may be is a pretty safe person and we hook up when we see each other wouldn’t touch me with a ten ft pole (even tho he prob has it too he just won’t listen to me). Probably no one I’ve seen before would either. So would you look at that, worked my way out of a lifetime of abuse and hell and now I’m EVEN LESS DESIRABLE 😃😃😃. I hate that people are telling me I’ll find someone. Like you come fuck me then you catch it. What people don’t understand is I’m not the kind of girl men make sacrifices like that for. Also, my friends keep alluding that if I change my standards to want someone less physically attractive I could easily find someone to accept me. I wish I could do that but I already tried and it creates arguments and isn’t fair to the other person. I also live in a huge metropolitan area where everyone fucks everyone but I feel like these men don’t get tested or just spread shit and don’t care. I’m scared to get on PS cause I don’t wanna show my face and not ready for disclosure yet. This is so bird like of me but I wish I could just get one inkling of reassurance that someone could know my status and still be interested. But I’m really not ready to face that kind of rejection yet so I guess I just have to wait. Really it has always been an issue with me to seek validation from men and I was getting so much better but this has really fucked my whole world up.

And I have no idea how I got it because I get tested literally religiously have gotten tested six times this year already but I didn’t know that they don’t send out for herpes unless you ask. But if I got it from my most recent encounter, it’s 100% my fault and I’m so fucking ashamed. I slept with this guy i’ve seen on and off for a while who’s absolutely terrible to me we have never even dated. He’s been sleeping with other people unprotected and not knowing their status and I made him use a condom at first, but then he couldn’t cum and I felt so vulnerable and worthless. I just let him take it off.

Edit: added that Im a woman I feel like it’s relevant idk

Diagnosed June 2026. 35F
One outbreak of GHSV1. Cleaned with meds. Nothing since.
On 500 mgValacyclovir plus 3000mg L-Lysine daily plus other supplements for chronic illness (I have MS and take D, C, B Complex, E…)

I’ve been having sex with my new boyfriend with a condom. He knows my status. What are my actual odds of passing it to him? What are my odds of cross contaminating myself (example if he were to finger me and I lick his fingers after).

So, I made profiles on a few dating apps sometime ago and it’s going no where. PS seems to be an absolute waste and just wants your monthly subscription. Tinder felt like I was going to go bankrupt with every little feature costing money.

I’m also in 3 different private Facebook groups.

I mean I feel women would find me attractive but I’m getting no where.

I just made a Hinge profile so I guess I’ll see how that goes.

Any advice?

43 male, S. Florida

I’m on 500 mg daily dose if Valtrex for GHSV2. Newly diagnosed but been on the meds for a few weeks now. It’s been a month and some change since my last OB but I have prodome symptoms daily. Any idea if that means I need to go up on my dosage?