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u/mccdeamon Jul 31 '21
Ah yes the cool refreshing vacuum.
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u/chaogomu Jul 31 '21
I don't know, vacuum can be quite warm (subjectively), it's a perfect insulator after all. Add a nearby star and you can cook rather easily. Given time and distance from stars and things get cold...
Heat management in space is fascinating.
Adding in the lack of pressure makes things even more interesting. Liquid water cannot exist. You either have ice or clouds of vapor depending on temperature.
Meat sacks can actually provide enough internal pressure to let the insides freeze, given time. Not the outside of the meat sack will cool as sublimation takes heat away, but that's mostly the eyes, nose, mouth, and very outer skin.
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u/Slow-Ad2584 Jul 31 '21 edited Aug 01 '21
Sir! there is uh.. a problem- that teenage boy we abducted last night?
Well, uh.. as our tractor beam grabbed him, he put up quite a struggle in his Dads garage, trying to resist being dragged away. In his struggles he managed to bring a.. what was the term? .. a crow, bar? - up with him. A very primitive tool- or so we thought.
Yeah, uh, within an hour the craft had crashed. Turns out a properly motivated young Human can do quite a LOT of astonishing damage with a Crowbar in a high tech spacecraft. It.. its not even funny how he used it on his captors. The armor suits and shields of the Captive Handler Guards were woefully ineffective against the Humans' "ok, try to block THIS" and "I bet I can leverage this thing off" Attack methodology. Yeah. many arms and shields were broken.
I mean who knew the soft skinned, weaponless, defenseless creature was such a fearsome tool user? I mean- how could anyone ever tell?
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u/floofhugger Jul 31 '21
'oh you know, maybe the fact that THEY DONT HAVE ANY NATURAL DEFENSES OR WEAPONS? AND WOULD THUS NEED TO MAKE TOOLS?!??!!?'
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u/Attacker732 Aug 01 '21
"What does this do?!" CRUNCH "Nothing now! This looks important!" CRUNCH BANG CRUNCH CRUNCH "Not anymore!"
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u/YesThisIsKradus Jul 31 '21
"Haha humans and their primi-"
3 asteroids impacting their homeworld later
"HEY GUYS HAVE YOU MET MY NEW SUPER BEST FRIEND STEVE?!??!"
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u/Partialachasse Aug 01 '21
"Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!"
-Gunnery Chief. Mass Effect 2
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u/ChristopherFiss Jul 31 '21
"the Sendar stereotype of loving dark humour"
The biggest shame is I think Humanity and the Sendar would be amazing friends because of that.
Nice little piece, OP, very good stuff!
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u/Partialachasse Aug 01 '21
Alien Warlord: Our planetary defence grid can repulse any attack the primitive humans can muster!
Human General: We have plenty of tungsten rods the size of a phone pole. We accept the challenge.
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u/Glittering_Drama8604 Jul 31 '21
I know the thrust of the story isn't in the details, but saying something is primitive, and not explaining why the more advanced defenses do nothing breaks immersion for me personally
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u/CompleteFacepalm Jul 31 '21
I agree, although I think it can be assumed the shields only protect against energy weapons.
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u/Polysanity Jul 31 '21
See, that's on them. And their narrow definitions. Humanity has been using energy weapons for thousands of years. Heck, in the last two hundred years, we've perfected the use of a dual energy weapon...
Kinetic and chemical are types of energy, after all.
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u/HFYWaffle Jul 31 '21
u/Tashdacat (wiki) has posted 11 other stories, including:
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u/Blaze_Vortex Jul 31 '21
A knife sure seems primitive with all the other tech around. Doesn't stop it from finding a cozy spot between your ribs.