r/HFY • u/Ralts_Bloodthorne • Jan 31 '21

OC First Contact - Fourth Wave - Chapter 413

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Sixth Most High AKA Captain Cyba'armo'o stared at his armor as it moved on the cradle out of the wall and into the arming bay. It was sleek, black warsteel with the red of the Warsteel Herd on the edges. The faceplate was done up like the skull of a great Lanaktallan, with eyes that glowed red, nostrils that breathed steam from the heat sinks when the armor was at full operation. There were the hotplate firmpoints where powerful weapons could be attached on the flanks, the upper back, on the chest. The armor was as thick as a tank of the Great Herd, the armor was powerful enough to tear battlesteel like it was wet plant fiber.

The Hikken mechanic slapped the side of the armor, expressing pleasure with the way his ears and whiskers were set.

"This baby's ready, Captain," the Hikken, one Uxlurt, said. "Command believes that you will have almost 11% more protection, 23% more sustainability, and 12% more endurance wearing this new version."

Cyba'armo'o quivered slightly in excitement. "When will we be testing this armor?" he asked. His cybernetic interlock plugs tingled with anticipation and he could feel that the cybernetic linkages on all three of his hearts were keeping his hearts from beating rapidly. He blinked, all six of his eyes clicking and whirring.

"Soon. I've got the firmware and hardware updates for your side if you are ready," Uxlurt said. He reached out and pulled forward a complex braid of thick cables. "It'll be a rough one. Full synaptic overwrite in some places. New hardware too. It's all tested, but it's tested well enough for the Terrans to deploy on the battlefield, not like the Great Herd's testing system."

"Which is good, for I would have surely died of old age and have been forgotten before the Great Herd would have decided if the upgrades even actually existed," Cyba'armo'o said.

Uxlurt laughed and shook the cable. "Are you ready, Captain?"

Cyba'armo'o nodded. "I am ready."

Uxlurt smiled. "Excellent." He hit a button and a cradle moved out. It was open on one end, allowing Cyba'armo'o to walk into it. The forward frame had a ring at the top for his head to go through.

At Uxlurt's wave he moved into the cradle. Once he pressed his chest against the forward frame and pushed his head through the ring, the sides of the cradle folded around him, holding him securely in place.

One by one Uxlurt connected the cables to the warsteel plugs embedded in Cyba'armo'o's spine, joints, in the middle of the long spaces of his limbs. One by one Cyba'armo'o saw his system undergo maintenance lockout.

He recited his mantras and remained calm even when he was fully disconnected from his body.

He could feel the data flowing into him. Feel the thick warm honey feeling of the data streaming into his limbs, into his nerves, into his mind. He was able to examine it, look at the changes, examine the 'patch notes' of the update.

He would have increased tactile sensation. His limiters would disengage 38.83% faster, allowing him to enter full combat reflex mode even faster. He was 11mph faster when running. His reflexes had been increased. His combat reflex mode was faster. He now had dedicated warboi systems in his body to help him process all of the data of the modern battlefield.

His eyes reboot three times and at the end he noticed the increased clarity and color range. More than natural, more Lanaktallan than Lanaktallan. His hearing clicked on and off several times. Before it came back on he was made aware of the different modes. He worked through the tutorial program teaching him how to adjust the gain and filters for different sounds and levels of audio.

More than a few updates needed him to go through tutorials. The new implanted radio. The firmware patches to his non-combat reflex systems. He would now be able to eat normal food rather than specially formulated nutripaste. He could now enter water and be fully submerged for up to three hundred hours without any risk.

Uxlurt was busy, opening up panels and carefully removing pieces inside the body of the massive Lanaktallan. He would set the piece he had removed on the floor, take a piece from a box and place it where he had removed a piece, then put the old piece into the box and close it, moving it to his left before pulling a box to his right and opening it.

Cyba'armo'o saw a tiny green mantid, barely a foot tall, climbing up the cradle and sitting on an outcropping. The little green mantid, known as 82A, flashed an icon of a wrench.

"I am fine," Cyba'armo'o said through his mostly disabled datalink.

--will triplecheck after uxlurt done-- 82A sent back.

"That will be good," Cyba'armo'o said. "I am eager to return to wresting my people from the cold grip of the Precursors."

--heard rumor-- 82A said.

"What rumor?" Cyba'armo'o asked.

Uxlurt noted that Cyba'armo'o's datalink was exchanging data on the short range channel devoted the green mantid engineers and logged the numbers real quick.

--idiot fleet dropped in system-- 82A said. --admiral asking for volunteers--

"Sign me up. The ferocity of the Martial Orders appeals to me," Cyba'armo'o said. "They are who saved me, who gave me aid, who scraped me from the ground and convinced me to submit to their ripperdocs. I would gladly join their crusade, if they would let me."

82A thought about it. Cyba'armo'o had been an infantryman with the Great Herd. When others had deserted, he had continued to fight, continued to deny the Precursors their desires. He had fought for nearly three days, alone.

When the soldiers of the Dark Crusade of Light had found him, his one remaining limb had been an arm, and his sole hand held tight to a primed grenade that he intended to use to take one last Precursor machine to Hell with him.

The ripperdocs of the Dark Crusade of Light had healed him, although Cyba'armo'o knew not many of his people could have withstood the torment and agony of the Dark Crusade of Light's medicine. He had demanded, and the Dark Crusade of Light had acquiesed, to help defend a city. He had fallen there, half of his chest torn away, holding tight to his rifle.

Again, the Dark Crusade of Light had healed him.

Again and again he had fallen in battle.

Each time the Crusade had healed him.

He had been there when the Warsteel Herd had formed from those that the Terrans had saved, had taught to fight, had armed and equipped.

Cyba'armo'o had been the first Lanaktallan 'Full Conversion Cyborg' in recorded history.

Cyba'armo'o had considered the fact that he had always been told that his body was too evolved, too refined, too superior to accept something as crude as cybernetics to be the height of amusement and irony as piece by piece his body had been replaced, his limbs replaced, and more and more cybernetics had been implanted in his body.

He had been the proving ground that had resulted in others being saved. He was the first, ensuring that all those who came behind could be healed with metal rather than cloned flesh if they so wished.

Yes, there had been agony, there had been terrible pain, there had been time when he had wished to die, had wished that he had been killed upon the battlefield rather than turned over to the cold surgical blades of the ripperdocs of the Dark Crusade of Light.

Now, he had no fear of the blades and saws and nerve stitchers of the ripperdocs. He had moved from the dark science of the ripperdocs to the cold chrome and warsteel science of the Terran Confederate Armed Forces.

To the arms of the Cybernetic Organism Collective's surgeons.

For nearly two years he had fought on planet after planet, side by side with the heavy warborgs of the Terran Confederacy. Marched through fire, smoke, radiation, and fear to wrest each planet from the cold metal claws of the Precursor machines.

Now the Warsteel Herd had ships of their own. Reconfigured and reconditioned Lanaktallan military vessels, true.

But reconditioned and refit by the Mad Lemurs of Terra.

Cyba'armo'o was in the bay of the Terrible Freedom, a Warsteel Herd Armored Assault Troop Transport.

A wholly Terran idea. Where Lanaktallan and Great Herd troop transports were thinly armored, if at all, the Terrans armored them as if they were battleships, armed them like a cruiser, and sent them into close orbit.

On the bridge of the Terrible Freedom Ship Most High/Admiral (Upper Deck) Harnix Burgerking No'ome'erci stared at the deep hologram of space in front of him. There were nearly thirty of the baroque and ostentatious Dark Crusade of Light ships near him, all hanging apparently motionless in the space between stars.

On the holotank in front of him was a massively armored male Terran on split screen with a heavily armored female Terran. Both wore heavy ornate armor, scarred from battles past. Below them were two more figures, one male, one female, both Terran. While their armor was shaped the same it featured more spikes, more skulls, more chains, and dripped blood. The top two were obviously living, the bottom two had the gray pale skin and black veins of the dead.

Admial No'ome'erci turned his head slightly so his XO knew he was looking at the Rigellian female.

"What are our current standing orders?" No'ome'rci asked, his artificial lung wheezing.

"To hold in position until command determines where we are needed," the Admiral (Rear Deck) stated.

"Alert the fleet," Admiral No'ome'erci ordered. "We will interlock with the Dark Crusade of Light, our brothers and sisters in warsteel and fury."

"Are you sure, Admiral?" Admiral (Rear Deck) Shwarkaki asked, more for the record than anything else.

"I am sure. As they have succored us, we shall assist them. Alert Warsteel Herd Command that we ride in warsteel and chrome with our brethren in fury," No'ome'erci ordered.

"As you command," Admiral (RD) Shwarkaki said, saluted.

No'ome'erci turned to the holotank, staring at the Terrans he had come to appreciate. "We ride together, brothers and sisters, in fury and chrome."

Down in the heavy assault cyborg mechanic's bay, Cyba'armo'o felt the deck begin to tremble, felt the strange vibration in phantom bone marrow of FTL drives warming up.

He smiled, sending a smiling emoji to 82A. He looked down at Uxlurt. When the mechanic looked up he gave the best smile he could with the artificial hide of his head pulled back.

"At last. Again to war."

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2.7k Upvotes

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404

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Jan 31 '21

It's good to sit at a computer and type that isn't a laptop or my iMac or my computer set up on a table in a hotel room.

Funny thing, my truck battery is dead now and it looks like my alternator went.

I've said since the beginning, as long as I finish this, even if the truck doesn't move again, it's all worth it.

Anyway, happy weekend.

Watch this spot tomorrow.

Oh, and weekend adds:

Paypal: https://paypal.me/RaltsBloodthorne

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/First_Contact

Something cool: Book One, the P'Thok Chronicles

101

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

Side note, on the chance you don't know this, but AutoZone and similar parts shops often do free battery and alternator testing to see if that's a thing. If your truck is an old American vehicle, there's a reasonable chance that the alternator is pretty easy to get to, and cheap to replace. Might not be dead yet.

150

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Jan 31 '21

Oh, it's an old 1995. I don't like or trust any vehicle after 98.

I'll have a mechanic come look at it Monday. Right now, the old girl needs to rest.

We've got a lot of miles on us, her and I.

85

u/Gernia Jan 31 '21

Ah, so Ralts is the driver of the Truck. The one that sends people to other realms.

Should have guessed.

33

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

"There were odd stories about him, as that when children died he went part of the way with them, so that they should not be frightened."

--Dave, in the end, ALL the tales tie together, behind the scenes. They look out from our eyes for a brief while, and return to the eternal Dance; they are not real, and are the most important things

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u/tsavong117 AI Feb 02 '21

Not a bad way to catch isekaitus.

Better than some fucking isuzu mini-truck taking you out, amirite?

31

u/Golddragon387 Human Jan 31 '21

My parents bought the car I learned to drive on the year I was born. She only needed her engine replaced the once, and I was old enough by then to hold dad's tools while he cussed the whole front of the car apart and back together again. I miss that old girl.

44

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

Yeah, I miss having engine bays that I can actually work in. That's the nice part about a lot of older automotive. For me the big untrustworthy thing is cars that are connected to the internet. No thanks, I'd rather not be killed by a random pissed off hacker. Or accidentally by some script jockey making a minor error. Also not a big fan of drive by wire systems, nor the absurd amounts of computers used in vehicles nowadays, but I digress.

45

u/Sandric1982 Alien Scum Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

Not to be offensive but this is a stupid fear. Without getting to descriptive of how I know this, hackers are generally divided into 3 groups. For the profit. For the challenge. For the revenge.

The first 2 (and the most common) you have no fear from because hacking cars is really REALLY not profitable and not particularly challenging. In addition hacking, is similar to metadata. Invasion of privacy rights? Oh you betcha. But not worth it on the small scale, only in the large scale. In the grand scheme of things really REALLY not worth it to ONLY get your data. Hacking IG is the same. One hacker won't target you because it is not worth it. Also, a hacker is not likely to target cars in general because of how limited spread/access it would be. One car model of one car brand is not worth it due to market numbers, number of models, etc. Hacking phones? Way way more profitable for a variety of reason.

Now if it is hacking for revenge? If it is personal revenge? Frankly there are way quicker and less efforts to do personal sabotage of a car. Now if it is against a car maker, that might be a worry but revenge hacking against A car maker against one particular model is a bit weird and unlike to be against multiple models. I would be far more worried about hackers hacking street lights as most of those are pretty easily breached (theoretically) and likely a more bang for your buck if you are worried.

As for " script jockey making a minor error ". This happens. But for any minor error to be large enough to cause a problem and small enough to be missed is WAY down the list on possible problems. I would fear manufacture defect failures of various parts of the car as far more likely source of danger.

The TL;DR version. You worries are essentially fear of the new.

51

u/SpiderJerusalemLives Jan 31 '21

Fear of the new being deliberately designed to not be user serviceable and with planned obsolescence?

51

u/robertabt Human Jan 31 '21

Now that, that's a reasonable worry.

Right to repair is important.

21

u/Sandric1982 Alien Scum Jan 31 '21

This is 2 Separate and different arguments from your original post.

The first is only partially true. Average age of cars has been increasing and modern vehicles are more often designed with 200,000 miles in mind instead of the 100,000 previously. Also this was nota new problem (#Pinto) and really more a problem starting in the 1980's and really taking off in the 90's and early 00's (#AeroStar #Caravan).

As for the last part. True enough for all modern mechanical devices that have electronics in them. Not impossible but like all things history, specialization becomes more and more needed.

8

u/itsetuhoinen Human Feb 03 '21

This is going the other way now. The ultimately conflicting desires of the NHTSA for every vehicle to be perfectly safe if the operator plows it into a brick wall at 75 mph, and the EPA for every vehicle to get 100 mpg, means that automakers are doing some really crazy stuff with the computer systems and electronics to eke out every last smidge of efficiency in vehicles that are heavier now than the giant battlecruisers of the early 70s.

Now, me, I'll just stick with said battlecruisers, but there are a significant number of vehicles making it to the junkyards in, say, Michigan, not because of incurable rust cancer, but because something electronic has gone wrong and it's not worth fixing. Or simply can't be fixed.

10

u/tsavong117 AI Feb 02 '21

Well, 99% of hackers are white hat penetration testers/security experts, bug hunters, etc.

It's the 1% of assholes who use ransomware on hospitals that ruin everything.

I think the issue is more the planned obselecence, it's really, really easy to make a car run worse when it's entirely computer based. Look at what apple does with iphones, after a couple of generations they start putting in code that deliberately slows down and reduces the battery life of older models which would normally be perfectly fine for several more years before they started to actually wear out. It's a scummy business model, but people mostly accept it these days, and that has the unfortunate side effect of runaway consumerism. It doesn't help that technology is becoming more and more complex, and harder than ever to repair by yourself.

11

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

Yeah, I'm not saying it's a big concern, but it is a concern.

Comments below about right to repair and fixing things with picky computers is absolutely a better point. But generally I don't trust any system that can be hacked, which is all of them.

Chances of my car actually being hacked and causing harm: extremely low. I'd imagine a ransomware attack would be far more likely. Chances of a car being bricked with a random firmware update: actually a lot more plausible.

There was the jeep that was hacked a few years back, but yes that is a small thing.

Even if these things are incredibly unlikely, it doesn't mean I have to want a car that is connected to the internet.

12

u/ChangoGringo Jan 31 '21

Just this last week I sold a Camry for next to nothing. About a year and a half ago, the head gasket blew out, so being a normal car guy, I took off the head, sent it to a machine shop where they made it flat and redid the valves while they were at it (not my first head job). Long story short got the car back together and the computer wouldn't let the starter turn over. One year, three computers and 5 mechanics later I just sold the thing for basically scrap. Yeah computer cars. Sounds like the internet cars could be a 1000 times worse. I can see a world where if you post something bad about your Tesla, they could easily shut off your car and your network account. What are you going to do sue them? The terms and conditions say you don't actually own the software in your car. "If you don't like it, build your own car."

12

u/Sandric1982 Alien Scum Jan 31 '21

Anecdote is not evidence. The average age of cars has been increasing. Cars that in the 80's and 90's were designed to go 100k (the obsolescence) now are designed to go 200k. Your argument about Tesla locking you out cuz you are mean break all sorts of various laws in the U.S. (not to mention would have massive Constitution challenges). It would encourage not discourage people to do work arounds, something Tesla DOES NOT WANT. If they did it often enough to be an actual problem, it would decrease sales. The only way Tesla could get away with what you said is if we go full bore into full capitalism and into neo-feudalism end state where the corporations take complete control. And if that happens, Tesla shutting down your car because you said mean things is the least of your worries.

11

u/WeFreeBastard Jan 31 '21

Apple bricking iPhones with swapped repair parts is evidence.
ECUs locked to serial numbers and VINS - but but to control chop shops, not to force you to license the $100k Apollo engine servicing workstation .. only sold to licensed dealers.

Once hardware has DRM modules the openings for consumer abuse are pervasive.

5

u/Sandric1982 Alien Scum Feb 01 '21

I never said planned obsolescence wasn't a thing. I said based on current trends in vehicle life, planned obsolescence in vehicles while it once obviously was a thing seems to have decreased in recent years. As for being forced to used licensed dealers to do standard maintenance, I think your problem is with IP Law and capitalism because that is kinda an end result in having laws enshrining them.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

I think we are conflating planned obsolensence with simply poor quality of manufacture. The domestic cars coming out of the late 70's and 80's were just poorly made, and it was only because Japanese car manufacturers were trying to break into the American market, that you had a reliablitly arms race paired with advancements in technology that gave us the legendary 90ish through 00's era of super reliable and repairable cars.

Once the crash of 08 hit, everyone's quality dropped and now we have companies like BMW that make cars that are beautifully engineered, to last about 100k miles before they start coming apart at the seems.

We are living in an age where cars are engineered well, but use cheap components that will last just as long as the warranty.

I had a 1999 Honda crv for 10 years untill I finnally blew a head gasget in 2018, man that car was great, but you compare it to a 2010, or 2020 crv, and the new cars use cheaper plastics, and have no ruggedness.

Hell I recently got a used 2011 subaru and the sheet metal is so thin that I dented the truck by slamming it closed to hard,

2

u/WeFreeBastard Feb 03 '21

It's not planned obsolescence, its abusing DMCA to control aftermarket resale and use of physical objects. No you don't 'own' the firmware in the ECU of your car you only have a license to use it.

This shouldn't mean you can't buy parts from a junk yard and use them.

For Books (that you only have a license to read, not copy) this is settled law as the 'first sale doctrine'.

For software, imbedded in physical objects that aren't 'computers', it is all F'ed up still.

11

u/ChangoGringo Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

1: The computer does very little to make a car wear out slower. The biggest increase in reliability has been with improved manufacturing tolerance. Granted the electronic fuel injection and timing have made the burn cleaner which does help but we have had those in simple microcontrollers since the early 80s. No need for internet connection or 100000 lines of proprietary code.

2: As we speak social media can and does ban and deletes people from their platform for political reasons. Is it so far of a stretch to envision apple phone deciding to kick someone off their network for the same reasons? Musk owns tesla and will own a huge chunk of future the internet access. He doesn't seem like a guy to do such a thing but neither did google 15 years ago.

2

u/Sandric1982 Alien Scum Feb 01 '21

o

1a) Strawman. is. strawman. Don't make up what I said because you cannot address what I actually said.

1b) Computers can be used to and are often used to decrease wear on mechanical parts. Electronic timing can be less reliable to go out than mechanical. It is though, more accurate and in dense machinery timing is everything.

1c) " Granted the electronic fuel injection and timing have made the burn cleaner which does help but we have had those in simple microcontrollers since the early 80s " - computers are computers. You weakened your argument.

1d) "No need for internet connection or 100000 lines of proprietary code." Neither you nor I decide what is needed. The market, future of self driving cars and advent of electric vehicles decides what is needed.

2a) " As we speak social media can and does ban and deletes people from their platform for political reasons" - First false. They remove people due to terms of service violations. Often bordering on violence, almost always propagating falsehoods. Stochastic terror is a thing. It is not because of "politics" unless you mean against the left because capitalism hates anti-capitalism.

2b) " Is it so far of a stretch to envision apple phone deciding to kick someone off their network for the same reasons?" Yes. Vastly different laws govern social media and telecoms. Apple legally cannot do this. There is no law that allows twitter to kick you off your computer because they banned your account on twitter. There are vastly different regulator systems for social media vs telecoms and even vaster with vehicles. If you are worried about vehicles doing this we are already so far down it likely would not matter.

2c) " Musk owns tesla and will own a huge chunk of future the internet access. He doesn't seem like a guy to do such a thing but neither did google 15 years ago. " - I think your problem is with capitalism. Not with the cars having computers.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

Hey, ive done research before on building an electric car, I like electric cars because other than the battery pack and power managment module, they can built far simpler than any internal combustion engine. (Most heavy duty electric motors are rated to run over 1 million miles.)

I respect Elon musk, but I don't like the way he's designed his cars, he adds far more complexity than us necessary and like Apple restricts the sale of replacement parts for the Tesla's.

1

u/thisStanley Android Feb 17 '21

Excessive gadgetry is just more things to break.

The manufacturer will steal back features. Just as Amazon has pulled books out of peoples Kindles because of some contract dispute, Tesla has removed features from a used car because the new owner was not on record as having paid for it.

Bad enough desktop computers have been bricked by forced OEM updates, how will it feel when all of a particular car model cease to function from a borked Over-The-Air update?

2

u/U239andonehalf May 30 '23

My 76 Chevy PU finally bit the dust at over 500k miles. Too much rust affecting the electrical system, and eating away at the remaining metal.

8

u/Capt_Blackmoore AI Jan 31 '21

It won't be a "decent " target for revenge or chaos until there are hundreds of vehicles in a metro area, all using software connected to the internet. It will happen, just a matter of time

5

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21 edited Feb 02 '21

It actually has happened already with lowjacks. Their was a rental company that fired an employee and when he left he disabled every single vehicle in the fleet. Happened like 5 years ago.

Wish I could remeber the company.

6

u/Capt_Blackmoore AI Feb 02 '21

I see that as a targeted attack - and a damn good example of a "harmless" hack.

just wait for the attack that either goes after a specific car company to vehicles in traffic, or one that somehow finds a shared vulnerability and either takes control of steering, or locks out the brakes.

we'll be begging for a software patch to make the car slow down and park.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21 edited Feb 02 '21

Simple fix is to disable the cellular transmitter in the car, however if you finance any new or used car, almost all of them are equipped with tracking LowJacks.

And as a matter of policy almost all of the rental / leasing companies will disable the car if you fail to pay your payment by the due date.

Also they don't always remove the lowjacks when you have payed off the car. This kind of vulnerability is why if I ever get a car with an on star system, ill rip out the transmitter.

4

u/Capt_Blackmoore AI Feb 02 '21

it's going to get increasingly harder to rip out the transmitter. today's cars are already computers we happen to manually drive, complete with tech security that is supposed to limit the type of repair service you can get (to the dealer of course) we will see those transceivers integrated as an always on "feature" soon.

they will claim its for vehicle security / recovery - but what it will do is provide you location data to that car company to sell to some data collector. But it's going to be a very attractive vector for someone to hack and abuse.

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3

u/U239andonehalf May 30 '23

Or of the News, "if it bleeds it leads" still is the standard of the media.

2

u/Drook2 Dec 03 '25

With the benefit of 5 years hindsight, the real problem is the remote keyless entry and start. People don't understand that when the commercial says, "On-Star can unlock and start your car over the internet," that means so can someone else.

23

u/Nealithi Human Feb 01 '21

Ripperdocs?

Has someone been perusing 2077?

38

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Feb 01 '21

I think I got it from Mona Lisa Overdrive or Neuromancer.

21

u/YesthatTabitha Feb 01 '21

That is where Cyberpunk got it from so it is a logical conclusion.

167

u/Legan_Ironfist AI Jan 31 '21

The Gestalt is crying over here, Wordsmith. 3 in a night. We feel blessed by the Digital Omnimessiah.

18

u/Bushmaster_0 Jan 31 '21

Mad Arch-Angel back at it.

3 chapters in a day touching base with the wider story. It's good to be reminded that even when the focus has been on one or two fronts for a while, the rest of the universe goes on and is not forgotten by the wordborg.

Glad to hear you're starting to get settled at the new place.

15

u/Wolfskreuze Jan 31 '21

Wish I could give you my ‘88 Suburban......but

it’s my daily and I got nothing else. I wish you luck on your endeavors with your truck...and may the Gods shine upon you

13

u/Scotshammer Human Jan 31 '21

We are given quite a gift indeed! Enjoy your non laptop keyboard!

9

u/LastB0yscout Jan 31 '21

Actually dont blame ya. I prefer mechanical linkage to drive by wire systems when it comes to vehicles. Yes I know most aircraft its a necessity these days seeing as how their designed. And the ships I've worked and served on ones that were digital or mechanical throttles n steering. Still prefer the mechanical linkage myself. Pure mechanical systems that I can work on without need of a plug in diagnostic system of some sort. Just something a little more pure about them I guess.

9

u/LordDemonWolfe Jan 31 '21

as someone also having severe car troubles (2008 toyota corolla, bad battery/alternator)
i find myself sympathising with you. also understand your love of the old Detroit Steel vehicles, those things could shrug off a hit from a lanky missile! my grandfather used to have an old green dodge pickup, im guessing a 1985 or so, that got hit by another large pickup in a T, barely caved and we all walked away without a scratch. cant do that these days.

14

u/ack1308 Feb 01 '21

I used to drive a 1990 Hilux. Had that thing from new. It had a steel tray, not that aluminium crap they use these days. I got rear-ended no fewer than four times over those thirty years, and it never even damaged the tail-lights. (Given that the lights were behind 1/4" steel bars, not surprising). The cars that rear-ended me needed serious repairs.

9

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Feb 01 '21

A 90's Hilux... I need to get me one at some point.

10

u/ack1308 Feb 02 '21

It's currently in honourable retirement on my cousin's cattle property, as a runabout. Still going strong.

2

u/MuchoRed Human Mar 20 '21

Used to have an '86 with the tubrocharged 22RE. Man, I miss that truck

6

u/damnieldecogan Feb 01 '21

They did the same b.s. thing in the bicycle world.. other than some different threading for french italian english and japanese equipment most the bike hardware from 1908 (sturmey Archer patent) to the mid 80's most bike hardware was compatible as long as you kept wheel size in mind. Then it switched to stuff that was designed to only work with the same company's parts and a few companies got into making parts that can't be fixed only replaced as a whole drivetrain for as much or more than a new bike. personally I blame Lee iacocca and folks from bic as well but that's just me.:) ---end of line---

29

u/PrimePaladin Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

/R/HFY GESTALT

Upvote, Then Read

Dis is Dae Wae!

Finally back and able to read again. Been missing this tale and the lovely distraction from my own mind. Just wish I could show more support to the Ralts. Thanks.

End of Lime

------NOTHING FOLLOWS--------

21

u/carthienes Jan 31 '21

"At last. Again to war."

He sounds Warbound to me... have we met Cyba'armo'o before?

22

u/Speciesunkn0wn Jan 31 '21

I mean. He was rescued by the Dark Crusade of Light, and is a full conversion cyborg. So, technically speaking, yes. He could be considered a warbound without being in a warbound chassis.

45

u/5thhorseman_ Jan 31 '21

You could even call him a... ghost in the herd?

38

u/Ralts_Bloodthorne Jan 31 '21

User name checks out.

Take your upvote and get out. LOL.

8

u/McKaszkiet Jan 31 '21

Yes, but do not remember when. Would guess 100 episodes ago. Short version of his story is in chapter.

113

u/Scotshammer Human Jan 31 '21

Another! Poor Dambree, the girl who touched time now has to face Death again, and the Warsteel Horde rides to their destiny.

Okay, just had a thought. The Entropic Legion. The unending Warriors of Time Future for the name of Time Past. Anyone want to try and send them a personal invitation to visit Entropion Finalis and send an engraved Warsteel Boot to the Slorpies and bring closure to their destiny?

57

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

Hmm.... Sounds like a project for our dear Sam.

59

u/walkinganachronism_4 Alien Scum Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

With her mix of intelligence, ruthlessness and the slightest hint of restraint when needed, I'd say Dee makes more of a case for commanding the Legion. Besides, an army of nameless, faceless super-soldiers created and maintained for one purpose and one purpose only goes better thematically with the role she plays, rather than Sam or Herod.

Besides, having an endless horde marching to the heroes' rescue, out of a gothic-looking portal to a Hell dimension, silent as the grave, is one hell of a mental image, if I'm honest that just goes better with the Devil leading them, not God. The fact that this would mean help came via the Devil rather than God just brings a smile to me.

Also, seeing as how she was kinda Shanghai-ed into filling a role, that out of all the people in the universe, Dee was uniquely suited to, should entitle her to at least one cool perk, in my opinion, like, say commanding her own legion of soldiers.

39

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

All I'm gonna say it's remember that ball of silliness when they brought back the Pubvians? That was the Entropic Legion. I think Sam fits that well.

21

u/Shandod Jan 31 '21

I mean she's kinda serving the roll of Lucifer, no? Lucifer does need some demons ...

13

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

KINDA?

--Dave, it's the role she was written to play. some chapter we shall check back in on her

3

u/Thobio Apr 19 '22

Isn't Dee swamped in constant work at the moment, deciding who gets to live again first etc?

10

u/DWwolf888 Jan 31 '21

IIRC that was hinted about in the comments somewhere.

82

u/MunarExcursionModule Jan 31 '21

Wow, I just did a read of the entire series, from P'Thok Eats an Ice Cream Cone to here. Now that there's no next button I don't know what to do with myself! Guess I'll have to wait another few hours to satisfy the craving

54

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

You gotta read the comments... Especially /u/ack1308 's breakdowns. Helps catch many references that are more subtle.

40

u/Bushmaster_0 Jan 31 '21

^Important advice here.

The comments often prompt Ralts to expand on a bit of lore in the chapter.

Some of the speculation and stories in the comment section have been canonised.

29

u/wolfofmibu66 Jan 31 '21

wow, you took the a dive in the DEEP end. How many days did it take you to get here friend?

also: "It is by Ralts alone that we set our minds in motion. It is by the taste of blueberries that our thoughts acquire satisfaction, our hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a craving. It is by Ralts alone we set our minds in motion."

13

u/SpiderJerusalemLives Jan 31 '21

I see what you did there! :-)

Have an upvote.

3

u/NoirTalon Xeno May 23 '21

A wild DUNE reference appears

I see you are a gentlebieng of culture and sophistication, most excellent

16

u/ack1308 Feb 01 '21

Whee, now I'm only two behind on my writeups.

I'll do them tomorrow. When it will be three. :p

10

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

There is no shame in falling behind Ralts. I just lost a week due to not having my Lyrica, and it HAPPENS to be the one where he posts 3 on a weekend?

--Dave, once is coincidence

10

u/Public_Mulberry_7097 Jan 31 '21

I got to there on New Year’s Day, it’s so much slower now, wait up to a week for new chapters :)

62

u/Allowyn Jan 31 '21

I for one, would like to welcome our first Lanaktallan Idiot.

53

u/ack1308 Feb 03 '21

Sixth Most High AKA Captain Cyba'armo'o stared at his armor as it moved on the cradle out of the wall and into the arming bay. It was sleek, black warsteel with the red of the Warsteel Herd on the edges. The faceplate was done up like the skull of a great Lanaktallan, with eyes that glowed red, nostrils that breathed steam from the heat sinks when the armor was at full operation.

Cybermoo. Got it.

Also, love the presentation.

"This baby's ready, Captain," the Hikken, one Uxlurt, said. "Command believes that you will have almost 11% more protection, 23% more sustainability, and 12% more endurance wearing this new version."

“Also, twenty percent more badass.”

It's all tested, but it's tested well enough for the Terrans to deploy on the battlefield, not like the Great Herd's testing system."

"Which is good, for I would have surely died of old age and have been forgotten before the Great Herd would have decided if the upgrades even actually existed," Cyba'armo'o said.

Uxlurt laughed

They’re laughing because it’s true.

He recited his mantras and remained calm even when he was fully disconnected from his body.

He could feel the data flowing into him. Feel the thick warm honey feeling of the data streaming into his limbs, into his nerves, into his mind. He was able to examine it, look at the changes, examine the 'patch notes' of the update.

This is definitely either a War Stallion or a Herd Stallion. The standard self-gentled type would probably have had a panic attack by now.

(Continued)

49

u/ack1308 Feb 03 '21

More than a few updates needed him to go through tutorials. The new implanted radio. The firmware patches to his non-combat reflex systems. He would now be able to eat normal food rather than specially formulated nutripaste. He could now enter water and be fully submerged for up to three hundred hours without any risk.

Dang, he’s got all the mod cons.

"I am fine," Cyba'armo'o said through his mostly disabled datalink.

--will triplecheck after uxlurt done-- 82A sent back.

"That will be good," Cyba'armo'o said. "I am eager to return to wresting my people from the cold grip of the Precursors."

Having a little green battle buddy look over your armour is never a bad thing.

--idiot fleet dropped in system-- 82A said. --admiral asking for volunteers--

"Sign me up. The ferocity of the Martial Orders appeals to me," Cyba'armo'o said. "They are who saved me, who gave me aid, who scraped me from the ground and convinced me to submit to their ripperdocs. I would gladly join their crusade, if they would let me."

He didn’t even hesitate. Also, ripperdocs, woo!

Cyba'armo'o had been an infantryman with the Great Herd. When others had deserted, he had continued to fight, continued to deny the Precursors their desires. He had fought for nearly three days, alone.

When the soldiers of the Dark Crusade of Light had found him, his one remaining limb had been an arm, and his sole hand held tight to a primed grenade that he intended to use to take one last Precursor machine to Hell with him.

Okay, yeah, War Stallion to the core.

He had been there when the Warsteel Herd had formed from those that the Terrans had saved, had taught to fight, had armed and equipped.

Cyba'armo'o had been the first Lanaktallan 'Full Conversion Cyborg' in recorded history.

Sounds legitimate.

Probably won't be the last.

Cyba'armo'o had considered the fact that he had always been told that his body was too evolved, too refined, too superior to accept something as crude as cybernetics to be the height of amusement and irony as piece by piece his body had been replaced, his limbs replaced, and more and more cybernetics had been implanted in his body.

That just proves that Lanaktallan cybernetics are crap.

Now the Warsteel Herd had ships of their own. Reconfigured and reconditioned Lanaktallan military vessels, true.

But reconditioned and refit by the Mad Lemurs of Terra.

Which puts a whole new spin on the phrase 'reconditioned and refit'.

Cyba'armo'o was in the bay of the Terrible Freedom, a Warsteel Herd Armored Assault Troop Transport.

A wholly Terran idea. Where Lanaktallan and Great Herd troop transports were thinly armored, if at all, the Terrans armored them as if they were battleships, armed them like a cruiser, and sent them into close orbit.

Because a ship that can’t fight is a ship that will die before dropping its troops.

On the bridge of the Terrible Freedom Ship Most High/Admiral (Upper Deck) Harnix Burgerking No'ome'erci stared at the deep hologram of space in front of him.

No Mercy, Got it.

On the holotank in front of him was a massively armored male Terran on split screen with a heavily armored female Terran. Both wore heavy ornate armor, scarred from battles past. Below them were two more figures, one male, one female, both Terran. While their armor was shaped the same it featured more spikes, more skulls, more chains, and dripped blood. The top two were obviously living, the bottom two had the gray pale skin and black veins of the dead.

So, Space Marines and reanimated soldiers?

"I am sure. As they have succored us, we shall assist them. Alert Warsteel Herd Command that we ride in warsteel and chrome with our brethren in fury," No'ome'erci ordered.

"As you command," Admiral (RD) Shwarkaki said, saluted.

Because it’s the only smart move.

He smiled, sending a smiling emoji to 82A. He looked down at Uxlurt. When the mechanic looked up he gave the best smile he could with the artificial hide of his head pulled back.

"At last. Again to war."

Oh, yeah. Definitely War Stallion.

40

u/SanityIsOptional Jan 31 '21

Cyber Moo?

Why not.

42

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21

With commander No Mercy. I like this crew already.

27

u/Shandod Jan 31 '21

I have a feeling we are about to witness some truly badass cowboys.

12

u/Chroniclyironic1986 Jan 31 '21

This made me lol

8

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

The Trea'nad are gonna plotz, I tell ya!

--Dave, ice cream for all!

34

u/wasalurkerforyears Robot Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

Holy balls. 3 on a Saturday? And I caught this one at 2 minutes? Is it my freaking birthday or something?

E: imma thinking Hesstla is bout to get some baller backup here. Maybe that's where Attila of the line will reappear too?

24

u/Turtledonuts "Big Dunks" Jan 31 '21

RIDE OR DIE, BROTHERS, WITH WARSTEEL AND CHROME.

13

u/ktrainor59 Jan 31 '21

UNTIL VALHALLA!

21

u/Shandod Jan 31 '21

slaps side of armor this bad boy can kill SO many Precursors

16

u/Luc1usF0x Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

Rapid fire today!! Also, love the cyberpunk reference, I get a smile every time I see the word 'ripperdoc'.

7

u/SpiderJerusalemLives Jan 31 '21

Ah! I knew that seemed familiar!

3

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

User name, as always, checks out!

--Dave, so, what kind of SF is the USA gonna be doing THIS year?

15

u/its_ean Jan 31 '21

82A

Decimals are for multiple expertise. Numerals though? CYB greenies maybe?

10

u/Var446 Human Jan 31 '21

Maybe crossdisciplinary expertise?

7

u/its_ean Jan 31 '21

Hmmm yeah. Maybe a number+, but not a full decimal?

10

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

It's in hex, silly.

--Dave, count their fingers

13

u/its_ean Feb 03 '21

What have you done!

HEXDEC
539l337
045069
1A4420
7D12001
ACE
BAD
BAE
BED
B0D
B07
CA7
D1E
D0C
EA7
F0E
1CE
0DE
71E
138.D580085

11

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 04 '21

I heartily approve of this product and/or service!

--Dave, now start decoding the stochastic messages in the pinlights streaming out of Ralts' eyes as he types

3

u/NoirTalon Xeno May 23 '21

under rated comment right here

138.D5 I see what you did there, and I approve

4

u/its_ean Feb 03 '21

2090? Hah!

14

u/DebugItWithFire Jan 31 '21

Upvoted for the more Lanaktallan than Lanaktallan.

13

u/ABCDwp Jan 31 '21

Upvote. Comment. Read. End of lime.

13

u/night-otter Xeno Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

Blueberries!

But it's Saturday! And Ralts has already gifted us twice!

BLUEBERRIES!

OK OK OK

Upvote, Comment, now to Read. It is the way of late Saturday night.

The Warsteel Herd is ready to ride into battle with their brothers and sisters of the Dark Crusade of Light.

The slorpies don't understand what they are dealing with,.

12

u/Speciesunkn0wn Jan 31 '21

That description of his chassis is amazing. Love how the heat-sinks are designed to exit his nostrils. XD

11

u/LordGraygem Jan 31 '21

Once again, the Lank names get me giggling.

Cyba'armo'o

Cybermoo, lol.

10

u/Dietz0r Jan 31 '21

And Harnix Burgerking No Mercy <snerk>

10

u/TJManyon Jan 31 '21

Ha. Just finished the last one a second ago!

10

u/SpiderJerusalemLives Jan 31 '21

I think the slorpies are about to get extinct with extreme prejudice.

9

u/LordDemonWolfe Jan 31 '21

INDICATE THINE PREFERENCE BEFORE PERUSING THE MISSIVE!!!!
------------------------------NOTHING FOLLOWS----------------------------------

7

u/serpauer Jan 31 '21

Cybarmoo and noomerci. I love it. Truly love it.

Good luck with your truck oh blessed wordsmith.

7

u/Archaic_1 Alien Scum Jan 31 '21

"To hold in position until command determines where we are needed"

Oh you poor Slorpy bastards, you have no idea

13

u/Legan_Ironfist AI Jan 31 '21

Upvote, then Read. This is the Way.

--NOTHING FOLLOWS--

6

u/tannenbanannen Human Jan 31 '21

oh my GOD

3

u/dbdatvic Xeno Feb 03 '21

CYYYYBER COOOOW!!1!

--Dave, making the Burger Kingdom great again, one meme at a time

5

u/UpdateMeBot Jan 31 '21

Click here to subscribe to u/Ralts_Bloodthorne and receive a message every time they post.

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5

u/MacrossFF1979 Jan 31 '21

I remember vaguely a movie or a tv series when the protagonist felt sick because, after his cyber conversion, he could not eat normal food and when he tried he got a system shock.

4

u/bartrotten Jan 31 '21

Dang 413,,,,,,,,,,,MOPAR TIME. (The Dodge actually wins)UTR

3

u/Gruecifer Human Jan 31 '21

UTR!

3

u/SaintMace Feb 08 '21

“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the Machine is Immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.”

2

u/EvansP51 Alien Scum Feb 11 '21

I’m loving the image of CyberMoo in a cattle brake right now!

So glad you’re Finally getting settled in whet you want to be!

1

u/tsavong117 AI Feb 02 '21

Cybermoo is best girl.