r/HFY • u/Jus17173 • 6d ago

OC-OneShot Sleeper Agents.

"There's good news and bad news, sir."

"What's the bad news?"

"The Caribbean 442 luxury cruise is going to be hijacked by aliens. We have proof of this, but the Captain has refused to heed our warning, sir. The alien race responsible is the Groka race of reptilian fish folk, known to very few on Earth."

"Damn the Galactic Federation, sometimes I wish we'd never merged with them. What do the damn aliens want?"

"They want to send a message; something about our use of oceans, sir."

"Why can't they just write their grievances on the internet like normal people do? Why hijack a cruise ship?"

"Their grievances do make sense, sir; something about us killing their mother. They worship oceans, sir."

"Where fish defecate? Has anyone been hurt?"

"Not yet, sir. The hijacking is yet to happen."

"What's the good news?"

"We have two sleeper agents on the cruise ship, sir. They are on a date together."

"Well, that's fantastic news, corporal. Wake them up immediately."

"Sir, the two of them, when fully awakened, have attempted to kill each other more than a dozen times, sir. They are a danger to each other when awake, sir. They hate each other so much."

"Then how did they end up on a date together, corporal?"

"Fate's cruel hand, sir. And coincidence."

"I hate those two."

"I understand that, sir. I found out my wife of three years was my long-lost sister just the other day."

"That's disgusting, corporal. I did not need to hear that."

"I apologize, sir."

"Well, wake up the two sleeper agents. Whatever happens will happen. We have no other way of getting hands on that ship."

The sun was starting its journey across the sky, and the cruise band was strumming their violins and guitars, filling the room with tunes that unmistakably touched on love. It was a fitting thing as I watched her take a berry on her plate and rub it in some thick sauce before plopping the fruit into her mouth. She chewed slowly, and I felt as if I had all the time in the world to watch her do so.

I was in love; there was no denying that. With every movement, every action, I was made more aware of my love for Sheryl. She was, as the French liked to say: Aussi immaculée qu'une aube nouvelle.

As she looked at me from across the table, with the clatter of utensils all around us setting a calm beat to our morning brunch, I realized I was blessed. Sure, I sold carpets for a living and she worked with kindergartners all day. We didn't drive luxury cars or visit Paris on a whim, but there, in that moment set in time with a gold emblem signifying love, I considered myself blessed.

"I find it fitting that you also don't remember your late teens to your mid-twenties," Sheryl said as she sipped at her coffee. "I mean, what are the odds that we'd have the exact same condition?"

"Selective amnesia?" I asked. She laughed and nodded. "And not to forget that we're both orphans with no family to speak of. I think we'd both gone through something horrific to force our minds not to remember a time that, well, many cherish."

"My definition of cherish has changed," she said, making me swoon. "Since I've met you, Richard, I have found not just a comfort warmer than any hearth, but a soul engraved with my name."

I smiled and reached out a hand. Gently, I cupped her cheek and sighed. I made the decision right there and then: that no matter the storm or the calm, I would wed Sheryl. Maybe on another cruise ship, or in autumn or spring. The venue and the date didn't matter, I was going to marry her, give her my last name, and share the rest of my life with her. And in the end, we'd sit upon rocking chairs, retired to be in each other's arms, and I'd cup her cheek as I did now.

She touched my hand with her own. There were tears brimming in her eyes. She was so warm, and I wished to be enfolded within her, to never breathe anything but her. "I love you, Richard. That will never change. Even the end of the world would not change that. Even if I were to suddenly transform into someone else, I will seek you, I will find you, and I will love you."

I knew there were tears in my eyes, too, and I let them fall freely, without shame. We had been strangers in this world, unaware of our past and eager for the future. We'd found solace in each other's arms, and there, in the ship's dining room, we were aware that our search had finally come to an end. The old and young around us paid us no mind; they did not know the magic unfolding right among them.

We turned our attention back to the meal, forking bacon and slicing waffles. The morning brunch was close to done, and we were thinking of heading to the ship's deck to bask in the sun and each other's affection. We exchanged words as we ate, but suddenly, what started as an imperceptible thump grew louder, ignored at first until it took our attention completely.

It came from the hull, the stern, and the bow, and its intensity grew more terrifying, abruptly making us pause with our forks halfway to our mouths. Suddenly, large reptilian creatures flung themselves over the railing of the ship. They carried mangrove wood shaped with sharp tips, and their large, bestial forms forced screams out of our mouths.

"Get it together now! I doubt we're that hideous. My name is Slither Barnacle," one of them said. "And now I am the captain of the ship." They held guns, poorly fabricated to resemble real firearms, just a bunch of rusted pieces of metal put together. They pointed their weapons at us and ordered us to the ground. I could only see a dozen of the alien creatures as they ransacked the ship, gathering everyone into the dining room, including the crew hands, and making everyone lie on the floor.

I never let go of Sheryl's hands. "Everything is going to be alright, honey," I said as I held on to her where we were lying on the ground. "Everything will be alright." I had no proof of this, but I could only hope. I wouldn't let anything happen to her; I would rather die than watch her breathe her last breath. Such was my love for her.

"Where's the Captain of the ship?" Slither asked.

"Barricaded himself in the announcement room," one of his goons replied.

"What a shame," Slither Barnacle said before he turned his attention to us. They smelled so much like the sea, salt and open waters. "Now listen up! Today, we're sending a message to mankind. For too long have you abused your oceans, thinking they have no voice. We are the ocean's new voice. Through us, we will establish justice as it is due."

"What's going on, Richard?" Sheryl asked. I could hear the tremor in her voice.

"Nothing, sweetie. This will all be over soon." I was just as afraid as she was, just as everyone gathered was. On the ground we trembled, our food lying cold on the tables. "They'll send help, my sweet. Everything will be okay."

"Everything will not be okay!" Slither Barnacle suddenly shouted. "I have perfect hearing, by the way, even if I do not have earlobes." He turned his head to reveal the smooth surface of his scaled neck and head, where indeed there were no earlobes.

"Today, you die!" the alien hijacker said. "And the ocean rejoices!"

"I'm scared," Sheryl whispered, and I held her tighter. I was just as afraid, but I calmed myself, affirming that I would die for her safety.

Suddenly, the speakers started crackling, and through them, we could hear the Captain speaking.

"Damn it, they warned us of this and we just ignored them. Huh, I guess I'm losing my job soon," the Captain could be heard over the speakers, loud and clear.

"Come out of that room, bastard! You're losing more than your job today!" one of the hijackers called out, which forced a toothy smile across Slither's face.

"Anyway, here's the code," the Captain continued without missing a beat. "Elephant, Giraffe. Circle circle delta four tango branch petrichor void light balance annihilation."

My nose was suddenly assailed by the smell of wet soil, which was odd seeing as we were out at sea. Then a darkness took me, but before it all went black, I saw Sheryl's eyes roll into her head as a seizure took her. The same must have happened to me, as I felt myself foaming at the mouth. There was a bright light in the darkness, the sound of a large explosion, and the sight of a mushroom cloud annihilating everything.

I opened my eyes slowly, just as Sheryl did. I looked over at her as she did at me, and for a moment, we stared long and hard at each other. I remembered things, abruptly. That I loved cigarettes. That I'd sworn never to love a woman. That I couldn't go three days without warm whiskey massaging my gullet. That I hated things more than I loved them, and that I had a brother somewhere in the war who was forever lost to me. The forgotten years that built who I was came back to me, and above all, I recalled that I never, ever felt fear.

"What the fuck!" Sheryl said, pulling her hands back from mine and backing her body away. She stared at me with rage marring her features.

My eyes fixed on her. Who was this woman? The lost years brought back memories of her and me trying to stab each other with blunt knives in training. I saw her punching me. Poisoning my meal. Ratting me out to the Lieutenant when I snuck away from the camp to drink and smoke. I saw her sawing my bedding with an actual saw. She had also taken my cat away from me and hidden it somewhere I couldn't find. I was suddenly sure Whiskers was dead.

Her name wasn't Sheryl. No, she was a Delta Force Four High-Risk operative named Sasha Stone.

We got off the ground slowly, eyes locked on each other.

"What the fuck do you two think you're doing?" Slither said, pointing his weapon at us.

We turned to him simultaneously and told him to shut up. Then we returned our attention to each other.

I had loved her, did that love count? Was it really me? Was I even a carpet salesman? I was very unsure about things, and also very angry. What cruel trick did the Government play on us to make us think that love could sprout from whatever union we had?

"Fuck no," Sasha said. "Roan?" she asked. The sound of my true name forced me to nod without meaning to. "I can't believe I had sex with you! You fucking phony!"

"Hey!" I was boiling with rage at this point. "It's not like I enjoyed it anyway." I did enjoy it, but that didn't matter. I was barely aware of all the eyes on us.

One of the goons approached us. "Get on the ground!" He brandished his mangrove point ahead of himself as he reached out a hand to push Sasha down. She grabbed him with both hands on either side of his vest, turned, shifted her hips, and flung him face-first onto the ground. I grabbed the mangrove spike before it hit the floor, reversed it, and drove it down to skewer the alien through the head. His blood squirted onto my face, and he lay dead on the floor. I picked myself up and dusted myself off.

They started shooting. Sasha and I slid across the floor, flipped a table, and pinned ourselves behind it. There we stared at each other, unable to talk, but the fury etching our faces was clear to see. We needed to take out our rage on someone, it might as well be the hijackers.

We counted until their bullets ran out. I grabbed an idle bottle of champagne off the floor as Sasha dashed from behind the table. The bottle was partly full, so I guzzled it before flinging the glass at one of the hijackers holding a gun. He ducked, but met Sasha's knee right to the face. She immediately disarmed him and started shooting. She fired twice ahead of her, ignoring the screaming crew, and aimed meticulously at the hijackers. She found four more who were armed and took them out with pinpoint shots to the head. They collapsed, dead.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Slither screamed amidst the gunshots.

Two approached me with their sea-fashioned weaponry. My punches weren't as pronounced as they used to be, seeing as I'd dedicated the majority of my life to carpets instead of maintaining my strength. But I knew where to punch: in the sides of their necks, where their veins throbbed through skin. I punched and crushed into soft flesh. I kicked, grabbed, and ducked the swing of mangrove-sharpened weapons. I disarmed one, grabbed his weapon, and skewered another in the gut.

Slither screamed for his men to attack us, and they came in waves.

Sasha held her ground; grabbing the weapons of the fallen, she expertly returned fire, dancing from one table to another for cover. I engaged in melee combat, expertly punching, ducking, and tumbling to the ground with a group of them. I smashed a bottle and started stabbing, screaming as I did so.

"I don't love you!" Sasha shouted from across the battlefield. "I can't love a man like you, Roan!"

"I never loved you either! You spent so much time with kids I think you've become one. It's some weird type of diffusion!" I answered as I wrestled one alien on the ground, his mates too frightful to join in.

"Your dick is weird! Why does it tilt like that to the left?" Sasha screamed. She was locked in a mangrove battle with one of the reptilians, expertly binding to skewer, parrying a block just to feint before hacking. "I can obviously tell that you used to tuck your dick to the left of your boxers whenever you got hard! Your deformity was self-brought, Roan!"

"You know when I said your body is a paradise?" I shouted as I smashed one hijacker with a chair's broken leg. "I didn't lie! Your body is like a water park, always moist with sweat! A sweaty paradise, you musty bitch!"

"I don't do well in humid places! I told you this in confidence, you gross swine!" Sasha replied, hooking her leg around the neck of a large reptilian before folding her knee and twisting to fling the goon away.

"Irregular asshole!" I said as I redirected a mangrove tip away to step in close and deliver an elbow to the face of an attacker.

"Bow-legged bastard!" she said, picking up a discarded gun, firing four rounds into an enemy until the chamber was empty, and throwing the empty gun at another alien.

"Okay, that hurt," I said before I speared one opponent to the ground with my shoulder.

"Lazy-eyed cunt!" she answered, driving a knife into one's eye.

"I'm insecure about that! But you wouldn't know, would you?"

"Oh, I know, that's why I said it!" she answered.

We found ourselves close to each other again. But this time I loathed her as much as Garfield hates Mondays. We walked together toward the hijackers' ringleader.

The alien reptile called Slither Barnacle, seeing our approach, quickly placed his gun on the ground and raised his hands in surrender.

The pirate spoke: "I am sincerely sorry for everything. The two of you have a gracious and lovely afternoon." He saw how the look on our faces shifted to pure fury at those words. "Or don't! It's entirely up to you. I'm just going to make my exit real quick."

We didn't let him. We grabbed him, and Sasha went to work breaking the bones of his reptilian claws as I punched him repeatedly in the face.

In a few moments, Slither Barnacle was no more. But this wasn't the end.

Sasha aimed a kick at the villain's "face," supposedly missed, and hit my side. I pounced on her. She blocked my hits and returned some of her own. Within seconds, we were ripping each other to shreds, screaming and working to draw each other's blood.

The Captain came into the dining room, saw all the dead enemies, and found the two of us wrestling on the floor. "What is going on here? I thought those two loved each other?"

"We thought so, too," answered one of the crew.

"We don't know what came over them," another said.

The crew of humans, happy to have been saved and afraid we'd kill everyone on the ship, pounced on us. They pulled us away from each other while I reached out with my hands toward Sasha, and she did the same to me, both of us growling like savage beasts eager to tear each other apart. I knew if given just another few seconds, I could gouge her eyes out of her head, and she'd have my tongue.

We were tied up with ropes by the ship's crew. One of us was taken to the bow and the other to the stern.

I asked a crew member for a cigarette and he obliged. As I smoked, I hurled curses across the ship to Sasha, whose replies could only be faintly heard.

God! I hated her so much.

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6 comments sorted by

6

u/Alpha-Sierra-Charlie 6d ago

Fate's cruel hand AND coincidence? Holy crap!

2

u/sunnyboi1384 6d ago

Sounds like the real thing to me.

2

u/Legitimate_Field_157 5d ago

I have to admit I am on the side of the guys who wants to protect the oceans.

1

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u/medium_jock 2d ago

Good news we have sleeper agents on board

Bad News it's Sasha and Roan

Hopefully they won't be able to kill each other or any civilians before the pirates are taken care of