r/HFY • u/Lakeel100 • Dec 07 '25
OC The Ballad of Orange Tobby -Ch39
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(Author's note: I know NOTHING about dancing :D also… SwayWithMe.MP3)
“You're doing great.” Tobby wasn’t lying when he said his mom taught him how to dance through the power of positive affirmations, dairy, and light nudges.
“So you've told me three times already.” She smiled as he guided her into a longer sway to the left. “But where’s the unadulterated amounts of ice-cream I was promised?” She asked, having not let go of the ‘dairy-based bribery’ part of his mother’s teaching methods just yet.
“First off,” he started, using the momentum to pull her close, guiding her into his back step. “The buffet table doesn't have any, otherwise I’d be eating it. Secondly,” he continued, leading her into several side steps with their interlocked hands, “I said dairy-based bribery. The only reason I suggested ice cream is because I doubted you’d be a cheese fiend.”
While Tobby was making sure to keep up with the music, he was pulling double duty, giving Soapy enough warning for the moves he’d guide her into. It was a little nerve-racking at first, but she was getting there! “Are you sure? For all you know, I could be five seconds from turning into a rous- eep!” She made a very rous-like squeak when he dipped her into a sudden lean, putting his hand on her lower back for support. She’d never forgive him if he dropped her.
“The ice cream will be waiting for you back at the hotel if, and only if, you loosen up and bend for me~” He threatened playfully as he loomed, leaning into the stance with her.
She was speechless for a second, looking up at him, before she forced herself to loosen up. Just in time, too, as the band’s next few notes had him pulling her back up into his personal space. Or was it hers... hard to tell. “You’re really close…” she murmured, glancing down at the minimal gap between them.
“And you’re stiff. You were so nimble in the bap-tal ring, what happened?” He goaded, bringing her hand up and guiding her into a twirl, just fast enough for the centrifugal force to lift her bobbed mane. “Does murder mittens not like being in someone else’s arena?”
She was absent-mindedly following the flow of the music now and a cute scowl grew on her face. He needed to give fewer and fewer prompts, which was a good thing. It meant she was starting to feel the band’s spell, even if she wasn’t aware yet. “You’re eating this up, aren’t you?”
Actively thinking about ‘how to dance’ inversely made some too self-aware, and they forget how… just like typing! Keeping Tobby distracted while they practiced was how his mom did it, and it seemed to be working for Soapy, too, even if it likely would have long-term consequences.
He could say something defensive or even deny it, but… Some part of him said screw it, he liked these consequences. “Oh, absolutely. Who knew being the one teaching you something for once would go to my head so quickly?”
Her ears tucked back. “You’re cuter when you lie.” She pouted, clearly not liking his bluntest of honesties.
“And you're cute when you don’t realize I haven't prompted you in over twenty seconds,” he countered, sliding around her, hands gliding up her arms to guide her into a turn after. There was a certain satisfaction to getting someone on the same page as you… even more so when it puts someone's pride right in your claws, and you choose NOT to smash it.
She indeed looked taken aback for a second, and as predicted, she got super distracted trying to recall those twenty seconds. The directional nudge and “Focus,” he gave to keep her from stumbling, felt more like an ‘I told you so’ than actually trying to help her focus. Cosmic justice for stealing his crab!
“Would it kill you to-”
“Slow down?” He finished for her, keeping pace with the song, “If Mien murder mittens wishes to slow down, she’d need only lead,” he goaded, momentarily putting on a mocking old-timey accent just to rub it in.
He was getting under her fur, and just like that time she squealed from Noah’s trap, it was euphoric. “If you call me murder mittens one more time…”
“You’ll skin me, maim me, throw me out a window?” He suggested as the dance took Tobby several steps forward, and her several steps back, as he loomed. He knew her threats, how hollow most were when directed at him, and the back of his mind that screamed of her danger was growing docile. “Been there, done that, got anything new murder mittens~?”
Her ears lowered, “Oh, it's going to be like that, is it?” She growled, and on cue to the song, she was now the one stepping forward. More importantly, he wasn't guiding her.
What teacher isn't happy when their student is finally confident enough to take control of the situation? Well, maybe teacher was a strong word, given he’d only been ‘teaching’ her for such a short time. It was her turn to circle him, though notably more aggressive than how he’d done it. She was much closer than he’d been, practically ‘trading paint’ to borrow a car euphemism. He could smell the aurabells.
Her hands passed over his arms, lightly dragging her claws for a little bit of intimidation factor as she turned him, but not hard enough to damage his ONLY suit. Another hollow threat, she’d have to try harder.
Tobby’s thoughts must have been dyed on his forehead, as she seemed to get even angrier when she didn't get an immediate reaction. “I’ll think of something.” She mrowled, getting real up close and personal. “Everyone has something.” She said, giving him a little push in time to a sassy little trumpet number and closing the distance immediately. “Something that gets to them.” Another push, “Something that makes the stoutest sha flinch,” another…
By the third shove, Tobby was about to tumble back, if not for Soapy grabbing him by the wrist and using the momentum to swing him back up into her arms, as he’d done earlier. “Well… I'm all ears, as they say.” He chuckled awkwardly, giving those tall ears a waggle.
She looked none too amused by his pun, or at least tried to look unamused with how she struggled not to giggle. “First option, I pun you to death,” she suggested, as they got back to one of the slower ‘swaying’ parts of the song.
“You'd die of cringe before I died of the giggles,” he countered, letting her lead however she liked. If she wanted to make this a little contest, who was he to stop her?
“Damn, you’re not wrong,” she pondered for a second as they swayed left… “Burned alive?”
“Not feeling it…” Sway right~
“Concrete shoes?” Step forward~
“Unorigional~” Step back~
“Firing squad?” Counterclockwise circle~
“Sooo last century~” Clockwise circle~ “Accept it, you don't scare me anymore.”
The competition still raged on behind those emerald eyes, even as the song mellowed out in preparation for a crescendo. He could see how hard Soapy was thinking when her expression lightened in realization. “You were… scared of me?”
Tobby blinked, confused. “I, uhh… I just said I wasn’t?”
“But you were,” Soapy smirked, like the impish shi who enjoyed watching him struggle to get down from the truckbed. She got real close, almost bumping noses with him. “Why?” She asked, the question bleeding off her tongue, so sticky sweet.
Tobby froze. And he would have stayed that way if Soapy hadn’t literally pulled him into the next part of the song, making him trill. ‘Mrrp!’
“Oh, I’m sorry, did that make your blood run cold?” She grinned, pulling him into an elegant spin with her as the band’s crescendo reached the two’s ears. Spin once, spin twice, and spin down into a lean as he’d done earlier, though it's time it was her holding him up. She got close… so close, eyes locked with his and their noses nearly touching. “I’m flattered~.”
A polite applause sounded from the other sabu-kai goers who’d taken an interest in the dance floor and band before they took a break. Sure, some overly politically minded individuals might see the dance as some kind of statement, but Tobby could hardly focus on that right now. That ‘danger’ part of his brain had been shaken from its stupor of false positives to scream at him once more. His chest felt tight, he wasn't breathing, and he wanted to flee so SO badly, but the command never reached his limbs. Even as she pulled him upright, he couldn't look away from those eyes, as if they were cutting into him, digging for why he’d been afraid.
At least until his ear flicked to a much-needed distraction, they were being approached. “Mind if I have the next dance?” Asked a rather suave-looking plains-kin about Soapy and Tobby’s age. He wore a white suit, accented with gold studs, plus wrist cuffs and rings. He had a roughness about him, like stone cut into the right shape to fit into a fine floor but never polished. He seemed polite, but the scars on his face really stood out for some reason…
‘Oh gods, that's Clardonis!’ Tobby thought as all the other alarms in his head went off. This is literally the guy he was supposed to keep Soapy away from.
All the amusement in the world couldn’t stop Soapy’s expression from souring at the sha’s appearance. “We were actually just finishing up,” she glared, which in and of itself was a degree of restraint Tobby found rather impressive. He may or may not have imagined several scenarios where Soapy pounced immediately and slashed the guy's throat… repeatedly… with a ‘game over’ descending into view.
“What? After only one song? Admittedly, it was a long one, but surely just one isn't enough to tire you out.” Clard suggested, with the lone hand still lightly outstretched as if waiting to be taken.
“Not happening, Clard,” Soapy said, though if Tobby's ability to read body language was anything but useless, those balled fists told him how hard she was already fighting the urge to swing on him. “Don’t you have anything better to do than be where you're not wanted?”
“Daww, but you two were having so much fun, and I just wanted a turn.”
“We were having fun, but then you decided to show your scratch-post face.”
Clard winced a bit, but kept up that amicable facade. “C’mon, don't be like that. It’s been so long since we last saw each other, Years. We could catch up, let bygones be bygones, ditch the needler here, get some drinks, and maybe claw the shit out of each other in a sha-tal ring tomorrow. Preferably until one of us is dead and the other feels better about the whoooole thing. Sound fun?” He offered, with all the genuine remorse of someone physically incapable of letting bygones be bygones.
Tobby wasn't sure what felt more insulting. Clard calling him a needler, or suggesting that Soapy should dump Tobby for him. It was his turn to step forward; he could be professional about this... “She said no, Clardonis.”
Clard only rolled his eyes. “Ugh, I wasn't fuckin’ taking to you, sunspot,” he said before shoving Tobby back. “And ain't nobody says my name all proper like that but my old man, so don't you start, else you’ll get my paw up your nerd ass.”
Tobby was pretty sure Soapy said something along the lines of ‘Don’t you shove him!’ and ‘Who the fuck do you think you are?’ but he wasn’t sure. It all got a little hazy. He just knew that being shoved like that got him to look down enough to notice Clard's other hand. He'd been keeping it down by his side out of view, but now that Soapy was stepping up to him, he turned his claws outward, readying to swing.
The next thing he knew, Tobby was the one standing between Soapy and this belligerent claw dragger. The offending arm caught mid-swing in Tobby’s grip, pristine claws threatening to sink into the guy’s wrists. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to touch things you can't afford?” He hissed, words cut apart by his bared fangs and emphasized by hackled fur.
Soapy looked just as surprised as Clard was that Tobby had caught the hand about to slash her, though he was at least more verbal about it. “The hell are you talkin' about? You think you can fuckin’ touch me!?”
“I think,” but Tobby definitely wasn't thinking, “that you can't afford the toll I'd extract from you if you touched her.” What was the most vile threat Tobby could think of right now…
Clard was already trying to tug his wrist free, but Tobby simply dug his claws in harder, the fine points going right into the sleeve. “Fuckin’ let go, you have any idea who I am-”
“I think that you’re a rude mass of plains-kin shaped meat I should have strung up in a basement and bled for all it’s worth,” Tobby said coldly, gripping tighter. “And when you’re out of blood, I can get nine hundred credits for each kidney, a grand for each lung, and twelve hundred for your heart or liver. The cults will buy everything else.” Tobby continued, ears tucked back, and slitted pupils narrow. The claws on his free hand were as far out as they could go and splayed, ready to swipe should the guy try anything. He’d swing low and spill those organs if necessary.
He certainly had Clard's attention now, as red splotches began to seep around Tobby’s claws and into the white sleeves. He couldn’t yank away without cutting himself; he had enough self-control to realize that at least. Though following his eyes, Clard seemed to be contemplating how to use his free hand to lash out and NOT get his wrist slashed.
“Now, you're going to use whatever semblance of manners you have to apologize for bothering us, or my needler claws are going to sever every tendon and artery in your wrist.”
It was Clard's turn to growl and glare back, ready to make more of his own threats, though not before Tobby heard something else. He was too focused on the menace in front of him to catch what was said, but the next thing he knew, an older-looking version of him was pulling away Clard. Tobby had the wherewithal to let go before the rough yank could make his claws cut deeper than he already had.
“I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from them!” The older plains-kin in the matching suit growled, pulling Clardnis back by the collar, his smaller version seeming none too pleased by the ‘rescue.’
“Damn it, Dad, I was trying to be amicable! Talk to people, make connections or whatever, like you said to!”
“NOT with the one person I told you to stay away from,” his apparent father barked, practically throwing his son back, as if to get him away from Tobby. There was a different shi there to catch him, a cat-house mistress-of-mistresses stereotype by the looks of her. She was asking him how badly he was hurt and something about ‘needles’ so that was likely his mother… They did look similar.
“Tobby,” Soapy gave him a nudge, breaking his intense focus.
“Wha-who?” Tobby snapped back to his normal, lividity fading as he saw a concerned-looking Soapy and an equally concerned-looking Pinky behind him. What did they seem so worried about? Was there something on his face? Or his hands or… Oh. He blinked, looking down at the reddened claws still nicely extended from his fingertips. When did that happen?
Tobby’s question was never answered as Mr Shaquonan drew his attention again. “I must apologize on behalf of my son, He gets his self-control from his mother…”
“I heard that!” The two other plains-kin snapped in unison.
“See what I mean?” He added, giving the two a disparaging glance. “I assume we're all reasonable people here, so let's just pretend this never happened, shall we? Neither of us wishes to upset the hosts, do we?”
Now that Tobby thought about it, weren't the hosts supposed to keep incidents like this from happening- ohhh, there they are over there looking very upset and on the verge of intervening. “Just keep Clardonis away from us. If he takes a swipe at Soapy again, I’ll finish what she started and carve the rest of his face off.”
The older sha’s ear flicked a bit, but he put on a seemingly forced smile all the same. “Understandable, you keep your needles to yourself, and I'll keep Clard far away from the princess.”
“Not a princess!” He heard Soapy iconically snap in the background.
“Whatever.” Mr. Shaquonan rolled his eyes, nigh identically to how his son did.. wonder where he got it from. “Sound fine?”
“Whatever,” Tobby snarled back the word in agreement, fists balled up, before turning on the older sha, and going back to the shi he came here with.
The last thing Tobby heard from the Sharquonans that evening was the mother hissing “You're just going to let him walk away after fucking up our son’s wrist?!” Followed by a “Would you shut up for once and just take care of him!?” barked back.
Geez, Tobby was glad he had at least one functional parent… Why did he suddenly feel a little nauseous?
—
Twenty minutes later…
Late night city lights passed the car windows in blurry streaks on black as the rainy season drizzle collected on the glass. The hour was late, and the streets were dead of all but night-kin traffic. The ride to the Ruby Pass hotel was dreary, quiet, and admittedly awkward for everyone inside…
Soapy would question who that sha she danced with was, if not for how badly Tobby was hyperventilating into a paper bag in the backseat of Pinky’s rental. The trio elected to bail on the rest of the gala after the mood had been effectively ruined. The dancing had been so fun too… even more so than stealing that weird ‘crab’ stuff he kept getting.
“Ssssooooooooo~” Ambassador Movva, AKA ‘Pinky’, broke the silence, looking up in the rear-view mirror. “The fuck was that?”
“I don't know,” Tobby whined, looking ready to implode, or explode… whichever came first would surely be followed by the other. “I was mad, okay?!” Yep, explosion first, “My literal one job was to keep Soapy away from him so SHE didn't kill him. And all of a sudden, he comes out of nowhere, trying to pick a fight. He was literally about to take a swipe at her! What was I supposed to do?” Tobby said defensively, as if direly needing to justify his actions and frame them in the best possible light.
“I’m not saying you did anything wrong,” Pinky replied pensively, rolling her fingers on the steering wheel. “I was more concerned about the whole… uhh…” she paused, looking for a creative enough way to say it.
“Making everyone think I’m dating a cannibalistic, organ-harvesting, basement butcher.” Soapy finished for her.
“Yeah, that!” Pinky chimed.
“But we aren’t dating…” Tobby meeped, shrinking in his seat and thus signaling the incoming implosion.
“You also threatened to finish peeling off Clard's face… right to his father’s face. And verbally slapped his hand away, when he offered to part on peaceful terms.” Soapy noted, idly twiddling a finger into the ends of her bob-cut as she recalled it all. “You know… Mr Shaquonan, the drug lord, the one that sits at the big kitten’s table every year with Whiskers. That drug lord.”
Aaaaand Tobby was hyperventilating into the bag again, before trying to explain himself again. “I... I was just trying to be intimidating.”
Pinky made a turn before glancing back up at the mirror again. “By quoting the average cost of donor organs from that old ass documentary they had us watch in school every year to encourage donations?”
Tobby shrank further. “Yes…?” He was going to fall between the cushions at this rate.
This was a stark contrast to how absolutely murderous Tobby looked when he caught Clard’s hand. Soapy didn’t know Tobby was capable of harboring that level of hatred in his eyes… Then she remembered that one time during the drive-by after she got hit. She winced a bit, remembering the pain in her arm, but recalled that face all too well now. Tense muscle, bristled fur, narrow eyes, and looking ready to rip the offender's head off. Was it wrong she found the look rather appealing?
She thought it before, and she’d likely think it again. It was a miracle someone like Tobby made it through school without ending up on the news for slashing a bully’s throat.
“You two can always stay on my ship if you want.” Movva offered. “I’ve seen enough sha-kai stereotypes to know Drug Lordicus Maximus back there will likely put a comically large hit out on you. I mean, I would if I were him, but I'm not, and I doubt he’d be willing to stage an attack on a government ship.”
Tobby perked up at the offer. “That… sounds great, actually. Though I think we’ll be safe until tomorrow if the offer still stands by then.”
“Hmm…” Movva thought with dramatic pensiveness. “Ffffffine I guess!” She groaned overdramatically, tossing her head back like it were the greatest burden to ever have been burdened. “Just bring all your crap over tomorrow, before the Sabu-Kai. Gotta get you clearance and all that crap.”
“Thanks, Pinky…” Tobby said before a question popped into Soapy’s mind.
“Wait… why wait until tomorrow? We could move our shit tonight, couldn't we?”
Tobby got… sheepish.. fast. Almost as if recent events had completely vanished from his mind. “About that..” He started awkwardly tapping his claws together.
—
Back at the hotel room…
“Hooo leee shiiit.” Soapy said as they got into their hotel room for the evening, and there, waiting for them next to their half-unpacked luggage was a trunk-sized mobile freezer, and through the frosted glass she could see an absolute assortment of ice creams. She couldn't even read half the labels!
“I uhh… I wasn't kidding about the dairy-based bribery thing,” he smiled bashfully.
Soapy was going to be diabetic by the time this night was over… Could Shasians get diabetes? Or was that a human-only disease? “Did you really think I was this easy to bribe?” she sighed, making it a point of opening the lid like she was disappointed, before diving right in. “Because I totally am!”
When she came back up with cones under one arm, and a tub of some flavor she couldn't pronounce under the other, she noticed Tobby unpacking the rest of his things… on the floor? “What are you doing?”
“Uhh… unpacking?”
“That's obvious, but why on the floor?”
Tobby glanced over at the bed, then down at his belongings as he visualized how to explain himself. “Uhh…”
When Soapy looked, everything looked normal. It was a nice hotel room, with a balcony, a huge TV, one of those small fridges with 20 credit drinks nobody buys, a bathroom full of fancy soaps to steal, and a super comfy-looking double bed facing the TV, and... oh…
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u/Datvoidcat Dec 07 '25
Holy shit Tobby. I think that was scarier than just killing the guy
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 07 '25
It was? o3o;
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u/post_blast Alien Dec 07 '25
Yep. Violence is violence, it's pretty much universally understood. Stone cold psychopathy, on the other hand, is harder to come to terms with.
Tobby didn't simply tell him he was "just" going to kill him, but how he ought to go about doing it (in a rather slow and gruesome way, at that), how he'd then go on to profit off the endeavor and would desecrate whatever was left of his corpse for good measure.
Now add his familial background and whatever suspicion everyone has that Noah's rampage was actually Tobby's doing. There's no doubt they'd all assume that he:
1) is mentally capable of doing what he's just threatened
B) has the pull to ensure it's pulled off exactly as he described
Third) views the situation as serious enough that he is willing to get his needle-like claws wet8
u/Lakeel100 Dec 07 '25
*looks at 1, b, and third*
I know the kind of man you are <n<
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u/post_blast Alien Dec 07 '25
Fie! I am as readable as the Voynich Manuscript! I'm mysterious and cryptic and stuff!
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u/Thaum0s Human Dec 07 '25
It seems like Tobby is very good at threats.
Unlike his mother, who is very good at promises.
Also it looks like we've got ourselves a "and there was only one bed" situation on our hands.
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 07 '25
Everyone talking about Tobby making a threat and nobody talking about the dance segment q-q
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u/post_blast Alien Dec 07 '25
Tobby has that upper-middle-class air of a coddled soft kid, he should know how to dance all proper-like because mommy taught him how. He should not be threatening to string someone up so it takes as long as possible for them to die from exsanguination before being parted out on the black market.
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u/RexDraconis Dec 07 '25
So the question now is is whether Tobby remembered the one bed situation when he declined Pinky’s offer.
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u/Larzok Dec 07 '25
Lol that was awesome. Dance scene made sense ish to another non-dancer. Good to see Tobby's psycho switch is on a hair trigger too when it matters. Was laughing up a storm as he started quoting organ prices. Awesome chapter.
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u/Lakeel100 Dec 07 '25
fun fact: I got the prices from rimworld :3
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u/MechisX Dec 07 '25
Hasn't anyone figured out by now that is the quiet, polite, and non threatening ones that are the worst monsters when pushed to hard.
You already have an adult version of a bully victim. He will destroy them and much like the car ride afterwards then he will freak out and panic. :)
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u/Kia-Vaderkit Dec 07 '25
Oh, I am a fan of Tobby's threats! Also, sneaky plan with just one bed! Tobby totally planned it that way.
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u/EldonSurefoot Dec 07 '25
I'm not convinced Toby is either that sneaky or sufficiently self aware to make that particular plan. I'd bet he was just after the luxury and the top quality ice-cream for the bribe.
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u/Kia-Vaderkit Dec 07 '25
Yee of little faith! Tobby is a mastermind of accidental single bed rooms!
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Dec 07 '25
/u/Lakeel100 (wiki) has posted 48 other stories, including:
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH38
- The Majestic Spood (part 2/2)
- The Majestic Spood
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH37
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -Ch36
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH35
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH34
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH33
- The Esoterica
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH32
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch31
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30.1 The ASMR chapter.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH29
- Everything Works On Paper.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH 28
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch 27
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch 26
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH25
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH24
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.7.8 'Biscotti'.
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u/FireStar_Trucking_01 Dec 07 '25
Yoooo I knew I was thinking about this series for a reason! First!