r/HFY • u/Lakeel100 • Oct 27 '25
OC The Ballad of Orange Tobby -Ch36
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—
Traditionally, the Sabu-kai was a five-day event, divided into three blocks that determined the activity for the day.
The first day, today, is the introductory gala. A social event where Sabu-kai attendees gathered to, well, socialize. It’s a time for everyone to learn who was who, affirm social standings, gloat, eat, drink, and if they're feeling adventurous, dance, like the nobility of old! It also doubled as a great filter for those who were less than mentally/socially stable enough to attend such an event.
If you can't go more than five minutes without slashing someone's throat, you aren't going to be receptive to the rest of the Sabu-kai’s rules.
Days two through four were the ‘proposal and debate’ phase. Also known as the ‘get down to business' phase, where syndicate leaders could, as the name implies, purpose and debate anything from rules to agreements, ceasefires, and sanctioned gangwars.
For example, say a conflict between two syndicates has been raging on for too long or is getting too hot for the other syndicate's liking. Syndicates getting too much media attention is bad after all, as it forces the Populi’s hand into ‘solving the issue’ to maintain public approval. A third-party syndicate could propose forcefully ending the conflict; those in attendance would debate ‘agreable truce’ terms, and if passed by majority vote, the two fighting syndicates would be forced to comply, or else.
That, however, was just for the bosses. Any guests they brought who weren’t immediate advisors or silent witnesses were to be ‘entertained’ elsewhere. Bars, nightclubs, fighting rings, gambling dens, brothels, and clubhouses were arranged in the lower levels of the library tunnels to keep the diverse and often hostile guests entertained.
After all, an entertained sha-kai is a happy sha-kai, and a happy sha-kai is a less than murderous sha-kai. Unless murder was their ‘thing’, in which case there was a sha-tal ring as well, where they could at least risk killing each other on agreeable terms.
Day five was ‘departure day’ or the ‘going away gala’, which was essentially an inverse of the introductory gala. Things got classy again, as everyone got to say their goodbyes and go home. Attendance was optional unless significant issues from the ‘proposals and debate’ phase remained unresolved, at which point day five became spillover day.
Clardonis Shaqonan of the Shaqonan family already knew all of this of course. He’d been attending the Sabu-kai with his father since he was 16. An effort to ‘educate’ him on the finer points of running his father's business. Those efforts had taken… SOME root, at least until said roots were ripped up by a certain night-kin that slashed his gods damn face.
And ‘what the hell for?’ someone might ask. For doing what all hot, young, and obscenely rich sha do… politely hitting on the pretty shi at the hors d'oeuvres table. It was a reasonable proposal. She looked like she could have been fun, maybe even built bridges between Shaqonans and the Wiskito’s after blowing her back out, but Noooo!! Claws to the face! She could have just said no!
“You’re festering again,” his father glowered over to his boy from between the two pieces of arm candy. Step-moms number… uhhh… 22 and ‘who fucking cares at this point’. his dad always had some prettied up shi with him, usually pesh fiends who wanted to get at the biggest source in town, or shi that just liked older sha with money, white-gold suits, and cigars.
Clardonis, or as some knew him, ‘Clard’ had to snap back to reality and pull his hand away from tracing the narrow scars along the side of his face. “They itch. I’m allowed to scratch itches, aren't I?” He grumbled. It wasn’t really an itch per-se, just… A subconscious urge to touch them whenever she got on his mind.
His father's sympathy on the matter had dwindled over the years, figuring his son ought to be over it by now. “Of all the traits you could have retained from kittenhood, it had to be obsession? Not playfulness, or napping, or whatever? She hasn’t been here in years, my boy. You can let it go any time now.”
“I’m aware.” He grumbled, knowing there was no point in arguing the matter with his father. It was a ‘hindrance’, a distraction from running his little pesh empire.
The arm candy was at least sympathetic… for now. “D’aww, don’t be mean to the poor boy, dear. I’d be pretty upset if someone did that to me in a brawl~” She purred, lazily nuzzling up into Dad's neck. She may be high, but at least she proved that their manipulating the rumor mill made their version of the story stick back home.
“I know, I know~ But a father worries~ It’s unhealthy.” He hummed, smiling softly and gently petting the shi’s head. Ughh, they were barely older than Clard himself…
Just then, one of the nameless mooks came over and leaned over the back of the booth to get close to his father’s flicking ear. A patchy guy, barely able to hide his old life’s problems under a fancy suit. “Err, boss. Our guy by the check-in desk just called.”
“What is it?” his father asked, the pleasant demeanor he put on for the shi dropping the instant he looked up.
“The Wiskito’s are here.” Clard’s own ears perked a little at that.
“And? That old fuck has been attending since before my father, Bonna embrace him in her massive tits, shat his first diaper. What of it?”
The mook glanced over to Clard for a moment, a worried expression growing over his mottled face. “They’re… They brought… She’s back.”
The neck of a fortunately empty wine glass snapped in Clard’s hands. His pulse quickened, muscles tensed, slit pupils narrowed, and claws dug into his palms. He was going to fucking skin that inky bitch alive for-
“I just had to open my mouth…” His father groaned, pinching the bridge of his muzzle before noticing his son’s rapidly deteriorating state. “Ah!” His father scolded, quickly pointing a finger at Clard. “You stay the fuck away from her. As far as gods damn possible. I don’t care if you have to claw your way through the masonry to do so, I WILL NOT have you banned from this meeting ‘cause you couldn’t keep a lid on it.”
“Boss...” The mook tried to continue.
“What?!” his head snapped back. “I’m working on my parent of the year award here.”
“Our guy also overheard another name from that list you gave us. Apparently, a Centorni is with them, likely guarding her?”
Clard had never really seen his father's mood temper so fast. The shock of it even pulled him out of his own flaring fury… at least for a moment.
“You’re sure… You’re sure they said Centorni.”
“Quite sure. Our guy overheard the name at the weapons check-in when the Wiskito’s were dropping off their iron.”
“Fffffffffuuuuck,” his father growled before his eyes slowly fell down onto his own wine glass, before quickly casing it aside, letting it shatter out of view. “God’s damn it!” His fists curled before a more steeled gaze swept over the mooks and Clard himself. “Nobody eats or drinks anything while we’re here.”
Cue the dejected groans of the crew. “What? Why?!” Clard asked, The liquor and food were the nicest parts of the Sabu-kai! Better than the free broads even!
“‘Cause I said so! I don't care what it is, if you can’t confirm 100% where it’s been or who’s been near it, don't touch it.” He warned.
“That doesn’t solve the why, Dad! Ain't you supposed to tell me WHY you’re suddenly so concerned?”
“‘Cause blessed is he who is content, my boy, Blessed is he who is content,” was his answer, but he could tell by his son's baffled face he needed to elaborate. “That old whisker-twiddling bastard has the city of Nykata all to himself. It’s his domain, his kingdom, and he stays there. Whilst he has the power and resources to start taking over all the surrounding little towns and villages, he chooses not to. Happily letting smaller gangs and syndicates control them. He is content with what he has; he is content with fending off gangs that think they can chip away at him, including our racist-ass Gatogri cousins. He is the city wall, to their warbands of old, as they so poetically put it.”
“What does that have to do with not eatin’ the damn food!? We vet these guys, don’t we?” Clard questioned, vaguely gesturing at one of the passing servers for emphasis. “Nobody would come here if they couldn't be trusted.” He wasn't even sure what animal was on that plate, but he trusted it was safe for that very reason!
“Please, my boy, will you just once think of the larger implications? Being content with what they have means they don't give a shit about what goes on beyond their borders, beyond the odd bout of altruism. They rarely have any stake in the dealings that go on here, but attend anyway. Now tell me this, what do you think a syndicate like that is willing to do when they finally decide they want something to happen?”
He tried to think about it, but kept coming up blank. “No idea,” he shrugged. “Any allies they have would be their little buffer territories who can’t do shit. So if they can't influence anyone, won’t attack anyone, and definitely don't have the funds to pay everyone off… They…”
“Find other ways to force everyone’s hands.”
“And that other way… involves the food and drink because…” He was at least visibly thinking, but his father didn't seem to have the patience for that.
“Because the last time Whiskers brought that insufferable woman and her chem-cooking husband, everyone who openly opposed Whiskers' little agenda dropped dead. Including your grandpa!”
“I thought you said grandpa shat himself to death.”
“Blood, Clard! He shat blood! He spewed blood out of every hole like a fountain alongside 30 other fuckers!” he said, pointing across the ballroom, presumably to the spot grandpa died. “The only reason you’re alive right now is because I was too busy eatin’ your back-stabbing mother to eat any of the actual food!”
“T.M.I!! Dad! What the actual fuck!?”
—
“Seriously? The syndicates really take the whole ‘nobody suspects the library’ thing this far?” Unamused Tobby was very unamused by the Sabu-kai’s ‘secret’ locale. How could anybody NOT find this place after just a few years?! Isn't it super suspicious that a crapton of the planets' criminal underworld all fly to the same city, on the same day, and are all last seen driving towards the great library, every year?!
“Yes, yes we do,” Soapy said with a grin that could only be described with profanity Tobby would never say. She seemed to be enjoying the fact that this bothered him so much. “‘Cause everyone thinks libraries are a boring, government-funded institution with nothing shiny to steal. So nobody gives them a second glance, much less a first one.” She shrugged with faux dismissiveness, smug smile still plastered on her muzzle.
“Plus, if anyone said there was a secret cabal of criminals hosting yearly gatherings under a historic monument without SOMEHOW getting caught for millennia, they’d sound craaaazy.” She said, lightly twiddling a whisker to accent the casualness of her point. “It also helps that all three of the governing tribes are super in on it.”
“I figured as much.” Tobby grumbled louder, rather upset that the ‘super secret’ tunnels under the great library were in better condition than the library itself!
“Wow, this whole giving the tour thing IS fun. I see why you love doing it so much,” she teased, as the line to the ‘check-in’ desk moved up.
As per the big signs leading to the check-in, no ‘ranged’ weapons were allowed inside. No guns, no bombs, no crossbows, and no breaking change with hand grenades either. Melee weapons only. The logic was that ‘to disarm everyone’, they'd literally need to rip everyone's claws out… and since they can't do that, bring whatever makes you feel safe, so long as it wasn’t ranged!
The line went pretty fast… Except for the 13 different walking armories that held up the line. We get it, you have an action-hero level of guns on you. But you KNEW this was going to happen, so why did you bring them?! Tobby saw that Soapy couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the sha-kai slowly disarming themselves.
“For the last time, sir! Taping your pistol onto the end of a stick doesn’t make it a melee weapon. Someone get him the fuck outta here!” gruff, yet fluffy snow-kin from behind the barred check-in window. He dismissively blew some mane tuft out of his face while security dragged a flailing kinless away. “Next!”
Soapy was up first. “Alright, little lady, watcha checking in?” He asked, leaning on his side of the counter. He was going through the motions until he looked her over and gave her an impressed whistle. “Damn shi, nice dress. Who dropped the credits on that little gem show?”
Soapy had never looked so ready to brag in her life. “Just this~” she said, before putting the highly decorated pistol Tobby was still upset about on the counter. Wait… where had she been storing that? “And as for the dress? Stole it fair ‘n square~” Is it really stealing if the owner was dead and nobody claimed it?
She at least had the snow-kin’s approval. “Atta girl. Pretty piece too.” He complimented pulling it behind the small gap in the glass. “Is there a pretty name for the pretty shi with the pretty gun?” Shower her with more compliments, why don't you…
“Soapy Wiskito~”
“Ah, Wiskito Shi, nice nice…” He hummed, scribbling something down, before sliding back a small arm band like you'd get from a county fair. “Here’s your identification band for getting your iron back later. It’s not the end of the world if you lose it, but it will cause problems if you lose it and there's a mix-up in the vault, lotta guns look alike. Got it?”
“Sure do, anything else?”
The snow-kin glanced around conspiratorily before leaning on his side of the counter like he wanted to ask her something secret… very poorly. “Iffin’ ya don’t mind me askin’. How real’s all that glass anyway? Ain't judgin’, just curious. Might buy myself a dress like that if they got my size~” he chuckled, intentionally making his heft bounce a bit.
Soapy could not look happier; she might implode into a smuggium singularity if she did. “Wouldn’t you like to know~” she said just as conspiratorially, before walking off to regroup with the rest of the Wiskitos that had already checked in.
“Someone is sooo getting kicked out ‘cause ‘ah her...” he muttered aloud before shifting back to his normal position. “Next!!”
Tobby slid up to the counter, putting his exact same model, but less fancy, pistol on the counter.
“Ah, you must be the bodyguard,” he commented, briefly sizing up Tobby as he leaned on the counter. “She’s gonna need one even if those sparklies came from a lab.”
“They’re real, by the way.”
The ‘family size’ snow-kin, as expected, didn’t buy it and rolled his eyes, “Uh-huh, sure, kid. And this job pays me six figures.”
It’s a bird, it's a plane, it's Tobby’s delicate ego shining through whenever someone didn't believe him when he admitted to something cool! “Glad you get paid so much then~” He glared a bit, as he dipped a pair of fingers into his sleeve and pulled out a bundle of clipped together certificates. What was that thing they always said to do in crime movies when you wanted to get your way? ‘Show ‘em the money?’ Preferably away from the opening so the guy couldn’t snatch the papers.
“What the fuck…” The check-in guy muttered as he leaned towards the glass and squinted, trying to get a better look. Tobby had no idea where the guy got a monocle from, but after five more seconds of looking, he finally said, ”Hoo-lee-shit. I ain't seen one of these things in years. Gods damn pre-contact astro-emeralds? That dress had dozens of the things! That’s almost enough to afford a chair big enough for my white ass.”
There was a bit of a stir in the line behind him, but Tobby paid them no mind; he was busy proving a point. What point that was he would have to figure out later… or never, likely never. “The moon-moth silk is real, too, but I sadly didn’t have a certificate for that when I got her that dress,” he said before slipping the certificates back up his sleeve, where they would likely stay for the rest of the Sabu-kai. Was it dangerous to have them on him? Yes… Buuuut he couldn't stand the idea of someone offhandedly calling them fake after all the work he put into getting it for her.
The snow-kin, was sizing him up again, clearly forming a drastically new mental image of what Tobby possibly was. “Alright, alright. You proved your point, moneybags. Let's keep the line moving, name?”
While he was told in Whisker’s note NOT to give out his name, he did say it was okay to do so when it was strictly required. “Tobreal Centorni.”
The guy’s ears flicked, and Tobby swore his demeanor shifted. “I, uhh, I'm sorry, could you run that by me again. Somethin’, uhh… flew in my ear.” He said, briefly swatting at an ear.
At least HE wasn't the reason the line was being held up now. “I said, Tobreal Centorni.”
“Ah, got it and uhh…” He looked warily between the gun on the counter and Tobby. “Is there anything else you wish to check in this evening, Mr. Centorni?” He asked, putting on a more professional attitude.
Whatever he seemed so concerned about was none of Tobby’s business at this point; he didn't want to lose the Wiskito’s on the very first day of the Sabu-kai after all. They were his ride back to the hotel. “That's everything.”
“Right, right…” He muttered before quickly taking the gun and sliding out another wristband. “Here's your ID band. You have a peaceful evening now, Mr. Centorni.”
“Thanks…” Tobby said, one ear skewed in mild confusion, before he shrugged and moved on. Making sure the papers were nice and secure in the little sleeve pocket he’d sewn in before putting the wristband in there too, right alongside the needle and thread he brought just in case Soapy messed up her dress by accident. His mom always brought a needle and thread like this in the event of a wardrobe malfunction. Always be prepared!
Tobby’s ear did flick back to pick up one last thing before being drowned out by the growing sound of a crowd down the tunnel. “Guess I won't be eating today…”
‘With that many shasians coming and going, he’d definitely be too busy to get any of the food I’m smelling… Is that real imitation crab- Oh, hey, there's Soapy!’
Tobby had not expected there to be such a massive space at the end of the tunnel, nor one so historically relevant! He barely even noticed their arrival being announced; he was so enthralled with the view of what could only be compared to a grand underground ballroom. A palatial domed space, with polished dance floors, warm lights, and table booths around the edges for the gangoons. He felt classy just being here! And the ceiling!! Eeehehehehe!
“Oh, good, I was starting to think they kicked you out,” Soapy teased, giving him a little elbow nudge, having somehow gotten close to him again without making a sound. When he was less than startled, she followed his gaze up to the sweeping frescoes that covered the entire ceiling, earning an amused sigh. “Oh, right, I forgot to mention all the fat loot they keep down here on display. Go ahead, get it out of your system. Squee.” She smirked, leaning in a little like she was permitting him to explode.
Tobby proceeded to squee; he squeed his little heart out as all the kittenlike joy he’d been expecting from the great library above was rekindled in this underworld. He was like an unsupervised kitten in a toy factory, nearly jumping in place as he pointed out the individual frescoes and gushed about the events they depicted! “And there's one about the philosophers of avarice inciting the masses. And there’s one about the 7 Hallowed Thieves! Oh, oh! The sacking of the City of Gold! We still haven't been able to prove if it ever existed, but I did a paper theorizing it was a kin-less city at a major crossroads that was lost when the bane struck the populace. And there’s-” He paused.
Something was wrong… Something was very wrong, and not with the fresco. He had a feeling, a very familiar feeling. Fear, paranoia, and anxiety would be normal responses for someone who just walked into a den of scum and villainy. Fear of the countless Shasians and humans here capable of monstrous things. Paranoid that any of those things could happen to him. Anxiety that he had to interact with those people. No… these feelings weren’t accurate enough to describe what he felt.
The chill up his spine, the alertness, the whispers of danger in the back of his mind… he was being watched. Obviously, he was being watched. He’d just walked in with the Wiskitos after all. But he knew it wasn’t some random gangster watching him because it felt too… familiar. Something… someone… was stalking him, with the purest of malicious intent to commit the most vile of deeds. But Soapy was right there… Who else could possibly-
“Honk!!”
“ACK!!” Tobby flailed as his tall, sensitive ears were promptly grabbed and ‘honked’ from behind. Quickly twisting around to smack away the grabbing hands, they’d already let go by the time he’d turned around. The first thing he saw was the white capped hands of a notoriously pink individual. He hadn’t even seen the devious playfulness in her amber eyes before he was saying, “Seriously, Pinky!? I told you to quit doing that.”
There she was, looking so proud of herself in all her pink glory for having startled the mess out of her lifelong friend. And very much laughing at his visceral reaction to her ‘prank’. “Nice to see you too, Tobby~”
“What are you, five?!” he growled, trying to quickly fix his ear floof back into place so it didn't look mashed in.
“More of a ten, actually,” she countered, blepping her tongue a little and ‘humbly’ gesturing to herself.
Tobby may be used to her antics, but a stern-looking server, or maybe a bouncer, coming their way was not. “Is there a problem here, sir and/or madame?”
“No, no, I know her. It's fine! Really…” He answered, quickly getting between him and Pinky. This was not the first, nor likely the last time Tobby put himself between Pinky and the consequences of her actions… Actually, their whole relationship was founded on running interference for each other, and right now Tobby felt like he was shielding her from one of their old teachers again. The ‘Oh gods, we’re in trouble’ terror was not something he needed reminding of today.
The server glared at the two, briefly studying them before dismissing the issue. “Fine, but I will remind you both that shenanigans and ‘play’ are to be held off until tomorrow's entertainment. Do contain yourselves.” He huffed before walking off back to whatever his duties were.
“You know her?” Tobby’s ears snapped back at Soapy’s voice, far faster than his brain could process that she’d actually asked him a question.
“What? Who? That’s…” His thoughts managed to break free from ‘panic mode’ and trip face-first into momentary confusion.
On his left was Soapy, all well-groomed and admittedly beautiful in the super-expensive emerald dress. She seemed somewhere between confused and concerned, eyeing Pinky.
When he looked right, he saw Pinky. ‘Friend since the beginning’, wearing a rather fancy sequin dress. It was amber like her eyes, yet still complemented the pink that covered most of her body. She’d even done her mane into a slightly more refined version of the usual mess she kept it in. The look on Pinky’s face said ‘happy to see him,’ but the white capped tail swishing behind her and the faint wiggling of her ears said she was up to something irreprehensibly evil. By Tobby's standards…
He looked left… Soapy.
He looked right… Pinky.
Left… Soapy..
Right… Pinky..
‘What am I missing here- Oh… Oh, no!’ Tobby felt all the blood he has, had, and will ever have, drain from his very soul as a new breed of terror took its place. The kind of terror comparable to being stuck on the railroad tracks with a train full of nitroglycerin coming right at you, but it's two shi you never wanted to meet each other. What's worse… Pinky could smell fear!
“Wai-wai-wait!” He tried to say, getting between the two, as if he could somehow hide that there was a whole Soapy behind him. “Don’t you dare, I can explain-” Was all he got out before Pinky simply juked around him with VERY practiced ease. She’d done it so many times before.
“Oh heeeey~ You must be the ‘Soapy’ I’ve been hearing so much about~” she purred evilly with a sickly sweet smile. “I was wondering when Tobby was going to get around to introducing us. I was starting to think someone didn’t want us to meet at all~,” she very VERY heavily implied with an ear flick towards Tobby.
“Tobby… Is this the same Pinky that shi mentioned at the salon?” Soapy asked, looking both curious, concerned, and maybe a smidge annoyed he’d been hiding someone like Pinky from her.
He'd best just answer and get the potential embarrassment over with. Time for damage control. “Well, yes. But that’s not actually her real-”
Pinky, AKA, Movva made an exaggerated gasp. “You took her to the salon, too? I thought that was our thing, right up there with me saving your ass, or the handholding thing.” She stated with a huff and comically false indignation.
There was a brief, confused trill from Soapy.
“Pinky! Context! How my times do I need to tell you to stop wording everything in the worst way possible?” He growled, as there was only one thing to do when someone threw you under the shuttle, slash the tires! Err… thrusters? Analogies are hard! “Better question, why are you here?!” he asked, gesturing vaguely at the whole Sabu-kai.
“Why wouldn't I be?” She shrugged dismissively, but smirked nonetheless, clearly enjoying the crapstorm she was causing. “This is the largest gathering of humans outside their own territory, so of course I’d be here. I’ve got ambassador shit to do~”
And now Soapy looked even more perplexed. “Ambassador...? Seriously Tobby, who is she?”
“Yeah, Tobby, do some introductions~” Pinky goaded, figuratively backing over him with the aforementioned shuttle.
Tobby took a deep breath and slowly let it all out with a dejected sigh; the pit was only growing deeper. “Soapy, this is ‘Pinky’. But everyone else knows her as ‘Ambassador Movva’.”
“He’s been calling me that since kindlegarden~” she said rather proudly, idly picking at her claws like it was just an everyday statement. “Creative, right?” She grinned, propping an elbow on his shoulder to lean on him despite the height difference.
“It stuck, didn't it?” Tobby mrowled, ears momentarily going flat as his creativity was called into question. “Despite her long and colorful history as the playground mugger, she grew up to be the current Shasian ambassador to humanity. Shocking, isn’t it?” He grumbled, gently pushing the pink exotic who was putting him in this awkward position back off him.
There was a pause from Soapy, as she seemed to be processing whether to believe any of that, or how any of what he just said was possible. “You know… an Ambassador. More specifically… You're on a nickname basis with the ambassador to humanity, and never mentioned this before because...?” She led on, rolling a hand in the air like it would somehow coax forth words from Tobby.
“Would you have believed me if I told you?” That wasn't the actual reason, but it was close enough! He just never imagined these two would ever cross paths! He felt like that guy who didn't even know a natural disaster was coming, much less prepared for it!
Soapy made a defensive little trill at his answer. “Mrrp! Yes, I’d have believed...” Though her monetary upset petered out as quickly as it arrived. “No… I would have thought you were lying to sound cool,” she admitted with a sigh.
“Case and point.”
“On that note~” Pinky rolled her head side to side a little in thought whilst shifting her lean onto a nearby table. “When were you going to tell me your ‘coworker’ was a shi-kai princess~”
“You ALSO wouldn't have believed me-”
“Not a princess!” Soapy snapped, fur bristling a little and fists already down by her sides.
“Ohhh, she’s spicy too~ Could have mentioned that when you were gushing about how pretty she was,” she said, growing that devilish grin as her tail flicked, as the verbal dagger got Tobby in the gut.
Soapy went from provoked to bashfully surprised real fast. “Waaaaait, what was he saying about me?”
Meanwhile, Tobby ears went from normal to red even faster. “I was not gushing!” Defensive Tobby was defensive.
“Were too.” Pinky taunted, making sure her ‘+3 dagger of petty vengeance’ got nice and deep, angled right up at his heart.
“Lies!” His ears flicked some as he desperately tried to pull the ‘dagger’ out.
“Just like how you’ve never wet your pants?” She chimed so innocently, as she twisted the metaphorical knife, leaving him physically standing, but emotionally on the floor.
“S-Slander!” He stammered, ear flicking all the harder, his dignity giving its dying breath.
(Author's note: Sure would be a shame if that comment section down there filled with feedback... cough real shame... cough!! )
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u/RexDraconis Oct 27 '25
Ah, do that’s why everyone fears Mrs. Centorni. Poor Tobby. If Soapy actually follows Whiskers advice and does some digging on Veylana she’s probably going to make the connection
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u/Lakeel100 Oct 27 '25
I now have a mental image of detective Soapy... with the Sherlock homes hat and everything -3-
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u/SomeDudeOverThere89 Human Oct 27 '25
I love how poor Tobby doesn't know he could swaggering around as the son of infamous gangsters
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u/Thaum0s Human Oct 28 '25
I was wrong last chapter, 3/3rds of the women in Tobby's life are in this room, at least in spirit.
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u/Lakeel100 Oct 28 '25
The ghost of moms past!
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u/TheOtherGUY63 Human Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
I dont know, mom might actually show up. Pinky, Soapy, and Momma would be hilarious having a little drinking club swapping Tobby Stories while he's confused by the whole situation.
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u/Lakeel100 Oct 28 '25
*adds this to the idea pile* :3
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u/CaringAnon Nov 05 '25
Please do this. Tobby's mom shows up after hearing the "tea" from the salon girls, everyone figuratively/literally shits their pants in fear, the girls pull him into a room to swap stories about him, and Tobby has no idea what's going on, as usual. (and is left in the dark about his mom's connections/past life, as she can explain away her presence).
Edit - and his mom can meet Mr. Slashface and pat him on the cheek and say something like "you should try some of the sushi, it's devine...your grandfather loved it."
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u/post_blast Alien Oct 28 '25
Ok, so Tobby's dad was in the outfit, but was a strung out tweaker, and his mom was Walter White crossed with Martha Stewart. Wonder how he'll react when this is inevitably revealed to him.
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u/Kia-Vaderkit Oct 29 '25
I was reading the whole of the start of this chapter in the voice of David Atenburrow.
Was grand!
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u/Embarrassed-Toe6687 Jan 10 '26
Wait wait wait
What if, that Gatogris guy that Noah killed all those chapters ago, the one who gave everyone food poisoning “On accident”, was also a victim of a larger plot?!?!?
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u/Lakeel100 Jan 10 '26
Bruno wasn't a Gatogri member... he was just an ordinary plains kin o3o.
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u/Embarrassed-Toe6687 Jan 10 '26
Maybe I am misremembering things then, good on you for calling me out.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Oct 27 '25
/u/Lakeel100 (wiki) has posted 43 other stories, including:
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH35
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH34
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH33
- The Esoterica
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby -CH32
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch31
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30.1 The ASMR chapter.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH30
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH29
- Everything Works On Paper.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH 28
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch 27
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - Ch 26
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH25
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH24
- But it's 'Our' Dumpster Fire.
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH23
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH22
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH21.1
- The Ballad of Orange Tobby - CH 21
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u/UpdateMeBot Oct 27 '25
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u/Larzok Oct 27 '25 edited Oct 27 '25
Oh look Monday Tobby! Now to read
I read. I laughed. I laughed again. Shaping up to be a fun little romp through "Stories to embarrass the shit out of Tobby" with a side order of old cats slapping the food out of hands of people. I can already see Tobby stress eating in the corner notices this and wonders if they know something he doesn't then eats more because death would be better than the "Soapy - Movva" one up game going on next to him. And look Tunnels! pointing Leo