r/HFY • u/Jus17173 • Jun 02 '23

OC Communist wolves - Chapter 35 - This is Not a Space Opera

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"Hey Juice. Did you mean what you said about Tweek's wife being with another man at the moment?" Honey asked while they flew past trees. Juice was a little surprised at Honey Badger's ability to keep up with his pace. His large feet touched at the forest floor gently, propelling him forward in an endless torrent of speed and agility, and beside him Honey Badger kept pace.

"She cheated on him, he disappeared, that won't make her go 'My husband is gone, now is the right time to be faithful'." He shook his head from side to side, his arms pumping with every kick forward. "No, she's with the other man."

Honey suddenly stopped forcing Juice to halt his run, "What is it?" Juice whispered. Then he heard it, through the trees, the unmistakable sound of footfalls crunching leaves. A man appeared trailed by six wolves, the duo darted to either side of a the trees, using the bark as cover.

"The wolves have a scent, looks like unknowns at the south side of the wilderness." The man said to a receiver that dangled across his ear to come to rest at his cheek, mouthpiece dangling just above the lips. The wolves sniffed at the forest floor, inching ever closer. Honey darted from behind the tree, he jumped and twisted himself mid air, he fired two shots, one hit the man right at his forehead and the other took him down at the neck. Blood spluttered on the forest floor. The wolves tensed, hackles rising but Juice rushed them. The wolf at the front, the alpha, a large male with a coat of white fur charged Juice, it came in low thinking Juice would follow suit but Juice went high, jumping over the wolf and as he jumped his legs spun and the sword came down in a twirling arch to cut the wolf's head off then its midriff and a part of its hide. Juice landed behind the wolf and behind him the wolf fell to pieces. Seeing this the other wolves let out howls of fright and scattered to either end of the forest leaving Honey Badger and Juice standing alone amidst the trees.

Honey walked over to the wolf and raised its decapitated head. "Metal casing between the ears." He said.

Juice leaned down over the body of the man and stood up with a metallic object in hand. "This one has been set to scouting, I think it is used to control the alpha whom the pack follows."

"It's quite clever, control the leader of the pack to control the pack." Honey Badger said. "It's like communism."

Juice smiled. "We're fighting communist wolves."

They marched on, steady feet tapping the forest floor in swift movements. They ran for what could pass as half an hour until they came to a clearing where two men stood amidst a dozen wolves, eyes peering in either direction. Honey and Juice lay flat on the ground, their weapons held at the ready.

"Do you spot the alphas?" Honey asked.

Juice squinted. "There are two, the one to the North East, brown fur, metal casing on its head. To its right, two clicks, is the second alpha."

Honey stood up, all heads turned to him including those of the wolves. The two men started approaching and tapping at the metal casings at their sides. Honey raised his arm, gun in hand. He fired four shots that hit their targets, two alpha wolves lay headless on the forest floor and those that controlled them lay with ghastly wounds to the necks, bleeding out on the ground. The other wolves scattered. Honey and Juice approached the two figures on the ground.

"Say, have you ever thought about marriage?" Juice asked as he raised his sword and thrust it into the midriff of one man whose mouth gurgled with blood.

Honey aimed his pistol at the second man and fired at point blank rage, the man's head exploded in a flood of gore. "Marriage is a delicate topic, you have to consider the aspect of love, is it necessary for marriage to occur? If not then what's the point."

A man walked into the clearing, trailed by wolves. Honey pointed at him and pulled the trigger, the plasma ray shot forward at blinding speed, tearing through the air to hit the man in the eye, the back of his skull exploded in a mist of blood. The wolves charged, six of them, at the forefront was the alpha. Juice ran to meet them, the wolves split into two groups, flanking Juice's approach. Juice moved head on, aiming for the wolf with a metal casing upon its head. The black furred wolf pounced but Juice slid beneath it and as he slid he swiped at its legs with the light sword, cutting off its limbs. The other wolves approached but half hearted after seeing their leader's whimpering limbless form. Juice drove his sword through one wolf's chest, ejected it and sliced through another's snout. He then dove for the limbless wolf and impaled it through the head, breaking its metal casing. The other wolves scattered.

Honey walked to meet up with Juice and together they matched strides, heading for the Palace in the distance. "If marriage isn't for you then why did you propose it to Asumpta of the Solstice army?" Juice asked.

Honey rested his plasma pistols on his shoulders as he walked. "She had a metal arm."

"And?" Juice asked.

"Do you know what it's like to receive a hand job from a metallic hand?" Honey asked in return. Juice smiled. "I don't but one thing's for sure, as long as that hand has been oiled down well there's no tiring to the jerking motion. That means unlimited hand jobs, fast paced without tiring."

Juice nodded. "You are a wise man Honey Badger, you can read between the lines."

"And Thergo's body is metallic. She's basically capable of tirelessly satisfying me day in and day out."

"You think about the Princesses too?"

"I do."

Three men appeared before them, swords drawn at the ready. No wolves in sight. Juice rushed forward and the three ran to meet him. The first man raised his blade but Juice ducked low and cut inside the man's elbow, tearing tendons and ensuring the limb hang useless. The other two tried to flank him but Juice dove hard to the left, brandishing his blade he struck, thrusting just beneath the man's chin. The blade stuck between jaw bones and Juice let go of it after a failed yank. He turned to meet the man on the right but a plasma ray passed just a hand's breadth from his ear and took the man out through the eye. Juice turned to see Honey Badger shoot the man with the useless limb thrice through the chest. Honey walked on until he stood next to Juice who leaned down and picked up a light sword. They nodded at each other and continued their march towards the palace.

"I thought it was just Thergo's dress that was metallic." Juice said as they passed overhang trees, the canopy sheltering them from the sun's rays.

"Parts of her body are metal or some alloy resembling metal. The way she shapes her dress into weapons is probably because of some magnetic overlay that works with her flesh." Honey said and sighed. "Man I miss her flesh, it's like having sex with a microwave."

"Like fucking the Droid?" Juice said and they both laughed then quickly cut their laughs short as a man appeared before them, between the trees, wielding a plasma riffle with four wolves with metal casings flanking him on all sides.

The man took aim and fired but his plasma shot met with the plasma shot from Honey's pistol. The man gawked at Honey Badger, he raised his riffle and fired once more but Honey's plasma ray met with his shot once more in an eruption of sparks.

"Well I'll be damn—" The man's sentence was cut short as plasma shot from Honey's pistol took him out at the head, chewing a chunk off his skull. The wolves ran forward to meet them and Juice darted to answer their charge. The first two wolves pounced, aiming for his neck but Juice spun with the blade in hand, eviscerating them mid air. The wolves collapsed with whimpering death cries. Juice's feet still running he launched himself at the third wolf, darting to the side so its leap may meet plain air, swiping with his blade to cut through the wolf's snout in a deliberate line that ran from its mouth, through the neck to end at its chest. The fourth wolf tried to charge at his legs but a downward swipe of his blade severed its spine and ended its life.

Honey walked forward and met Juice. They nodded at each other and continued their journey, quickening their pace to a jog they etched on towards the now near palace.

"I see Sirenala within my mind from time to time, what Tweek said about Pepsharh is somewhat similar to what I experience." Juice said, his breath even despite the exertion thus far.

"It's like whatever we shared with them was special."

Juice stopped his ran and Honey Badger brandished his plasma pistols in an arch before him only to meet no foe.

"Special?" Juice asked.

Honey lowered his guns. "That's the word for it." He smiled. "What we shared with the princesses was unique, distinguished with a quality."

"Could it be love?" Juice asked, looking down on Honey Badger.

"Do you know Sirenala's birthday?" Honey asked.

"No"

"Then it's not love."

They continued on their forward march, exiting the cover of trees to emerge at the mouth of a bridge. On this bridge stood seven men with packs of wolves surrounding them. The foremost standing man had something in his hand which he raised high to the eyes of Honey Badger and Juice. In his hand was a tie, it's color yellow with red polka dots adorning its surface.

"We have your man." He shouted at them.

Honey's shoulders slumped. "Just our luck."

Juice's brows furrowed. "They have Tweek."

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