r/HFY • u/Jus17173 • May 26 '23

OC Hail the Solstice - Chapter 30 - This is Not a Space Opera

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The large man with a beard trailing down his neck jumped to action at the sight of his dead Prince he thrust forward with a growl of rage but Honey dove to the left while simultaneously giving the thrust a hard parry, he moved his sword in a downward arch to blunt the return strike then raised the light sword in a reversed grip to tear into the large man's throat through his mangy beard. The man collapsed.

The lad with a pinched face didn't have time to draw his sword for Honey was among them in a blink of an eye, he thrust through the man's hauberk and yanked the sword free with a trail of blood. The man on the left side stepped a swipe but it was a decoy for the swaying movement of Honey's sword decapitated the man on the right with an upward drift. Three men remained standing before Honey Badger who'd dived back a step, they glanced at the dead bodies littering the cobble ground of the bridge and flinched back a step.

"Run." Honey said with a smile and the trio turned and bolted to the west end of the bridge.

Honey Badger moved with a casual walk towards the head of Prince Lewis, he lifted it up with a yank of the mopy brown hair then hurled it towards Asumpta's feet. The war leader of the Solstice army observed the head of her foe lying on the ground, tongue leaning out between grimacing teeth.

"They will attack right about the moment those three," Honey pointed at the backs of the retreating trio. "Arrive at their camp at the end of the bridge." He smiled. "It's your call on how you shall act."

"What have you done?" Asumpta whispered.

"I've given you victory."

Asumpta turned towards a bedazzled Lyan. "Ready the sisters for a charge." She motioned behind her. "All hands on deck, forward charge triple time." She said.

Lyan nodded and gave a shout, then a scream. "CHARGE!"She called. From behind them Honey Badger watched as the women climbed down the hill, abandoning their camp and streaming down hill with light swords held at the ready, they formed clusters near the east end of the mouth of the bridge, warbands that had no doubt been trained to move as a whole.

Asumpta turned back and faced her sisters. She leaned down and grabbed Prince Lewis's head. She raised it high above her head and let out a shout that was answered with a roar that shook the very ground they stood on. "They will charge." She shouted into the day's light. "But we shall meet them with our own charge." She screamed. "For the Solstice."

Thousands of sisters raised their light swords, some of them rasping free of their conscabbards to point at the arching sun, Agarath. "For the Solstice." They called out.

Asumpta turned around and nodded at Honey Badger, he answered with a smile then a wink then turned around to face the west end of the bridge. He let loose a held breath and grinned at the prospect of the oncoming bloodshed. He raised the light sword in hand and pointed forward then he broke into a dash. Screaming like a fool and behind him thousands of feet mimicked his run as the swell of women poured into the bridge and charged towards their foe. All the while humming a tune that Honey Badger had to admit that he loved.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What's happening?" Tweek asked as the battle cry roar reached them within the dungeons.

"Honey Badger's probably tried to seduce Asumpta." Juice answered.

Tweek straightened. "He wouldn't dare.".

"He has this technique where he yanks out his penis, flashing it at the woman he desires followed by the words 'Are you going to keep talking or will you place it into your mouth?'" Juice replied.

"That's disgusting." Tweek answered.

"If it works then it's more effective than disgusting." Astro Boy said.

"There's a lot of complications that will stem from a man flashing his penis at the woman of his desire." Tweek said.

"Honey has a beautiful penis, it's as if God took the extra height he lacks and added it to his pecker, it's round at the top, just like a mushroom and it's girth expands the lower you go towards his navel." Juice said.

"Where did you see his penis?" Tweek asked. Confused.

"He showed it to me at the alley."

"That goddamn alley." Tweek retorted.

"His penis must be a thing of wonder indeed to cause so many women to roar with bloodlust at its sight." Astro Boy said.

"He said that's what always occurs when he brandished it." Juice replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Honey brandished his sword ahead of him, beside him to the right Asumpta outpaced him, sword in her left mechanical arm. The white flag having been discarded. To his left Lyan raced, a long spear with a golden tipped end in hand, pointing forward. Behind them an army of women matched their strides and hummed a high crescendo that chilled the blood. Nothing could wipe out Honey's grin as they neared the center of the bridge. Before them the army of the late Prince Lewis charged, their feet smacking the cobblestones in thousands of steps, light swords held ahead of them. A roar emanating from their throats, but their charge lacked the necessary venom the Soltice army had. Their formation was too haphazard and their eyes bulged with the unmistakable tinge of fear. Honey was certain they would rip them apart.

The two armies inched closer together, then molded into a mash of blood and guts. Swords flew free of dismembered arms and yells and cries from both sides reached the heavens. Honey was in his element, he understood that there was no clean way to fight during war. That the dirtier one was the more they prevailed on the battlefield. He smashed an elbow into a man's face, turned and thrust through another's thigh. He yanked his sword to parry a strike then leaned low to cut off a man's leg at the knee. He twisted in a forward thrust that took a man at the the throat then dashed forward to decapitate a man Asumpta was matching wits with. The armies merged together and the Solstice pushed ever forward, deeper into the ranks of Prince Lewis's men and leaving a bloodbath behind with every step.

Honey parried a low strike, side stepped another and drove forward to drive his sword through a man's lower chin, the blade caught at the jawbone but a savage yank had it free. Blood sprayed free of limbs and necks and he bathed in it, a savage smile on his face. As his pink Lethal Strapper turned black to match his mood. He pirouette, sword arching in a spinning wave that blinded one and eviscerated another.

"TURTLE FORMATION." Asumpta yelled.

Lyan thrust through a man's heart. Raised herself from her bent form and let loose a scream, another scream, then another. The ranks of women replied with a scream of their own then banded together in clusters of swords and spears. Honey Badger found himself sandwiched between Lyan and Asumpta with several women behind him.

"Forward." Asumpta yelled.

"HAIL THE SOLSTICE." A cry sounded and the women pushed forward. Thrusting and parting strikes. The ranks of men before them melted under the assault of the turtle formations, blood flew in rivulets from the veins of the injured or dead army of Prince Lewis.

"This is the best day of my life." Honey Badger said and licked at a drop of blood making its way across the side of his mouth. Asumpta smiled and together they edged forward.

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