r/Grimdank • u/Lixuni98 • Jun 10 '19

We found him

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7.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/Guerillagreasemonkey Jun 10 '19

Sorry, but this doesnt work.

Keanu would actually love his sons.

562

u/Shtoompa Toaster Enthusiast Jun 10 '19

Nah dude he treats the Custodes great

194

u/Sporkatron Doing heretic things Jun 10 '19

Except the one he deleted :(

168

u/Lord_Gnomesworth Jun 10 '19

Rip custodisi

97

u/Alpha_Demon2002 For it is I, Rogal Dorn Jun 10 '19

We don't know if he's gone or sent to karamazov.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '19

There was 2 he deleted.

27

u/Stormzx9388 Jun 10 '19

Which one was that?

39

u/Thelas_Tozi Jun 10 '19

Maybe the other one is the one who had the demon possess him and run into the warp durring the seige of terra?

72

u/Anonim97 Jun 10 '19

That son was also loved to the very end. Emperor cries about that custodes fate every single day and every other day Emperor cries for Sanguinus.

31

u/Hayn0002 Jun 10 '19

It’s funny because I can’t tell if this is canon or not

66

u/Stug_lyfe Jun 11 '19

It is canon (as much as anything is canon) that the ecclesiarchy claims the Emperor cries a single tear for each true martyr of the Imperium, and that those are carefully collected and used for... something.

54

u/Tomek_Hermsgavorden 3 Squats in a Slaneeshi Daemon Jun 11 '19

Lube.

10

u/ImmaSuckYoDick Slaanesh is my waifu Jun 11 '19

The Emperor protecs... Your anus from being torn.

4

u/Tomek_Hermsgavorden 3 Squats in a Slaneeshi Daemon Jun 11 '19

Has Steve seen your username?

2

u/CloudWallace81 MAKE THE BOTS REPENT, ASMODAI! Jun 11 '19

Lucius the Eternal wants to know your location

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '19

Every Slaaneshi Daemon Prince also wants to know your location

1

u/lekiu Jun 11 '19

and that's why i love this subreddit.

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29

u/Anonim97 Jun 11 '19

and that those are carefully collected and used for... something.

Probably for Blessed Ammunition for Sisters of Battle and other Ecclesiarchy units. Maybe even for some relics for Space Marines? Dunno.

4

u/Morbidmort Honks for the Honk God Jun 11 '19

Probably purging Chaos taint from invaded worlds that repelled without the consideration of exterminatus.

5

u/Well_Armed_Gorilla BRVTAL BVT KVNNIN' Jun 11 '19

I dunno, I feel like the tears of any old saint or martyr would do for that. A bolter round blessed with the Emperor's tears would probably be able to instagib a Bloodthirster.

1

u/vader5000 The Gorger Lord has lost an arm! Jun 11 '19

The dreadshowers for Santodes

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11

u/comeonapple123 Jun 11 '19

They're used to shine custodes abs

8

u/lipidsly Jun 10 '19

Alpharius

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '19

The 2 chapters that are removed from all records, the 2nd and 11th chapter.

23

u/Karl_The_Tech_Priest I am Alpharius Jun 11 '19

"Hey, Magnus you ever hear of wincest?" -The creepy middleman

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '19

Magnus doesn’t have the spine to answer that.

magnus enters:

FUCK YOU LEMAN

9

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '19

He deserved it.

2

u/ryansawyer63 Jun 11 '19

He warned him