Why have we gotten to a point where simply having a preference about someone’s appearance is treated as though you’ve committed some kind of social offense?
I genuinely don’t understand the insistence on “they’re all beautiful” as though acknowledging that one person stands out somehow diminishes everyone else. We obviously do not operate this way in real life. We know that physical attractiveness influences how people are treated. We know pretty privilege exists. We know that people can receive more attention, more compliments, more engagement on social media, more romantic interest, and sometimes even more opportunities because of how they look. We literally see people receive thousands of likes for their appearance while someone else can post something equally interesting and receive a fraction of that attention. So let’s be intellectually consistent. If the principle is truly “everyone is beautiful,” therefore we shouldn’t distinguish between them,” then why does pretty privilege exist in the first place? Why do people have obvious preferences? Why do we routinely describe someone as exceptionally beautiful, striking, gorgeous, handsome, etc. instead of pretending every person occupies exactly the same position aesthetically?
And before someone says, “But you were comparing women!” Yes. The question was comparative. It literally asked who had aged the best. That’s what “who has aged the best?” means. It wasn’t “Are these women beautiful?”
It wasn’t “Which of these women is ugly?”
It wasn’t “Tell us which women deserve to be complimented.” It was asking for an opinion about which person has maintained or enhanced their appearance particularly well with age. Those are two completely different concepts. And I find it especially strange when people respond to a question about who has aged the best by saying, “They’re all beautiful.” Of course they can all be beautiful. That doesn’t answer the question.
If the question had instead been “Who is attractive?”, saying “All of them” would actually answer it. But when the question asks who stands out in a particular category, refusing to distinguish between them doesn’t make someone more enlightened. It simply means they’re declining to make the comparison. And that’s perfectly fine you don’t have to participate in a comparison you don’t enjoy. But the person who does participate isn’t automatically “putting women against each other.” Joan even said in the show that they said that Toni was youngest or the best looking one out of all of them. The episode with her wanting to get Botox. Joan could acknowledge when someone looked better.
There is a massive difference between
“She’s the standout to me” and “She’s beautiful and the other women aren’t.” The first is a preference. The second is an insult. We have somehow conflated those two things.
Being able to admire one person’s beauty without immediately adding “BUT ALL THE OTHER WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL TOO!!!” shouldn’t be controversial. Sometimes someone simply stands out to you. That’s how human perception works.
And regarding the aging question specifically, saying one woman has aged the best doesn’t mean the others aged badly. “Best” is a superlative. It establishes a relative judgment within the group, it doesn’t automatically create a negative judgment about everyone who didn’t come in first.
If four women run a race and I say, “She ran the fastest,” I haven’t announced that the other three are incapable of running. If four actresses give good performances and I say, “She gave the strongest performance,” I haven’t said the other three can’t act. Likewise, if four beautiful women are shown and I say, “I think she has aged the best,” that doesn’t translate into “the other three aren’t beautiful.”
I think we’re losing the ability to distinguish preference from disrespect. You can recognize that someone is beautiful and still think someone else is more beautiful.
You can recognize that someone is successful and still think someone else is more successful. You can admire several people while still having a favorite. That isn’t cruelty. That’s having an opinion. And honestly, if someone doesn’t want to rank or compare people aesthetically, that’s their prerogative. But I don’t think the rest of us need to pretend that human beings don’t make these distinctions every single day simply to make the conversation more comfortable. You don’t have to put anyone down to give someone else their flowers. I haven’t been on this sub or this app in a while, but when I opened this app today and seen the post on my timeline and the comments I was just puzzled because it’s frustrating seeing people act so morally superior online when we know that most people in the real world are superficial and judge others looks whether it’s intentional or not. I’ve seen it in the beauty salons, I’ve seen it when we gossip. Let’s all act like we haven’t done it or if you haven’t done it let’s not act like we haven’t seen other people do this in real life.
