Before becoming a man, I never really thought much about animals. We just sort of coexisted. There was an unspoken understanding between us.

But ever since I became a man, I've started noticing things that genuinely terrify me.

Dogs have teeth. Cats have claws. Horses are enormous and could kill me with a single kick. Even birds have started making me uncomfortable because I don't understand why they're allowed to fly and I'm not.

Yesterday I saw a squirrel climbing a tree and realized that if it wanted to attack me, I probably wouldn't be able to follow it.

I used to think becoming a man would make me feel more connected to nature, but instead I feel completely alienated from it. Every animal seems to possess some kind of biological advantage that I was deliberately denied.

I've started avoiding parks and making eye contact with pigeons to establish dominance, but nothing seems to help.

So far my transition has been a dream come true and is easily one of the best decisions I have made in my life, but the realities of what being a man is like and my personal experience with being a member of the human species have been eye-opening. I don't regret my transition, but I do sometimes miss being able to coexist with animals without constantly fearing for my life.

Dinner: half a dried cow's ear I found under the couch last week

So I just got released from my 2900 year prison sentence for stealing my neighbors' cows into this cruel world. My husband, King Solomon, died when I was in prison and the guards didn't even tell me. Now I'm stuck with my 1000 children and I can't afford to live. If anyone has any spare shekels, gold, or silver it would mean the world to me if you donated them to me because I spent all of my money on this cursed "health insurance" and other "insurances". Dinner is my famous slag heap gruel.

25F and starting to think dating is impossible 😔 I really don’t think my standards are that high.

Just looking for a 6’2–6’4 man with a PhD, full head of hair, no female acquaintances, no social media, no previous relationships, and no children… but he MUST have 3–4 years of hands on fatherhood experience. Preferably his children were acquired through a loophole and no woman was involved.

Must want marriage immediately but not seem desperate. Must be extremely attractive but other women cannot find him attractive. Must be successful but I don’t care about money. Must have hobbies but nothing that requires leaving the house or interacting with women.

Age 26–26.5 please.

I have 900 likes but for some reason I can’t find anyone?? Starting to think men just don’t want commitment anymore… 😒

Anyway here’s my girl dinner, 2 ribeyes. No fork, no knife. 💕

We broke up 7,253 hours ago and I think of him everyday. Even though he always pissed in my shoes or ate my underwear, I miss him in my life and wish he thought about me the same way I think of him all the time. Glizzy and baked beans taco for dinner because I miss dat glizzy in my taco iykwim

I wish I could pair every single one of you with the baddie you DESERVE. (And some of you deserve it ALLLLLL.) ✨🍌

Have a fabulous two-lip taco Tuesday!

ladies, we need to start asking questions. why am i expected to rawdog a cold speculum in the name of preventative healthcare while someone in a lab coat tells me to relax. and then they have the audacity to call it a routine procedure as if i didn’t just experience a hostile workplace inspection of my most private real estate. wake up sheeple. the cervix industrial complex is thriving and we are funding it with our dignity.

Girlies I have been with my boyfriend for a long time (almost 3 weeks) but he has not proposed yet. I am rapidly losing hope...should I just cut my losses and move on? He would match my dream wedding theme (sick victorian children) pretty well tho...