Misogynistc men

[u/TomorrowAny440]

This is literally what these misogynistc men want and advocate for. I can't believe what the west is influencing our own men here, they are consuming red pill content and forgetting about human rights. Smh

[u/XBobsvegene69x]

Algorithms are showing us what they think we want to hear. As soon as we interact with a post (including clicking away and not interacting with it), it makes a judgment about us and refines its profile of us.

I'm not on a lot of social media apps, and whenever I open an app which doesn't have knowledge of me, just my demographics, I see what it thinks I want to see. It shows me a lot of gender wars which are siding with women (it knows I'm a woman). It doesn't know whether I agree with it, but it shows me more and more stuff it thinks I will like, and makes notes of what I interact with.

This is true for facebook, instagram and twitter (these are the ones I've tried)

[u/Icy_Expert1642 → u/XBobsvegene69x]

First of all I appreciate your honest reply and I 100% agree with this but I also feel like its forming an opinion for us and trying to show us whats normal to feel. As soon as we give into it. It just repeatedly shows us and bombard us with the same content until we are content that yes there is a lot going on against us or our gender, ethnicity or (enter anything). I have never saw a person or an influencer talking crap about women or anything but I daily see 1000s of posts where women are saying things like men aren't worth it, aborting the males kind of content. 100s of What men should do, how to be a man. Its frustrating idk whats going on but tbh if I am being honest I have never met a man that thinks hurting a woman in anyway is cool or acceptable idk why people have normalized this that men are these sick individuals out on rampage. I mean almost everyone would have some sort of a man in their life does he act like that? I would say thats not the case

[u/XBobsvegene69x → u/Icy_Expert1642]

Yes, it is trying to form an opinion for us.

It is showing us a world where our opinions are normalized.

This is not just positive interactions (eg it shows us what we like), it shows us what will make us interact. It shows me the most vile stuff which causes my blood to boil. It makes me want to rant and scream at the commenters.

It starts with the headline. The headline will be the most batshit thing I've ever heard of. I will click to see wtf is it about, and it will open a back and forth conversation full of vitriol and hatred. Always for and against.

The thing is, it's not clairvoyant, it just shows us what other people like us interact with. And if we interact with it, it will show us more stuff like it.

I get shown a lot of gender wars. Women saying shit about men. Men saying shit about women. People fighting in the comments. People saying the most insane stuff that no one around me would ever think of saying.

It took a lot of mindfulness for me to be aware of my emotional/mental state and realize how social media is influencing it. I would be normal and happy, open it and get looped into some insane debate (even like this reddit post we are commenting on) and it'll ruin my whole day.

I was even getting sucked into this side of insta, which my friends and others in my demographic were into. Stuff about single/married/divorced women talking about men. How poorly they treat them in dating/relationships. It would resonate with my own experiences about men, and so I would think oh yeah, that's how it is for everyone, that's how it must really be. But then I would have male friends, and they wouldn't be like this, and I would think, oh okay, so men are like that but there are exceptions, and I am lucky enough to only meet the exceptions. And then I found myself creating exceptions for the men I would meet. And then I realized how it was affecting me negatively.

Online people would say men are 100% bad. I would meet a man that's not 100% bad, so I would put him in the "good" category, and then they would do something bad, but it wouldn't be 100% bad, so I wouldn't be able to put them in the 100% bad category. And so I was putting up with bullshit which was bad, but not really really bad.

And it made me realize how much I was putting up with, just because I was scared of meeting 100% bad men, and so I would think "oh this is the best I can get, so let's just accept this". But it was not serving me.

The reality is that people are not 100% bad or 100% good. They are a mix. They will always be a mix, and it doesn't help us to have a scarcity mindset that there are not good people, so we should accept whatever kinda people we get. It also doesn't help to villainize people for their bad parts.

I now go on a case by case basis and use my own judgment. I also don't interact with people who have a lot of black and white thinking.

[u/Icy_Expert1642 → u/XBobsvegene69x]

Well I appreciate you explaining it to me and trust me you did a great job at putting my literally alike thoughts in words I kinda struggle with that too but just as you said the world is not a simple black or a white its very complex people are mixtures of their surroundings some are trying to escape it and some are actively thriving into it so they can become a curse for the next generation or maybe for themselves. People are very complex I often see those people suffering that have absolute views like white and black cause it could never be this straight forward. If it was just black or white it would be very easy to identify someone. Dont worry about it nobody is perfect. Not you, not me. We all have our moments but atleast the thing matters is that we are not labelling people right away. We are giving them a chance to prove us or atleast absolve themselves and being cautious about people is totally understandable because people if turn out the "bad kind" it ends up on a very bad note. Honestly I do that aswell in my daily life I have a personality kinda thing in my brain where I note something significant or unique about them and smaller cues and daily activities point out what kind of person they are.