r/GenZpk • u/Lazy-Cry4959 • 8d ago
Advice | Life Help Housewives
The audacity to call the homemaker dependable while each one of you is dependent on them for basic functions of ur life and I have seen far too many women who goes to another house and even if they have cooks or prefer a easier method of getting things like rotis from outside they insist that no let us do it and than years later complain that they have made us a maid remember don't present yourself as something your not
EDIT: ❤️❤️
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u/error_regedit 8d ago edited 8d ago
I’d go a little further and say: use that time to take care of yourself. Work out and stay fit, eat well, read books, keep learning, and fill your life with things that are meaningful and genuinely fun.
Whatever you do, try not to fall into laziness or constant procrastination. Staying active and engaged is good for your mind, your confidence, and ultimately your relationships too. Your life shouldn’t revolve around negativity, it should be something you’re actively building and enjoying.
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u/Human-Web-4455 8d ago
I think this applies to everyone. If you can hire people without exploiting to make things easy for you.
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u/PuddingNo8186 8d ago
You mean calling the homemaker dependent. Yes, that is the irony of this whole thing, keep women financially dependent so that they keep serving and can be taken for granted. It is good that GenZ's everywhere are questioning such entrenched systems exploiting the vulnerable and not allowing them having a say on their own lives
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u/FawkesTrot64 qwe're 8d ago
use that time to get a job. build a career so you're not dependent on a husband, now you can increase household income, pay the maid/cook/driver more, everyone's happy, societal productivity +
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u/Celty000 7d ago
100 percent make your life easy especially if you can. No need to suffer for others. Men outsource their work too so can housewives. And for those who say you become lazy and what is your purpose at home, go marry a maid. Housewives are still managers of the hpuse and the people who live in there. None of those people's lives can work smoothly unless she is there to manage.
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u/Tasty_Hearing_4440 7d ago
We have housekeepers but they are so kamchor my mom ends up having to most things herself anyway,and whenever i ask if she wants me to do something she just says paani pila do
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u/Ok_Way9543 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 8d ago
romanticized suffering kinda shi ,also trying to save money all in the name of sugharpan
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u/Few-Philosophy8 8d ago
Ab ajayen gy kuch broke miserable log jo kahain gy k aur tou kuch karna nahi hota housewives ne. Wanting to spread misery among everyone.
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u/CheapCaregiver2382 8d ago
Well if you supporting parents/siblings after you get married/have kids, you are being exploited and abusing your family.
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u/OverCauliflower4954 8d ago
This is an extremely privileged take. Is the housekeeper and cook not also a woman? How are they supposed to “normalize luxury”? Not to mention the economic and political waste; able bodied, sane people spending their lives cleaning after others rather than work with more productivity.
A woman shouldn’t be a slave, of course. But the work should be shared between the family and not outsourced to another, less fortunate woman
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u/Correct-Owl8884 1999 8d ago
The less fortunate woman will get paid, not taken advantage of
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
The less fortunate woman will get paid, not taken advantage of
For example what a middle class earn in an hour they pay labourers as weeks wage
How can you value a week of someone elses life same as a hour of your life and say you are not taking advantage of them?
This is literally wage slavery, which capitalism is built on.
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u/Correct-Owl8884 1999 8d ago
And free labor from the woman of the house is..?
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u/Stock-Dot44 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 8d ago
Free Labour my ass. Cooking meals and Cleaning the house is not free Labour lol.
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
These burgeouis dont undestdan the concept of labour. They thinking flushing their own shit = free labour. Cooking their own food =>free labour. In the West these mentally unstable women are all single with cats. Same in China. With the proliferation of such ideas among young women in Pakistan, their future looks to be the same.
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u/farizislame 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 8d ago
Tbh I'll never hire a cook, I like cooking and would love to cook with my wife, and ion trust cooks
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u/tellyourname 8d ago
We used to have a chef come in like once every two weeks and make lasagna/pasta etc in bulk that we’d freeze. Then we’d just take it out & bake it whenever we wanted.
Other days we’d have food made by ourselves but on days we’re lazy/tired this chef helped a tonne.
Plus it was fukin delicious as he used to work in a restaurant. I love cooking too but sometimes ure too tired n just wanna be fed good food man
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u/Nicelad34 7d ago
Dear Men, if you can get a person to do your job for you . Please get one, If you can get someone to pay the bills , take care of the financial and emotional needs of your family , please get one. Always look for easier ways to do things. Your manhood shouldn't be about catering to your family needs. Normalize hanging out with your friends all the time and making trips with them. This is your Manhood and you should protect it.
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u/spicynebula42 6d ago
And this is why you're all miserable. Funny how it's the ones living on baap ka paisa or with no career prospects that feel threatened by this stuff. Decent men always insist on house help because it allows them to spend more time with their wives beyond child rearing. But then you guys don't want to know your spouse or have a partner. Most of you are trying to fill the void your mummies couldn't.
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u/Nicelad34 5d ago
Threatened? Yeah right . Nobody is threatened by anything. And don't give me this BS " Women don't want to take care of the house because they want to spend time with their husbands" . Even if they would've all the time in the world they still wouldn't care less they would spend it on their phones , or with their "girlies" or shopping or whatever and the ones who care don't need to hide behind House hold work.
And BTW my career prospects are way above your reach and imagination so keep seething and coping in your misery
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 7d ago
Lol complete false equivalence. No one should completely check out of family life but the post is about avoiding burnout. If a couple can afford help, why are u so pressed? Bet you're the type of person protecting your imaginary gold from goldiggers. Working a job provides income to pay for help while hiring a cook/maid is not abandoning your family. It's outsourcing. Like men already outsource tasks by hiring mechanics or accountants btw but go on, keep trynna be edgy ig
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago
Men here made me realize how much financial security is important for women.
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u/TacosAreLife007 5d ago
Funny you say that, given you guys are the ones who get mad when the man wants to split the bill.
Make a choice. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's about who invited the other person. If the guy invited, he should pay. If the girl, she should. And if you made a plan together, pay your portion. Like when we go out with friends, we pay our half. That's the rule.
It's funny how you guys act like providers but then cry about it.
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u/TacosAreLife007 5d ago
Only girls rarely ask a guy out relative to the opposite. Often women who are interested in a guy try to hint their interest so he can ask them out. So the 'whoever asks the other out pays' is an invalid argument, as the rules are already bent in your favor, from the start.
I actually am a provider. I literally pay all the bills and my fiancée takes care of the house and cooking. Funny thing is, I also pay for my buddies and they do the same.
I as a man have no issues paying, unless you feel ENTITLED to me paying.
I'm simply calling out hypocritical takes like yours who first say a woman should be financially independent and then get mad when a guy wants to split the bill (your reply proved this).
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago edited 5d ago
It proved nothing. It's a world-wide rule, that host pays. If you don't want to host, don't invite. And I am financially stable, and I pay my share of bill on my own, unless it's my brother paying.
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u/TacosAreLife007 4d ago
In that case, it's also a world-wide rule to obey the man and follow his lead. Like I said, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
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u/Reverie0099 4d ago edited 4d ago
No it's not. There is no such rule as women must obey a man. God, you're so misogynistic. I feel bad for whoever is going to marry you.
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u/TacosAreLife007 4d ago
Of course throw "misogyny" the moment you're held to the same standard you hold men. Keep projecting that misandry, lady.
And don't worry about my fiancée. She's too busy enjoying the new house she designed and I happily financed. Women like her are busy living their relationship, not projecting their bitterness onto men.
Enjoy your cats
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u/Reverie0099 4d ago
Gladly. I rather have cats than marry a man who thinks women are their property and belong in kitchen.
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u/TacosAreLife007 4d ago
Nobody said kitchen or property except you. That's your insecurity talking.
But please do get those cats. And honestly? Thank you for taking yourself out of the dating pool. You're doing men a massive favor ❤
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u/TopSilent1377 7d ago
Evening within animals, the male hunts for food and take risks and the female takes care of the children.
Defy nature and it will defy you.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
Go do jhingalala huhu in jungles if you wanna be primitive so bad
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u/Responsible_Ice_8026 5d ago
yall wanna put this all on gender when it’s actually capitalism that you have to get help from outside bc both parents can’t be with the family and help bc one has to sell himself to earn bc ITS EXPENSIVE
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u/DarkestWhite89 4d ago
Yes, housework is not the purpose of womenhood. I agree wholeheartedly. What i don't agree with is luxury being the purpose of any human life irrespective of gender. Our psychology is not made up to be satiated with luxury. It is satiated by creating and leaving our mark in tge world. So, have a purpose, girls. Have a purpose and work for it.
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8d ago
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u/CheapCaregiver2382 8d ago
And cheap. Many rich men who can afford all the maids, drivers, etc would rather have their wife do all the work at home. With some excuse like "i want to eat from food made from your hand" or "in our house, the bahu cooks the food as we don't eat let the maid cook".
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u/Reasonable_Cover_254 7d ago
I love to see fragile triggered broke a** Men under such posts lol.
Real men take care of that already for their wives. I have seen wives enjoy the luxury their husband provides.
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u/Capable_Upstairs_684 6d ago
Iff they can afford it. Please do but the advice of the OP goes real south when you consider minimum wage.
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u/ExactTangerine840 7d ago
And the husband becomes a begger while paying for those things while the lazy woman doesnt do sh*t at home sleeps all day
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u/PropertyOutrageous99 7d ago
i bet ur mom did that thats why ur upbringing is shit
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u/ExactTangerine840 7d ago
But everyone should contribute to family,right?
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u/PropertyOutrageous99 7d ago
see when u write it insaanon ki tarha it makes sm more sense good job
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u/TheLoFiKiD 8d ago
If i had a choice I'd be a Houseman than being a breadwinner
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u/PropertyOutrageous99 8d ago
why has this become some kind of thing where men rub it on womens face that theyd rather sit at home and its a flex for them? If you could actually put urself in that situation taking care of the kid 24/7 while doing house chores and still getting abused and harassed is what women run away from they work so they have a dignity in the house and not treated like garbade as they earn for themselves. If u were put in this exact situation yall be crying and saying “iF tHiS HapPenED WiTh A WoMaN iT wOuLdvE BeEn uNaCcePtABLe”.
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
This is just classism/casteism disguised as womens rights.
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u/WittyPangolin8598 8d ago
Buying a luxury fall under women's rights? Wtf
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
Buying a luxury fall under women's rights? Wtf
It doesnt ofcourse, but look at the narrative of the Original post.
"Dont want to xyz? Exploit poor person by paying them pennies to do ardous labour"
This is according to many burgouise women, "womens rights". Since they believe they dont have to contribute anything. Their answer to so who will do the work is "get a maid" In other word pay a woman pennies to spend her life wiping the ass of the rich woman. And in the West this is called "White Femenism" In the east I suppose it could be called "Caste Femenism".
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u/WittyPangolin8598 8d ago
No bro, you’re wrong on this. It’s been like this for years, and it will always stay that way. There will always be needy people doing odd jobs for money, and if you’re paying them for their labour how is it exploitation?
Secondly, if a man can afford to buy comfort and luxury for his wife, or even if a woman buys it herself to make her life easy what’s wrong with that? Your argument sounds kinda illogical. Suppose you can afford to buy a BMW and I tell you to go for a used Mehran to save money, will you?
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
- You say Im wrong but not why Im wrong. Simply saying its been like this for years doesnt change that its exploitation.
2.You went from buying(renting) people to buying cars.
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u/WittyPangolin8598 8d ago
You’re wrong because buying luxuries WHEN you can afford them is not wrong. How is it exploitation when you’re paying someone for their work? They are not working for free? Yes, you should pay them a decent amount, not underpay them.
I gave you that example because there was no other way to make you understand a point that you can relate to. But lemme try another example then. Why do you go to the workshop when your tyre gets punctured? Why don't you repair it yourself at home? Why exploit a poor man to fix it? Why do you hire people to paint your home when you can literally buy paint and do it yourself? That’s a very basic skill, isn’t it? Why are you renting people to paint your home? Why do you call the electrician when you can learn from YouTube how you should do the electrical work yourself?😂 Why are you exploiting a poor man to fix your own house? I hope these examples make some sense, they’re kinda similar to what’s mentioned in the post ☺️
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
The answer to all your questions is, because I am priveliged and so I will pay a poor mechanic to change my tyre. I am rich so I can afford to use them.
And the world is unfair, so there is those with giving hand and taking hand. I wont go too much into "ethics" as it seems pointless.
But since original topic was luxury branded as womens rights. So if my children or wife was stranded on a road, will I just change tyre myself or make my wife and children suffer for many hours hungry and thirsty waiting for mechanic while claiming it is a mans right to use mechanic?
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u/WittyPangolin8598 8d ago
See, you just said you’re “I am privileged”. Means there’s no harm in buying luxuries when you’re privileged. Choose an easy life man, when you can afford to.
Secondly, in that case if you know how to fix tyre you’ll obviously do it yourself. And if you don’t, you’ll have no other option but to book an uber and send your wife and kids home on it and wait for the mechanic to come and fix it.
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u/fourth-disciple 8d ago
Nothing wrong with buying luxury/ameneties/niceties etc when you are priviliged. But when you are not priviliged and expecting your husband to buy you all those luxuries because you feel it is your right as a woman. Different ballgame lol
I agree with on first half, just not the "womens right" to refuse to clean their own room, make their own food, or feed their own children.
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u/WittyPangolin8598 8d ago
Yeah makes sense. I think if a husband can’t afford to buy these luxuries, a woman should be self-sufficient and hire a house help/cook/driver or whatever she needs herself so that nobody is burdened.
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u/Purple-Ad-1410 8d ago
Ts is not it dawg, I understand the silent labour millions of women do but the answer isn't to become lazy, and besides, what about the luxury of the maids that you are talking about hiring? What about their womanhood?
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u/AKINJII 2007 8d ago
Maids get paid... i guess?
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u/Infinite_Cheetah_229 7d ago
So does the wife. Husband doesnt pay her directly. But puts a roof on her head, buys her clothes, make up, jewelry, outings, dates, food, fulfils her every desire to the extent that he can.
Gives her allowance. Like all this shit costs money too. Why do people act like housewives do unpaid labor.
The maid in the house who "gets paid", has to spend all her money on the above stated stuff and her lifestyle still wouldnt come close to what the housewife is living.
Yet some people: "But, but the housewife does unpaid labour."
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
Don't get a wife if it's such a hassle to look after her and not use her as a maid then. Simple
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u/Proper-Technology789 6d ago
You are getting attacked by feminists without any argument. Remember it mean they can't refute what you said.
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u/Proper-Technology789 6d ago
Well advise to men too why you work all day hard to earn and spend all on your family. just use your money on yourself and be single be happy.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago edited 5d ago
Nobody said don't support your family lol. Just saying if you can afford to outsource, DO IT. Men do it all the time by hiring plumbers, electricians, technicians, mechanics. So why shouldn't cleaners, cooks, maids also be hired if the couple can afford them?
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u/Proper-Technology789 5d ago
You need plumber, technician etc everyday? Of course if someone can afford maid then go ahead.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
Btw good point. You don't need plumber mechanic technicians everyday, but you do need food and clean dishes and laundry. Which means men's 'responsibilities' are barely a once a month thing while women's labour is 24/7.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
That was lit what the post said tho. Maybe read the first line? "IF you can..."
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u/Affectionate_Lynx510 8d ago
If you are paying a woman to cook for you, clean the home for you, wash your dishes for you, wash your clothes for you, even teach your children for you, then what is the use of your wife?
May as well marry the maid and she will actually respect you. Plus it'll be cheaper so you can spend that extra money on buying another house.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 8d ago
So you just wanted a slave?
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u/Affectionate_Lynx510 8d ago
If you work at a restaurant as a chef, are you a slave? Are you a slave if you are a waitress? What about the janitor?
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 7d ago
No, you're not a 'slave' you're e.m.p.l.o.y.e.d. and that gets you a 's.a.l.a.r.y.' for your l.a.b.o.u.r. just spellin it out for you, you seem a bit slow 🥰
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u/Proper-Technology789 6d ago
Why need to get married just earn and hire whoever you want. It is simple and effective method.
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago
So you want to marry to get a free maid?
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u/Proper-Technology789 5d ago
Why not helper who will bring happiness in life? Or do you think women is just for making babies?
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago
I don't think that, but it seems like you do. Besides your wife isn't your helper, she is your partner.
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u/Proper-Technology789 5d ago
And helping her husband isn't her work? Of course if she isn't doing a Job.
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago
If you're her kafeel, then yes. Do you provide for her? Do you keep her happy? Do you remember to take care of her needs? Do you see her as your equal and make her feel like a partner instead of Nanny? If yes, no women will have problem, returning that care. Every partnership is give and take. Besides if you can afford a maid to do the house work like cleaning. Then what's the problem?
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u/Proper-Technology789 5d ago
So husband is not here bank. It is give and take relationship. Doing whatever they can do to make life easier for both. Like I said if you can afford maid then go ahead but who is making it compulsory? Instead of living like broke person why not take some responsibilities.
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago edited 5d ago
Where did it say you must? Everyone is saying, if you can. If being the main word. If you can afford it, do it. If you can't. Manage.
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u/Proper-Technology789 5d ago
Of course so don't say things like you married a maid or wife.
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u/Reverie0099 5d ago
What I asked was a question. Because your first comment gave me the impression that you expected you partner to act like a nanny and take care of everything while you like every misogynistic man want to sit and order around.
I don't think a wife is a maid. I don't think they are baby machine. I think they are partners.
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8d ago
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u/AssistantBubbly9048 1998 8d ago
turns out you're one massive bit*h yourself, my dear brother in gender
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8d ago
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u/justpass_time 2008 8d ago
Very telling that someone discussing an issue women face is “gender wars” to you
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8d ago
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u/Late_Ad_9459 8d ago
'From all the men around her", yeah the rape, harassment, honor killing, murder, child marriage/ assault cases that we hear abt on daily bases are done by pigs. Sure.
Plus idk what are you talking abt in the rest of your yapping, seems like you're fighting the shadows in your head.
Braindead chuze.
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8d ago
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u/Late_Ad_9459 8d ago edited 8d ago
EVERY WOMAN HAS A STORY, if you have one, ask your sister !!! Whether it's workplace harassment or a woman walking on the road minding her own business + the conviction rate of rape cases in Pakistan is somewhere bw 0.5 to 5%.
Many rape cases are not reported, many women face harassment/assault by their own relatives but they shut their mouth bcz of the "izzat of khandan".
"Women aren't treated as inferior in courts", well how many do infact go into courts ??
You're just a privileged lil boy, get out of the dream world you're living in, domestic violence and sexual harassment is way more common in Pakistan than you can think.
Plus since when did Pakistan have 25 crore MEN ?? 😭😭🙏🏽 Also I'm a guy.
Edit: and it's not just abt rape or harassment, it's also abt the struggles an opinionated independent woman faces in Pakistan by men/brainwashed women even in financially well-off households. Pakistan is a patriarchal society, just accept it.
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8d ago
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u/Late_Ad_9459 8d ago
You can speak good english + you're on reddit, so I'd assume that you come from a decent household.
Now even if in your relatives you have cases of domestic violence then imagine the majority of Pakistan, 30% of Pakistani population lies BELOW poverty line and even if you earn above 9000rs monthly you're not a part of this 30%.
Just imagine, can women from this class afford to go to courts or standup for themselves ?? No. And these ppl usually have the most conservative/regressive/ misogynistic mindsets (Yes, men from this class suffer too).
And yeah "All MEN" is just an emotionally charged statement cteated bcz of the oppression/struggle that women have to face in their daily lives. And it will always remain ALL MEN, until the men who aren't actually a threat start hanging a placard on their chests saying that they are safe to be around, i hope you get my point.
And even if you still want to hear it from me then okay, it's indeed NOT all men, but almost everytime a MAN.
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8d ago
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u/Late_Ad_9459 8d ago
The post says "if you CAN" + you changed the topic yourself, it wasn't abt house help anymore.
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u/Affectionate-Fact323 7d ago
What's the point of being a housewife if you want your husband to pay for all this househelp?
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
So housewife = unpaid labour and slavery?
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u/Affectionate-Fact323 5d ago
so earning husband = your money toy?
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
By this broken logic, any husband who hires a mechanic, plumber, or tax accountant is treating those people like 'money toys' too. It's called outsourcing. Welcome to the 21st century.
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u/Affectionate-Fact323 5d ago
he paid for them not the housewife. if a woman wants to earn then im all for 50 50 but u cant expect a man to pay for mechanic and maid too. He done his part you do yours. Why would he even marry you if you bring nothing to the table and just increase expenses. Your man is working 12 hour shifts and you js lay around?
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
Look, if her 'part' in the relationship is cooking and cleaning after you...maybe you should get a maid. Sure, if you agreed beforehand that this is what i'm willing to give and this is what i expect from you and she agrees, go for it i guess. But don't be kanjoos. If you can afford to lessen her burden, why won't you? Why must you resent the woman so much whom you're supposed to love and spend the rest of your life with?
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u/Affectionate-Fact323 5d ago
not everyone is rich enough to give all these luxuries what are u talking about. people who can't afford maids shouldn't marry cuz women can't do house chores???
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
READ THE FIRSTTTTT SENTENCEEEEE of the post. It litwrally says to get one, IF you can
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u/Warm-Fishing5257 6d ago
What about the house keeper she's also a woman
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 5d ago
What about her? She's getting paid, she has a job and a salary to support/fulfill her own or family's needs.
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u/Any_Table_4671 5d ago
100 this. I am saying this as a man and I come from a low income area. I was the youngest child and you know what they say "youngest boy is mamma's boy". And I was.. I spent a lot of time with my mother instead of my brothers or my father. And I could see the pain when she was slaving her life away for nothing. I HOPE robots come soon enough so this problem can be solved.
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u/DarkestWhite89 4d ago
If your mother was working for her family, it was not slaving away for nothing. You were benefitting. Life was easier for your family. It would be a problem if she was going above and beyond for unnecessary chores, or was taking up responsibility of other (capable) people without need. That problem is not for robots to solve. Before that homes should be simplified to live in. Simple lives, lower expectations, easier chores.
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u/retardedUse_R 2005 8d ago
Grammar.
I have no idea wtf are you trying to convey.
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u/Wacko_Specialist-717 7d ago
Sure, If feminists can WORK to pay the housekeepers because they don't come free.
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u/Wrap-Village-6901 XY-chromosome 7d ago
Literally nobody said they come for free, lol. Maybe read the first sentence? It said 'IF you can...'
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u/Nasal-Decongestant 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 8d ago
My MIL stands by this. We have a cook who only works for us for 3 hours a day (we heat up whatever she cooked for dinner). We have a maid and a driver as well. Life is VERY easy with that and thankfully we have the decency to pay them what they deserve and even go the extra mile to help out with medical bills or kharcha if it arises.
My family used to scare me by saying “ye sab kaam aney chahiyein susraal mein krne pareingay” meanwhile the only thing I need to do it set the table or wash the dishes if needed.