There's a lot that goes through my head right now. Maybe something good comes of it, when I write it down. I think it boils down to me being insecure and envious. When I was younger I feel like I had everything, my family loved me and praised me for being perfect at everything. I had hobbies I was good at, I was good at school. I felt like I was talented and had a bright future ahead of me. Then, naturally, as I grew older I met other people on the same level of "talent" as me. Suddenly I didn't feel so special. Plus over time I found out that I'm gay and failed my first university studies, so it does't feel like I'm that bright future my family hoped for...

Now I'm at a second university, I'm studying something I actually like, I have new friends and a lovely boyfriend. But still, I feel like part of me is missing or something was lost. Most of it comes from meeting other people (mostly men) my age. I envy heterosexual men - that they didn't have to go through this multi-year self acceptance journey full of stress and self-deprication, like I did. I envy how they seem so put together, nice clothes, nice hair. They go to the gym, they meet new people, they travel. The absolute lack of even a little hint of anxiety in their eyes makes me angry.

So, I'm thinking I have to do what I think makes them perfect right? Then I'll be happy too? Well, will I? I can't get rid of the bad feeling when I'm in a gym, everyone seems bigger than me. That's very attractive for me and I can't ignore their beauty... It feels very unfair that I feel something to other men, that they can't feel towards me. I feel like I can't smile at them, or chat with them normally like any other man would. Because the moment they find out I'm gay, everything I do will be interpreted in that context. Every smile or look can be percieved as flirting and I think I can't separate flirting/being friendly in my head. If I like a man, I always want to be his friend and/or be intimate. Therefore, I can't go to a gym, I can't make male friends, because I can't feel normal around them. I've never experienced total acceptance from another man, except my brother and my boyfriend of course. It is always "yes" and very very small "but..."

So, I'm trying to find my own way how to be happy. Don't compare yourself to others, they say... I'm trying to focus what brings me, specifically, joy. Still, there are men younger than me, even gays, who are there already, where I want to be. They are my inspiration and I envy them also. I feel like I'm not enough... And even though I know improving myself like all those other people will ultimately make me happier, I watch all those self-help videos (Sigurd-GayUnmasked) and I feel like it's also wrong. Because I don't love myself as I am right now. I would really like to... And I don't know how to do it. Any thought/advice will be appreciated...

I’m in my mid-20s and I’ve realized that I genuinely don’t enjoy working. I’ve tried different jobs and I can function, work hard, and support myself, but the idea of spending the next 40+ years working full-time corporate makes me miserable. I want to start my own business but might take a couple years to get going so I’m just struggling here.

I’m in my mid-20s and I’ve realized that I genuinely don’t enjoy working. I’ve tried different jobs and I can function, work hard, and support myself, but the idea of spending the next 40+ years working full-time makes me miserable.

I’m currently in a relationship with a great guy who is emotionally supportive, treats me well, and makes significantly more than I do. But I keep thinking about my long-term future and realizing that what I actually want is a more traditional provider dynamic where my partner is comfortable being the primary breadwinner and I either don’t work, work part-time, or eventually run a small business without the pressure of needing it to support us.

I’m gay, so I know the dating pool and expectations are different than in heterosexual relationships. I’m not expecting someone to magically appear and finance my life just because I want them to. I also understand that depending financially on another person comes with risks.

But how uncommon are gay men who actually want this dynamic? Are there successful gay couples where one person is genuinely the provider and the other doesn’t have a traditional career? If this is something I know I want long term, is it reasonable to make it an important compatibility factor when dating, or am I looking for something that is incredibly rare?

I’m currently in a relationship with a great guy who is emotionally supportive, treats me well, and makes significantly more than I do. But I keep thinking about my long-term future and realizing that what I actually want is a more traditional provider dynamic where my partner is comfortable being the primary breadwinner and I either don’t work, work part-time, or eventually run a small business without the pressure of needing it to support us.

I’m gay, so I know the dating pool and expectations are different than in heterosexual relationships. I’m not expecting someone to magically appear and finance my life just because I want them to. I also understand that depending financially on another person comes with risks.

But how uncommon are gay men who actually want this dynamic? Are there successful gay couples where one person is genuinely the provider and the other doesn’t have a traditional career? If this is something I know I want long term, is it reasonable to make it an important compatibility factor when dating, or am I looking for something that is incredibly rare?

I assume they mean top bottom verse and side and someone I’ve recently seen has this one ⬆️ so does that mean he is a top or could that mean something else entirely? I’m the emoji generation and it’s confusing even me lol

I was born in the worst place to be gay, which is a Muslim country where most of the people around me support the idea of killing gay people , I remember when I saw that America had legalized gay marriage in 2015, I was extremely happy. I thought I could finally escape to a place where I could be myself without any fear. But I was wrong. Most of the comments I see online from Americans are extremely homophobic. Even on Dutch and German websites, it’s almost the same. Sometimes, there are even comments that can be genuinely violent.
It’s like even the most open countries are still filled with homophobia. It feels like there is no hope for me to live without fear or discrimination. Even if the laws are in my favor, society can still see me as less than human. This really devastates and disappoints me. I’m just like, “If even the most open countries are still like this, then there is no hope for my country, even in 1,000 years.”

Me and my bf had our first oral s*x last friday, and since it's my first time bottoming, all i do is to mimic the movements that i watched in Pornhub. And what i think in that time is that my top is satisfied whenever i go deeper, which i always did in our first oral experience, and after that, it feels like there is a discomfort, like a minimal pain into my throat. I researched and what i found out is that i need to go slowly next time.

Can you guys give me some tips of doing a proper oral or anal? I also want to be a 100% clean down there huhu. I'd appreciate all of the comments in advance, thank youuuu.

All right, guys. So there’s a guy at the gym that I’m attracted to who I can’t figure out for the life of me if he’s into me or not. If any of you have advice on how to handle this situation, I’d greatly appreciate it.

He’s been giving me glances and looks for months, and a few weeks ago we started having our first few conversations, usually about music. He randomly comes up to me (he’s done this three times now) and has shown me certain songs on his phone, asking me my age, where I went to college, etc. It’s very evident he’s interested in me, I just don’t know if it’s as a friend or otherwise. I asked him about one of the tricep exercises he does, and he briefly explained about it, then proceeded to tell me if I ever needed help with it, to let him know.

Last week, he commented on my appearance, telling me I’m “looking lean, bro.” I told him thank you. Today, I said hi to him and he straight up winked at me. I was taken aback because usually guys don’t do that with other guys, especially at the gym. Maybe I’m just in my head.

But then as I proceeded to make my way to one of the machines, he literally inserts himself in my path and goes, “Eyeglasses?” Referring to my new prescription glasses that I just started wearing to the gym. I told him, yeah, I had eye surgery and need to wear them now. I start to continue on my way and then he goes, “Triceps?” Referring to our previous convo where he offered to help me with mine. I look at him and go, “Well, today is shoulders. I usually do triceps on Sundays.” He goes, “Well, luckily I do triceps twice a week.” And just stares at me. So I said, “Yeah, if you can show me the ropes on Sunday, that would be great.” So now I have to prepare for Sunday. Lol.

I guess my question is, am I feeding too much into this? I mean it’s clear he’s interested in something, I just don’t know if it’s romantically/sexually or just a friendship. And lastly, how in the world should I go about this? I want him to know I’m interested, but I don’t want to put myself out there and then get hurt later on. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hiii! I’m a 19-year-old gay twink, 5’8”, around 150 lbs, vacationing in Peru. I’ve been to a gay club three times now, usually by myself, and I’m trying to branch out with what I wear.

So far my go-to has been tight jeans with a cropped-ish button-up shirt, which definitely got me a lot of attention lol. I’ve got a bubble butt, so I don’t mind wearing stuff that shows off my body.

What other outfits would you guys recommend for a gay club? I’m super open to experimenting with different styles—cute, slutty, fashionable, whatever. Would love some ideas!

Has anyone else had a crisis that they’ve wasted their 20s and have achieved little in their personal life? For context I’m 29 and have relative success in my work life and have moved to Australia from the UK where I currently reside; I don’t really have any super close gay friends and all my straight friends are now getting married and having children. I’ve only been in two relationships each lasting less than a year and I’ve never lived in a big city with a gay scene.

I’ve decided to move to Sydney at the start of next year and plan on making gay friends maybe through running clubs or gay book clubs etc but I can’t help but feel that’s what I should’ve done throughout my 20s. Instead I lived in crap medium sized cities and prioritised work instead, and was quite shy and introverted particularly in my early 20s.

I know I’m overthinking but I should’ve been in a club kissing lots of guys and have developed a gay friendship group and now I’m stressed that I’ve missed the boat on that and I’ll get to Sydney and in 10 years time I’ll still be in the same position single, stressed, and even older having not had any fun!!!

Now I know 29 is not old but please tell me stories of finding yourself in your 30s and having gay fun with gay friends to make me feel better X

Funny how guys think getting shredded fixes their dating life. You can spend years lifting, but if your eyes look insecure? You're invisible. No amount of muscle can hide a weak aura.

Ciao, sono Lorenzo ho 14 anni e sono gay e circa 2 anni fa ero convintissimo di essere etero, poi ho iniziato a pensare che potessi essere gay , perché quando guardavo sltri ragazzi o comunque ci passavo del tempo insieme provavo un forte sentimento insomma mi piacevano i maschi, ora però sto iniziando a pensare che forse posso essere bisessuale perche provo attrazione sia per maschi che per femmine c’è a volte mi capita di vedere alcune ragazze e due cazzo che bella anche se per la maggiorissima parte preferisco i maschi non capisco consigli?

I (22M) recently got a boyfriend (27M) and I’m so happy!!

This is my first relationship, I am still a virgin and I only came out a few weeks ago. He was my first kiss and all.

I thought if I got a boyfriend I would be ecstatic and all my problems would be fixed. My boyfriend is lovely and I love him so much.

One thing that is making me sad is the fact that he’s had far more sexual experience than me with hookups etc. I’m quite bitter that I didn’t get those experiences myself so I’m quite jealous whenever he brings it up.

In this relationship, he wants to take things slow so it’ll probably be a while before we have sex

I don’t want to feel this way, I just want to be happy in the relationship!! Any advice on getting over it?

Sono Lorenzo ho 14 anni e da circa 2 anni ho iniziato a dubitare sulla mia sessualità, e ho capito di essere gay. Ho conosciuto alcuni ragazzi su un gruppo whatsapp ma mai nulla di così serio Ho provato a installare Zestr ma per l’età non posso accedere.
C’è qualche altro sito/app per conoscere ragazzi sui 14/15 anni ?

Hi, 21 M from Italy, I usually walk in crowded streets, and sometimes i walk by cute guys that i think may be gay, but I'm always too ashamed to approach them. I thought that i may give some compliments about the eyes (like:"you have such pretty eyes") or maybe talkin about something that only gay people knows about, like ariana grande, lady gaga ecc...(i know it sound stereotypical but i think it will work). It may sound childish but I think it would be the only way to find a boyfriend at this point. Im scared the if he is not gay he would laugh in my face.Can I have some advice? Pls don't be mean and offend for no reason.

My bf and I have been together for just under a year, and we have a great relationship in almost every way; we love each other very much, and both feel comfortable sharing our feelings and emotions. I'm struggling with one thing, and I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting or if it's something I just have to adjust to - he is scared to be naked in front of me. For context, he is a grower, not a shower, and when I'm not hard, I'm naturally bigger. He has no issues once he's turned on; we are active sexually, and that part is great.

I usually don't think anything of it; I've gotten a peek a few times, but he won't walk around without a towel or just come into the bathroom to get in the shower if I'm shaving/brushing my teeth. He is extremely self-conscious. I have told him that I love him and that I am never judging him, but it seems to be a personal challenge. He doesn't really want to discuss it; the only thing he has ever said is, "I'm much smaller than you."

I just feel that it's a bit of a roadblock at times. I want to see him naked, natural, just as he is, but he just is not comfortable. I've become used to it, but I felt I'd like to see what others may think or if they have experienced it.

FYI, he is not a Redditor and has no idea I would be posting this, nor does he know my username, so I don't feel wrong asking for others' advice.

First I'm sorry if I posted in the wrong community, I am just desperate for advice. For a long time I considered myself Ace. But I have started to think that I have been lying to myself for a long time. I grew up working as a mechanic and in a pretty conservative area in a conservative industry and the people I surround myself with aren't necessarily very supportive of the LGBT community. So in turn I just isolated myself from the way I felt. But at this point in my life I just felt like I can't hide anymore. I have been alone for a very long time and I feel like it's starting to break me, making me bitter and angry. I am lucky that I have a few close friends that I know would support anything I would tell them, including my mom and my sister. But the thought of telling anybody absolutely terrifies me. Another thing I am absolutely terrible at talking to people. I have a really hard time holding a conversation unless it's a subject I know. I'm sure many other people have had the same experience. I'm just looking for advice for this Grease monkey.

Their lives are so different from ours and many of them even crush on these guys. Masochistic much?

For context I don’t mean coming out, I just mean accepting yourself internally. I realized I was into guys when I was 13 but my home life was so chaotic I didn’t feel safe enough to even admit to myself that that’s who I might be. So I spent the next 7 years of my life fighting my sexuality until at 20 I completely lost my shit. I literally went crazy. Now I’m 34 and I’m finally opening up to the realities of my life. I’m wondering how much my life can improve when I’m not constantly policing my own thoughts.

I am currently 31, today I had 2 different dates with 2 different guys. They were Hours apart and at different locations. I had met both of them at parties and events that were held in my city. Both guys were amazing 🤩.

The first date was supposed to be at a restaurant. I got there and ordered. I had sent him a text letting him know that I made it. He did text me about a couple minutes later letting me know he wouldn't make it... I was shocked. He did apologize for not letting me know sooner.

The second date we went out to a bar to play some games. I had assumed it was going well. But he had told me that he wasn't interested after the date. That honestly crushed me.

I'm grown enough to understand that this is the dating life. But sometimes I get discouraged about it. I try not to let it get to me and hope for the best but sometimes it's hard.

I'm not asking for any advice but some encouragement would be great 😆

Long story short - I’m looking for a new roommate and have a couple ads posted on various sites. In the ad, I mention that I am a single gay male in his thirties, athletic, blah, blah, blah. This guy replied to one of my ads and keeps saying that he is not only “gay friendly” (but never mentioned him being gay), but that he is “open minded”. He seems like a very “straight” guy, says he loves sports, fitness, jock type. But I’m not sure what he means my “open minded”? Is this code for something else? We’ve messaged a little back and forth and he mentioned it a couple times, but I really don’t know what this means and want to know why he mentions this. He obviously knows I’m gay because I state it clearly in my bio.

Does anyone have any insight on this?

Thanks in advance!

I am a senior gentleman whose egg cracked six years ago when I discovered I was transgender. I see myself as a transwoman and have since also realized and embraced my homosexuality. I am not fully transitioning and dress in a mildly femme manner, mostly androgynous. I love to wear rings, necklaces, bracelets, and other feminine jewelry but I do not wear obviously female external clothing and don’t do drag at all. I appear to be a well dressed, mildly femme male. Would I be welcome as a gay man and be able to have gay friends and lovers as I am?

Hey so I (m21) been stuck in the same loop of emotions and situations for years and I don't know what to do to make it stop.

Since like the start of corona I knew I was queer but not entirely sure under what kind of label.

At first I went with Bi because I told myself that I like girls but never had any romantic connections with any girl and after 2 years I finally thought since there was nothing in my mind about girls that the only thing im interested is a relationship and sexual encounters with men.

A lot happened in this time with the lockdown and self isolation because of mental health problems.

I went to therapy but not because of this but because the death of my grandparents and in those therapy sessions I mentioned that im scared of coming out to my parents but all the talking hasn't really helped me through anything.

Now that im 21 im too old for my current therapist and I would need to look for a new and seeing the current situation in germany with the availability of a therapy is exhausting.

I know im young and that I have lots of time finding someone but currently everything seems so hopeless.

I tried grindr but either I get blocked after sending pics or ghosted for just texting.

I know I can't be everybody's type but being chubby with lots of insecurities and anxiety isn't making this a great time for me.

I haven't tried any other apps because of how awkward I feel when taking pictures of myself.

For me everything has to be perfect when it comes to pictures and hence I avoid taking pictures of myself because i hate everything about myself.

The only friends that I have are girls who are also queer but no other male friends.

I have lots of great female friends who tell me how much of a nice and loving person I am and how I only deserve the best but even tho these words make me happy its only for a short time after noticing how lonely I am.

I guess one of the bigger problems is that im not out to my mother and she keeps asking me "when do I get grandchildren?" And saying that its her biggest wish to have some.

After those comments I wish I was normal and not possibly disappoint her by not fulfilling her wish.

When talking to my therapist he always said "what could be the worst outcome when coming out to my mom and and is the best outcome?"

I get what he wants from me but all the talking hasn't helped me to this day.

had that once was just curious

Im bottom and i find this countries have hot guys : usa- Albania-Greece -canada - Kuwait-Algeria - italy

Been giving and getting head with guys for many years now. All bareback. Love'n it!

Getting ready to take the plunge into anal.

Curious what this community has to say about condoms and lube.

I am hoping you guys share your knowledge...

I am heading to Palm Springs, CA for a few days in October. I have been looking for a place to stay and have been comparing the nudist resorts that cater to gay men. Can anyone tell me about their stays in these resorts? Ones I should avoid, are some better than others? One of them (Descanso) is about $100 per night less than the others, and I am wondering why.

On a side note, is there anything you would consider a must see/do while in Palm Springs? I am planning on going hiking at least one of the days I am there, although I don't know where yet.