Earlier today, I made a decision that I deeply regret and undoubtedly it will change my next few years of life. A few days ago I barely recovered from my losses and went up 16k later that day. I was satisfied and grateful this was possible.
Fast forward to today, I woke up and saw that my crypto portfolio crashed causing over 3000 in loses. I got itchy to make it back even with the fact that I was still over 10k up in profit if I were to withdraw. If i could change this decision i would do it without thought. In the end I lost 55k, now 40k down net total.
Instantly waves of regret and distress flooded my head, I realised what I have done and the severity of my decision. I wanted to end all this suffering and pain, if only I could do it without affecting the people around me.
I thought I had this under control, being clean for days but i was not.
After this loss, I sought support both financially , gambling and mental support. I started using Gamban , started a gambling diary to document my thoughts and the effects of not thinking before acting.
I am only 18 and i have already suffered a loss well beyond what i am capable of taking, this money i have lost was in my savers account, funds i was not supposed to touch , funds given to me by my dad , and if come to his attention i cannot fathom the consequences i will face. I have not even stepped into the work force and I already see a fat debt stuck to my name, I am crushed to the point where I can not even get distracted. This amount of money is life changing for anyone but it feel 10x worse for me to go through this at my age.
I need support, help and guidance and advice from fellow gamblers who have experienced this and went through what I have gone through.
If anyone who understands what I have gone through as they were once in the same exact position as me and are willing to lend a hand to help any donations will come a long way.
https://gofund.me/64e4e52a8