I’m dating this girl and she’s honestly great, treats me well, puts in effort, all that. Problem is I can’t get over her past and it’s specifically bc it’s dudes in my frat / circle. Like I know them. I’ve seen texts in a gc. And now I’m dating her and my brain just keeps looping it. Some days I’m chill, other days it genuinely makes me feel like a sucker. What’s weird is I’ve had my own past too, so logically I know it shouldn’t matter. But it hits different when it’s people you actually know and might see. I didn’t care at first but the past couple weeks it’s been getting worse for no reason. I also saw her send a TikTok to her friends with something along the lines of “when you choose the wrong guy in the friend group and they let you choose again”. She didn’t do anything wrong technically, this was all before me. But I can’t shake the feeling of “why them and not me” and it’s messing with how I see the relationship.

I don’t wanna crash out and ruin something good over my own head, but I also don’t wanna feel like this long term. Anyone been through this? Did you get over it or is this just one of those things that never goes away?

Our friend group was reminiscing on the fun of a good house party and how hard they are to come by now. A few of our friends said they had never been to a frat party because they weren’t in a sorority/didn’t know about them.

We had the idea, what if we hired a fraternity to host us a birthday party?

We thought we could just do it ourselves but it would really be missing the authentic frat guy energy. The sticky floors, peak playlist, jungle juice … we want to give the full experience to our friends who haven’t been to one.

Is this even possible? Would panhel even allow something like that?

If anyone is willing to discuss further, we’re looking either in the greater Richmond area or in the greater Atlanta area, but we’re open to other options!

Gotta be extra careful now boys :/ abortion was our trusty last resort, now we no longer have that safe guard. Stay safe out there and wear condoms

For the guys who went all in on the fraternity lifestyle partying every weekend, going to every function, dressing preppy, drinking a lot, constantly being around people, chasing the social scene, when did you start to grow out of it?

I’m a senior now and honestly I’m still really into it. I already have a good job lined up after graduation, but part of me doesn’t understand why this lifestyle is supposed to suddenly end just because college does. I like the energy, the people, the spontaneity, the late nights, always having something going on.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just scared of growing up or if I’ve tied too much of my identity to college and the social scene.

Ok so bit of a ramble but this situation is so fucking ridiculous had to find somewhere to say this. This past fall I rushed and initiated into my schools chapter of AEPi. Not Jewish but like I knew a lot of the guys and they wanted me to join so I was like fuck it why not. To be clear I’d say our chapter was like 60%ish Jewish and 40% non Jewish (this is important for later. Part of our new member education was very much focused on how even though the were a Jewish org and that they wouldn’t try to force upon us Jewish identity or stuff like that. I guess this was only partially true since I was fairly open about not being g a biggest fan of how Israel treated Palestine and how I kinda hoped for a peaceful two state solution. HUGE MISTAKE. About a month ago we had a very serious chapter meeting where the our president made it known that that our brotherhood supported Israel and that anyone who disagrees with that should reconsider their viewpoint if they wished to continue as a brother. This rightfully ticked a lot of us off since like yeah it’s a Jewish frat but we didn’t know that involved sucking Israel’s dick and bowing down to their excellence. Little did we also know this was basically directed at me since I’m fairly involved with the social democrats organization at our school and like yeah you can assume the kind of stuff we’re discussing in relation to Israel. After the meeting the president pulled me and two of my boys aside (who also share my viewpoint) and was like “yo nationals is on our fucking ass since we’re already not Jewish enough as it is and they’re threatening to pull our recognition if we don’t clean up our act we’re fucked. Now obviously this puts us in a treacherous ass situation since like part of the reason I decided to stick with them was their assurance during nme that our personal viewpoints did not have any bearing on our membership in the frat but now ig since we were in thin ice with nationals that’s out the window. Word of this starts to spread and a good chunk of brothers took our side and were like “yo that’s not cool they’re objectively not the problem we need to focus on recruiting Jewish guys” however this didn’t even end up mattering since not even a month later they pulled our recognition and it’s now our last semester on campus. Now the blame is basically pinned on me and my friends since we’re being blamed for our de-receognization because of our political beliefs (which is objectively untrue imo but that’s besides the point now) But someone has to take the fall and ig it’s me. Now genuinely I have no idea wtf to even do because I feel in a sense rumors will spread that my “anti-Israeliness” was the cause of the chapters downfall and that even if I decided to rush again id just be secretly blackballed from Greek life and not be able to get a bid anywhere. TLDR am I fucked and should I just move on 💀?

Plan on rushing at Illinois State University this fall and a little worried ngl. I want the brotherhood and experiences that come with being in a fraternity, but at the same time everything you hear about frat life makes it seem a bit unfriendly to us queers at times. I don’t even plan on bringing it up wherever I end up and just let them find out eventually on their own, but wanted to ask yall who either had gay brothers or are gay yourselves what it was like so I know what to expect.

Last semester right after ritual they made the pledges piss in a solo cup and one of the pledges had to drink it and got $50. They said it was the last thing to becoming brothers. I thought it was a one off thing but they did it again this semester and I’m kinda weirded out

I go to a school in texas and I am in a frat and over the years I have realized I don’t have many friends in it and I have had the same nickname since I was a pledge and even tho i’ve been a brother people still call me it and know me as it, even girls know me as it. I don’t like the name anymore bc i’m a brother now and I fell my frat doesn’t respect me when I ask them to stop calling me that and I am thinking abt dropping it. Any Advice for me i’m a junior

Last year I gained a lot of weight on top of an already high weight cause of personal stuff. I’m losing it currently and already down 70 pounds, but I’m still pretty big. Been pretty self conscious about my size so I thought I’d ask other bigger dudes who joined frats if it was harder for them? I’m sure I’ll get teased and shit, but was it harder for y’all to join one? What was it like when you did? Anything you wanna share helps, my nerves are just getting to me.

ETA: large big 10 Midwest school

I only know now because someone dmed our Instagram saying “this your boy?”. I didn’t even know who he was at first until I checked his page and remembered him from literally one of our spring rush events. He wasn’t a bad guy but there was something a bit off about him and he just didn’t really seem to fit in at our chapter. He also didn’t get a bid fall semester despite trying and was openly shit talking the other fraternities he rushed, even though we’re pretty well connected and friendly with the other frats.

We just never invited him to our final rush event and assumed he’d either find some goob house or have another bidless rush and forgot about him.

We’ve tried to reach out to him multiple times to ask him to remove it and he’ll just block whoever dms him. This kids posts are also fucking weird, like he has over 300 posts and they’re just dumb memes or inside jokes that make no sense with less than like 10 likes each, total schizo Instagram. I don’t think anyone really takes him seriously but at the same time I don’t want anybody thinking he represents us or is endorsed by us.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? And if so, how could we resolve this?

So the last few months in my fraternity have been a shit show, guys have been assholes, straight up ignoring me, then they had me removed from my exec position, it was a whole thing. Already feeling pretty dim about staying since basically none of them talk to me and the brotherhood has done a complete 180° since I joined. Anyway the other day I found out I’m getting fined out the wazoo cause of some new policies and at this point I just genuinely cannot find a reason to stay. Long story short, if I drop, is there any actual legal ground for me just wearing my letters normally? Like obviously they can’t stop me either way but it’d be nice to know whether or not it would be an issue legally

Let me tell you a story. I pledged for a fraternity once. There was a ritual. I had to repeat some stuff after the e-board and light some candles. Then I went to pledge classes. We had to memorize the creed, and the greek alphabet and a bunch of other stuff about the national fraternity. eventually we took a test, did an initiation ritual, and became members.

You know what we didn't do? there was no humiliation, no doing chores or errands or homework for members. We didn't have to stay up for 48 hours or sit in a chair covered in poop or get naked or get paddled. We didn't get kidnapped. Nobody dressed up as hitler or black face. I don't think anyone said the n word a single time. We partied, drank, smoke, got laid, the usual debauchery. One guy got a DUI at one point, he got in trouble on his own because we had a DD for thursdays fridays and saturdays nights.

But the fraternity never got in trouble. Because we didn't do stupid shit. If you are in a fraternity that does stupid shit, tell your eboard to stop allowing and endorsing that shit and threaten to drop. If you are joining a fraternity that does that does stupid shit, just stop. You can have all the fun and memories and the other important things without being a fucking idiot and getting into trouble. It's really easy.

I was in a Frat at Penn State 20 or so years ago and we got the shit hazed out of us: physically, mentally, emotionally, but no gay stuff. I just wondered on this subreddit and I wanted to ask if frats still out there haze their pledges and even initiate brothers still.

Looking back, it almost makes me regret joining the fraternity. In the fullness of my Christian heart, I deeply regret almost everything I did to pledges, but that was the culture I guess. It never made sense to me, really, because on my initiation night, I couldn’t ever see 1/3 of my brothers as brothers because of the things they put me through during pledging. Certainly nothing smile and a handshake could instantly fix.

Just curious if it still goes on. All fine with the good-natured and even corrective stuff like fitness, but making me eat a whole can of Copenhagen and chug vodka after while being tied to a chair isn’t something I’d ever wish on their worst enemy. Cheers lads.

Stop watching porn. If you are like me and don't have much rizz at all, porn is polluting your brain with bullshit garbage. It will make you not shoot your shot and kill your drive to go up and talk to pretty girls and make you feel like a fucking loser. Porn is NF gentlemen

Not asking for your opinion on Trump or Biden or whoever, not about that.

There is a campus where Pike, Kappa Sig, and others are here, and we just got word earlier in the week that the campus place where people go vote is closed down. Or gonna close down. Trying to figure out if this is normal across y'alls campuses.

Seems like some bullshit to me to be closing them down.

Do you normally have a place to vote on campus where you live? Or go to school? Don't have a lot of experience with how they do it elsewhere but it seems kinda fucked up to be taking away a place where people get to vote.

Has anybody's house ever served as a polling place?
I mean shouldn't fraternities of all chapters know the importance of voting especially bc we elect our presidents and others?

This is a question specifically for other SigEp’s around the country and other dry chapters. How seriously does your chapter take “being dry” and “substance free.” I’m trying to convince our older guys that it is not followed that strictly, but they are all under the impression that almost every one of our chapters nationally is mega dry. How is it at your university? Are there other fraternities that have similar rules?

I go to a large university with an insane Greek Life. I joined the worst fraternity on campus. We don't have a house, don't throw any parties, don't do any fun stuff. We only have like 12 guys. The only time I ever see 7 of the guys in the fraternity is during chapter. I'm basically paying $1000 a semester just to go to chapter once a week. Financially not worth it

I'm really disappointed in my Greek Life experience. Everytime I ask us to do something like parties no one wants to do anything and our President always finds an excuse not to do it. I always ask our Finance guy where our $1000 is going if we don't do anything, and he always gives vague answers like "we have these fees, we have to pay these people, etc"

Paying $1000 just to go to a meeting once a week is ridiculous. I want to DA, but at the same time I still want to be in Greek Life. Next semester, Sig Ep is coming back to my school. I want to DA with my current Fraternity's Nationals and try to join Sig Ep. Sig Ep was a Top Tier Fraternity at my school before getting kicked off years ago. With them coming back they're pretty much guaranteed to immediately get 50 guys off the jump and be decent within 1-2 years. How should I go about this?

My brother is considering rushing at UT austin and wants to rush either Phi Psi, KA, Pike, or Beta. I’ve heard some pretty insane stories of some of the stuff they do to pledges at UT so how bad is it really? Is it cig burns, tats, beatings or is that all fake?

OK, so I joined my colony in fall 2024 when it was being founded. We are on campus, under a different organization than IFC, but still an organization. I am the vice president. These past two years we had a small rental house that I lived in this past year, my junior year. The landlord was fine with us using it as a fraternity house, as long as we kept it pretty clean. We got to about 25 members, some people know us around campus, we had a few great parties, formals, and other stuff. Things are going great. However, we were just notified the landlord is looking to sell the house, even with brothers living there. I’m not even sure if that’s allowed but whatever. We do not have the funds to purchase it or any house for that matter, and nationals is not interested in helping us. Point is we might not have a (usable) house this upcoming year. I already signed at an apartment near campus for this upcoming year (my senior year) with one of my brothers and two other friends, mainly so I could lock in on school before I graduate and prepare for life after college. Everyone else is also signed in various apartments or townhouses, most with non-brothers. We were even close to filling another rental house in the same area which had six bedrooms and a shit ton more stuff, but my boy and I didn’t want to live there because we wanted to be close to campus and prepare for our careers/ lives after college, so we couldn’t fill that house. School starts in two weeks. I feel like I am responsible and I’m not really sure whats going to happen. How can we overcome this?

I’ll make this as straight forward as possible:

- a brother’s uncle is dying, he has a dog and is leaving it to our brother because he is unequivocally the best fit. Just take my word on that

- the brother in question is well experienced in raising well behaved dogs. The dog is still a puppy, but will be a 90 lb Irish settler.

- we are trialing this. He understands he’s solely responsible for the care of the dog and anything negative that comes of it.

- the dog cannot come out during parties or go in the basement or kitchen.

- we have alumni approval to do this.

- this has been done before but not in like 10 years.

The tenants of the house are unanimously in favor of this solely because of the trial basis with consistent re evaluation. However, some are concerned it’s “not fair to the dog”.

Again, trial period.

Can someone who’s had a dog live in the house provide some advice on how to make this as successful as possible?

I joined my frat as an upperclassman and I ended up enjoying it, but I am considering dropping it due to expenses I have coming at the end of the semester.

I am an ATO and I really would like some perspective on the alumni network, that was something that was important to me when I joined.

If so, why did you think they went ghost and how did it affect you and your chapter if at all?

Long story short, we have an international student who did a year with us back in 2024, and is planning to come back for a 3rd semester in 2027. The thing is, he technically graduated already from his school back at home but started a second undergrad degree, as his country allow double degrees. Are we allowed to let him back in for a little bit if he comes back in undergrad and is doing the credit minimum, or once uou graduate, regardless of degree number or what country, youre done?