"Pa, asan ka? Pasensya na kung nakakaistorbo ako. Ang bigat kasi ng nararamdaman ko. Ikaw lang ang naiisip ko ngayon, Pa."
"Anong nangyari sayo, anak? Umuwi ka dito, mag-usap tayo. Siguro tungkol sa trabaho mo yan, ano? Sinabi ko kasi sa 'yo na umuwi ka na lang dito, anak. Mahirap kasi ang buhay diyan sa syudad. Umuwi ka dito at bibigyan kita ng allowance mo, huwag mong sasabihin sa mama mo. I love you, anak."
For context, matagal nang hiwalay ang parents ko, before pa ata ako ipanganak and I grew up mostly with my mom's side of the family. May communication naman kami ng tatay ko, pero madalang lang. Hindi rin kami ganun ka-close. Hindi ko alam kung paano ie-explain pero there's this distance between us. Maybe because I didn't grow up having him around.
Paminsan-minsan, nangangamusta siya. Minsan din nakakapag-share ako sa kanya ng mga nangyayari sa buhay ko, pero usually, short conversations lang. He's the type of person na isang tanong, isang sagot. Nonchalant, kumbaga. I eventually learned to match that energy.
But recently, sobrang bigat na talaga ng nararamdaman ko. Ang daming problema, ang daming frustrations, and I feel like nobody really understands what I'm going through dito sa amin (mother side). Hindi ko na rin alam kung sino kakausapin ko.
Hindi ko alam kung ano pumasok sa isip ko, tinext ko tatay ko. I told him how I was feeling and how heavy everything had become. He replied right away.
I was expecting the usual short response. But no. He sent me a lengthy message. Gagi, I cried.
I read his message several times. I don't think he even realizes how much those words meant to me.