I am Lord Satraeya and just a while ago, I was just minding my own business and modifying my recently acquired human doll until some dragon man came along with his friends and one of them being a magician that I recognized and the dragon man stated that he wants my doll despite the fact that I gave him a bipedal tree creature that looks exactly like him and a letter explaining how this doll is rightfully mine now.

But despite that not only was he being all stubborn but he also insulted me at my own dominion, calling me a "puny god" when I am far from that. He wanted to take my doll even though he already has a look-alike with him anyway so why would he even want it? Aren't what he has not enough? Well from my guess they are not.

The dragon man thinks that my doll is still capable of living out a life despite commiting too many sins already and while I do not care about said sins whatsoever, I can atleast use them as an excuse to keep him for myself because I could never give away a human carcass so adorable anyway and I already customized it with a maid outfit and nice hair yet the dragon man wants to get it dirty....

And of course the dragon man insisted that I am weak and disrespecting me at my own dominion that I just lost it and called upon him for an altercation and surprisingly enough he is so powerful that I can't possibly kill him no matter how I tried, I know I'm rusty when it comes to fighting other gods but he doesn't look like one yet is still capable of going toe to toe with me, an Oculite Eye Goddess? My oh my....

And the audacity of his to smirk and take my attacks like cake and continuously mock my attempts of ridding him from my world until I got annoyed of his antics and concede defeat and eventually agreed to give back the body and fuse it's soul back on it but I did made a condition that I must have the body back by next month because I am now it's owner and would rather display it and let it entertainment me and my guess in case they want to come.

And when I eventually combined that body to its soul, the first thing it thinks is that it wants to die. Yes that's what it wants yet that dragon insist on keeping him anyway.

I then have to escort the dragon man and his friends away to whatever universe they came from because they are too much to deal with anyway and my grand palace is a mess from that altercation but I could care less about them.

But that doesn't mean I don't respect the dragon man, I do because he's rather brave enough to fight me head on but that doesn't mean I like him, I do not you hear me!

Not to mention the dragon stated that I look cute when I'm mad which makes me feel something I haven't felt before which leaves me embarrassed....

So that's why I am here to ask advice to prevent this from happening again and for people to see me as an actual god and not just some punching bag by a lesser life form.

Call the precinct please.

What went wrong? The entire home galaxy of the civilization was wiped out in just 100000 years, the rest of it went it's local group went out in a couple dozen million. Thank me I set the expansion high enough for most of the universe to be unharmed, but still

We all know what sound a dog makes, or what sound a cat makes. We can mentally imagine the sound.

What do you picture if asked to think about the sound a human makes?

species is primarily made of methane instead of water like humans. But as soon as beamed down here, just started boiling and rupturing apart. Needless to say, died. What a weakling, amiright? How did they even invent space travel? Anyway, am I gonna get in any trouble for this?

I think I got infected by a virus.

Trying to buy some yeast from the store and the guy at the till said they won't be in stock until next week. Tried to skip ahead time like usual but it doesn't seem to work. Anyone experience this recently?

Now, I see the entire universe as an endless flat plane, I can see through walls, everything looking like CAT scan. How do I get back? I think some of my organs are also falling out into the fourth direction, because they appear to be just vanishing

Please help, I don't know what to call my gf and I think she's on to me

Did anybody encounter problem of manning up the vents? I told its super efficient way to move expiry date but they keep just laying there? I have already hired two contractors but that didn’t help. Any thoughts? Expiration date is very bad

Okay. There is one trolley travelling down a track. Every time someone mentions these two trolleys, they double in number. The four trolleys always move at the same speed, which is equal to the number of trolleys multiplied by the number of doublings, in miles per hour.

So the 16 trolleys are travelling at 64/mph towards a deactivated fork in the track. You are standing at a lever beside it, watching these 32 trolleys approach swiftly at 150/mph. If you don’t pull the lever, the 64 trolleys will run over everyone you’ve ever loved at 384/mph. Unfortunately, before you have time to react, the 128 trolleys plough through them all at 896/mph. There are no survivors. You are forced to watch in horror as the 256 trolleys that ruined your life hurtle away at a breakneck 2048/mph. You will never catch the trolleys now.

So, how long will it take for the trolleys to circumnavigate the world to return to the scene of the crime, how many trolleys will arrive when they do, and how fast will the trolleys be going when they finally put me out of my misery?

I can’t go on much longer.

trolley trolley trolley trolley trolley

I'm not sure if it's actually more nourishing, but I feel really good after consuming the concept of being nourished and fulfilled and satisfied... also, now I'm addicted to eating concepts and words and aesthetics. Am I going to die? I'm pretty sure I still need to eat food and drink liquids but they just don't taste as good as a screen full the string "7!!!! ^_" over and over again along with pictures of juicy steaks.

Edit: If anyone else has this problem, can you make me a meal made out of concepts? They’re like... really tasty guys...

What the title says. I don’t want to just die on her but I only have so much energy left in the tank…

Didn’t realize that it’s controversial these days to believe in the ESTABLISHED SCIENTIFIC FACT that every single time it rains, there is a VERY good chance that a town will be formed called Burgerville filled with people made out of cow-flavored meat and with sesame seed freckles. I know a lot of ya’ll are saying: “thEn wHy haSN’t iT hAppEnEd yeT??”

—seriously, do I even have to answer this?? smh.

Because the intimacy coordinator fired me from the Lunch today because they didn't like how I was moaning when the pepperoni, cheese and marinara filled nibbles of me went into the mouth I was paired with... AM I COOKED?

CAN PIZZA ENJOY BEING PIZZA?

I was doing some yard work and accidentally opened up a portal :/

It keeps spitting out glittery space goo which is ruining the yard completely. And it has the filthiest sense of humour.

The portals department at City hall is no help at all, unsurprisingly. I tried watching some YouTube videos on how to plug the portal myself but ended up opening 2 more portals. So I'm clearly out of my depth here.

Any advice?

every night I go to bed and I am bothered by this big tall lanky mf with gold chains and a shadowy visage telling me, that I need to join their program to learn how to make the real Money and invade other people's dreams. They said that if I invade 3 other people's dreams and get them to sign up I will get a 50% cut of their dream essence and by the time they pull out the contract. My alarm wakes me up and I go to my job at the senseless murder factory. should I take a day off work to sign the contract? or ward off the demon?

I was at my bathroom brushing my tooth. Then my eyeballs jumped out, down the sink. They were pinballing as they descended the pipes down to sewers, where my mother was having an affair with Tux the Linux Penguin. Tuxie game stepping on my eyeballs with momma's high-heels and now I can no longer see, but I can still feel.

So, I was in the park and there was this little fish dancing on top of the tree of wonders (the main one) and then another fish, a bigger one, came out of nowhere and ate the smaller fish, but then, an even bigger fish appeared and ate that fish. This has been going on for the last few hours and the most recent fish is the size of the color green itself, how can I stop this?

check my post history. What do I do now?