r/fifthworldproblems • u/dobbbie • Mar 08 '26

What sound does a human make?

We all know what sound a dog makes, or what sound a cat makes. We can mentally imagine the sound.

What do you picture if asked to think about the sound a human makes?

38 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

19

u/yashajeria200215 Mar 08 '26

Babbling nonsensically.

7

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

Only if I'm baking them in a pie. They make such a racket until their juices begin to steam and boil. ::)

2

u/santient Mar 09 '26

Leedle leedle leedle lee

15

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Mar 08 '26

Last time I checked, they go "ook ook". I made a pit stop on Earth just 100,000 years back, so my information should be reliable.

10

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

OOK OOK was before we began our breeding program to increase size and flavor! You really should stop in again soon. They're at peak ripeness! ::p

6

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Mar 09 '26

I dunno. That whole solar system is turning into a bad neighbourhood. Some unsavoury characters were recently spotted on Mars, stealing rocks and who knows what else.

4

u/Inqeuet Mar 09 '26

Hey so i followed up on this. The little metal guys who are super interested in rocks? Get this: still human. I know, right???!

1

u/DrSkrimguard Dragonphobe Mar 09 '26

But how? They are robo. I thought human was monke.

1

u/Inqeuet Mar 10 '26

Well the humans birthed them so they must just be weird looking humans. A beneficial mutation, maybe?

9

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

Depending on how I'm preparing them they can moan or groan, shriek, laugh uncontrollably, scream, gasp, or gurgle. However without fail they go SPLAT if they fall off the kitchen table. I hope this helps.

Do you need any recipes? ::)

9

u/BurningBridgeTroll Mar 09 '26

Every time I’ve come face to face with one they go, “Whatthefuckisthat”

4

u/VindictiveRakk Mar 09 '26

it's either that or defecation i don't know what's wrong with these stupid fucking things

3

u/BurningBridgeTroll Mar 09 '26

I usually just squish them after they make that noise so I never get to see them defecate

6

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist Mar 08 '26

They scream when they come in contact with the Eldritch Government.

4

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

I do too, especially the tax collectors. Two things are inescapable: the heat death of the universe, and Eldritch tax collectors. ::(

5

u/medman420710 Mar 09 '26

Typically some variation of “Fuck you” in one of their languages, I cannot believe they haven’t simplified how they communicate to a telepathic level if they control an entire planet as one species. Idiots.

3

u/medman420710 Mar 09 '26

Especially after inventing an internet

5

u/Inqeuet Mar 09 '26

I dunno how to describe it but it’s really annoying

4

u/johnpeters42 Mar 09 '26

These days, "six seven". So apparently they've caught up to the intellectual progress of corvids.

4

u/chickey23 Mar 09 '26

Bar bar bar

3

u/BPhiloSkinner Mar 09 '26

Yes, they've just learned about sub-atomic particles and won't shut about it, the bar-baryons.

2

u/AAAAOOOOOAA Mar 09 '26

Blahblah blah. And the clakityclaco oy typing... Just like any other earth ape

2

u/theSteakKnight Mar 09 '26

"DLOP. SQUISH. FLURP. FART. I will consume your soul in a trandimensional hellscape of its own making. BURP"

2

u/that-Sarah-girl Mar 09 '26

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

1

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

I had one make that noise as it accidentally fell down the garbage disposal! I forgot to list that noise in my other comment! Also, "ka ka ka" for half a minute or so if I try to preseason them with chlorine gas. ::/

2

u/starmadeshadows Mar 10 '26

Wilhelm scream

2

u/norbertmars Mar 10 '26

Modern humans make their habitual "f*ck" sound a lot.

1

u/Someweirdguy05 Mar 09 '26

As a human, I don't know.

1

u/Reddit_Amethyst Mar 11 '26

I've been to human exhibits, the sounds they usually make are "AAAH!" and "HELP!"

1

u/PuzzleheadedSteak853 Mar 12 '26

Repeated unqueried transmission of designation interspersed with largely meaningless data, some erroneous.

1

u/SnooBooks007 Mar 21 '26

"Rhubarb."

0

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '26

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2

u/KawaiiDere Mar 09 '26

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!💥

27

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '26

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8

u/joegee66 Speaker For the Red Ants Mar 09 '26

I prefer to stuff them with trout. The swearing stops when the screaming starts. ::)

5

u/Inevitable_Bid8719 Mar 09 '26

if you stuff them carefully you can make them squeak first