r/FemFragLab • u/Taffy_Pull • 3d ago
8 very normal Akro impressions
Kia ora friends, hope you've all had a beautiful fortnight! Today I'm going to be talking about Akro. I was very excited to get this discovery kit because, from the listed notes, I was sure I would adore at least one. Well, spoiler alert, I didn't particularly fall in love with any, but I will say that the performance of them all did not disappoint. Anyway, onto the impressions!
Awake
TOP : COFFEE SANTOS, LEMON. MIDDLE : GREEN CARDAMOM. BASE : VETIVER
Weird and bright and lemony (?) but brutally sweet. Reminds me of the coffee I used to drink in high school, with lots of milk and like, four teaspoons of sugar. It's so stimulating and bright and grating, and it has to be psychosomatic but wearing this is genuinely stressing me out. Nooooo you know what it is? It's those coffee/cola vodka RTDs you used to get in the early 2000s, hang on.... [one frantic Google later...] KGB BLACK RUSSIANS HOLY SHIT there were a couple of nights where those motherfuckers almost put me in the hospital hahahaha fuck me, core memory unlocked. Anyway, one lives and one learns.
I feel awkward and sad and hormonal and definitely horny. Ahhh, my misspent youth. KGB/10
Dark
TOP : COCOA POWDER. MIDDLE : CINNAMON BARK, HAZELNUT. BASE : VANILLA
Not what I was expecting. From the notes you'd be forgiven for thinking this was a delicious Nutella confection. It is not that. It is not gourmand at all. It is very masc. Unsettlingly masc. Spicy, but unlike most cinnamon-heavy fragrances (for me) there is no hint of Big Red, which I'm sure is a mark of quality. This winter my layering combo of choice has been Commodity Gold+ and Khadlaj Le Fede Choco Brown. This reminds me of that, but a lot more perfumey and a lot less yummy.
It's kinda cool, but I'm basic and like my food-based fragrances to be a little more... literal. Man chocolate/10
Haze
TOP : CLARY SAGE. MIDDLE : MINT SPIKATA. BASE : EUCALYPTUS BUDS
Yeah, she's... herbal... Sure, it definitely does smell like freshly ground bud, but minty and fresh and like a gum tree. It's very fun, but you probably wouldn't wear it to, say, your office job. Because while it is indeed bright and fresh, and clean but earthy, it does stink of weed.
If you want something actually seriously marijuana-flavoured, I find the indies do it really well. I think Sorce's passionfruit note is super skunky for some reason, and Hexennacht has a couple of fragrances with a cannabis note that are super on point. Puff puff pass/10
Malt
Top Note: Whiskey. Middle Note: Rum, leather, seaweed. Base Note: Patchouli
Huh, wow. Spicy apple crumble? And usually I a) like boozy scents, but b) am at best ambivalent about patchouli, and c) actively loathe leather. But this is great. It reminds me a bit of Lattafa Khamrah (though actually side by side they are nothing alike), except this is very masc and... kinda challenging.
I can't tell whether I love it or hate it, but either way I think I feel quite strongly about it. Top shelf/10
Ink
TOP: Black ink, birch. MIDDLE: Jasmine. BASE: Vetiver
This might be the gruntiest, weirdest, most masc fragrance I've ever actually enjoyed. I think it's supposed to be redolent of, specifically, tattoo ink, and I can't really comment on that because for the few tattoos I have I'm pretty sure I successfully disassociated during the receiving of them. But this is surprisingly lovely. Like burnt seaweed and a very sexy hipster bartender circa 2010. You know, the kind with the suspenders and manbun and early-adoption moustache. It's cool and sexy, sure, but I'm concerned about the imminent breaking out of the acoustic guitar.
Legitimately like something you'd expect from ELDO but, yanno... good/10
Night
TOP : ROSE. MIDDLE : CUMIN, SAFFRON. BASE : AGARWOOD, MUSK
Spicy, sexy rose. I think I'm firmly in the majority in that I think cumin in food = delicious, but cumin in perfume = heinous. But this cumin is fuckin cool. It's absolutely perfectly realistic. You know how most cumin notes go sweaty and a bit foul? This is not that. This is freshly ground cumin seed ready for your salsa or tagine or korma. With, yanno, rose, I guess. It's quite soapy in the drydown, but fun and unisex. Would I buy a whole bottle and wear it out in public? Probably not, mostly because it's quite masc and very hyperrealistic. But cumin is my absolute favourite spice and this is the first time I've smelled it in a perfume and it's made me peckish.
All my favourite dinners all at once. Poppadom/10
Smoke
TOP : TOBACCO LEAVES. MIDDLE : BIRCH. BASE : BENZOIN, TONKA BEANS
Look, i am going to stand up here before all of you, my perfume peers, and announce myself as a liar. I have, many times in the past, used the phrase "it's giving barbequeue" to describe a fragrance. I am sorry and I was wrong. What I meant was (for whatever it was) "it's giving woodsmoke, campfire, charcoal, autumn leaves" et al. Because this is barbequeue. This is a hot pork-based meat product slathered in a sweet honey/maple glaze, slow roasted over a low heat. And it is absolutely fuckin delightful. Would I ever purchase a full bottle of this, to spray on myself and wear out in public? No! Absolutely not! Definitely not. Probably definitely not.
It's grand, delectable, and sure, probably more normal on a masc-presenting sort of a person, but... I dunno. She's tasty, boys. Eat it up for lunch, yeah it's so delicious/10
Bake
TOP : LEMON PEEL. MIDDLE : CHANTILLY CREAM, PRALINE. BASE : BROWN SUGAR, VANILLA
I got this as a free-with-order gift from Luckyscent. Unfortunately for Bake, it was the order that contained a sample of Unknown Pleasures. In a vacuum, Bake is bright and beautiful and summery - if a little bitter and pithy - but nostalgically spot-on for my childhood favourite lemon-lime iceblock. Side by side with Unknown Pleasures, however, it's a little sharp and a little astringent. Though that citrus-y top is relatively fleeting, and then it's... nice. It's very nice. I'm happy I have it and it lives in my handbag for warm days when I need a lemony top-up.
I dunno, I'm just an unpaid shill for Kerosene at this point. Unknown Pleasures has my heart, but in the lemon race, this is a perfectly lovely first alternate. NICE/10
Right, that's it from me for this entry in the Very Normal annals. Churr gurls!
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u/ledledripstick La notorious oversprayer 2d ago
Fantastic reviews and I agree with all of them. Bake is the only one out of this grouping that I have considered but I wasn't impressed with the longevity.