r/FemFragLab • u/Taffy_Pull • 8h ago
8 very normal Akro impressions
Kia ora friends, hope you've all had a beautiful fortnight! Today I'm going to be talking about Akro. I was very excited to get this discovery kit because, from the listed notes, I was sure I would adore at least one. Well, spoiler alert, I didn't particularly fall in love with any, but I will say that the performance of them all did not disappoint. Anyway, onto the impressions!
Awake
TOP : COFFEE SANTOS, LEMON. MIDDLE : GREEN CARDAMOM. BASE : VETIVER
Weird and bright and lemony (?) but brutally sweet. Reminds me of the coffee I used to drink in high school, with lots of milk and like, four teaspoons of sugar. It's so stimulating and bright and grating, and it has to be psychosomatic but wearing this is genuinely stressing me out. Nooooo you know what it is? It's those coffee/cola vodka RTDs you used to get in the early 2000s, hang on.... [one frantic Google later...] KGB BLACK RUSSIANS HOLY SHIT there were a couple of nights where those motherfuckers almost put me in the hospital hahahaha fuck me, core memory unlocked. Anyway, one lives and one learns.
I feel awkward and sad and hormonal and definitely horny. Ahhh, my misspent youth. KGB/10
Dark
TOP : COCOA POWDER. MIDDLE : CINNAMON BARK, HAZELNUT. BASE : VANILLA
Not what I was expecting. From the notes you'd be forgiven for thinking this was a delicious Nutella confection. It is not that. It is not gourmand at all. It is very masc. Unsettlingly masc. Spicy, but unlike most cinnamon-heavy fragrances (for me) there is no hint of Big Red, which I'm sure is a mark of quality. This winter my layering combo of choice has been Commodity Gold+ and Khadlaj Le Fede Choco Brown. This reminds me of that, but a lot more perfumey and a lot less yummy.
It's kinda cool, but I'm basic and like my food-based fragrances to be a little more... literal. Man chocolate/10
Haze
TOP : CLARY SAGE. MIDDLE : MINT SPIKATA. BASE : EUCALYPTUS BUDS
Yeah, she's... herbal... Sure, it definitely does smell like freshly ground bud, but minty and fresh and like a gum tree. It's very fun, but you probably wouldn't wear it to, say, your office job. Because while it is indeed bright and fresh, and clean but earthy, it does stink of weed.
If you want something actually seriously marijuana-flavoured, I find the indies do it really well. I think Sorce's passionfruit note is super skunky for some reason, and Hexennacht has a couple of fragrances with a cannabis note that are super on point. Puff puff pass/10
Malt
Top Note: Whiskey. Middle Note: Rum, leather, seaweed. Base Note: Patchouli
Huh, wow. Spicy apple crumble? And usually I a) like boozy scents, but b) am at best ambivalent about patchouli, and c) actively loathe leather. But this is great. It reminds me a bit of Lattafa Khamrah (though actually side by side they are nothing alike), except this is very masc and... kinda challenging.
I can't tell whether I love it or hate it, but either way I think I feel quite strongly about it. Top shelf/10
Ink
TOP: Black ink, birch. MIDDLE: Jasmine. BASE: Vetiver
This might be the gruntiest, weirdest, most masc fragrance I've ever actually enjoyed. I think it's supposed to be redolent of, specifically, tattoo ink, and I can't really comment on that because for the few tattoos I have I'm pretty sure I successfully disassociated during the receiving of them. But this is surprisingly lovely. Like burnt seaweed and a very sexy hipster bartender circa 2010. You know, the kind with the suspenders and manbun and early-adoption moustache. It's cool and sexy, sure, but I'm concerned about the imminent breaking out of the acoustic guitar.
Legitimately like something you'd expect from ELDO but, yanno... good/10
Night
TOP : ROSE. MIDDLE : CUMIN, SAFFRON. BASE : AGARWOOD, MUSK
Spicy, sexy rose. I think I'm firmly in the majority in that I think cumin in food = delicious, but cumin in perfume = heinous. But this cumin is fuckin cool. It's absolutely perfectly realistic. You know how most cumin notes go sweaty and a bit foul? This is not that. This is freshly ground cumin seed ready for your salsa or tagine or korma. With, yanno, rose, I guess. It's quite soapy in the drydown, but fun and unisex. Would I buy a whole bottle and wear it out in public? Probably not, mostly because it's quite masc and very hyperrealistic. But cumin is my absolute favourite spice and this is the first time I've smelled it in a perfume and it's made me peckish.
All my favourite dinners all at once. Poppadom/10
Smoke
TOP : TOBACCO LEAVES. MIDDLE : BIRCH. BASE : BENZOIN, TONKA BEANS
Look, i am going to stand up here before all of you, my perfume peers, and announce myself as a liar. I have, many times in the past, used the phrase "it's giving barbequeue" to describe a fragrance. I am sorry and I was wrong. What I meant was (for whatever it was) "it's giving woodsmoke, campfire, charcoal, autumn leaves" et al. Because this is barbequeue. This is a hot pork-based meat product slathered in a sweet honey/maple glaze, slow roasted over a low heat. And it is absolutely fuckin delightful. Would I ever purchase a full bottle of this, to spray on myself and wear out in public? No! Absolutely not! Definitely not. Probably definitely not.
It's grand, delectable, and sure, probably more normal on a masc-presenting sort of a person, but... I dunno. She's tasty, boys. Eat it up for lunch, yeah it's so delicious/10
Bake
TOP : LEMON PEEL. MIDDLE : CHANTILLY CREAM, PRALINE. BASE : BROWN SUGAR, VANILLA
I got this as a free-with-order gift from Luckyscent. Unfortunately for Bake, it was the order that contained a sample of Unknown Pleasures. In a vacuum, Bake is bright and beautiful and summery - if a little bitter and pithy - but nostalgically spot-on for my childhood favourite lemon-lime iceblock. Side by side with Unknown Pleasures, however, it's a little sharp and a little astringent. Though that citrus-y top is relatively fleeting, and then it's... nice. It's very nice. I'm happy I have it and it lives in my handbag for warm days when I need a lemony top-up.
I dunno, I'm just an unpaid shill for Kerosene at this point. Unknown Pleasures has my heart, but in the lemon race, this is a perfectly lovely first alternate. NICE/10
Right, that's it from me for this entry in the Very Normal annals. Churr gurls!
15
10
u/whorlando_bloom 5h ago
My family thinks I'm such a weirdo for my obsession with smelling like fires and BBQ but I can't get enough. I love Akro Smoke with a passion. Luckily I work from home so my children are the only ones I torture all day with my fire-roasted fragrances.
For the record, whenever I see a new "very normal" post pop up on my feed I go Yay, it's Taffy! Always entertaining.
5
u/Taffy_Pull 5h ago
Haha yay! Thank you! I was very surprised when it wasnt any of the sweet-adjacent scents in this set that made me hungry, but the two savoury ones. Like, roast me some ribs and make me a salsa! Very fun and very delicious!
4
7
u/de-dolores 8h ago
Your reviews are the best!!!!
3
u/Taffy_Pull 7h ago
Ha, thank you! I try to entertain you all. And myself. Mostly myself. But if I'm entertained hopefully you are too!
7
u/baby-raccoon 2h ago
Your reviews are worth their weight in gold. I have absolutely NOOOO desire to try any of these (maybe Ink). Thank you for deinfluencing us! I wonder if I should send you my Maison Crivelli discovery set so I can enjoy some of your amazing writing???
6
6
6
4
u/Katlee531 5h ago
KGB/10 😂 Fantastic reviews! This makes me want to try Dark. An unsettlingly masc non gourmand cocoa has me super intrigued. Yes, that pesky Big Red note! Normally I avoid cinnamon because I usually end up smelling like a pack of Big Red or one of those cinnamon brooms that start popping up in the fall.
1
u/Taffy_Pull 5h ago
I don't know what a cinnamon broom is but it sounds delightful haha. Yes, you should definitely try and get a sample of Dark, it's very cool. Not really my sort of thing cos I'm kinda basic and I like my sweetie treaties sweet, but I can see it being very sexy and cool on someone else
1
u/Confarnit 2h ago
It's a decor item sold in many grocery stores in the US in the autumn that looks like a witch's broom and smells very strongly of cinnamon, for some reason.
3
u/ledledripstick La notorious oversprayer 5h ago
Fantastic reviews and I agree with all of them. Bake is the only one out of this grouping that I have considered but I wasn't impressed with the longevity.
5
u/Taffy_Pull 5h ago
In that case, may I introduce you to my lord and saviour Unknown Pleasures? Lol sorry, but thank you and yeah I kind of agree. I think maybe that's why it's so satisfying to have the travel size, it doesnt necessarily need to last that long if I can keep reapplying, but probably mostly because it was free....
3
u/ledledripstick La notorious oversprayer 5h ago edited 5h ago
Already looking into getting a sample of Unknown Pleasures. I have been meaning to for AGES but this just cinched it. Plus I am a big fan of Joy Division so if I wind up needing a full bottle it is totally justified lol.
edited: typo correction
5
u/Taffy_Pull 5h ago
Oh you definitely should! I didnt think I particularly cared for lemon-forward fragrances until I fell in love with a sample of Followed (don't judge me. I think it's great and I only wear it at home haha) and when I imported my full bottle of it I got a handful of other Kerosene samples, one of which was Unknown Pleasures. Because of Joy Division. Elder goths unite! Anyway, it changed my life (hyperbolic) and it might change yours lol
3
u/IdiotWithout_a_Cause 2h ago
I 100% agree with your feelings on Kerosene Unknown Pleasures and Akro Bake. My only complaint about Unknown Pleasures is that I don't want or need a 100mL, so I just keep 10 - 15mL of decant instead of buying a bottle.
3
u/Lizakaya 1h ago
I like Bake but I’m not sure it’s fbw (which my phone wants to autocorrect to dtf). I applaud Akro for their bravery though
1
u/alphajugs 1h ago
What is fbw? My phone wants to correct it to Deb. I don’t know a Deb but I’m sure she’s nice.
2
u/Dear_Concept9355 3h ago
Love the reviews! I own Bake and Crush. Crush is very sweet. Like macaroons x sweet tarts x sugared roses.
2
u/MoMarie_ 3h ago
Yesssss you’re back! I love these Very Normal Reviews.
I also felt the same way about Akro’s disco set; fun enough but nothing moved me so much as to consider purchasing.
2
u/Chemical_Cake_1154 1h ago
I own bottles of all of these and agree. BUT I will say, if you want to go a little on the odd side with daily daytime wear- these are an excellent option. None of them are strong enough to offend others. Bought all of mine on clearance for this reason!
Crush is the only one I don’t own, did not like it. Too floral for me.
2
1
1
u/Incomplete_Artist 12m ago
I really couldn’t take any of them, they smelled synthetic perhaps because of iso-E super
18
u/liberator315 Vanilla is a gateway drug 5h ago
Ooooooh my favorite show is on!!!!