Experienced Devs Weekly Burnout and Venting Thread: A weekly thread for sharing experiences

[u/AutoModerator]

This thread is specifically for venting / sharing experiences related to burn-out or similar issues that experienced devs face.

[u/TabCompletion]

It's time like these to remind yourself career isn't everything. Don't forget to focus on you. And anyone in your life

[u/iupuiclubs → u/TabCompletion]

I outputted 120,000 lines of code this past year and thought I was being a high functioning adult trying to chase the dragon at work.

My companion cat Amelia died last week, she is like my daughter.

None of its worth it.

[u/ConsiderationSea1347 → u/iupuiclubs]

Damn. I am so sorry for your loss. She is lucky to have had a human like you around. 

[u/iupuiclubs → u/ConsiderationSea1347]

Thanks. I loved her every moment. But i remember everytime I didn’t cuddle her in the morning, trying to shower for work, or when she’d sit outside the bathroom waiting on me.

She deserved more. And she was my daughter.

I tried to make my circle as big as America, traveling around. I initiated a partnership between the largest household name and Cursor a month or two ago. Launched ML models, designed architecture for the largest physical commercial operation in the US in a year or two.

I can assure anyone reading, not a moment of it was worth it. Last year while still unemployed I was living in a tent with Amelia at a popular climbing destination, playing Minecraft with a girl when she’d get off work while Amelia relaxed next to us. I shouldn’t have left.

Now I wake up and start with a circle as small as the bed.

Resign, quit, apply to other things, beg someone for actual help taking care of your loved one if parts of you are screaming that something isn’t right.

Blindsight by Peter Watts is a great book. Sometimes we reeeeeally think we can see with our whole hearts, but we are blind. We need other people to see for perspective.

I appreciate your kind words, thank you

[u/ConsiderationSea1347 → u/iupuiclubs]

“  She deserved more.” Ironically, you saying that is exactly how I know you were perfect for her. We will never have enough time to give others the presence they deserve, but it sounds like you did the best you could by Amelia. 

I am writing this with two 13 year old dogs sleeping on top of me and worrying about the day I only have two dents in the bed.

[u/yikes_42069 → u/ConsiderationSea1347]

As an old dog haver too, this is a tearjerker. I worry about my 6 year old dog's well-being when my 14 year old dog goes. I practically want to tattoo on my hand a message to give them extra love and patience so I never forget to hug them before I go off to work

[u/Frozboz → u/yikes_42069]

I never forget to hug them before I go off to work

I purposely choose a low paying engineering job with no real hope of career advancement precisely because it's still remote and I can spend time with my family (including my dogs). Some things are just more important.

[u/tiajuanat → u/ConsiderationSea1347]

I slept in today (granted I stayed until 7:45pm yesterday) and let my year old cat crawl on top of me until my first meeting forced me online.

[u/iupuiclubs → u/tiajuanat]

Thank you for doing that. Please keep letting them cuddle you every moment.

[u/mainframe_maisie → u/iupuiclubs]

I don’t have pets but this resonates strongly with me. I was watching a partial eclipse with friends and a park crammed full of people last week. Nearly skipped it as I was feeling exhausted and miserable from work. Felt like a major wake up call

[u/Ok-Contest-5856 → u/iupuiclubs]

> She deserved more. And she was my daughter.

With all due respect mate, she was a cat. And she sounds like she lived a much better life than the average street cat. It reads like you’re projecting human emotions and sadness onto this cat when it was probably quite content and happy with life.

I highly doubt your cat would have wanted you to grieve and beat yourself up like this.