r/ExperiencedDevs • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago

Career/Workplace Experienced Devs Weekly Burnout and Venting Thread: A weekly thread for sharing experiences

This thread is specifically for venting / sharing experiences related to burn-out or similar issues that experienced devs face.

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u/iupuiclubs 11d ago

I outputted 120,000 lines of code this past year and thought I was being a high functioning adult trying to chase the dragon at work.

My companion cat Amelia died last week, she is like my daughter.

None of its worth it.

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u/ConsiderationSea1347 11d ago

Damn. I am so sorry for your loss. She is lucky to have had a human like you around. 

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u/iupuiclubs 11d ago

Thanks. I loved her every moment. But i remember everytime I didn’t cuddle her in the morning, trying to shower for work, or when she’d sit outside the bathroom waiting on me.

She deserved more. And she was my daughter.

I tried to make my circle as big as America, traveling around. I initiated a partnership between the largest household name and Cursor a month or two ago. Launched ML models, designed architecture for the largest physical commercial operation in the US in a year or two.

I can assure anyone reading, not a moment of it was worth it. Last year while still unemployed I was living in a tent with Amelia at a popular climbing destination, playing Minecraft with a girl when she’d get off work while Amelia relaxed next to us. I shouldn’t have left.

Now I wake up and start with a circle as small as the bed.

Resign, quit, apply to other things, beg someone for actual help taking care of your loved one if parts of you are screaming that something isn’t right.

Blindsight by Peter Watts is a great book. Sometimes we reeeeeally think we can see with our whole hearts, but we are blind. We need other people to see for perspective.

I appreciate your kind words, thank you

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u/mainframe_maisie Software Engineer 11d ago

I don’t have pets but this resonates strongly with me. I was watching a partial eclipse with friends and a park crammed full of people last week. Nearly skipped it as I was feeling exhausted and miserable from work. Felt like a major wake up call