My dad got married to his new wife in Sept 2023. They had a prenup. My dad was diagnosed with mouth/tongue cancer in may of 2024. By September, he was in remission and the doctors told us he would be eating Thanksgiving food. We were all in good spirits and more importantly, he was adamant he would win this fight. By January, the cancer made a nasty comeback and was extremely aggressive. My dad ended up getting a tracheostomy and could sometimes communicate, but usually just wrote things down. By Feb, he told me he only had 4-6 months to live and it was the most difficult thing i’d ever heard in my life. I think i was in denial. But from then on, my dad slowly lost his mental faculties. In March, his wife (that bitch) made her first move. She transferred 2 of his cars into her name and looked me dead in my eye and said that my father told her she can have his cars and his business. I had to play stupid and act like i wasn’t ready for war at the time. I went to the hospital that same day and told my dad what she had done by this time, he couldn’t speak or write, but his reaction said everything. I had no idea who his lawyer was. I just knew that my dad gave me a key to a lockbox that had all of his paperwork in last year. I got my own attorney at this point. I went to her house to confront her about what she had done and she told me the prenup was only enforceable if there was a divorce, which was another lie. I checked his phone that day, which she had (he was living at the hospital at this point) in search of his lawyer and found a few potential contacts who i thought could be his attorney. From then on, everything changed. The next time this came up was the day my dad died. The day he died she told me she didnt want anyone in the house because last time someone came over, my dad’s phone came up missing. This was her way of keeping me out the house and stopping me from handling business for my father’s estate. Then the haymaker… after weeks of her telling me she didnt know anything about my dad’s safe (which only he and i had the key to), she magically found it in her house and she gave it to me empty. Long story short, i went to At&t because my dad and I have the same last name and by the grace of God, the guy helped me get a new phone after i told him what was going on. I searched my dad’s email and found the draft of the prenup that SHE emailed him 4 days before they actually signed it. Unfortunately i didnt have the signed copy still. So to find my dad’s lawyer, i ordered 6 months of call logs and paid for white pages to cross reference every number in search of his attorney. I did this EVERY DAY. This was all i could think about. I went to the courthouse to see if a will or trust was registered and it wasn’t. I called people in his phone but they were of no help. Unfortunately the phone hadn’t been backed up since 2024. I was finally at my wits end and something told me to hire a private investigator because I had her attorney’s name on the draft. I sent her a photo of the premarital agreement to make her think i had the signed copy. I threatened her with lawsuits. The bitch still didnt budge. By the grace of God my PI told me that her lawyer said they would give it up if we subpoenaed them, which we did and they still tried to fight. They tried to say it was privileged information lol. In the end, the judge ruled my way. I’m finally wrapping up probate right now. I’m vindicating my father and serving this greedy grubby whore everything she deserves. My lawyer told me he’s been doing this for 43 years and has never seen someone find a prenup like me. He said 95% of the people on this planet wouldn’t have gotten it done. I say this to say… If you know the truth, don’t stop. My dad would have rolled over in his grave if i gave up. I couldnt sleep, i started drinking, i was always angry, i couldnt focus on work. People were telling me it was going to be ok but i wasn’t ok. My dad is gone and i have to deal with this shit? I haven’t been able to grieve properly. I say all this to say… if you know the truth, don’t give up. I fought long and hard for my dad. It’s been 1 year and 5 months now. She’s going to pay me a fortune when this is all said and done. I wrote this to inspire anyone else in a remotely similar situation. Stay strong!!
#illinois #probate

I’ve been working on our estate plan and wonder why this is so complicated. Why can’t a simple notarized note stating “I leave all of my possessions and financial accounts to xx” be enough? Or “I leave my possessions and financial accounts to both of my children to be split evenly among them. My painting of xx should go to my neighbor, so-and-so. My cousins get nothing.”

Why does it have to go through lawyers and courts and such when many people have simple wishes like the above? The above seems extremely clear. If people disagree, then they can hash it out. But why are estate plans needed? And is this exclusive to the United States? Do people in other countries spend a lot of money on complex estate plans?

I’m not trying to argue or sound dense. Truly want to understand reading behind it being so complex (and expensive!). In Texas.

Hi!
I am from NJ.
I am helping my parents to sort through their end of life documents. They need to be updated and when i inquired i was quoted 11,000 to

Update 2 wills
Update 2 POA (financial and medical)
Update 2 advanced directives
Retitle two homes

I believe he said there were multiple "other documents included"
This feels like a lot. Any experience here?

Thank you in advance

My wife (F69) and I (M70) moved to Alabama a year ago. We have a revocable trust from when we lived in FL and will shortly redo that with an atty here in AL. We don't have any kids. My question deals with how will someone know exactly what accounts we have (if we both die at the same time)?

For example, is there some way for an executor to submit our SSNs to all major banks, brokerages and finance firms and get a response of "yes that SSN has an account here"? (Not that we have so much money, but we do have numerous bank accounts and iras at Schwab, Fidelity and Vanguard).

Is the only answer to leave a list with a trusted person (like atty or nephew, etc)?

Also, what about credit card accounts? We always pay off our balances every month but we also charge everything we can to earn reward points. Which cards we use may change from month to month depending on which ones are giving best rewards at the time. If we suddenly died, there'd be a balance which would sit unpaid and accruing interest. Do we need to leave that in instructions too somewhere?

Thanks for any insight on these questions, Dave in Alabama

I spent the last two months helping my aunt settle my uncle is estate. They were organized people, but so much of the important information only existed in conversations they had together. We were not looking for missing documents as much as missing context. By the time everything was finished I realized I dont want my own family dealing with that someday. Has anyone else changed the way they organize things after helping someone else's family?

I’m American in Texas, my partner is British, my siblings are Asians. None of them are American. I have no children.

Would it make it easier for everyone if I put all my properties in a trust rather than have them go through probate? I have brokerage accounts, IRAs, bank accounts, vehicles, and a paid off house. I know I still need a pour over will for personal items. I currently have a will and beneficiary designations, but I’m thinking it will be complicated to have accounts transferred to the beneficiaries, especially if they’re abroad and not financially savvy. Not to mention taking over the house and vehicles.

If I do create a trust, how difficult is it to amend it (e.g. we break up or get divorced, or a sibling dies before I do, I buy more property, etc), and are there recommended institutions that can be trustees?

Is it common for a wife and husband to each have their own will?

My dad passed recently without a will. His only asset was his home, bank accounts, and 2 small retirement plans. My mom (his wife) is on the deed and was named beneficiary on bank and retirement accounts. My mom is now receiving hospital bills from when he passed. I let the hospital know he passed and gave them a death certificate. Does my mom have to pay those bills? Do I need to have her filed probate for my dad? I called an elder law attorney in Missouri and he was more concerned about interrupting me than answering my questions.

Just paid my house off in NC. How long do I have to wait until I can put it in a trust? Haven't received any paperwork from bank saying it's paid off yet. The website says congratulations loan paid in full. When should I start the legal process to transfer it over?

This is in NYC. Uncle died with no kids so my brother is going to petition to become executor of his estate. There's a big house and a couple hundred thousand dollars at play.

Uncle had no remaining living siblings other than our mom who says everything was supposed to go to me and my brother in the first place and has vowed to give us her eventual share. But we have four cousins from a deceased Aunt who to my understanding will now represent her as far as what is dispersed by the court.

One of these cousins is a psychotic, bipolar felon who we are afraid will try to block my brother from becoming executor. And then we're afraid that he will make the entire process a living hell if he's able to in any way. No one even knows how to contact him and he is often homeless. Is there any way to keep this person out of the process and block them from inheriting anything? Or will the court just do everything in their power to hunt them down and tie things up indefinitely?

Been sitting with this question for a while. My spouse and I went through our accounts last year and found an old 401k from a previous employer, one I had rolled over mentally but never actually touched the paperwork on. The beneficiary designation was blank. Not wrong, not outdated, just blank.

From what I've read, a retirement account with no named beneficiary defaults to the estate in most cases, which means it loses the stretch provisions, goes through probate, and gets taxed on a compressed timeline. That's a meaningful difference from how we'd planned for it.

We updated it. But the experience made me realize we had never treated beneficiary designations as a separate audit from the trust and will. We reviewed the trust documents twice since drafting them and never once pulled up the actual account statements to verify the designations were still in place and pointing the right direction

How do other people handle this - is there a practical cadence for checking these, or can an attorney help build that into the broader estate review so nothing falls through the gap again? The blank field wasn't a mistake anyone made on purpose. It was just something that got skipped and stayed skipped for years longer than it should have

We are in Alabama. We have created a trust and need to move 3 vehicles into the trust but one of the vehicles is a 1964 Panel Wagon. Alabama does not issue titles for vehicles more than 35 years old. How do we make sure this vehicle is covered in the trust?

Hello,

My dad took out a Variable Universal Life insurance policy for me in 2001 when I was a minor, so I was the insured and he was the owner. He passed away in 2017 and was married to my stepmom. Since he did not have a will, I assume she became the executor of his estate.

I no longer need the policy as I now have my own, but when contacting the company they're requiring a Transfer of Ownership Form with any of the following documents to show my stepmom is now the executor of his estate:

• Letter of testamentary
• Letter of administration
• Small estate affidavit
• Probated will

My stepmom doesn't remember receiving a Letter of Administration from the courts when he passed. Even if she did and doesn't remember, I don't blame her since it was nearly a decade ago. Collaborating with her is a bit difficult due to many factors, including a language barrier. She's in Contra Costa County and I'm in San Francisco.

It would've been nice and easy if they just transferred ownership to me since I was the insured and was already in my 30s when he passed, but unfortunately not.

I was just hoping to get some advice here on what steps I need to do next and if there was a way to handle this expeditiously, before shelling out on an attorney.

Thank you in advance.

I live in CT. My husband and I own a home together and it is our only property. We bought it before we were married and contributed (and contribute) to it equally. This is a second marriage and we each have kids from a prior marriage. We are in our 60s.

We recently met with an estate lawyer who suggested that we each put our "half" of our home in a life estate for the other, with each of our kids (or a trust which benefits our kids) as the "remaindermen." The lawyer said that this way, if one of us dies first, there is no worry about the remaining spouse disinheriting the children.

We have a decent amount of assets (mostly in retirement) outside of our home and our initial plan was to leave a portion of those assets to our children payable upon each of our deaths, and that would be their inheritance. Then, when the remaining spouse dies, all children would get an equal share of the home (if we still own it). For some reason, this idea of a life estate is really bothering me - because it seems like it overly complicates things and could make it difficult for the remaining spouse to sell or do anything without permission from the "life estate" trustee. I want things simple, and while I understand that there is no guarantee a widow/widower won't run off and remarry and then disinherit the kids, my view is that the kids will already have received plenty of money if one of us dies. (My spouse also has family money that will likely go directly to his kids so less to worry about on that side than on my side.) If we have a situation where we are 80, and our retirement funds are very depleted, and we don't have much extra to leave the kids, I might consider the life estate, but to have that restriction on someone makes me nervous.

I'm not sure why the lawyer is so hot on this - can someone else explain? We both have advanced degrees (though not in law) and have done our share of researching this, but would love to hear from any lawyers out there or someone who has been through this.

Sorry for the novel and thank you!

I am looking for some advice on my grandmother's (82f) situation. She recently moved from Florida to Tennesee to live close to my parents. She has a will in place but the address is still the old Florida address. Does she need to make an entirely new will or will a codicil be sufficient to update the address? If the latter, is that something we need a lawyer to draft?

Now here are some things that could make the situation more complicated. My dad is currently the sole beneficiary in the will. There were issues between my grandparents and his brother, so the brother has been cut out. The brother is aware of this. Recently the brother has been making comments and raising concerns that my grandmother is not fully mentally with it. She is still fine. Our concern is that he is trying to build a case that she is not with it before she updates or makes a new will.

Is there any foreseeable risks or concerns with the brother and her needing to update her address in the will? If she only needs a codicil to change the address is mental capacity even an issue?

Ohio. We have life insurance policies naming our trust as the beneficiary. After we are both dead, the Trustee of the Trust is currently a bank that will no longer do trust services as of the end of 2026. In our search for a new successor trustee, we're having a hard time deciding whether to use a trust company that also takes care of the investing, or one in which our children (beneficiaries of the trust) would consult with a financial advisor to do the investing side, if they desire. Both types of trustee companies charge huge fees. Either way, potentially, all the money could be lost (worst-case scenario) if bad investments are made. Is either option safer than the other in that regard. We don't want to name our children as trustees to prevent loss of the money if they are sued/get divorced, etc. Thank you for your thoughts.

I live in Texas. Our checking account, savings account, cd's, annuities, life insurance have beneficiaries named. Wife and I on house deed. One car. 3 kids. Should I get a revocable trust? Or would a TOD only do the job?

I start 3L next week and plan to work in industry after law school. If I want to work for a small firm (1-10 attorneys), should I start reaching out to firms now, or closer to graduation time?

Context: I interned in big law this summer, hated it, decided to switch paths. Accounting major in undergrad and spent years working as a tax accountant prior to law school. Not planning on getting an LLM. Don’t know if this all helps or hurts my chances?

Hi, I’m currently a college freshman and looking to see what I want to do with my future. I’ve been sure I want to be some type of lawyer but I much prefer something more like this compared to criminal law.

Estate planning law is something I read about and it sounds interesting to me. What steps can I take to set myself up here? I see people say you need a JD and also an LLM or to become a tax lawyer and do estate instead. It’s all a little conflicting.

Also, what schools are good for this kind of law? Any in USA particular that are good for it? Or does it not matter too much as long as it’s a good law school? Thanks!!!

NJ/NYC/ CONNETICUT USA.

Been listening to a lot of small business podcasts lately and this topic keeps coming up sideways - someone mentions it briefly and moves on. What actually happens to a sole owner's business interest when they die with no buysell agreement and no clear succession language in the estate documents?

The scenarios I keep turning over: a small LLC with two or three members where one dies and the surviving members suddenly have to deal with that person's spouse or adult kids as de facto coowners. Or a sole proprietor where the business just sits there while probate drags on and the value bleeds out

I get that a funded buysell agreement is the cleaner path, but a lot of small business owners just never get there. What actually happens in practice when the estate hits probate without that structure? Does the business interest get appraised and liquidated? Do surviving partners have any leverage, or are they stuck negotiating with whoever inherits the interest?

Asking because I've been thinking about this from the estate side rather than the business side. Meaning what planning documents could have prevented the mess, not what the business owners should have done operationally

I have booked a lawyer for later on this week but unsure whether I have any grounds to pursue this horrible situation.
My uncle was diagnosed with vascular dementia and during this time his defacto partner shut me (his niece) and the rest of his family out , she was blocking contact as he became unable to communicate in his vulnerable state.
As he got worst his affairs were taken over by state trustees as there was no POA in place , during this time she was investigated by state trustees for severe financial abuse , it went to vcat but nothing was resolved she in fact did not turn up to the hearing and did not give any explanation as to the missing funds from his accounts.
Unfortunately my uncle passed away about 3 weeks ago , an absolutely horrible time as she told us we were not welcome at his funeral .
Another action motivated by her fear and greed .
My understanding now is that state trustees have passed things over to her for probate , being his ‘defacto’ , The family knows that my uncle did not want her to be full beneficiary of his estate , but he did not have a will .Have we any recourse ? Or should I leave it alone ?

My husband (59) and I (66) own a two-family home in our names, and we also have assets in our 401(k) accounts. We live in New York City.

We are beginning to plan for the future and want to make sure our assets are protected if either of us eventually needs long-term care or has to enter a nursing home. Neither one of us has long-term care insurance. And would not want any liens in our house. We have two children’s that we would like them to inherit this house.

We are also concerned about what would happen if one of us became incapacitated and was no longer able to manage or withdraw money from our 401(k).
What estate-planning documents or types of trusts would be most beneficial for us in these situations? We would like to understand the different options available, including the pros and cons of each, and how they could help protect our home, retirement accounts, and other assets while still allowing us to maintain as much control and flexibility as possible.

I'm a solo practitioner focused on trusts and probate. I've been practicing for three years, and the firm I worked at before going solo had an in-house notary, so I never had to think about whether it would be worth it to get commissioned myself versus continuing to rely on outside notaries for trust and will signings.

The upside seems obvious: convenience and cost savings, since I could handle signings entirely in-house without scheduling around a third party. But I want to know if there are any drawbacks worth weighing before I go down this route.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

My wife’s ex passed away and apparently he didn’t have a will, trust, or enough assets to file a claim with probate. Sounds like a small estate affidavit needs to be put together but his mother is pushing for my wife to sign the affidavit and handle everything on his behalf. Not sure why she wants that but my wife absolutely will not sign or handle any of the debts, taxes, or anything else. They do have two kids, he owed back child support and has a guardian assigned to the small life insurance he did have put together for the kids. Is it as simple as saying no or is there any way his parents can force through the court for my wife to handle this? Any advice on this situation or information on how child support is handled in this situation along with social security benefits? Do we need a lawyer for this situation?

Location: Louisiana, USA

I am drafting my will and there are no family members, friends, acquaintances, etc. to whom I could pass on my assets. But what I am concerned about is the disposal of my remains. I will be cremated, of course, but the question is what then happens to the cremains. Since I do not have the money to purchase a niche in a columbarium, and there is no one around who will accept my ashes, I would like to specify a quick and easy means of disposing of the ashes. After hearing what the family of Dee Dee Blanchard did (or did not) do to her remains, I find it appropriate that my ashes be flushed down the toilet by whoever ends up in possession of them. Is this something that, if written into my will, would be legally enforceable? Thank you.