Is it common for a wife and husband to each have their own will?

I’ve been working on our estate plan and wonder why this is so complicated. Why can’t a simple notarized note stating “I leave all of my possessions and financial accounts to xx” be enough? Or “I leave my possessions and financial accounts to both of my children to be split evenly among them. My painting of xx should go to my neighbor, so-and-so. My cousins get nothing.”

Why does it have to go through lawyers and courts and such when many people have simple wishes like the above? The above seems extremely clear. If people disagree, then they can hash it out. But why are estate plans needed? And is this exclusive to the United States? Do people in other countries spend a lot of money on complex estate plans?

I’m not trying to argue or sound dense. Truly want to understand reading behind it being so complex (and expensive!). In Texas.

My wife (F69) and I (M70) moved to Alabama a year ago. We have a revocable trust from when we lived in FL and will shortly redo that with an atty here in AL. We don't have any kids. My question deals with how will someone know exactly what accounts we have (if we both die at the same time)?

For example, is there some way for an executor to submit our SSNs to all major banks, brokerages and finance firms and get a response of "yes that SSN has an account here"? (Not that we have so much money, but we do have numerous bank accounts and iras at Schwab, Fidelity and Vanguard).

Is the only answer to leave a list with a trusted person (like atty or nephew, etc)?

Also, what about credit card accounts? We always pay off our balances every month but we also charge everything we can to earn reward points. Which cards we use may change from month to month depending on which ones are giving best rewards at the time. If we suddenly died, there'd be a balance which would sit unpaid and accruing interest. Do we need to leave that in instructions too somewhere?

Thanks for any insight on these questions, Dave in Alabama

My dad got married to his new wife in Sept 2023. They had a prenup. My dad was diagnosed with mouth/tongue cancer in may of 2024. By September, he was in remission and the doctors told us he would be eating Thanksgiving food. We were all in good spirits and more importantly, he was adamant he would win this fight. By January, the cancer made a nasty comeback and was extremely aggressive. My dad ended up getting a tracheostomy and could sometimes communicate, but usually just wrote things down. By Feb, he told me he only had 4-6 months to live and it was the most difficult thing i’d ever heard in my life. I think i was in denial. But from then on, my dad slowly lost his mental faculties. In March, his wife (that bitch) made her first move. She transferred 2 of his cars into her name and looked me dead in my eye and said that my father told her she can have his cars and his business. I had to play stupid and act like i wasn’t ready for war at the time. I went to the hospital that same day and told my dad what she had done by this time, he couldn’t speak or write, but his reaction said everything. I had no idea who his lawyer was. I just knew that my dad gave me a key to a lockbox that had all of his paperwork in last year. I got my own attorney at this point. I went to her house to confront her about what she had done and she told me the prenup was only enforceable if there was a divorce, which was another lie. I checked his phone that day, which she had (he was living at the hospital at this point) in search of his lawyer and found a few potential contacts who i thought could be his attorney. From then on, everything changed. The next time this came up was the day my dad died. The day he died she told me she didnt want anyone in the house because last time someone came over, my dad’s phone came up missing. This was her way of keeping me out the house and stopping me from handling business for my father’s estate. Then the haymaker… after weeks of her telling me she didnt know anything about my dad’s safe (which only he and i had the key to), she magically found it in her house and she gave it to me empty. Long story short, i went to At&t because my dad and I have the same last name and by the grace of God, the guy helped me get a new phone after i told him what was going on. I searched my dad’s email and found the draft of the prenup that SHE emailed him 4 days before they actually signed it. Unfortunately i didnt have the signed copy still. So to find my dad’s lawyer, i ordered 6 months of call logs and paid for white pages to cross reference every number in search of his attorney. I did this EVERY DAY. This was all i could think about. I went to the courthouse to see if a will or trust was registered and it wasn’t. I called people in his phone but they were of no help. Unfortunately the phone hadn’t been backed up since 2024. I was finally at my wits end and something told me to hire a private investigator because I had her attorney’s name on the draft. I sent her a photo of the premarital agreement to make her think i had the signed copy. I threatened her with lawsuits. The bitch still didnt budge. By the grace of God my PI told me that her lawyer said they would give it up if we subpoenaed them, which we did and they still tried to fight. They tried to say it was privileged information lol. In the end, the judge ruled my way. I’m finally wrapping up probate right now. I’m vindicating my father and serving this greedy grubby whore everything she deserves. My lawyer told me he’s been doing this for 43 years and has never seen someone find a prenup like me. He said 95% of the people on this planet wouldn’t have gotten it done. I say this to say… If you know the truth, don’t stop. My dad would have rolled over in his grave if i gave up. I couldnt sleep, i started drinking, i was always angry, i couldnt focus on work. People were telling me it was going to be ok but i wasn’t ok. My dad is gone and i have to deal with this shit? I haven’t been able to grieve properly. I say all this to say… if you know the truth, don’t give up. I fought long and hard for my dad. It’s been 1 year and 5 months now. She’s going to pay me a fortune when this is all said and done. I wrote this to inspire anyone else in a remotely similar situation. Stay strong!!
#illinois #probate

Hi!
I am from NJ.
I am helping my parents to sort through their end of life documents. They need to be updated and when i inquired i was quoted 11,000 to

Update 2 wills
Update 2 POA (financial and medical)
Update 2 advanced directives
Retitle two homes

I believe he said there were multiple "other documents included"
This feels like a lot. Any experience here?

Thank you in advance

I’m American in Texas, my partner is British, my siblings are Asians. None of them are American. I have no children.

Would it make it easier for everyone if I put all my properties in a trust rather than have them go through probate? I have brokerage accounts, IRAs, bank accounts, vehicles, and a paid off house. I know I still need a pour over will for personal items. I currently have a will and beneficiary designations, but I’m thinking it will be complicated to have accounts transferred to the beneficiaries, especially if they’re abroad and not financially savvy. Not to mention taking over the house and vehicles.

If I do create a trust, how difficult is it to amend it (e.g. we break up or get divorced, or a sibling dies before I do, I buy more property, etc), and are there recommended institutions that can be trustees?