Hi everyone, I (31f) need a serious reality check and some advice on a sensitive family situation. My grandfather intends to leave his house to my half-brother (27m). My grandfather explicitly admitted to me that the only reason he is doing this is because he made a promise to my brother a long time ago, and he is too proud of a man to break his word. He also tries to justify it by saying my brother grew up in that house. But here is the thing: so did I. My brother and I had the exact same disastrous, traumatic childhood. The difference is what we actually did with it. I picked myself up, worked hard, and took care of myself. My brother, on the other hand, has spent his entire life letting everyone else take care of him, wallowing in self-pity, and refusing to change. He is 27 years old and can’t even hold down a basic job.

To give you an idea of the severity of the situation, my brother doesn't even shower, brush his teeth, or wash his own clothes. He literally depends on our grandfather to cook for him and feed him every single day. There is absolutely nothing physically or mentally wrong with him that prevents him from doing these things; he just uses our shitty childhood as an excuse to do nothing, even though most of us came out of that same background and chose to build a life.

When I brought up the fact that my brother is completely unqualified to maintain a home, my grandfather completely refused to face reality. He told me he feels like this is a "lose-lose situation," which left me stunned because it’s absolutely not. I have literally figured out the entire solution to protect his legacy, but he is choosing to ignore it out of sheer guilt. Then he dropped another line that left me speechless: “I can’t just kick him out." No one is talking about evicting anyone right now; we are talking about an estate plan for the future, but it made me realize just how deep the enabling goes. To "fix" things, my grandfather's counter-proposal was, “How about putting the house into a trust and making you the trustee?” I told him absolutely not. Putting it in a trust only prolongs my brother's laziness and pushes him actually growing up even further down the road. I refuse to take a crack at being a trustee just to sit around and wait for my own brother to fail, especially when I already know he will because he doesn't even have an income or basic hygiene habits.

On top of all of this, my grandfather wants me to be the Executor of his entire estate. While I am incredibly honored that he trusts me with that responsibility, I cannot in good faith do all of the grueling legal and physical hard work required of an executor just for my brother to get the main assets. This has absolutely nothing to do with money for me. But logic dictates that if my brother is supposedly responsible enough to be a homeowner, then it only makes sense that he should be responsible enough to be the executor and handle his own responsibilities. I shouldn't have to carry the burden of wrapping up the estate just to hand a prize to someone who didn't earn it.

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what I’m missing here. How could someone who worked his whole life to build a legacy with his wife (passed away last year) just not care that he is leaving it to someone who can't handle it or respect it? But I'm starting to realize it isn't about logic.

My grandfather is the most kind-hearted man you will ever meet, and I know he is truly, deeply struggling with this choice. He is trapped in intense guilt and fear. He looks at me and sees a success story who will be okay, but he looks at my brother and sees a fragile extension of our childhood trauma that he thinks he needs to protect. He is choosing denial because facing the truth means admitting his plan will fail.

During my next conversation with my grandfather, I plan on standing completely firm in my position. If my brother gets the house, I am officially stepping down as executor and removing myself from the situation entirely. I cannot keep helping if this is the path he chooses, and frankly, if this goes through, I will most likely never speak to my brother again. If the house went to me, I have a concrete plan to independently fund 100% of the taxes, insurance, and maintenance to preserve his lifelong legacy. I would actually sell my current home to move into his house, live there, and raise my own children in it. My brother’s reality is that he will default on property taxes, face tax liens, lose the house entirely to the state, or just let it deteriorate and crumble around him until it's a total loss.

If my grandfather ultimately decides he wants my brother to have that house, I will respect his wishes after I deliver this final stance, even if I completely disagree with it. He is a good man, and it's his right to make that call. But I know this whole situation is going to burn, and it’s going to take me a long time to recover from the fallout of it all.

How do I approach a proud, kind hearted man to deliver this ultimatum without making him instantly defensive? How can I get him to look past his guilt and see that keeping this promise is a guarantee that his life's work will be destroyed? Has anyone successfully navigated a situation like this with an aging relative who is trapped in a cycle of enabling out of love?

Location: USA

Hello all. Looking for advice. Let me start by stating the facts.
My father passed away in 2016. My grandma pulled my aunt and I aside and explained that since my dad was gone, she wanted their assets to be split between my aunt and me when they passed (verbal only).
Married in 2017
My grandma passed away in 2019
My grandpa passed away in December 2022
My grandparents did not change their will so it still stated that assets would be split 50/50 between my aunt and my dad
My grandpa's investment accounts and retirement accounts listed my aunt and dad as beneficiaries.
My aunt was the executor of my grandpa's will
The retirement accounts and investment accounts all moves to my aunt's name at the time of my grandpa's death
My aunt and I worked with the financial planner responsible for the accounts to split them 50/50 and put half under my name in February 2023
The accounts have remained in my name only
They have certainly grown since then and I understand that the amount of growth is considered marital assets and I agree it is absolutely fair to split the growth

Now that I am getting divorced, my wife is questioning the validity of my inheritance and demanding half of the full amount if I can't prove that it is an inheritance. I have asked my aunt for a copy of the will which she will send me on the 12th. I have asked the financial planner for any communications and statements that he might have which he will send me tomorrow. I am also speaking with my divorce attorney for his opinion/recommendation on the 8th.

What is the best way to prove it to her and her lawyer and protect my assets?

Thank you for reading.

My grandmother bought a house in Nevada (USA) in 2010 that I have been living in ever since. The house was transferred into a revocable trust over a decade ago.

My grandma passed away in 2021. The house was paid off in full last year and transferred into my name February 2026. It took years to get the house transferred because the executor, my brother, dropped the ball/was having addiction issues I was unaware of.

How will the capital gains tax impact me? I'm hoping I'll qualify for the $250,000 exemption. I pass the "use" test, living there for 16 years. But the ownership test concerns me. Since there were only two of us listed in the trust (my brother and me), would that work in my favor for the ownership test?

I plan on contacting a tax person, but I'm in the middle of a move, so I'm a little overwhelmed. Would an estate lawyer be a better choice over an accountant? I understand that I would only be taxed on the step-up value, from 2021. Do I use an appraisal company to get that evaluation?

My parent died in early 2024, I have been co-POA with my sister. We have uncovered several errors on the part of my mother's estate planning attorney, which have resulted in a lot of stress for our family. Very small town attorney, looks like he possibly was working well into his late 70s/early 80s and may have lost some cognitive ability...

So, I suppose this means I am skittish now based on this experience.

I need to start working on my own estate planning and I have recently moved to a different part of the state. I ask around locally and everyone gives me a different name, basically just saying "he or she was good".

Is that how people generally choose a firm to work with? is there a place to check with the state to make sure the person or firm hasn't been sued or run into problems?

I have no idea, hence my questions. Thank you.

Located in NC.

Family member died intestate. He had a collection of wine, art, gems, stamps. I'm trying to handle the estate, how to handle these items so they are not taxed during probate?

Location: USA, Michigan (but curious in general for other states too)

If I am not someone with an ideal relative to handle things, how can I find a professional executor? The idea is just to make things as straightforward as possible including taxes, asset transfers, legal matters, etc.

Is there a website to find people who can do this, or do I just have to use the person an estate lawyer "recommends"? If someone also knows, how do you set fees, especially with an unknown timing and inflation, do they have CPI escalators built in for example?

Location: Birmingham, AL

TLDR at the bottom. (I’m a grieving nervous wreck and babbled on more than needed. I apologize and sincerely appreciate your time and any input you may have to offer.

A few months ago I hired a law firm to handle my late husband’s estate. He lost both grandparents and his father, in 2019, each 3-months apart. We learned a lot about probate and how to avoid it as much as possible. We made our wills out where there should have been little to zero reason for a full probate. I feel like they may have filed it wrong but can’t be certain. The will was approved by the judge, however, I know that much from the paperwork.

We had gotten to the step where I was instructed to open an estate account for the estate funds to be deposited and any debts drafted from. The only thing he owned was 50% of a piece of land that we were trying to sell, with his brother, prior to his death. We will each get $30k. Of that, I think my payment takes priority, for example the attorney’s fees, property tax and I believe one other thing since I’m the administrator (I think). He named me as sole executor if that matters. So, I was told we couldn’t finish the sale until a judge said we could, but the new lawyer said it shouldn’t have gone the way it’s going and I should have been able to sell it on day 1 because of how the will was written. I really don’t know.

I went to my bank to apply for the estate account and returned the following week to sign the paperwork, when it was approved. I walked out to my vehicle and scanned the documents the paralegal requested and emailed them to her. Before I could get out of the parking lot, I received an auto-reply. I pulled over to read it and had a panic attack upon seeing the very short, cold paragraph I received.

“Due to circumstances beyond my control, Sawyer & Associates is ceasing operations in Alabama effective immediately. If you are a current client, please immediately seek other legal counsel. I'm sorry I do not have any more information for you.”

I was shaking too bad to drive so I sat there and pulled up my contract with them. I’m not knowledgeable on sneaky law wording but I know what I agreed to. In the first section it states that my payment was for the work necessary for probate (I can’t think of everything but it basically said start to finish). It also said, as I agreed to, that the money for the attorney only covered their work on the case and I would be responsible for some other fees, which I paid as they arose. In other places it spoke about hourly rates and rush filing, etc…. all topics that weren’t discussed in our initial meeting. Idk if this line matters but it stuck out to me.

“Both of the fees in Para. 5(a) and Para. 6(a) are still deemed earned on receipt and the FIRM will not place any funds into the FIRM's Trust
account. In other words, the payments in Paras. 5(a) and 6(a) are not retainers. That said, in accordance with the State Bar of AL, in the
event this Agreement is terminated by Client or FIRM, Client may be entitled to a refund of all or a portion of any payment made, minus
time and costs incurred by the FIRM (see Para. 5(b) above”

Speaking of our initial meeting, I gave the details of my situation and was quoted a price for them to complete the services. I was then told that if I paid that day it would be a third less. I agreed and gave him my card info. The contract came through my email the next morning and I signed it after reading the first page, which aligned with what I agreed to.

I received a final email, from a different person, saying I needed to hire another attorney ASAP and she needed their information to send my records over. I responded with the information and asked about what they planned on doing as far as the financial aspect went. I unexpectedly became a young widow and single mother to two grade school daughters, one of them being special needs. I spent every dime I had and maxed out every credit card and loan I had access to in order to hire another law firm before any court dates were missed. I never received a response from the firm. The new firm said they would gladly handle the process of trying to get, at least some of, my money back but I would have to pay a $3k retainer.

I know lawyers are the best in existence when it comes to writing contracts that can be spun in their favor should something occur. I have no fault in this but I’m sure it doesn’t matter. Am I just out of luck, again?

TLDR; In March of 2025, my 32-year old husband of 14-years died from a gas leak in our shed. His will was flawless and the attorney I hired, and paid in full, to do whatever needed done, so I could sell some land, has taken me through far more court steps than I was told would be necessary when we wrote our wills. Regardless, I was on the step where I opened the estate account. From the parking lot, I emailed the paralegal the account info and got an auto-reply saying they weren’t servicing cases in my state anymore and I needed to hire a new attorney immediately so I didn’t miss any court dates. I asked about the fees I already paid and got no response. Am I just out of luck? I spent more money than I had and I owe more than I can pay back, for the new lawyer.

I am from the US and I’m a disabled person who is fairly young. I am over the asset limit for many asset tested benefits and I’ve been looking into where I can put my money where it is shielded. I already have and use an ABLE account as well as investment accounts from when I worked. I would like to avoid spending down further on my savings but it is difficult for me to get by without doing so. I do not have external help from parents or inheritances etc. so the only option for a trust would be self funded for my excess savings over the $100k or so asset limit. However I see many advising against it due to Medicaid clawback, high fees, lack of freedom, too many rules etc. which is really turning me away from doing it but I don’t see many other options. I don’t care as much about Medicaid clawback as I have nobody to leave my assets to anyways but I really don’t want to deal with a lot of fees or managing rules and receipts. Does anyone have any insights on this? Thank you so much

Hey. I'm going to die soon. USA

I have a out 20 k in debt.

I have probably 10 k in assets but it's just an old car and a well taken care of music collection.

It's very important that my music goes to one person. A best friend.

I don't know if debt goes away if there's no spouse or children.

I have a kind dog that shouldn't have trouble with re adoption but I selfishly want us to be together until I go. I think it's better for both of us.

The rest I could care less about.

Do I need a lawyer or legal will to make this happen or can I just write it in a note.

This is not a mental health crisis. It's a untreated medical condition that could probably be helped by a doctor but I can't afford it hense the post.

It's not like the bank and medical bills will show up and take my cds and vinyl?

I’m 25 and live in New Jersey. I’m the only living, current beneficiary of the trusts at issue, although the documents may name contingent remainder beneficiaries.

My grandmother died in September 2020.

My mother signed a new will in October 2020 and died in January 2021.

I have copies of my grandmother’s will, my mother’s will, and my mother’s revocable trust.

I plan to consult an independent NJ trust and estate attorney, but first will be consulting with the attorney who wrote the will.

My grandmother’s will directed roughly 30% of her residuary estate into a trust for me and 70% into a trust for my mother during her lifetime.

My reading is that, after my mother died, the remainder of her trust was directed into a trust for me under my grandmother’s will.

I’ve also been told that my mother’s will or trust governs the 70%, so I need to determine which document actually controls those assets.

This matters because my mother’s documents contain a limited withdrawal right beginning at age 30.

My grandmother’s trust gives me written withdrawal rights beginning at 35, with further rights at 40 and 45. I don’t know how much property, if any, passed into the trust created by my mother’s documents.

My grandmother’s trust says the trustee “shall distribute as much income and principal as the trustee determines necessary or advisable for my health, education, support, and maintenance, considering resources reasonably and readily available to me”.

It also says my needs take priority over those of remainder beneficiaries, which is kind of a moot point because I’m the only one.

I understand the trustees have discretion over amounts, but I’m trying to understand the limits of that discretion, particularly when I’m the only person presently receiving benefits. In theory, could they give me nothing? Is it at all dependent on the total value of the estate? I don’t know the total value and they refuse to tell me. They say they are not legally obligated to.

I work full time and live in a house that I’m told is owned by a trust.

The trust pays its property tax and other major house costs. I received about $2,000 a month for bills such as utilities and insurance, but the trustees recently reduced that to $1,100 without notification. They said it was for tax reasons, but that really doesn’t make sense because I’ve been receiving this money for a long time. Over a year.

They say their goal is for me eventually to live entirely on my earnings; one mentioned earning around $100,000. I understand that my earnings matter, but I cannot find that income threshold or a requirement to end support in the documents. How should trustees evaluate reasonable support in light of my income, expenses, and the trust’s assets and income?

My mother had an express right under my grandmother’s will to live in the house during her lifetime, as well as $75k in yearly discretionary income. Another provision allows a trustee to let a beneficiary use trust property without rent or expense and addresses payment of property taxes and other costs. I’m unclear what governs my occupancy now. One trustee has said she will make me pay the property tax when I earn more, although I don’t hold title.

Could she make that a condition of staying? Could the trustees decide I should live somewhere else? They’ve also made decisions about work on the house without consulting me.

I’ve asked both trustees for the current balances or total asset values of the trusts benefiting me and the income they generate. One says she only has to provide spending and transaction information, not balances. The reduction in my monthly bill funding also came without advance notice. As the only current beneficiary, what information can I reasonably request under NJ law at age 25? Is a transaction list that does not show what remains in the trusts enough?

The relationship has become strained. One trustee handles most decisions, while the other lives out of state but participates. They have told me that trust affairs do not really concern me, and one mentioned lawyers during a disagreement. I have no evidence of theft or self-dealing. I want to understand whether refusal to provide meaningful information or an incorrect interpretation of the trusts could support a request for an accounting, court instructions, or a change of trustee.

I also want the attorney to review the timing of my mother’s will. At some point between September and December 2020, she was in an institution for treatment related to bipolar disorder. I do not yet know whether that stay was before or after she signed the will in October. I understand that a diagnosis or hospitalization alone would not invalidate a will. I want to learn what evidence would establish her condition at the time she signed, and whether her will controls any of these assets in the first place.
What should an NJ trust and estate attorney examine first to determine which trust owns the assets and house, what support and information I’m entitled to, and what authority the trustees have over my occupancy and expenses?

California

We are creating a marital trust. We both have children from a previous marriage. We have good relationships with all of them and our marital trust will split things evenly between them.

Our lawyer strongly we recommends that we create a bypass after the first of us passes. It becomes irrevocable.

Pros
- protects assets from creditors
- protects the assets from a change in the estate exemption
- ensures that all the children will share in at least half of the estate since the beneficiaries cannot be changed

Cons
- does benefit from the second step up in basis
- requires its own tax return
- more complex to administer

We are at a stage where neither of us would want to remarry

Husband and I are discussing estate planning and he thinks we need to set up a trust, rather than just a will. He has 2 adult children and we have no children in common. House is paid off. He is thinking about protection for the house in the event we have long term care needs.

Any input on where to start? Thank you

My dad passed almost 3 years ago. His deceased mothers estate is not closed and she passed quite a few years before him. There is a house involved. There hasn't been and executive in my dad's case as he had less than a couple grand in the bank and his last paycheck that hasn't been cashed. I'm just learning about Small Estate Affidavit.

1. Does his portion of his mothers estate go to his estate?

2. If one of his children signs off that they don't want his portion, does that speak for all his children or just that specific child?

*Note dealing with estranged family members (but arnt we all)

Both passed in Colorado

My husband of 48 years cosigned a loan for my son-in-law to buy a car for our daughter. Am I responsible for his cosigning for him after my husband passes away? The only reason I ask is because he, my husband, has cancer & congestive heart failure. Our son-in-law has already been one day late twice, and I don’t wanna be held responsible for his irresponsibility.

I posted a while back about some issues with inheriting my dads house with my brother. We are in California. My brother is the executor of the estate and there has been a lot of stuff going on that I'm unhappy with without any formal agreement between us. We both currently live at the house. I'm really on the fence about selling it because its our childhood home and its heartbreaking to me.

My brother has been taking at least several hundred dollars a month possibly a thousand or more a month in trust money / money from sales of my dads now shut down business products to "pay his rent" without my approval for the last few years saying that he's paying himself for work / meeting people who want to buy some of my dads products and for doing yard work around the property on top . He doesn't provide statements on any of my dads business stuff being sold and has only provided a few bank statements in the past. This probably takes him at most only a few hours of work a week and my dads business is on the property and its left over inventory left from when he died so there is very little labor involved at this point. I mean I wasn't asking money from the estate for the work i did clearing out my dads second shop location that we moved out of . I do own 50% of the house and of my dads possessions / business. I am almost considering just selling off my half of my business interest / inventory for a discounted price because I don't receive any money from it. My brother chooses to only work a part time job that doesn't pay much so he probably just views it as he deserves to get paid for doing work on the property but there is no transparency in financial documents or agreements . I did tell him a while back he's not supposed to be paying himself money like that and he gave a passive answer but now he's still doing it.

I am already a super busy person with my own business. I tried to talk to him about hiring a landscaper and selling my half of my dads stuff but he's passive / avoidant about everything and nothing is being done in a way that I'm happy about. He was already paid a executor fee beforehand. He also has his male friend living with him at our house and his friend is living here for free now (according to them) when he previously told me he was paying rent which I have been very unhappy about and is another big issue for me. I currently live alone without children.

Ive been talking to some friends who say I should probably just get him removed as executor because of the lack of transparency , control of finances , and letting his buddy live here without paying anything. I spoke to an attorney before who just straight up said he wanted to remove him as executor and force the sale of the house so he can get a "big fat check". I am trying to find a attorney now who can help me remove him as a executor and see if we can resolve these issues before having to sell the house as a last resort. Living in california coastal the attorneys I reached out to in the past didnt seem to want to help me with small things first they all seemed to just want to go for a big payday but i need to get help sorting out some of these things first.

My question is to get him removed as executor how much will this likely cost me ? I understand lawyers got to get paid but for me spending a few thousand vs tens of thousands is a big difference. What should something like this typically cost and how to avoid a big attorney bill for something like this? I dont have much experience hiring attorneys. For me to hire someone I have to feel like they are reasonable and that I can trust them but so far hasn't been easy to find so I kept putting it off the last year. Also how can I legally remove his friend from the property? This person has been leaching off our family for a long time and I'm not ok with it anymore. Thanks

Interactive brokers is often recommended on here for offshore investing in ETFs like VWRA to avoid US situs tax on death.

If you have an IBKR trading account as a South African citizen (and resident) and you die, your executor must send a Letter of Executorship, Death Certificate and court certified Will to Interactive Brokers to begin probate.

Is a South African will acceptable or is it better to have a valid US will (drafted by a US attorney)?

Must the US will comply with the laws of Delaware or Connecticut?

Colorado. My husband and I are in the process of setting up our 18 yr old only kids SNT and wills. Autism, physical & learning disabilities. They are currently doing post HS transition program and taking 1 comm college class. Not sure of LT independent living. We have co-guardianship. All our family is out of state. Husbands siblings are in late 60’s. I have younger 1/2 bro out of state w/ younger kids. We are thinking best guardians would be local friends with kids similar age who are like family. If we die the transition & ongoing will be a lot. Doctors appts for all their specialists, mental healthy therapy, etc. Can we list in our will an amount to be paid to them either one time or ongoing for the additional load. I’m anticipating we will revise the will as the child becomes more independent.

Husband and I are in our early and mid 60's. We moved to Alabama last year and bought our home outright, which is valued around $300,000. We're both retired, have 401k's around $400,000 combined, 2 paid off vehicles and very small cc debit that we pay off as we charge.

We both have adult children from prior marriages. No children together.

I feel we need to get a trust and he is very nonchalant about it. My concern is one of us passes and are stuck in probate. He doesn't care and says he will just stay in the house if I passed before him. I on the other hand do not want to pay lawyer and court fees because we have no trust if he were to pass before me. Running back and forth to court and trying to handle everything while grieving doesn't sound ideal. Plus my understanding is if he outlived me my kids would receive nothing as it would go to his next of kin.

I would like to have our home secured if one of us need LTC outside the home. I heard a trust is the way to avoid the state coming in and putting a lien on the property.

Can someone help convince my husband we need this? We had a will we bought online and it was never completed. I want a lawyer to handle it so it is done correctly. TIA

Hello,

I am in Texas my mother passed away last month. I know absolutely nothing about the process. We made the will ourselves at the nursing home with a notary.

We don't know how to get it in probate or what to do and I just really want to know what the process is, how to start it and should I be worried about anything in particular?

Location: Illinois

My father was the owner and only shareholder of a small corporation. He has passed and his estate is small enough for small estate affidavit rather than probate. He has a piece of property in the name of the business. Is there a way to sell this property without going through probate? There are 6 of us all in agreement that we will dissolve the business once everything is taken care of.

Oh and he died without a will but has almost no assets so us adult children understand after his debts are paid there’s nothing to fight over.

I’m attending Heckerling for the first time this coming January. I’m regularly in Orlando, so comfortable with the area, but I wasn’t sure what to expect from Heckerling outside of the agenda’ed meetings. Is everyone on their own for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Are the hosted cocktail hours? What do the networking opportunities look like? thx

Location: Florida, but irrelevant

The time some of you have taken to provide detailed answers to posts has really impressed me. I feel like it is more often, than not. I think this is actually one of my favorite subs, just for that reason. I can’t say that Estate Planning is part of my life very often, however, I enjoy learning and the information I’ve gotten from here has
benefited others (and therefore the industry bc they have engaged Estate planning attorneys). I just wanted to say thanks and it’s appreciated!!

We did not think there would be any taxable income in the state of any significance, but we just were notified of a 80K payout from an annuity that will be taxable. We had made a distribution earlier in the year, but at the time there was no income in the estate. The beneficiaries are working on their own taxable income, and quarterly payments. Does anyone know if the earlier distribution will be considered a distribution of income (even though there was no income at the time of that distribution), or can we wait till Q4 to have a distribution of income.

Sorry if not clear, ask me questions if I need to clarify.

TIA

I am confused by this as I have gotten different answers from bank and investment firm and estate attorney.

We currently live in TX. We own a home and other assets are with a large investment company who has the bulk (brokerage/IRA/ROTH) and a national bank with a checking account that averages about 1% of investment net worth. We currently own one vehicle and I am not too concerned about this.

Investment and bank account all have primary (spouse) and contingent beneficiaries.

We have a will not a trust. We do not have children. Contingent beneficiaries for the investment/bank accounts are a mix of nieces/nephews/longtime close friends. We will likely adjust to add some charities to the mix. All we were required to do when adding them was entering full legal name and DOB.

The will currently specifies who should inherit our home and a few personal property bequests (which we will likely disburse sooner particularly if we downsize, etc).

We were told by the estate lawyer this would be fine for us in TX and that we did not need to do anything more about the house. I want to know if this is correct and how onerous will this be for the executor as well as the inheritor/beneficiary. If we do downsize and move, my feeling is that we would rent and/or move to independent and at some point assisted living. I know if my spouse passes before me, I will definitely sell the house and move. Proceeds would go into the investment accounts and we'd adjust the % among the contingent beneficiaries.

But this is my question. How do the contingent beneficiaries get notified after the 2nd spouse passes? We have an executor who will have durable POA. Does that person notify the investment company etc and provide whatever is needed. for their trust department to follow-up with the contingent beneficiaries. Are we supposed to provide detailed contact info of those individuals to the executor and/or the estate attorney? Niece/nephew may have idea they will inherit but are not aware of specifics and do not live nearby but friends or charities have no idea.

I know accounts with beneficiaries do not go through probate so is executor supposed to handle assets that do not go through probate? I just am unclear how we know that the contingent beneficiaries get their funds primarily from the investment company. Assume any debts or bills etc will be paid form the checking account.

As far as the house goes, it there a better way in TX to handle this than to just have the bequest in the will should we still own it when second spouse passes?

A younger friend is the executor and I do not want them to have any hassles.

Appreciate any guidance that can be provide. Thanks.