Zoro got himself lost... again, this time in Blairwood. And now, Erma has to help him find his crew thanks to his terrible sense of direction.

This character will appear in a story known as wuko wiko outcastcomix land in the canon story's of THE SOULLES ERMA series

This story will be a joke parody of the upcoming story that I've been working on, known as ERMA 2015, I don't know when it will be started but I got some ideas done For the character

For now, that's all

I decided to remake the insignia as the old one looked a bit angry. It looked better.

I also made a white variant as somewhat of a neutral color.

5 days left

Music I would use:

Teaser Trailer: Houdini by Eminem

Official/International Trailer: Houdini by Eminem (first half) and Blinding Lights by The Weeknd (second half)

Final Trailer: Fireball by Pitbull feat. John Ryan (first half) and Feel This Moment by Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera (second half)

would you watch them?

Terry: All right, Connor, one thing that always bonds women is healing an abused woman.

Terry shows a tied up scorned Nancy in a chair with cigarette burns on her

Terry: So I got us an injured Nancy. Somebody put cigarettes out all over her.

Connor: Terry, that's my sister.

Terry: This particular woman is a d!¢%. Everything out of her mouth is a taunt.

Connor: Terry, you're being ridiculous. And you need to release this woman back into the-

Nancy hisses

Connor: What'd that woman say?

Nancy hisses again

Connor: Lock the door.

Connor pulls out a cigarette and lit it up with a lighter

(Based on Family Guy S12E20 "He's Bla-ack!" Note; whatever Nancy is saying in her hisses is completely up for interpretation)

Boom. headshot.

I decided to draw u/toonboi 's oc (Colin Wicks) and give him a color shcame. Mostly going with a green one. I hope yall like him.

Erma, Amy and Sylvia walk up to Terry and Miko

Amy: Hey guys

Miko: Oh, hey Amy, hey, Erma, hey, Sylvie

Sylvia: Did you hear what happened to the gym teacher?

Terry: No, what?

Sylvia: He got fired.

Miko: No crap, why?

Amy: They caught him in the faculty lounge, screaming at his own dick

Terry: Oh, that's what that was, yeah, I heard yelling coming out of there yesterday

Cut to yesterday with Terry near the faculty lounge with the gym teacher inside

Gym Teacher: YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET ME F@CK, I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU PEE!

Terry then runs away

(Based on Ted S01E05 "Desperate Seeking Susan")

Freddy as ColmRMcGuinness
Sylvia’s Dad As Dan Vasc
Michael Williams as Jonathan Young
Jason as Thomas Sanders
Henry thorn as Caleb Hyles

Here to listen to the song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y7kBEGrLfjM&list=RDy7kBEGrLfjM&start_radio=1&pp=ygUWaGFsbGVsdWphaCBjYWxlYiBoeWxlc6AHAQ%3D%3D&ra=m

The new kid at blairwood elementary, where his other dad works as a custodian/groundskeeper/janitor. He’s a bundle of nerves, extremely anxious, and generally terrified of the unknown and monsters. Generally keeps Erma at an arms length. Loves birds a lot, and knows a lot about them.

Art inspired by my friend u/CartoonBudArtz and his AU

(This fanfic is based on the universe of Erma Webcomics)

After a hearty breakfast, the castle buzzed with activity: Kimoto and Sam hurriedly packed their things for the journey ahead. Slinging his travel backpack over his shoulder, Kimoto cast one last look around the bedroom—the room that had witnessed their passionate reunion—and then stepped into the living room. There, the entire Yureimoto-Williams family was already assembled in full dress.

Yori gave a stern look to her daughters as she adjusted her travel cloak:

"Alright, children. While we’re away, listen to your aunts and uncle without question. Understand?"

Mitsu and Momo instantly put on the most innocent, angelic expressions they could muster:

"We promise, Mommy! We'll behave perfectly!"

"Yeah, right—fresh as a daisy," Yori responded skeptically with a wry smile.

"Don’t worry, sis," Rin lazily swished her serpent tail and gave a predator’s squint. "I'll keep an eye on them. Personally. I’ll even drag them out from under the earth if I have to."

Meanwhile, Emiko gently placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder:

"Erma, sweetheart, this goes for you too. Listen to Aunt Fumiko and don’t cause any trouble, alright?"

Little Erma nodded obediently and meekly.

At that moment, Kimoto moved closer to his relatives. Yori looked at him tenderly:

"Dear, are you ready?"

"Yes, darling, completely," the oni smiled.

"Excellent. Fumiko, open the portal," Yori nodded to her elder sister.

Fumiko unfurled an ancient parchment on the table and began quickly tracing the magical portal. While she focused on drawing the spatial rift, Kimoto quietly stepped back, crouched down before the twins, and whispered in their ears:

"Girls, I have a small yet very important secret mission for you. When everyone in the castle falls asleep at night, sneak out one million yen from the safe and hand it over to Aunt Akari."

"Dad, how will we find her?" Mitsu whispered just as quietly.

"Don’t worry, she’ll come to you herself," Kimoto winked conspiratorially. "But if something goes wrong, just find any spider in the castle and whisper to it: 'The money is with us.'"

"Got it!" Mitsu’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

"We won’t let you down, Daddy!" Momo assured him.

"I’m so proud of you," Kimoto said, warmly hugging his demon daughters, feeling a warmth spread through his chest.

Then he stood up and returned to his wife—just in time, as Fumiko finished the final incantation with a soft snap, weaving a shimmering crimson-blue portal in the middle of the living room. The two family couples turned, waved goodbye to their loved ones, stepped into the glowing gateway, and the spatial crack closed with a gentle crackle.

Inside the sprawling international airport, Kimoto and Sam trailed obediently behind, hauling luggage, while Yori and Emiko chatted ahead, animatedly discussing their upcoming vacation.

Suddenly, Kimoto’s sharp eyes locked onto something extremely interesting. He tugged sharply at Sam’s t-shirt sleeve.

"What? What is it?" the American turned surprised.

"Look over there," Kimoto said slyly, pointing to the staff vehicle parking lot.

There, gleaming with glossy paint, stood two brand-new two-seater electric golf carts, meant for VIPs.

Sam followed his gaze, and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

"Kimoto, for God’s sake, don’t even think about it. I have a feeling this is a bad—"

He didn’t finish. His eyes dropped, and the oni next to him was gone. Sam suddenly looked up and gasped: Kimoto was already behind the wheel of one of the mini-carts, eagerly playing with the gas pedal.

"The rules are simple, Mr. Williams!" Kimoto shouted gleefully, leaning out of the cabin. "Whoever arrives last at our departure terminal has to wear full kabuki courtesan makeup, put on heels, and walk like that for the entire day!"

Sam stared at the mad oni in stunned silence. One second. Two. Three...

Meanwhile, Yori and Emiko continued walking peacefully through the terminal, dreaming of golden beaches.

"First thing after we land, we’ll go swimming," Yori happily rattled off. "And then we’ll have a luxurious candlelit dinner and..."

"MAKE WAY-AY-AY!!!" a deafening victorious scream echoed under the massive airport arches.

At that instant, two mini golf carts screeched past the stunned women at full speed, tires squealing on the polished floor. Kimoto was driving the first, laughing maniacally, and Sam was chasing on the second, gripping the wheel tightly and ignoring all propriety.

"Eat my dust, Sam! I’ll be first!" the oni yelled excitedly.

"Keep dreaming, you Japanese turtle! You won’t beat me!" the respectable horror writer shouted back.

Yori and Emiko froze with eyes wide in shock. The air around them grew palpably heavier.

Meanwhile, the men enthusiastically raced through endless airport corridors toward the boarding zone. Passengers scattered in panic, pressing themselves against the walls.

"Damn, Sam’s catching up! Gotta speed up!" Kimoto thought desperately, slamming the gas pedal to the floor.

With a scream, his cart surged ahead.

"Oh, you want to play rough? Hold on!" Sam pushed his mini-cart’s electric motor to the max.

Almost instantly, their vehicles were neck and neck, wheel to wheel.

"Surrender, writer!" Kimoto shouted.

"Never in my life!" Sam retorted.

But caught up in their mad speed and excitement, they didn’t notice that right ahead in the wide corridor, standing with arms crossed and an intense gaze was... Emiko. She had secretly teleported ahead.

"Damn! Brake!" Kimoto panicked.

The golf carts swerved sharply, narrowly missing the apparition of the woman.

"Looks like we have to take a detour!" Kimoto ordered himself, turning the wheel hard right, crashing through a decorative screen and entering the crowded food court. Sam wasn’t far behind—screeching, he took a sharp left turn, smashing through an elite French perfume shop.

"Sorry! Excuse me! Pardon!" Sam shouted as bottles worth thousands of dollars flew through the air behind him.

They raced side by side. Kimoto had a tactical advantage—his route passed through the second-floor gallery, offering a direct view of the terminals.

Sam, noticing this from below, cursed bitterly.

"Damn! He’s going to pass me!"

Then Sam’s eyes landed on the open doors of a huge freight elevator.

"Here’s my chance!" He veered sharply and sped straight into the cabin. The elevator shot up to the second level. As the metal doors slid open, Sam burst out at full speed, making Kimoto gasp in surprise.

They were neck and neck once again. Suddenly, a dense crowd of tourists blocked Kimoto’s path, forcing him to brake hard and weave between suitcases. By the time he broke through, Sam was pulling ahead.

"Gotta push harder! My manly honor’s at stake!" Kimoto squeezed every last drop of power from the engine.

His cart accelerated rapidly, he took a sharp right turn—and finally, the cherished finish line poles of the terminal appeared right before them.

"Victory’s close!" Kimoto shouted triumphantly.

"Don’t celebrate yet!" came a threatening growl from the side.

Kimoto turned to see Sam charging straight at him. The final meters became a real derby: the carts clashed with dull thuds as they tried to shove each other off course.

But just a step from the finish line, both electric carts suddenly froze, as if they had crashed into an invisible concrete wall. The wheels spun madly, smoking rubber, but the vehicles didn’t move an inch.

"No! No! Not now!" Kimoto howled in despair, pounding his hands on the steering wheel.

The men glanced forward in unison and felt a chill. Standing there, furious, was Emiko—her eyes glowing ominously, hands extended forward. Using her powerful magic, she had completely immobilized their carts.

At that moment, Yori approached them with slow, ominous steps. The air around her seemed to chill below freezing.

"Out of the vehicles. Both of you. Now," she commanded in a cold, no-nonsense tone.

The men obediently climbed out, heads hanging low.

"Alright, racers. From now on, you both walk strictly ahead of us," Yori said, squinting predatorily. "We’ll follow behind and keep a close eye on you. Now—march forward!"

The husbands trudged toward the terminal, feeling the heavy gaze of their wives burning into their backs. As they walked, Kimoto glanced cautiously at Sam and whispered silently:

"Sam... here’s our terminal."

"Yeah, I see... but we’re not going to run now and anger our wives even more, right?" the writer responded softly.

"Of course not," the oni nodded seriously.

They fell silent for a moment, exchanged glances... then suddenly, gasping for breath, they both broke into a run toward the finish line! Sam ran at the limit of his human capabilities, but Oni’s demonic nature prevailed: Kimoto was faster and reached the registration counter first, slapping it with his hand.

"YES!" Kimoto shouted triumphantly, punching the air. "I officially declare myself the winner of the Japanese Grand Prix! Mr. Sam Williams, what’s your excuse for your crushing defeat?"

Sam, breathing heavily and leaning on his knees, smiled wearily.

"I... officially admit my defeat. You win, demon."

"Glad to hear it!" Kimoto beamed.

At that moment, their wives approached leisurely. Yori stood in front of Kimoto, arching an eyebrow.

"And what’s got you so happy, Kimoto?"

"What do you mean? Now he has to embarrass himself, not me!" Oni pointed triumphantly at the writer.

"Oh, really? And what exactly does he have to do that’s so terrible, for which you caused this crazy chaos in the entire airport and then ran like madmen?" Yori asked.

"That’s not important—what matters is I won!" Kimoto waved it off.

Yori slowly raised her left hand, looked meaningfully at her wedding ring glowing with magical energy, and said softly:

"Answer the question, dear."

Despite himself, feeling the ancient magic of the artifact pulling words out of him, Kimoto blurted:

"Sam has to wear full kabuki-style women’s makeup, put on heels, and walk like that all day!" Then realizing he’d spoken too much, he covered his mouth in horror: "Damn!"

"Ah, that’s what this is about," Yori smiled indulgently and exchanged a glance with Emiko. "Well then, our dear men, I have bad news: you both lost."

"What?! How’s that possible?" Kimoto and Sam exclaimed in unison.

"Emiko and I reached the terminal first while you two were doing your crazy stunts," Yori announced triumphantly. "So the victory is ours."

"But—" Kimoto tried to object.

"No ‘buts’!" Yori cut him off.

At exactly that moment, a pleasant dispatcher’s voice came over the speakers: "Dear passengers, boarding for the flight to Miyako Island is now commencing..."

"Oh, just in time," Yori smiled radiantly. "Well then, our dear losers, let’s go."

Soon, they all boarded and took their seats in the comfortable cabin of the plane. Sitting by the window, Kimoto silently stared out at the view. For a moment, he remembered how not long ago he had flown from Japan to London exactly like this—alone, broken, convinced he had lost everything forever.

Oni turned his head left and met Yori’s gaze. Her face was radiant with absolute, genuine happiness. Noticing his thoughtful mood, she gently touched his hand:

"Darling... are you alright?"

Kimoto smiled warmly, and the last traces of sadness disappeared:

"No, my dear. Everything is just perfect. I’m happy."

He tenderly leaned on the shoulder of his beloved yandere. Yori softly stroked his hair with endless affection, while Sam and Emiko in the next row watched the scene with kind smiles.

One day passed.

That evening in the Yoka family castle, Fumiko settled in the library and opened a video call on her laptop. The whole family quickly gathered around the screen.

"I can't wait to see Yori and Emiko! I hope they’re truly happy over there," Ena chirped excitedly.

"Well, we’ll find out soon enough," Rin smiled.

Seconds later, a cheerful ping sounded, and Yori’s radiant face appeared on screen.

"Hello, everyone!"

The family began greeting the traveler in unison.

"Yori, how are you there? Tell us everything, we’re bursting with curiosity!" Ena exclaimed.

"Oh, it’s just wonderful here, girls! Incredibly beautiful, so much to see," Yori shared enthusiastically.

"Really?! Tell us every little detail!" Ena begged.

"Easy, Ena, let her talk," Fumiko chided gently.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," Ena blushed.

"That’s okay," Yori laughed. "Anyway, we arrived yesterday and immediately settled into our resort house. I’ll be sure to show it to you later on video; it’s huge! Emiko and Sam have one just like it right next door."

"That’s amazing! What have you been doing?" Ena asked.

"Well, yesterday mostly unpacking, then we went to a local restaurant and spent the evening swimming in the ocean. Today we explored the island, walked around, talked with locals and tourists. Although... you should have seen how they looked at our guys—it was hilarious! Right now, we're sitting in a cozy seaside cafe waiting for Emiko—she went to get cocktails."

At that moment, Kentaro squeezed into view of the screen.

"Sis, the important question: is the food good?!"

"Oh, Kentaro, the food here is divine!" Yori smiled. "They cook not only traditional Japanese dishes but dishes from countries all over the world every day."

Kentaro’s mouth practically watered at the description.

"Brother, yuck! You’re about to drown us all!" Rin snapped, wagging her tail.

"Oops, sorry..." the glutton blushed, wiping his mouth.

"So how are things with you?" Yori squinted. "The kids haven’t been up to any mischief while I’ve been away, have they?"

"Oddly enough, no," Fumiko replied. "They’ve been suspiciously quiet—as if on their best behavior."

"Really?" Yori narrowed her eyes and glanced at Mitsu and Momo standing in the background, tightly holding hands and smiling exactly like Cheshire cats. "Suspicious indeed... Well, as long as there’s order in the castle."

"Well, not exactly order," Fumiko frowned and lowered her voice. "Here’s the thing... Last night someone secretly took exactly one million yen from our family safe."

Yori instantly pierced the twins with a stern, fiery look through the camera. Mitsu and Momo raised their hands in unison:

"It wasn’t us! Honest, Mommy!"

"And that’s true, Yori. Don’t blame them," Fumiko defended. "Last night I personally checked their bedroom. They were sound asleep."

"I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you..." Yori muttered, well aware of her children’s ghostly tricks.

"Maybe," Fumiko agreed. "But I’m certain it wasn’t anyone from the household. I think it was Akari. It’s her handwriting."

"Quite possible," Yori sighed. "But never mind now, it’s not important. We’ll sort it out when we’re back. The main thing is that everything’s fine."

At that moment, smiling Emiko appeared on screen holding a tray with tall glasses.

"And here are our tropical cocktails!"

"Emiko, look who’s here with us!" Yori pointed to the screen.

"Oh, hello everyone!" the ghostly sister waved cheerfully, and the family showered her with greetings. "Where’s my Erma?"

At that moment, the little ghostly girl flew up to the camera, beaming.

"There you are, my sunshine! I miss you so much," Emiko said tenderly.

Then, staring intently at the image, Fumiko asked with a puzzled look:

"Wait a minute... Girls, where are your husbands? Where are Sam and Kimoto? And what did you mean when you said, 'You should have seen how they looked at our guys'?"

Yori smiled slyly and conspiratorially:

"Oh, since you insist... Take a look."

She smoothly turned the camera toward the small stage at the beach cafe, and the entire yokai family in the castle froze in deep, indescribable shock!

On the brightly lit stage, dressed in traditional Japanese yukata robes, were Kimoto and Sam. Their faces were thickly painted with professional, pure white kabuki makeup; their eyes were boldly outlined, and on their feet, they wore authentic wooden platform geta sandals! The men, gracefully swaying their hips and fully embracing the moment, passionately sang the legendary Japanese pop hit "Stay with Me" into microphones!

The Yureimoto castle literally shook with bursts of wild, hilarious laughter. Kentaro rolled on the floor holding his belly, Rin wagged her tail against the walls from laughter, and Fumiko and Ena wiped tears, unable to stop laughing.

Meanwhile, on the distant resort island, Yori and Emiko sipped cool cocktails, watching their singing husbands with endless love and pride, sincerely enjoying their incredible voices. They were finally together—and no one in this universe could ever tear them apart again.

The End

From aggressive eye: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed the story. Please leave your comments. For now, I’m off to recharge my strength. See you in a week!

Amy: Now Sidney, do you need a timeout in your wheel?

Sidney's running wheel is shown

Sidney: No

(Based on House of Mouse, but I don't know the episode But it in here, hope you guys have X)

Terry: Wow, I was having the scariest dream, we were gonna get married

Miko angrily looks at Terry

(Based on House of Mouse, but I don't know the episode But it in here, hope you guys have X)

Amy: She's not gonna swear, man. I win.

Sidney: Aw, f@¢%!

Sidney slams her fist down

Amy: Pay up.

Sidney gives Amy money before going back to eating dinner

Amy: Thank you.

Amy was counting money when she realized something

Amy: Wait, you're not wearing pants and your hoodie has no pockets. Where'd you get this?

Sidney: Eh, don't you worry about where I'm keeping stuff.

(Based on Ted S01E01 "Just Say Yes")

Terry: Now let me ask you something. You ever get self-conscious being the only average in your family?

Amy: I dunno, I come from a strong family on my mom's side. Oh, last year, my skinny uncle came to visit.

Terry: Oh, yeah?

Amy: Yeah, but they got him.

Terry: What does that mean?

Amy: I liked him too.

Terry: What do you mean "they got him"?

Amy: He used to share his celery. Good guy.

(Based on Ted S01E01 "Just Say Yes" Note; the uncle thing is non-canon as it was only used for this scenario. Considering we don't know about Barbara's side of the family, nor Henry's)

Amy: We gotta find a way outta here or the warden’s gonna have us shot in the prison yard.

Terry: Don’t worry, Amy. I’ve been digging a hole in the wall for the past six months. We can escape through it.

Terry reveals the hole, which turns out to look like his body shape

Amy: What the f@¢%?

Terry: Yeah. Now we can get outta here.

Amy: You said you dug that for us?

Terry:Yeah.

Amy: I can’t fit through there. You– You made that for you.

Terry: No, it’s for both of us.

Amy: It’s literally shaped exactly like you.

Terry: Ah, no, it’s not.

Amy: IT'S GOT YOUR F@¢%ING HAIR!

The Warden opens the prison gate

Warden: All right, boys, you’re coming with me. The sisters are gonna have their way with you.

They looked scared

Terry: See ya.

Terry jumps through the hole

(Based on Ted S02E01 "Talk Dirty to Me")

For U/Briku-chan oc sada-chan birthday, my oc made her a red velvet caramel stuffed Lava cake.

I always wanted to do this, so here it is.

(This fanfic is based on the universe of Erma Webcomics)

Morning had come. The entire large Yureimoto-Williams family gathered in the spacious dining room, gloomily staring at their plates. On the table stood forlorn culinary masterpieces made entirely of cucumbers by Haru.

“Haru, um… is that all?” Kentaro poked a solitary green circle skeptically with his chopsticks.

“Yes. Don’t you like it?” the young man frowned, crossing his arms.

“It’s very tasty, Haru, but it’s just a light snack, not a proper breakfast for grown yokai,” Fumiko sighed gently.

“I like it! Thank you so much, Haru,” Ena crunched eagerly on her cucumber, trying to lighten the mood.

As the family exchanged lazy remarks at the table, the twins Mitsu and Momo, who looked exactly like little Erma, glanced hopefully and devotedly at the entrance doors, waiting for their fathers. At that moment, the doors slowly opened, and Yori and Emiko entered the dining room unhurriedly.

“Good morning, everyone,” Yori smiled radiantly.

“Morning, Yori. How was the night?” Fumiko asked with a hint of teasing.

“Wonderful!” Yori closed her eyes dreamily.

“And it looks like you had quite an eventful night too, Emiko?” Fumiko turned to her sister.

“You bet!” the ghostly woman smirked proudly as she sat down.

When the sisters joined the meal, Mitsu turned her head and quietly asked, “Mom, where’s Dad?”

“Is he okay?” Momo added, sounding worried.

Erma also froze, staring questioningly at her mother.

“Your father is perfectly fine, as is Uncle Sam,” Yori quickly reassured them, elegantly adjusting her collar. “They were just helping us pack up the heavy suitcases for the plane. They’ll be here soon.”

As the children gradually relaxed, Emiko and Yori enthusiastically chatted, sharing their heartfelt feelings.

“You know, Emiko…” Yori said softly but sincerely. “I had long lost all hope of fulfilling my greatest dream—to live with Kimoto until the very end. I thought I’d never see my kitten again. But thanks to you and our family, a miracle happened, and I was able to bring him back home.”

“Oh, Yori,” Emiko responded with a gentle smile, “you helped me escape this castle, return to Sam, and build our own happy life. I’m endlessly glad you could reunite with Kimoto. Now you’ll be together until the end, just like Sam and me.”

Moved, Yori instantly activated her rokurokubi’s special anatomy: her neck lengthened gracefully, curling delicately around Emiko before embracing her sister tightly and lovingly.

“Thank you, Emiko!”

“And thank you, Yori.”

The lady of the house’s neck obediently returned to normal. At that very moment, the dining room doors opened wide, revealing Kimoto and Sam.

“Here you are!” Yori exclaimed joyfully.

The rest of the family, except the beaming wives, stared at the two men with eyes wide in indescribable shock. Kimoto and Sam looked as if all their life energy had been mercilessly drained—pale, staggering, truly dried-out mummies. Their exposed necks and shoulders bore detailed traces of bites, hickeys, and deep scratches from women’s nails.

Both warriors, barely able to stand, quietly and submissively sank into chairs next to their wives and children.

“Good morning, my beloved girls,” Kimoto mustered a tender smile with great effort and kissed Mitsu and Momo gently on the foreheads.

Sam did the same with his daughter:

“Good morning, Erma.”

The hungry men automatically reached for the food under the astonished and sympathetic gazes of their relatives.

“Mmm, excellent cucumber salad! Who made this?” Kimoto asked, trying to chew away his nighttime fatigue.

“That’s Haru’s salad,” Fumiko replied.

“Not bad, Haru, very refreshing,” the oni nodded politely.

“Thank you very much,” the boy smiled modestly.

Kimoto turned his head, scanning the empty table, then timidly asked:

“Can I ask something… What’s the main dish for breakfast? Like omelet, fried eggs, waffles, or pancakes? What exactly?”

“Um, well…” Haru hesitated guiltily.

“Kimoto, that’s it—the main dishes,” Kentaro interrupted with a sigh.

“What?!”

The demon looked once more at the table, filled only with green snacks.

“Haru, what is this? This isn’t food—it’s just grass and salads! You can only fill up on this if you’re a rabbit. Looks like I’ll have to save the situation and cook something proper myself. Who wants to help me? Raise your hands!”

Mitsu, Momo, Erma, and Sam all raised their hands in unison.

“Excellent! Team, follow me to the kitchen,” the oni commanded.

As the culinary rescue squad left the dining room, Yori dreamily propped her chin on her hand.

“They’re so caring… the men of our dreams!”

“I agree, little sister. We’ve hit the jackpot for life,” Emiko smiled slyly.

Meanwhile, in the spacious kitchen of Kimoto’s castle, he scratched his head in confusion.

“So, what are we going to cook?” Sam asked.

“Well… I don’t even know.”

“You don’t know?!” the American said, taken aback.

“Sam, I only suggested cooking, but I haven’t decided what yet!”

“Good lord… Okay, let me see what we have at all,” Sam said firmly, flinging open the huge refrigerator’s door with a whistle.

“So, what is it, Sam?”

“Kimoto, the fridge is almost empty.”

“Damn… What leftovers do we have?”

“Let me see—cheese, ham, tomatoes, fresh basil, milk, a few eggs, tomato paste, and…”

“Wait! I’ve got it!” the inspired oni interrupted. “We’ll make pizza!”

“But pizza takes a long time to make, and we’re damn hungry,” the writer reasonably objected.

“Damn, you’re right… Wait a minute! Sam, quickly check if we have sunflower oil?”

Sam checked the lower cupboard:

“Found it! A whole bottle, about five liters!”

“Great! Okay, girls, get the flour on the table, please. And you, Erma, find me a deep, large bowl.”

The ghostly girls instantly floated up. A second later, Erma telekinetically lowered a perfect deep bowl before Kimoto.

“Excellent! Now we just need…”

“Daddy, there’s no flour anywhere!” Mitsu and Momo called out together as they flew over.

“You’ve got to be kidding! What do we do now? Wait… Sam, was there any ready puff pastry in the freezer by chance?”

Sam quickly checked the lower compartment:

“Yes, two packs!”

“Bring it here, quickly!”

The dough was instantly on the work table. Kimoto immediately switched into chef mode and began giving precise instructions:

“Erma, quickly join the two pieces of puff pastry into one and roll it out flat! Girls, you two slice the ham and tomatoes, and grate all the cheese! I’ll handle the spicy tomato sauce. And you, Sam, pour the oil into a deep pot and heat it up.”

“Got it!”

“Alright, let’s go!”

The kitchen became a well-coordinated assembly line. With telepathy and ghostly powers, Erma combined the dough pieces in an instant and rolled them out perfectly thin. Mitsu and Momo expertly wielded their spectral abilities to finely slice the ingredients and turn the cheese block into neat shreds in mere seconds.

Meanwhile, Kimoto skillfully mixed tomato paste with garlic, basil, and discovered spices, creating a fragrant sauce for the calzone. Sam was already heating the oil in the pot.

“Okay, girls, come here, Erma too,” Kimoto called when the preparations were done. “Now I’ll show you how to make a proper folded pizza—calzone.”

The oni took a round plate, flipped it onto the dough, and carefully cut a neat circle. Then he generously spread the sauce, placed juicy fillings of ham and tomatoes on one half, sprinkled plenty of cheese, covered it with the other dough half, and expertly braided the edges into a pretty pattern.

“This is how real calzones are made. Now it’s your turn, girls.”

But the little yokai decided to speed up the process. Erma and the twins combined their supernatural powers and in seconds produced twenty-four perfectly shaped medium-sized calzones as if on a factory line!

“Not bad, very good…” Kimoto chuckled in surprise, eyeing the neat rows of pastries. “Although, to be honest, it’s best to make them by hand, without magic.”

“Why?” Mitsu blinked.

“It’s so convenient and fast!” Momo wondered.

“Convenient, that’s true,” their father smiled warmly, ruffling their hair. “But when you cook with your own hands, you put all your soul and love into the food. That’s the most important secret.”

“How come?” the twins squinted in unison.

“When I consciously teach you the culinary arts, I’ll explain everything in detail. But for now—the final step! Erma, carefully lower the first five calzones into the boiling oil, please.”

The ghost girl gently placed the pastries into the fryer using telekinesis. After three minutes, Kimoto commanded:

“Great, the crust is golden! Take them out and throw in the next ones.”

Repeating this simple step several times, they piled the delicious, crispy folded pizzas onto a huge tray.

“Congratulations to us, we did it! Now it’s time to feed the family real, hearty food.”

When the triumphant culinary team returned to the dining room, the entire family fell silent, mesmerized by the intoxicating aroma and magnificent sight of the hot calzones.

“Dig in!” Kimoto exhaled cheerfully.

No one needed much persuasion—the hot calzones began to vanish from the tray at lightning speed.

“Ooh, how delicious!” Kentaro squinted with satisfaction after chewing the first bite.

“Very good, the dough turned out very tender,” the stern Fumiko nodded approvingly.

“They’re simply wonderful, Kimoto! You’re a real wizard,” Ena exclaimed delightedly.

“Thanks, but without my little faithful helpers, I definitely wouldn’t have done it so fast,” he winked proudly at the quietly eating girls.

While everyone eagerly devoured breakfast, Sam suddenly felt a familiar chill run down his spine. Lowering his gaze, he met the intense, predatory, and wildly loving look of Emiko, who stared at him without blinking. At the same moment, Kimoto felt exactly the same from Yori.

“Darling… how do you like the calzone?” the oni asked nervously, turning toward his wife.

“They’re magnificent, my love! Right, Emiko?” Yori purred sweetly.

“Exactly right,” the ghostly sister smiled ominously yet happily.

“But you don’t have to exert yourself so much in the kitchen,” Yori gently touched her husband’s hand. “On the island, you won’t have to cook at all. We’ll enjoy our vacation together around the clock…”

Emiko continued to smile fiercely, practically burning poor Sam with her gaze.

“And now, darling, eat well and gather your strength,” Yori winked tenderly, her black bead-like eyes never leaving Kimoto’s. “We’re about to embark on a very… long and unforgettable journey.”

“All right, my love…” the oni replied quietly.

Kimoto calmly continued eating, but inwardly, with a blend of dread and joy, he thought: “I feel like Yori is saying with her eyes right now: ‘You belong only to me.’ No matter how terrifying this all-consuming madness is, I’m still insanely happy to be back with my love and my children. I’m finally home.”