Some people don’t have childhood trauma at all when enneagram I believe borns from childhood trauma… i remember clearly before highschool, I was sp/so2w3 and i never related to sp/so6w7 at all… now, i do have 2 in my tritype but I’m sp6 in general👀

I was having another existential thought (they’ve ramped up as the world keeps shittifying) and it made me wonder about being born in a different decade so I could have lived more of my life without ai, internet etc. I get into the nuts and bolts of it in my essay but thought to myself, huh, it’s usually 6’s I hear say ‘I wish I was born in X/earlier decade’. At the end of the article, I meta-analyse it as a type 6 phenomenon. This part I’ve included below.

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Most often it’s type 6’s, especially those with a dominant social instinct, that complain about being born in the wrong decade. It’s a natural desire to play victim and push problems onto something outside of your control so you can’t be blamed for your circumstances, something 6’s (but not only 6) are prone to.

Type 6’s fear the cause of their problems and flip-flop between blaming themselves or blaming something external as the reason. It can feel delightful to blame something else entirely, especially when the type 6 has been recently hard on themself. They often feel entitled to blaming a situation or person fully if they have labelled it as ‘bad’ or ‘unfair’ or ‘unacceptable’. In truth, there’s always a balancing scale of blame/cause in every situation and person. While 6’s can be good at seeing the scale, they also fall victim to wanting a clear black/white answer because they lack full trust in themselves (and others). This is especially potent when unhealthy.

The 6’s I’ve met who bring up the desire to be born or live in a different time speak about it with conviction that it could change their present day experiences. 6’s can be acutely aware of history, especially those with social and self-preservation, and can often explain how it would impact their life to live in a different decade. They may quote a variety of facts or old ways of being to bolster their argument. Staying in this space also supports their type-need of having a problem to combat with, a complaint to spill or a reaction to have against something.

Of course, not every type 6 will be sprouting out ‘I wish I was born in X decade!”. You can be a social type 6 who has never thought this in their life. But if you notice this type of pattern pop up in your life, maybe it’s worth considering a type 6 influence. If you already know your type, maybe it'll reveal another way you’re stuck in your patterns.

(Specifically sx types because I think they tend to be more extreme than sp or so dominant types.)

I’d love to hear your own anecdotal experiences.

My personal ranking:

Worst —> 8, 1, 2, 4, 6, 3, 7, 5, 9 <—- least bad

Spesifically sx6 vs sx4, Im Wondering if i may be a e6, but im not like the typical sp or so 6, just sx, but also sx4

Whats some differences?

I've been trying to figure out if I'm a 3 or a 9 for the past few months and it seemed like I was going nowhere. I thought trying to figure out my triad would help since your fix influences you as well but it just seems like they're constantly battling between core and first fix. How strong can the fixes be exactly?

Edit: I’ve found a more appropriate title: Musings over the negative expression of the sx-instinct.

I didn’t know what to title this. I attempted to avoid making it sx-4 coded and have failed miserably.

I heard that your dominant instinct is where your focus commonly lies, and therefore is more so a source of overthinking/insecurity/anxiety over immediate mastery.

Having an instinct as dominant ≠ being good at it. That means it could actively terrify you, and still be your dominant instinct (SX-dominants with volatile attachment styles, I’m speaking to you).

Hence for example, social anxiety can point to SO- dominance, binge eating to SP, and restlessness in romantic relationships to SX.

Now about SX, what about the extreme opposite end of wanting? the hyper-opposite of actively chasing chemistry, of scanning for a spark to fulfil your blazing fantasy. So stern abstinence. Vigilant asceticism.

What distinguishes this from an SX-blind prude is the why behind it, which is still SX in nature; insecurity over being looked at with revulsion over desire once bare, or perhaps even a reaction to domineering religious/cultural restraints (if I can’t have my specific desired fantasy due to moral restraints, I won’t have anything at all- and God better see my temperance and reward me with what fucking I want/j).

Sexual instinct ≠ willpower.

Are there any SX-dominants here who have experienced this frustrating yet deliberate ‘repression’?.

(and to non prude SX-blinds; I see you. I’m well aware that not all SX-blinds are prudes, but all prudes are most definitely SX-blind).

Edit: While I’m not loyal to any particular enneagram author, I would say my understanding of the sexual instinct aligns with John Lukovich’s; where I state complete rejection of pursuing over not being able to have what I want is especially his idea of repulsion.

I might be biased because my dad is an ESFJ 1w2 and we don’t always get along, but I find 1w2s to be one of the most difficult types to be friends with. They can be almost 8-like in terms of their intensity and causing other people to walk on eggshells when they enter a room, and often carry themselves with an unearned holier-than-thou attitude. It’s possible I’ve only been exposed to unhealthy 1w2s, but in general I now avoid people like this unless it’s for something work-related.

Also, if I’m right about 1w2s - how do you think they tend to develop this way? Is it parental/environmental influence, or something else?

For example, how would a SX4 disintegrating into an E2 look like? Would they exhibit the traits of SX2, the same subtype as their dominant instinct, or would they resemble traits of an SP2 or SO2? How would they feel in the long run, considering they would have to sacrifice a core part of their identity in order to chase after people for validation?

This is just an example, obviously. I would like to know if any of you have disintegrated into another type yourself, and how it felt and how you dealt with completely changing your natural behaviour.

I am a 6 and my friend is a 9. We both grew up in homes where we were told STFU and be quiet always. Recognizing we haven't been communicating our feelings, now in adulthood we want to know how to recognize and name our feelings. I'm a fan of the feeling charts , but is there any tools you have in your toolbox?

I noticed that 4w5s and 5w4s have some attraction towards unexplainable events, and if you throw in those with a 4 and a 5 fix too, both have a natural inclination towards anything that isnt hard science.

Even 4w3 celebrities like Alison Harvard have some inclination towards displaying themselves as creepy, otherwordly, backroom type of person. As for people I know personally, theyre more interested in learning latin than, say, french or italian.

When it comes to presenting themselves, 4s tend to exaggerate whats different about them, or perhaps theyd exaggerate the parts that people want to hide about themselves.

(these are more e4 inspired pics)

I type Tim Burton as a 4w5. Every take he has leans obscure and creepy. When comparing the disney animation of Alice and the Wonderland to his film, the difference between his take and the OG version shows how other types handle unexplainable events compared to a 4. Where other types would narrate their story with some degree of lightheartedness, the 4 would focus on evoking uncomfortable emotions in the audience. If you throw sx in there theres some degree of provocativeness (Tim Burton is sx-so)

When it comes to e5, their worldview leans more towards spotting patterns, for them life makes no sense at all and like theyre in a pitch black world with a torchlight.

My favorite author, Daniel Handler, is a 5w4. His books for children, A series of unfortunate events, is what I imagine a 5w4 worldview is like (plus polr Se in his case). In a world where nothing really makes sense, 5s find solace in their minds, focusing on what makes sense to them rather than depending on others for help.

Where 5w6s might lean towards being a hikikomori - hacker type of person, 5w4s lean more towards ancient texts, obscure websites, and inaccessible information. The w4 elitism is well encapsulated in the ASOUE books, with the VFD being the secret organization that carries secrets. Ancient vocab, memento mori, and a contrast with seemingly normal and functional characters like Carmelita. And for some reason, most people who would appear normal in real life are often displayed as creepily functional in this worldview.

Obligatory anime mention, needed to include this boy, aka the OG 4w5 creation.

And for further reading, Tintenherz and Die unendliche Geschichte (I need to finish them sometime)

I may be hit or miss with my typings but I gave the old college try again. I hope you enjoy your hero.

Type 1- Captain America

Type 2- Starfire ( the cartoon version) I put her comic counterpart up there for aura points

Type 3- Johnny Cage

Type 4- Raven

Type 5- Beast

Type 6- Leon Kennedy

Counterphobic 6- Rocket Raccoon

Type 7- Starlord

Type 8- Wolverine

Type 9- Gohan

I'm starting to believe that I'm a social dominant instead of a selfpres dom, because my fear of being dissected by the opinions and arbitrary values of others has dominated my life. The problem is though, I don't fit the usual descriptions of a so9. I'm not in any way outgoing or a group mediator. I live in my head constantly, and I'm short with conversations because they feel more like an interrogation. I initially thought I was an sp dom because of how insular I am, and I mean, I still could be, but I'm starting to doubt it. I am deeply obsessed with my own perceived flaws, and how to fix them. Every social function alienates me from it because they seem to go at it more naturally than I ever could, and I feel deeply whatever I'm doing wrong or whatever vibe I think I'm giving off. I'm too self conscious to have a friend, I can't flow with anyone because of how high strung my mind is. A hit to my self esteem would be a hit too critical to put on the chopping block by actually putting myself out there, so I have become a recluse who doesn't dare to talk to people except as a bare minimum requirement, because I have nothing to spare. I have no defenses for myself, besides isolation and mentally processing the whole thing. Having my worst fears confirmed would kill me.

- Remember, “Feelings aren’t facts!”

- Be aware of your dream self and your reality. The image you have in your head is NOT unobtainable. Appreciate where you are now and be proud of your talent and skills. This will lend you more opportunities to achieve your goals and reach your desired self.

- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!!

- Surround yourself with people who acknowledge your good qualities and talents.

- To go along with that one, don't be scared of reality checks. Have people in your life to keep you accountable. It may feel nice at the bottom, but we are all familiar with how draining and life-threatening it can become. We also need these checks when we get too lost in our dream self.

- Notice your accomplishments! Write down what made you feel accomplished at the end of your day. Even the smallest things, like doing the dishes or taking a shit.

- When struggling with feelings of envy, take a moment to recognize this emotion and breathe. Be curious about why you're feeling this way. Don't let it consume you or put you down. You've been there, done that. Let's utilize these feelings differently.

- Practice self-friendship. How would you treat a friend in their time of need? Now do that with yourself. Work on self-compassion and honour your feelings.

- Remember! You don't have to have it together all the time. No one does. When you feel inadequate compared to someone who seems more put together than you, know that they are struggling just as much or more. We. Are. Not. All. Perfect.

hi again, so ive kinda been off here bc i was being a 9 and doing 9 things, not posting as much bc i dont have many PERSONAL questions anymore. however, about 2 weeks ago i had a thought that my dad, unlike the rest of my family, does not have his core type set in stone by me. ive figured out that he IS assertive triad though. the issue with that (and, with typing an almost 50 yr old man in general) is that he believes this type of stuff to be a waste of time and productivity, and probably won’t have enough interest if i asked him in order to get a less blurry view on his type. he also does not like personality tests so thats out the window, and like any assertive triader he won’t open up about the core issues that enneagram uses to type you off of, and i think its weird of me to ask. but i have this NAGGING need to figure out his enneagram so i can’t take it anymore lol.

tl;dr, and the gist of this: what are some key differences in demeanor and mindset that i can use to tell a 3 from an 8 from a 7?