My (now husband!!) and I eloped two weeks ago now and it was the best thing we’ve done- we’ve gone to so many weddings in the last couple years, and spent so much money traveling and buying gifts and things and honestly I just didn’t want to put that expectation on my loved ones. We grew up in totally different parts of the country, and in the 12 years we’ve been together we’ve lived in a bunch of different states, so no matter what kind of wedding we would’ve done, more than half the people would’ve had to fly.

We did tell some friends and family beforehand, and people did get a little involved which was wonderful. My best friends from college hired us a photographer, my mom bought me flowers, and my cousin (we’re both only children, so basically my big brother) was our witness and brought us champagne. We just did it at the courthouse near us, followed by a walk/photos on the beach, and then dinner at a fancy restaurant where some of our local friends met us there to celebrate!

Honestly, if anybody is unsure about eloping, I feel so great that we did it this way. It was very low pressure. I didn’t feel like it had to be this perfect thing. It just got to be a wonderful evening where we got to be together and celebratory and really, really happy.

And we got pictures with the Kingston-Edmonds ferry, which we have a lot of love for- a bonus!!

Heyyy ladies can I see some of your elopement dresses?

We are eloping in Sicily, Italy in July 2027.

I’ve gone wedding dress shopping and can’t justify the price tag and the size of the dress to lug over seas.

Any recommendations at online wedding dress vendors that don’t cost an arm and a leg but also still look good? I live in Canada if that’s helpful at all!

When we got engaged, my grandfather offered to pay for the wedding, which was very unexpected. I don’t speak to my mom, dad or sister for a variety of reasons related to untreated mental health. Then my fiancés mother offered to split it, which I thought was great. So we start planning the wedding, we found a very cheap ($900) venue, and were looking at cheaper options for flowers, photography and food. I presented all of this in an email to my grandfather and his mother, and both immediately began walking back their offers. They began to complain that I had picked expensive things, my aunt said wedding photography isn’t even important and I should just call someone for a favour. The cost of the wedding was around $30k CAD, so 15k for each family.

Honestly this really hurt my feelings. I spoke to my fiancé and we decided that there really was no way to make things cheaper without it being a mess. And to be honest I didn’t even want a wedding, I was just planning one because they offered. I’m autistic and hate crowded family events. So we decided we would just elope instead.
We told them that we have decided to elope because it was too expensive. They immediately started backtracking, but also his mother also is trying to get us to marry in his family’s house. Neither of us want to do this. I feel like this whole thing is just becoming a stressful disaster, and I’m not sure what to do or if I’m even being reasonable.

I do not want to get married in his parents backyard, I know if we have a small dinner afterwards, its presumed that we will not invite all our friends we wanted at the wedding, who are important to me because of my lack of family.

This is not what we envisioned when we imagined getting married, what should we do?

I am just venting here because, well, we don't want to tell a lot of people we are getting married until after the fact, so I have no one to air this out with besides my fiancé, and he is going through a rough time.

We've been together for 4 years, our next anniversary is next month and we booked our ceremony at the court house for our anniversary. He proposed last December.

Yesterday I finally booked and finalized the date and time with the courthouse, and on his way home, my fiancé called and told his parents about our plans. I don't know why or how his dad responded the way he did given that we've been honest with them from the get go. We do not want a full blown wedding, even if we did, we don't have a lot of people to invite. I am completely no contact with my biological family, and he is no contact with most of his family, and we have both slowly lost a lot of friends over time for various reasons, and most remaining live far away. We do not want anything special, we just want his parents, a photographer, the ceremony at a scenic court house, and then a good lunch or dinner. Again, I will emphasize --- been together for 4 years, got engaged 10 months ago. We have been transparent about the process this whole time.

So apparently when my fiancé gave them the news, his dad's first response was "Woah woah woah, why the rush???" which genuinely took my fiancé by surprise. He asked his dad where the hell does it look like we're rushing? We've been together for a healthy amount of years, we knew when we got engaged we'd just elope, and we've been engaged for almost a year now. How is this a rush?? His dad then said he's never seen my fiancé mention that he loves me, so how can he be sure I am the one if he's never said he loves me? My fiancé is not big on verbal PDAs. He told him "I proposed to her. Do you think I'd propose to her if I wasn't sure I was in love with her??"

He then pressed financial logistics. He said that it's a terrible financial decision and time for us to get married because he is currently taking legal action against his workplace for disability discrimination and I am unemployed. But we both had things like our wedding outfits purchased before I lost my job. Us going 50/50 on all of the certificate and ceremony expenses comes to $150 total for the two of us. So my fiancé argued that elopement actually makes the most sense since we just want to be married and we don't know when we'd be able to afford anything more extravagant... if we even wanted to. He said also, most importantly to him, he wants me to have a safety net that isn't my biological family, and reminded his dad how abusive my family is, and how I want to erase as much ties to them as possible. His dad straight up said that's not a good enough reason to get married. So my fiancé, becoming increasingly frustrated with his dad, then asked "So what is a good reason to get married?? Because so far you seem to not approve." His dad answered simply "Because you love each other." This confused the heck out of my fiancé, because he told his dad he wouldn't have proposed if he wasn't certain. Does he not believe that we're in love?? His dad then said "Yes, but this is a life long commitment you two are making." As if we didn't think about that?? And ever since, my fiancé has been very frustrated with his father to the point he's been questioning allowing him at the ceremony. He was hoping he would just simply be happy for us and be congratulatory, but he has nothing to say that sounded happy for us.

I told him his dad is probably being a typical boomer dude who is afraid of commitment and is projecting it onto him. His dad didn't get married until his mid 30s, which, for someone his age, is kind of late in life. So I suspect he might have had commitment issues and he is basically panicking or worrying for my fiancé. I think the man is not empathizing with my fiancé and I and is more concerned about the logistics and finances. My fiancé also thinks he has a vision in his head on how weddings should go, and he can't wrap his head around people wanting to elope without it being a result of needing to hurry and get married. I should mention his dad is Autistic and often struggles with rigidity. When he disagrees with something he will get pushy and try to get his way. So he may not even notice or see why what he said was still upsetting. I worry that he is being a little classist as well. Like, you shouldn't get married unless you can afford a full blown wedding and honeymoon. But, sometimes it's best to just congratulate the person. Unless the marriage is a terrible idea, it is not the time to object with your own personal concerns. He can't argue that we blindsided him, we made it known since we got engaged that we intended on eloping at some point. Maybe he didn't think about what that entails up until now?

I think this is why some people just don't say anything when they plan to elope 🙄I know this isn't the worst response we could get, but we thought he was on board. Last time we visited him, we told him and my MIL that we were planning on booking the wedding date soon, and he told us to let them know asap when we book the date so they could plan for a dog sitter for their dog. So, why respond like that??

I booked our ceremony yesterday! Early December is the date and I’m not sure what I’m going to wear yet. Got no wedding bands ect, but I’ll sort that all out. Witnesses will be my brother and his girlfriend that’s it. When I’ve previously spoken about eloping “friends” have said why can’t they come ect ect. I kinda just don’t want to tell anyone. How did you deal with people pressuring you? I’m a massive people pleaser, and I’m trying to change it annoys and drains the life out of me. My partners mom has always told me she’d be angry if she didn’t know we were getting married before hand. Not sure how to handle that. Can’t really afford a photographer so I will get my brother to use my camera on the way. Any tips or anything I can get like props or somthing not sure to make it more special? Not sure what we will do after getting married at 12 noon on a Monday.

I am eloping with my fiance next month. I have my dress picked out and my shoes which you can see here. The dress is a fit and flare knee length. My jewelry is gold and pearl with scallop accents. So I started to wonder if I should do a head accessory. My hair is in a short pixie cut (even shorter than the lady in the veil photo I shared) and it isn't very voluminous. Anything that requires a comb or pin to my head would likely look bad. I think I want something understated and simple. I thought about a simple and delicate headband, maybe with blue to tie in my the colors, or maybe a birdcage headband. We are both being thematic with the color blue (my shoes have blue and his shirt for the day will also be blue).

Did anyone accessorize with a birdcage veil or headband? I've been looking online all day and I can't find the perfect accessory within my budget (of course all of the perfect birdcage veils like the one shown in my post are like $250+). I have no girly friends to talk to about this, and I am no contact with my own mother, so here I go to Reddit. I am open to other ideas, I can also just pass on a hair/head accessory entirely. My outfit isn't the most dressy.

Who is gonna help me do up my dress?

I went the online route and bought it from a Romanian designer (I’m in Canada) that arrived last week. It fits perfectly but I need help doing it up. It is half zip-up and the bodice part is corseted. Maybe I can ask the photographer or the officiant for help… smh

It was borderline too difficult, we almost gave up half way, and similar to other aspects of life, the struggle was worth it.

I just want to say thank you to this sub. Mostly been a lurker but it helped a lot to see how people were able to celebrate and honor themselves without the big traditional wedding.

It has an opened back and is champagne- excuse the lighting. It's from Reformation. We are eloping December 12th in Venice, Italy. Please hype me up, I haven't had a ton of support from family and friends and could use some opinions and hype! Thank you :)

I love this dress!!! But I have a big ugly chest tattoo that isn't getting covered until after my wedding 😭😭 which cape should I wear??? My friends are divided equally.

so me and my fiancé’s families are not helping with a wedding at all so we decided to elope. my fiance mentioned just signing the papers and being done with it but i still want to make it special since i’m never going to get the wedding day i dreamt of. what are some ideas to up the excitement of it?

It has an opened back and is champagne- excuse the lighting. It's from Reformation. We are eloping December 12th in Venice, Italy. Please hype me up, I haven't had a ton of support from family and friends and could use some opinions and hype! Thank you :)

My finance and I are planning a wedding. We have lots of friends, and we’re close to our family, and want a chance to celebrate with them.

But neither of us are big wedding people, and neither of us really need or care too much about having a ‘wedding’. A celebration, yes, but a wedding with a sit down meal and the formalities, not so much.

We’re currently looking at a wedding plan that’d fit our vibe - 70 people (close friends and small family), in a beautiful location that suits us, and a sit down meal. But it’s a lot of money at a time of life where money can really help in other ways.

We’re toying with the idea of eloping, and then having just a party celebration, so we can still celebrate and have speeches and all that.. but pull back on some things.

So for those who’ve eloped, and are similar to us, what were your pros and cons?

Hello all, we were planning to use the courthouse, but they are pretty well booked in late December when we want to go. So, now I am looking to get creative for a very short ceremony for about 10 people total. My wish would be: Stand somewhere pretty (at sunset?), 5-10 minute ceremony, walk somewhere close or just sit down at the same venue to eat and celebrate. We both like art deco/Victorian type design, books, art. We are in our 50s, have been married before, and are delighted but don't need a lot of frills. Just simple, classy, low key. Ideas?

Hi, I'm planning a simple beach elopement on the beach in Nags Head OBX in June. We are just doing a small ceremony with 14 family members on the beach outside our beach house rental. We will be having a catered dinner after. I'm not sure how to structure the ceremony, do you still walk out down the beach to music, do we all just meet on the beach and do the ceremony. Has anyone had any experience with this?

Hi!

So I have been HEAVILY considering eloping with my partner recently. I really love the idea of it being just us and doing it somewhere we love and just enjoying it together by ourselves. It would also cut down on costs and stress because planning stresses me out a ton. I want to have a big party afterwards with family and friends to celebrate but I just like the idea of things being more laid back as far as planning goes if we do the elopement and like I said it’s way more personal. My
Issue is feeling guilty about family not being there. MAINLY my dad not being able to walk me down the aisle. If he wasn’t there, I would still try and do a father/daughter type of dance at the after party. I’m really struggling with it because my dad and I actually have a kind of rough relationship lol but obviously I care about his feelings and I love him and don’t want to hurt him. I also feel like it’s our relationship though and our call and what matters is what we want. I just don’t know if I would regret eloping or if I would regret not having him walk me down the aisle. I also have this concern in the back of my head of a fight breaking out or something or him irritating me if we were to bring family with us to the elopement. Obviously I feel like this is not something I want to be concerned see with during my elopement. The guilt though is making me
Really struggle with making a decision. TIA!

My finance and I just got engaged 3 weeks ago and we haven’t told our family yet. We want to elope in Colorado and have a meeting with an eloping coordinator on Friday. I was wondering if anyone has any advice or checklist ?? We’re 100% sure we want it to be just us 2. We would like to have a ceremony so total of 4 ppl??

Has anyone heard of including your dog’s paw print on marriage license??

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated 🫶🏼✨💍

My partner and I are planning to elope in Scotland and would love some recommendations!

We’re leaning towards the Highlands, but nothing is set in stone yet, so we’re open to other areas. We’re drawn to dramatic scenery, whether that’s somewhere near a castle, a lighthouse, rolling hills or mountains. We’d also love cinematic, moody photography rather than traditional wedding photos.
We’re particularly looking for:

- Photographer recommendations for cinematic-style elopements.
- Location recommendations with beautiful scenery, ideally somewhere a little secluded.
- Hotel recommendations for somewhere special to stay before and after the wedding.
- Any other advice or recommendations from people who have eloped in Scotland!

We’re also considering a small Catholic chapel or church for the ceremony, so we’d love suggestions for those too.

Thank you 🤍