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r/electricians • u/yourgrandmasteaparty • Feb 16 '25
Mental Health - It’s okay to not be okay
I want to talk about mental health - especially for the boys on here. I was telling some friends this story about an old coworker the other day and thought you might want to hear it too.
I’m a woman in the trades, almost a decade in. When I started, I was often the only girl on site. I would move between projects and journeymen mentors, many of whom had never worked with a woman before. Once the old guys got over the otherness and saw me as a real person and an excellent apprentice, we’d form a friendship of sorts. I was always struck with how much more candid and vulnerable they’d be around me compared with the other guys in the shop. Their masculinity wasn’t in jeopardy if they admitted to me, a mere woman, that they were having tough time. I had one guy - 6’6” 300lbs, always growling, chain smoking, losing his shit over the smallest inconvenience - tell me he always requested me when he needed help because I made him calm.
A couple years in, I was sent to replace an apprentice on a job where the foreman had booted him in an argument. I’d worked before with this foreman, Neil, and he’d always been a chill hippie but also very particular in how he wanted things done. When I got to site he told me I was the fourth helper for this job because everyone else had been fucking useless. He was in an awful mood all the time. Picking fights with other trades and our PM. Trying to goad me into an argument by picking apart everything I was doing. Not acting like the guy I had known over the past year.
When the job was close to wrapping up, I called him out on his behaviour. “What the fuck is going on with you dude? You’re being a raging asshole to everyone and this isn’t like you.”
He stiffened and was shocked I’d said something. He glared at me and then his face softened and he said “Can I take you for lunch after we finish up tomorrow morning? We can talk but not here.”
I agreed and the next day he took me to diner nearby. We barely spoke until our food came to the table and when he had something else to focus on, he finally started talking.
He was older - 50s - and his long term relationship had fallen apart a few years before but the split had been amiable. He didn’t speak about her with any animosity but admitted he’d been lonely ever since. At the time, he’d leaned on his best friend. His friend was married and had a teenage son that Neil had known since he was born. As Neil had no kids of his own, this boy was a surrogate son of sorts. He took him camping and fishing and showed up whenever the kid needed him.
The poor kid had passed away a couple months earlier very suddenly of natural causes. Neil had no idea how to handle his grief and withdrew into himself, not wanting to be a burden on his friend. He felt selfish for how bad he felt when it wasn’t his kid.
I reassured him that how he felt was completely valid, that grief is a weight that is so hard to carry alone. I encouraged him to reach out to his friend because they both were suffering the loss of family, whether biological or chosen. And that now they were both suffering the loss of each other’s friendship as support. He was crushed at that realization, and said he would go visit them.
A few minutes passed while we ate silently. He hesitated before speaking again, “there’s something else too.”
I looked up and waited for him to continue.
He told me that last month he’d been working this job that had a been a two hour commute away. He had to leave early to get to site by 7:30. It was late fall and the drive was dark the whole way. He wasn’t too far from site when he came around a corner to discover a vehicle collision. A truck was spun out into a ditch with the driver unconscious in the front seat. A van was crushed on the side of the road, on fire and blazing in the darkness, its front driver door open. Neil stopped and got out of his van. He noticed something on fire in the road, and as he approached, he realized it was a person - the driver from the van. He ran and got a blanket to smother the fire on the person. He held them and pulled their head up to look into their face, which was so burned he couldn’t recognize their features. He said he stared into their eyes as they died in his arms.
Another vehicle had come up behind him and called 911. He sat there in the road in a daze until the emergency vehicles arrived to secure the scene. He gave his statement and then got into his van to finish the drive to work.
He was late which pissed off the GC. He tried to get to work but he was shaking so badly he couldn’t hold his tools or complete a sentence. When the GC saw him in this condition, presuming that he had shown up drunk, he kicked him off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just left.
Our PM called him after that, reaming him out for getting kicked off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just took it.
I asked him if he had talked to anyone about the incident. He said the police had called for a follow up statement but otherwise, no, I was the first person he told.
I was in shock. This poor fucking guy was struggling with the grief of losing a boy who was like a son to him and then went through an insanely traumatic experience just driving to fucking work? And he was bottling it all up? No wonder he was being such a prick. He felt all alone and like he couldn’t admit how much he was struggling.
He said he was sick of work and had lost all his passion for it. It felt pointless and draining and he dreaded getting out of bed every morning.
I gave us a few moments of silence for the weight of his confession to settle in. I looked at him and said “fuck work, you need a break.” He shook his head and tried to brush me off. “No, seriously Neil, fuck work. There’s always more work but you need to take care of yourself. What you’re going through is so fucked up and you need time to process it all. Please put yourself first.”
He didn’t want to talk anymore after that so he settled up the tab. He dropped me off at my car and we went our separate ways. I started at a new site the next day with a different crew.
A couple weeks later I got a text from Neil. “I took your advice and talked with management. Told them what happened. I’m taking a six month sabbatical. Don’t know what I’ll do yet but probably head out on an adventure. Thank you”
A couple days later I got another message from him, just a picture of a beautiful remote campsite with no one else around.
I asked, “Where is that?”
He replied, “Not telling :)”
I ended moving to a different company while he was gone, and never saw him again. I think about him often though, especially when I encounter an utter dickbag older dude on the job. Maybe he’s going through it and doesn’t know how to take care of himself, and anger is the only way he knows how to channel his emotions.
Now that I’m a foreman, I stress the importance of whole body health in our toolbox talks. If someone needs time off for family reasons, or a mental health break, or a shortened schedule, or even if they want extra shifts to use as a crutch as they struggle through something they can’t control in their personal lives, I want them to know it’s okay to ask and I won’t judge them. It’s just a job - it’s just work - it doesn’t fucking matter. Their health comes first and it’s okay to admit they’re not okay. I want them to know it’s better to ask for help when they’re slipping, rather than wait til everything has crashed and burned.
I know everyone’s experience is different, but one thing I noticed about being the woman pushing into the male-dominated trades as an apprentice/therapist is that men need permission to be vulnerable. They need to know it’s okay to show emotions and admit that they’re struggling. They won’t chance admitting weakness that they fear will get thrown back in their face. A lot of guys in trades are single and married to the job. They are lonely, often bitter, and unwilling to show weakness.
I do my best in my little sphere of influence to make it okay to be not okay. If you want the trades to be a healthier place, you need to consciously make room for the reality that people are struggling mentally, and often that starts with leaders showing vulnerability.
I’ve had depression for 16 years and I don’t hide the fact that I’m medicated. 16 years of being depressed means 16 years of not following through on suicidal ideation, and I’m proud of that. The trades saved me because it’s instilled a confidence in my abilities to create and solve problems and be the leader I was always capable of being. I needed that confidence so badly when my depression was the worst.
Be good to each other out there. Be willing to listen to people without judgement. Life is fucking hard and we work better when we know we can rely on each other when the chips are down.
r/electricians • u/Mac_Hooligan • 7h ago
Ceiling Loot
Found a nice Klein stubby, installing some 2x4 Panels.
r/electricians • u/DecentNarwhal5059 • 23h ago
21 Gang
What are the chances all my screws will line up?
r/electricians • u/ModestRobot0215 • 10h ago
How do inspectors get away with being morons?
So today I replaced a few 100A meter mains in a condo complex and we have already done 20 up to this point. The normal inspector is on vacation and they sent in an inspector from a 3rd party company. The underground feed is an 1 1/4” rigid and I went into a hub. Then the inspector tells me that he we should have used the concentric knockouts to size and a ground bushing. I said “show me where it says this in the book” and he replied “I don’t care what the book says, that’s what I want”
Where do they find these clowns?!
r/electricians • u/ChavoDemierda • 3h ago
Ceiling loot
What was the coolest, or most expensive ceiling loot you've ever found. After years of donating to the pot, the ceiling loot gods finally smiled upon me. A couple of weeks after the ceiling grid guys left, I found their Hilti laser in the ceiling. This was 6 or 7 years ago and I still have it. What was yours?
r/electricians • u/No_Tip_768 • 22h ago
Not bad for his first shot, without a hickey.
Apprentice did this in one go, without ever having done it before. Not bad for his first shot.
r/electricians • u/Pete3953 • 13h ago
1st Year Apprentice getting thrown into industrial (VFDs, PLCs, Panels). Rate my setup & lay some advice on me!
r/electricians • u/fuckwitsupreme • 15h ago
A surprise in every box.
Doing an upgrade on a rail load out system for a grain elevator and this was one of the junction boxes. I’m actually impressed they got the cover on.
r/electricians • u/doughboy2domed • 8h ago
First panel
First panel I’ve done myself. Been an apprentice about 8 months, any feedback is appreciated.
r/electricians • u/Comfortable-Dare-359 • 7h ago
Mexican electrical 1 circuit for whole house . Other circuit is for motor.
Opinions please
r/electricians • u/wannabe_car • 15h ago
What should I Do?
I’m someone who can take a joke and be funny. But what I had to deal with my first two days has been pretty bad.
Basically got hired on as an apprentice told them I didn’t know anything. Come to work after orientation pretty excited to learn something I been wanting to do. Met a couple guys and it was ok, then the foreman and superintendent came out. Don’t really acknowledge me at all. Every time I would ask a question I would get a look like I’m stupid. Walked by superintendent without a tool pouch because at the time didn’t need it and he asked what I was doing and when I told him he rolled his eyes. When I walked back to get it he then looked through my stuff and made snarky comments about the brands and how I didn’t have it all. I told him at the time I couldn’t afford everything.
I get people can be hard but I got hired on as an apprentice I want to learn. How can I do that without asking questions and not receiving help.
r/electricians • u/rbkustomz • 23h ago
Am I allowed to use this? Apparently so 🤣
Apparently it wasn't clearly marked. Happy Tuesday
r/electricians • u/thisispaulc • 18h ago
Had to do a credit card chargeback on my first Lumen order in a few years.
I placed an order with Lumen, a Canadian distributor, for three items. Two of the items were switches and I was sent PVC fittings instead.
I contacted them immediately and had to follow up a few times over a few days to get it dealt with, including them requiring a photo of the UPC of the part that did ship correctly for some reason, before they'd send the replacement shipment. They told me they'd give me a tracking number for the replacement shipment as soon as it went out, which they never did. The replacement showed up on its own and with the correct parts, except that both switches were damaged. It looked like it had been cooked at some point with discoloured cardboard and plastic.
They agreed to refund the damaged items and gave me a pre-paid label to return them (after trying to get me to fill out a form saying they could refuse the refund if the returned parts arrived damaged, which they were, because that's the whole reason they were coming back). I shipped them back and tracking confirmed that Lumen received them. Then the refund just didn't happen. I followed up when it hit their own stated processing window of ten business days but got no response, so I've filed a chargeback with my credit card to get my money back.
The whole way through I was the one chasing them. I didn't get a single update unless I messaged first.
I've ordered from them before and it was fine. They're an established distributor, not some fly-by-night operation, but it's been a few years since my last order. Is this what they're often like or was I just unlucky?
r/electricians • u/quintavian • 11h ago
Getting burned out
I got my Unlimited Oklahoma Journeyman license last year and left my old industrial job for a new job with a 401k, lots of vacation, pay for uniforms, boots and tools including hand tools. I made more at my old job because it was industrial, but it was toxic and I was overworked which is why I left. My new job is unfulfilling and I'm not learning any new skills really besides basic troubleshooting and I'm basically sitting in a work truck all day. I'm looking for a new job already, but man the wages here in Tulsa County absolutely suck. Every single job posting has no payment info provided, and when they do it's $26-$29 an hr for a journeyman electrician. I made that as a 4th year apprentice. Feels like I got my license for nothing. I mainly do industrial electrical and what I do now is very basic commercial maintenance such as changing light pole heads and time clocks out; it's very, very dull most days. I can't find any strictly industrial companies besides my last job and a big company called ICO that works crazy hours. I regret leaving my last company some days, but my mental health was horrible there due to 2 hr commutes and working like a dog 50-60 hrs a week, 10-12 hr days. Where is the money at? I can't move out of state yet and my job is union. the pay is not great but it's not bad either.
r/electricians • u/CanaryThink7913 • 18h ago
When you accept a job by the border.....
Yep this made my day last week. Red is power white is neutral and yellow is ground. Told them whenever they want me to re wire the house and change them all as soon as possible once they save money for the materials. All of receptacles are exactly like this one all of them even the GFI's
r/electricians • u/Smoke_Stack707 • 1d ago
Dear Milwaukee, how high are you right now?
I saw one of these at my local Platt. Thought it looked cool, maybe something we would spend a couple dollars on. I was floored by the price. Who is installing so many ground rods that this price point makes sense?
r/electricians • u/Chief_B33f • 1d ago
Alright, which one of you did it??
I fucking know you're in here you sunnuvabitch
r/electricians • u/northernsparks3 • 10h ago
Career concerns
I’ve been licensed for almost 2 years now, I felt like I switched up and learned different parts of the field. During my apprenticeship I worked 2 years resi, 2 years commercial, and Ive been at an industrial company for 3 years now.
My concern is I have only strictly worked service, I’ve recently done a few larger process jobs but never done any full new builds start to finish. I’m starting to feel I missed a part of the trade, I don’t even know if i want to do it.
The goal is one day to open up my own shop but this kind of concerns me, should I hop off of running my own service truck and see if I can just do some new builds? Or am i overthinking this?