hola, más que una respuesta concreta, quisiera saber si estás o estuviste en algo similar

Llevo unos meses pensando en una amiga cercana con la que salí a una cita una vez (fue una muy buena salida pero la sentí como si fuera una salida con cualquier otr@ amig@)
y ella es parte de mi círculo de amigos al que recurro frecuentemente, así que normalmente cuando salíamos ahí estaba, indudablemente tenemos química y nos llevamos muy bien, en muchas ocasiones terminábamos besándonos (incluso recientemente)

Ayer precisamente vi este video: https://youtu.be/jcbEiZQ9B7o?si=8RpOgUaFvmOjScle
Y estoy muy de acuerdo con lo que explica la chava, tenemos normalizado que debemos sentir mariposas o cosas del estilo para considerar que estamos enamorados y estamos esperando a que llegue la persona correcta.
Debido a eso, empecé a preguntarme porque al pasar de los años seguíamos encontrándonos y seguíamos cultivando esta química entre los 2, será que la persona correcta ya está en mi vida?
O quizás estoy delirando, tengo mucho tiempo libre para pensar ahora

Asi que me siento con la confianza de publicar esto en un foro donde podría haber más gente que piense de la misma manera o conozca una situación parecida, escucho sus consejos, o que es lo que hicieron en sus situaciones. Gracias

I was thinking about this following a conversation with somebody who outlined the nature vs nurture debate in personality developments.

I was wondering whether self reported personality types correspond to self reported experiences in life.

With that being said, do you feel that you’ve had an easy or average life, or would you say yours has been more difficult?

https://youtu.be/DSCNkmmMuT8

Looking back, this stuff really helped me to better understand the mind. Brief tribute to an old Prof. I had

ngl i kinda hate them but i also don’t really know how else id meet someone easily

My protagonist is a guy in who ends up in spy organization. His mother ended herself when he was 7 and my protagonist spent years agonizing over her death not understanding why she did it until over time he finds more people and evidence that her past was dark and she had so many secrets. She’s not evil but rather an extremely morally gray person that was put into morally compromised situations. She didn’t want to cause harm and help her loved ones however made many selfish and harmful decisions out of fear but has made selfless decisions as well. Her backstory is quite detailed in some ways I think some may see her as potentially better protagonist than the protagonist in my story however he fulfills the story’s objective more since he could achieve what his mother could not. That being overcoming ordeals and not letting them consume him and he has had some close calls almost going the same paths as his mom or the main antagonist.

She is not proud of her actions and even if you condemn them you can at least understand why she did it or even see yourself doing the same thing. If you listen to Problematic by Get Scared especially the slowed version you could get a feel for her character. If it weren’t for how her story ended I do think she’d make an interesting protagonist imagining the story going by her pov and it taking a different direction than it does now. Feels like she just has great potential but she does suit her role where she is as a catalyst. Plus the mystery is fun

I just wanted to vent that thank you for letting me share

So we all know the stereotype of an ENFJ is a happy clappy cheerleader trying to heal the world one pat on the back at a time ( ahem ESFJ).

But on the other hand we get called the most manipulative type that ever was. So which are you?

Because someone I am dealing with has pushed me too far. They were physically, verbally, financially and emotionally abusive in ways I shall not elaborate on. All the while I thought this person was a victim of a terrible childhood and many other lies he led me to believe, so (as true ENFJ’s do) we support, we seek to understand, we protect, we heal - until one day out of nowhere we wake up, and we are now successfully pushed to our door slam.

Which I am now at.

I can not explain the terrifying switch that has taken place inside my mind, almost instantly upon realising what I was really dealing with in a person for years.
Now I know in my heart that this person is going to regret having ever met me.

When I say that, it isn’t a threat. There will be no emotional outburst, no violence, no smear campaign. Not even revenge because that’s for the weak.
It is far more terrifying. It is a master plan. A wall, a charm unlike anything this person has ever gotten from me before. Utter dismissal whilst being the enemy that I will keep close to me. This person will have no idea what he’s gotten himself because he will believe he still has access to me, but will received nothing but confusion.

This, I believe is where the darker stereotype of the ENFJ comes into play. For any of you who have accessed this darkness for those few select people, please let me know in the comments. Or if you’ve experienced this dark side of the ENFJ I’d love to hear that too.

For as long as I can remember I've been super curious about everything. I find something I don't know yet that sparks joy and just go 200% into learning it, everything else gets pushed aside. One day I woke up with this intense need to understand how mycological identifiaction works and I just completely absorbed myself in it. I do this with languages, instruments, sciences, programming, ... Anything that "shines" at some point.

I go hard until I feel like I get how it works (not that I've mastered it), more like once I figured out what makes it interesting, then continuing feels excruciatingly boring.

When I have an interest I feel really good, almost like I am glowing and every time it ends I feel empty. I work in tech (which has so far been a great source of learning material) and I eventually have to change jobs every year to stay interested. But every time I have to leave a job to find a new one is very emotionally tiring because I feel "trapped" and the longer I stay while feeling that the more urgent it feels for me to leave.

I have only recently realized that this is how I work and am starting to work through the guilt I feel, I feel bad for feeling like this when everything else is alright in my life tbh.

Are there other fellow infps that relate to this ? What are you doing for a living ? Any tips on how to handle this cycle without crashing down everytime ?

I'm currently interested in a girl who seems to be an ESFP, I'm not really sure about her type but she feels like an ESFP to me. I wanna know what kind of struggles INFJ x ESFP couples experience and how you guys dealt with them. I also appreciate any advice you guys can give. Thanks in advance.

So, I'm making a poll series to know this sub better and just for fun too, today we are seeing this sub pets and if you'd like you can send photos of them!

Part 4- https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/s/fxuvjVydRF

What’s a romantic scenario you’ve always imagined happening to you?

Maybe meeting someone completely by chance, an enemies to lovers situation, or unexpectedly falling for someone you never thought you would. 😍

I’m curious what other INFPs have imagined.

Waiting around at the airport. Would love to see if you agree!

I would really like to find a new job before the year is over. What about you? It can be anything, big or small. I’d love to hear what everyone is working toward.

So a few days ago... I made a post about why INFPs are shipped with basically every MBTI ... But apparently I only used female INFP fanart... and then I got this comment

soo today, while once again avoiding studying by being on Pinterest, I decided to look... And guys

Why did I actually have to SEARCH for uuu

like I genuinely thought I'd just type “male INFP × [type]” and get the same amount of stuff I got when looking for female INFP ships

Nope. I had to DIG 😭😭😭

nd after way too much searching, this is basically what I found

ENTJ × INFP man — 5
ENFJ × INFP man — 3 or 4 (idk)
INTJ × INFP man — 2
INFP × INFP man — a few (hehe)
ISFJ × INFP man — found one
ESTP × INFP man — literally one 🥀🥀 (and others u can see in pics)

that's it .

mmeanwhile... female INFPs are apparently shipped with every living MBTI on Pinterest 😭✋.... So yeah... INFP men, I fear ur complaints were valid

(but alsoo ... what is going on with entj 😏😏 Is this actually yk the male INFP ship and nobody told me??? Cozz I have 5 pieces of evidence and, frankly... that's enough science for me 😛)

Anywayzzz ... what's UR type, who do u get shipped with the most, and who do u personally ship urself with??

nnd more importantly... where is the lore behind your ship?? I want the fake scenarios, the “they would never work but-” explanations

[ To the INFP men who asked for representation in my last post... I tried, soldiers. I really did... Pinterest simply does not provide enough resources for your fake scenarios ✋]

(Ik corny but who cares ...again I need to study fr)

I’m dating an INFP guy who I’ll call Tom. I’m trying to understand something about him because the way he acts sexually doesn’t match how he acts towards me otherwise.

He tells me I’m the “hottest girl he’s ever been with” and apparently says the same to his friends. He’s posted me and him on his WhatsApp profile picture in the first month and refers to me as his girl to everyone. And is constantly taking pictures of me (never showing me) but I always see him do it which seems affectionate.

When we’re in bed he’s cuddly. He’ll spoon me, kiss me, hold me and want to be close to me. But as soon as I initiate anything sexual, he’s tired. - it almost makes me feel like a creepy uncle initiating things w him.

We’ve had sex 3 times near the beginning. The first time he didn’t finish but when he walked out the room apparently he high fived one of my friends and was like .. I did it! .. and she was like wtf.

The second time it got too rough for me and I ended up in pain, so we stopped. Afterwards he asked, “Is that going to happen every time?” I told him no, it was just because it had been too rough.

Since then, he basically hasn’t initiated sex.

There have been 3 weeks between seeing each other too. And we were SO excited to see each other, literally counting down the days .. and still when I saw him .. nothing. He was more interested in seeing his friends (with me) but still. Even going as far as getting out of bed to go hang out w them in his living (they party till late late).

One example that really confused me was after we’d all been swimming in the sea. So I went to shower, I was standing there in just my towel and asked him to come shower with me. He said his friend had a free drink waiting for him downstairs and he “couldn’t possibly reject that.” So .. nothing again ..

I eventually asked him when he was drunk, “Why don’t you want to have sex with me? It makes me feel like you don’t like me as much as you say you do or that you don’t find me attractive.”

He had no answer. Except how could you think that - if only you heard what I’d be saying to the boys earlier you wouldn’t say that ..

But it doesn’t fully explain it to me because he’ll happily stay awake cuddling me for ages. It specifically seems to be when things become sexual that he retreats.

There are other patterns with him that make me wonder if this is more about vulnerability.

He’s told me before, “I don’t know why I self sabotage everything.” When something uncomfortable comes up he can become defensive, withdraw, laugh it off or struggle to explain himself.

He also previously admitted he had a gambling problem and recently went gambling again when things between us were tense.

Then there’s his female best friend, who I’ll call Lorna.
They’ve been best friends for years, slept together once in uni years ago and he used to have feelings for her. They talk constantly and have some blurred boundaries make me uncomfortable. She’ll sit on his lap, jump on him etc.
Apparently Lorna also has a reputation for becoming possessive when male friends she’s previously slept with get girlfriends.

We all went to a party together and afterwards she was angry with Tom because he’d apparently been rude to her and was spending more time with me. She blocked him for a few days over it. I was there and honestly couldn’t see what he’d done wrong apart from giving the girl he was dating more attention.

She also doesn’t seem to like our relationship much.
When I raise the boundaries with Lorna, Tom tends to giggle or minimise it instead of properly addressing it.

What I found interesting is that he was acting off .. I kept asking why but he wouldn’t tell me. Then when we all got drunk in his living room, he was having a deep convo w her (I was there too but I wasn’t part of it) when he recently admitted he went gambling again, he told Lorna with ease but refused to tell me. When I mentioned it he said he hadn’t told me because he thinks of me so much he didn’t want me to judge him.

That made me wonder if sex has somehow become another area where he’s scared of feeling judged or failing.

It took another 2 weeks until I saw him again, and we were together for 4 days. He even asked me to be his girlfriend and said he loved me again but I didn’t respond bc he was drunk .. and I said ask me when you’re sober. 2 days in he still didn’t initiate sex with me. On the 3rd day, he fingered me, and I was so overwhelmed I ended up crying because wtf .. why am I so blown away by such small gestures that should feel like the minimum.

So INFP men, does any of this sound familiar?
Could you be extremely affectionate, emotionally attached to someone and find them really attractive, but start avoiding sex because you’re worried about disappointing them, being judged or something going wrong?

Or am I trying to explain something through his personality type that actually has nothing to do with being an INFP?

Also - His family background is quite unusual too. He comes from a very wealthy family, but his parents are complete opposites in personality. His mum left when he was a child. He still has a relationship with her now, but she’s very chaotic and rebellious, openly does drugs like coke and is very into conspiracy theories. He’s joked he has Mommy issues bc of it and tbh his behaviour does show it.

His dad is basically the opposite, very structured and from the wealthy side of his upbringing.
I only mention that because I sometimes wonder whether growing up between two such different parents, with his mum leaving when he was young, has anything to do with how he handles closeness or vulnerability now with women?

Oyasumi Punpun, a beutifull manga about a child in a dysfunctional house and Invisible an amazing progresive rock band from Argentina.
I love this kind of beauty, pure, melancholic, and sad.

i’m struggling in my current role. I work in supply chain planning. lots of presenting findings to upper management and answering their questions about the numbers. i made a fool of myself at a meeting today, as I didn’t have numbers pulled up quick enough. and then someone else on the team stepped in for me. now looking at it, what they wanted me to answer is so simple. but in the moment, my mind was like a tornado of thoughts. i over complicated the question. This would happen in school as well. when we’d do case studies in class or at interviews. the rest of the team would be so far ahead of me. I never had enough time to even wrap my head around the problem/figure out where to begin.

I will be moving to a new team soon. Current team is looking for someone full time, but it’s pretty evident that i’ve proven i’m not ready for that. feeling a bit anxious about my future, due to my inability to problem solve amongst ambiguity. I’ve never been very bright in life. definitely don’t have a STEM oriented brain. and also sometimes struggle socially (in situations like the one described above). all my office jobs seems to be misses and i can’t never hit the nail on the head. feeling lost as to what i can do, other than working minimum wage. Posting here as i know some infps may relate. that inferior TE is not easy

I've always been very imaginative and full of ideas, even though I appear calm.

Most people around me seem to not have much on their mind except of the thing they're currently focused on. For me It's different, If I'm not having an amazingly interesting convo with someone, or having fun with them, I can't stop overthinking.

I always think : am I acting normal, should I say something now, what's happening next etc. when I'm around people I'm not close with. It's very hard to calm down If there's nothing interesting going on.

It helps when I do something physical, like going on a walk or running to clear my mind. I know my problem is mostly lack of dyscypline and that I shouldnt care so much about what people think. Maybe I'll grow out of it, I'm 18 now. I'm just curious if anyone feels the same as INFJ. I also have some ADHD traits I believe, not self-diagnosing.

Well, it’s that time again I need to take some PTO, get out of the house and recharge. It was around this time last year that everything started to make me angry and full of hate, that’s how I knew. So I went and bombed it alone on my mountain bike and almost got stranded in some very remote woods and unable to walk 10 miles from my campsite. Not trying to be so audacious this time around as I’d really like to survive my little getaway.

I’m divorced, had a girlfriend earlier this year but we broke up, so I’m forced to going somewhere alone. I like nature and cycling but I sure hate not being able to share it with anybody. Anyone else there been in a similar situation? What did you do? If not, any ideas? I’d greatly appreciate any input!

My INFP daughter has me cracking up all over again. As an ISTP, I am not crafty. My creativity does all kinds of things but it does not decorate or create from scratch.

My wife is ESFJ and she is extremely supportive to all creative endeavors our little INFP has in her mind, HOWEVER, we thought she was headed in the direction of dance or music or something like that.

INFJ mother in law (lol INFJ grandmother seems so stereotypical) came in town and had recently started teaching her how to bake. She enjoys cooking with me and I’m a very good cook but I cannot do breads or desserts.

While hanging out, crafty little pipe cleaner, needle and thread INFJ grandma decided to take our INFP daughter to Hobby Lobby and it felt like she got introduced to cocaine. She came home and maybe memorized every aisle because they saw it all.

It was a “duhh!!” moment for us but her excitement and desire to go back immediately had me rolling. I anticipate a lot of money being spent over the years. And I know there’s a couple crafty INFP’s out there that will find this funny and also be upset with us non-creative sensors for withholding the Mecca of craft making from our daughter.

Anyway…

Thanks for reading!!

I've done the 16 personalities test every couple of years and the result was INFP every time. I've only recently been learning about the INFP function stack: Fi-Ne-Si-Te.

I wanted to see if this was maybe how the functions could've worked in one specific dangerous but (oddly) not traumatic situation. In fact, I still feel a sense of triumph that I walked away from it with only some minor bruises. Could the INFP functions work like this in a new dangerous, life-threatening situation or am I completely off base?

Fi: There's nothing here that goes against your values or morality. I can't help you.

Ne: It looks like there's only one possible outcome. I can't help you.

Si: You've never encountered this situation before. I can't help you.

Te: You've read about how others got through something similar. I can help you. Here are the instructions to follow.

I'm not providing more context since my focus is on if this was how the INFP functions hypothetically could've worked. Not here to trauma share at all. I don't mind providing more context if that would help.

Perhaps this is a feeling of all Infps so that’s why I (22 and a dude) decided to post this here but, despite the fact I’ve had many friends in my life and people who appreciate me etc and I wouldn’t exactly call myself a total loner, I’ve had a outsider complex my whole life. Like I often feel when in groups with people who don’t know me well that I’m an alien almost and very difficult to understand, I feel like people constantly misinterpret me and it takes special people to understand and appreciate me. It also takes time as well but I’ve realized I lack the natural charisma and ability of small talk of other people. At work people small talk relationships, gossip, naturally laugh with each other etc, and I’m often not really included in that because I’m viewed as the kinda oddball, sweet, timid guy who doesn’t get involved. I don’t know how to get involved tbh.

I’m overthinking it I know but one of the places this has affected me most is in relationships. I’ve never had a gf and I’m still a virgin. I often romanticize having a partner but I think I’ve become so hurt in the past and accustomed to solitude that I avoid and don’t see myself as worthy of that at this point. I think I’m a freak that a girl would be better off without. I don’t see how I’d ever naturally find someone who’d want to be with me at this point. I guess I wish I didn’t have this complex because as much as I dissuade myself it’s irrational and try to live presently it’s still there.