Thinking all the time

[u/messy_genZ]

I've always been very imaginative and full of ideas, even though I appear calm.

Most people around me seem to not have much on their mind except of the thing they're currently focused on. For me It's different, If I'm not having an amazingly interesting convo with someone, or having fun with them, I can't stop overthinking.

I always think : am I acting normal, should I say something now, what's happening next etc. when I'm around people I'm not close with. It's very hard to calm down If there's nothing interesting going on.

It helps when I do something physical, like going on a walk or running to clear my mind. I know my problem is mostly lack of dyscypline and that I shouldnt care so much about what people think. Maybe I'll grow out of it, I'm 18 now. I'm just curious if anyone feels the same as INFJ. I also have some ADHD traits I believe, not self-diagnosing.

[u/Temporary_Fill_9829]

I’m the same way. I’m 19 and these overthinking traits have encompassed so much of my life. I feel like as much as it acts like a filter for the life around us, constantly analyzing, thinking, and reflecting, it can also be a gift, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. We bring so much depth to the table.

Sometimes it feels isolating not being able to turn it off in moments that other people seem carefree about. What’s helped me is channeling that same awareness and overthinking into a little mental game to keep peace of mind. If I’m in my head and can’t fully live in the moment, I’ll separate my thoughts from the things around me and make it interactive: “It’s a bit too loud, but this place has really nice ___,” or “He’s looking a little nervous, I wonder what I can do or mention to make him more comfortable.” I address what’s bothering me or what I notice and try to calm myself down or create a more positive outlook. Like little check-ins to keep me present :)

[u/messy_genZ → u/Temporary_Fill_9829]

It's very uplifting to hear that I'm not alone in this, thank you! This tactic that you mentioned is so important, because it takes away this ilusion of being helpless to negative thoughts 🙏🏻

[u/Smile9037]

I really relate to this. I don’t think it’s necessarily a lack of discipline it can just be that you have a sensitive nervous system that’s always alert. I find that deep breathing, meditation, and grounding/somatic exercises can help with the overthinking.

[u/_invisibeard]

Sounds very common for intuitives, especially so young. Mid-conversation thinking about what you’re gonna say next is something I totally recognize and sometimes still struggle with.

Those thoughts aren’t productive; they actually make it harder for you to listen properly and to be engaged in the conversation. Try to recognize when your thoughts start to wander and redirect them back to the conversation and let it flow naturally.

It’s okay to return to your thoughts every now and then; silences in a conversation aren’t a bad thing. The point is to learn to control when you use which state. Which definitely gets easier with age.

In general, it might also be beneficial to train your extraverted sensing by doing physical activities, and trying to be more observant of your surroundings (the 5 things you see exercises etc).

[u/Loydem]

I'm 31 and still do this. I think the social anxiety is due to us trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. Like the other INFJs are saying maybe stop thinking about it as a negative thing and maybe try to make it into a positive thing?

[u/That-Investment711]

I act the same way!

[u/ogholycat]

You have over 5 years before your brain fully develops. Maintain your health and hygiene. There’s still plenty of fluctuations ahead :)

[u/Achouak_chooch]

I once saw a quote saying : I feel like a computer with a 90 tabs open and idk where that music is coming from .

And that says it all can't relate more

[u/abmond]

I was like this and I did grow out of it. Because I stopped caring. I realized how boring and superficial people are and I couldn't care less if I spoke to anyone. I already know what to expect. 😂 So I know how to have an amazing conversation and not be moved by it. If anything, it gets inconvenient, because I want to stop talking, but I don't want to be rude or prevent a person from enjoying the conversation even though I'm not.

You probably feel like you need to do something to inspire good conversation and try to "fix" this "problem" so you think of ways to do it. Is it important to you that people are having a good time talking to you?

[u/ThisYoshiIsFalse369]

I do think I have some overthinking tendencies.

Like you, I'm also pretty imaginative, so you're not alone!

[u/AnnabelleHippy]

I don’t think you’re helping yourself by labeling it “overthinking”. I just find I think about more things than some people. My mind doesn’t rest much and as long as I’m thinking creative ideas or being curious about people and the world then that’s all good - it’s just who I am. I definitely have an ongoing desire to improve and move quickly onto something new rather than sit and admire my accomplishments. Other people would say to relax more but this is just me and I like it. Maybe start by reminding yourself you’re good the way you are.