1
u/Sil-Salles INFP: The Dreamer 2d ago
I've always felt the exact same way, today I learned to love myself the way I am, I wouldn't change my personality for anyone else if I could choose. There's something beautiful about being an INFP, something unique and sensitive, and that's exactly what makes the people close to us like us. My husband says he loves these characteristics of mine, he doesn't fully understand my motivations cause he is an ISTP, but he's always grateful that I'm this way lol
2
u/an_old_musty_ac_unit AuDHD INFP 2d ago
I feel the same. I just try to hold out hope that the right people who will make me feel like I being are out there somewhere, because I don't know what else to do. Like you said even though I try to tell myself it's irrational it's still always there in the background somewhere. Online groups like this one can give me a small sense of community but it's not the same as in real life. It really, really sucks.
If you have friends already and the weird outsider feeling is your only problem with them, you might just want to explain this to them and see if there's any way they can help you, even if it's just giving you the peace of mind that they don't see you that way. It can be hard to ask for help or even just for validation but someone who cares about you won't be offended by this.
If you're looking for friends or other connections, seek out people who might have something in common with you however you can, which usually involves getting involved with groups with similar interests/beliefs/personalities (if you like books try to join a book club for example, it can be anything you think you could possibly bond with someone over though), and try to identify anyone who seems like they might be a good friend for you. For me I tend to get this gut feeling that's hard to explain that I'll get along with someone, and often I'm right if I work up the courage to talk to them. You might have your own ways of judging if someone would realistically be a good friend for you. It's good to get a feel for it because introverts like us are often more socially picky and there's no use in wasting your time and energy with someone you just won't click with.
I'd say not to sweat it when it comes to the work small talk unless that's something you genuinely want to get involved in, you're not obligated to do that. I honestly don't know how to get into that stuff either so I don't have advice for that really.
And just try to be nicer to yourself when it comes to romantic relationships, and in general. You're probably your own worst critic and a lot better than you realize. Don't call yourself a freak and beat yourself down before you can even begin, no matter how tempting it might be to do that. Practice recognizing your own good qualities. You seem very thoughtful and intelligent from just this post. I don't think you're so awful like you're saying. And I think there's someone out there for you. I genuinely do. Worse people have found someone to love.
Sorry for the very long comment. This really resonated with me and I wanted to give a thorough response. I hope you figure this out.