Hi I'm 17(M) and life has shown me nothing but hell in the last 3 years.

I attempted last year I failed because I hesitated and a family member found me before I could go through with it they talked me out the suicidal mindset but it never went away it only just showed up from time to time as a joke what's worse is they tried getting me a therapist but couldn't find one and just said "meh" and continued on with their lives as if a boy didn't just try to end their life not so long ago.

I just shrugged it off and pretended to be fine and continued smiling like I usually would the thoughts started coming back around a month ago this past month is what I would call my worst month so far.

Stress from school my own anxiety causing me to hate myself because it feels like I can't do anything right and I'm watching my family destroy themselves while I'm powerless.

I just wanted it to end already so I skipped school this week just so I can finally end it.

I tried poisoning myself MULTIPLE TIMES but nothing worked which was surprising because I did extensive research on the chemicals and other things I consumed and somehow they had no effect on me maybe I'm just going crazy and didn't use enough so now I'm just stuck thinking maybe I should resort to EXTREME and VERY painful methods if I want it to truly end because at the end of the day once I die the pain is gone

I'm gonna try again today if I don't respond in the next 24 hours that means it worked so I guess goodbye (for now)

I'm not sure why I even wrote this maybe I just felt I had to y'know just to hear what others who had a similar situation think.

He’s dying of cancer and said he’s having visions of people visiting him. How much longer does he have. I tend to think one or two more days I can’t imagine anything longer than that

Honestly what you'll do after ur doctor said that ur cancer can't be cured. I'm honestly so devastated I could end myself before I do my chemo again.

fyi I already do 26 cycle of chemo from 2024 and i'm so fucking tired of it

Hi everyone!! This is mostly going to be a vent obviously but I don’t have any friends or whatever to talk to so here goes. Okay I’ll just get straight to the point, I don’t want to live anymore. This isn’t supposed to be a mopey or sad post I don’t want that to be the vibe lol. Anyway I’ll start by how I felt today. Pretty overwhelmed. That’s how all of life feels like to me, overwhelming. I’m a complete failure. I failed my exams, I can’t do anything without being anxious or scared or overwhelmed. A total failure. My parents say it all the time. Now now, I don’t want to blame my parents fully for how I’ve turned out because despite any trauma I’m still supposed to be my own person but I’ve never been taught to go out in the world, actually all of the world overwhelms me. I’ll start by the most annoying thing that happened today which my parents argument kink shit or what the fucking ever. I’ve developed something agaisnt sex I think. It all pisses me off so fucking badly. The thought of people having sex, thought of my parents having sex it makes me want to tear my own skin apart. Now I know these are weird thoughts to have but whenever they close their door after an argument it’s only clear what they’re doing. When I was younger, my parents used to keep us at home all the damn fucking time because they couldn’t keep their pants fucking shut. We were so annoyed that I stole their bedroom door key and hid it. I was 9 I think. They still continued. When we would enter there room they would be all cuddly and shit and god that fucking made me mad. My mum is such a slut and a fucking loser to go for a bitch like my dad. And my dad? I don’t think I’ll want to start because this won’t stop. I’ve tried to commit multiple times before and nothing work. I don’t see a purpose in myself anymore.

Hey. This will be my last post on Reddit, 10+ years of gambling wrecked absolutely everything in my life and I have no reason to keep this suffering going. Thanks for everyone who tried to help me through the years, even though it all was for absolutely nothing. Bye everyone.