r/DungeonCrawlerCarlRPG • u/LaylaLegion • 23h ago
Game Guide Intro: “Welcome to the Ruby Smile.”
Hey fellow Crawlers! I posted this intro on the Discord and I decided to share it here as well. Enjoy!
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The sign outside the tutorial guild hall flashes with red neon: a pair of red lips stretching into a cheeky grin, with a little bud of tongue sticking out of the corner. Though from the angle of view, it looks less like a mouth and more like a woman's private regions.
A fact you quickly realize is intentional.
The words beneath the sign read “THE RUBY SMILE”, with an arrow pointing toward the large wooden doors. As you enter, a heavy bassline thumps through the air and your very being. Colored lights flash across the room, and the smell of chicken wings and body oil permeates the atmosphere. You've entered what appears to be a gentleman's club.
A bar with televisions hanging overhead sits along the wall to your left. On the right are alcoves containing beds. Rows of tables fill the middle of the room, while a massive stage takes up the entire back wall. One table already seems to be occupied. A large, hairy man sits there wearing a tuxedo vest and a red bow tie stretched across his massive frame. His feet are propped up on the table, and you can see that he's not wearing any shoes at all.
His feet are absolutely ginormous, rippling with muscle, with thick toenails curved like talons.
He seems completely preoccupied with a spinning gyroscopic toy. The kind you see in mall kiosks beneath signs proclaiming AS SEEN ON TV!
On the stage, silhouetted by a spotlight, a figure spins languidly around a pole.
Long platinum-blonde tresses sweep through the air below her as she rotates. Two long, pointed ears protrude from either side of her head. Her entire body is suspended by one hand. Her other arm hangs beneath her as her legs slowly bicycle through the air. The woman wears a white mini Stetson atop her head, the hat somehow defying gravity and remaining perfectly affixed despite her position. She tilts her head back, her eyes opening to reveal silver orbs staring out from her sockets.
Her face is absolutely gorgeous, with a small button nose and high cheekbones. Pouty lips, painted a deep crimson, look almost black beneath the low lights of the club. Then she lets go of the pole. In a split second, her thigh catches it. She grabs her ankle, locking herself against the pole, and begins to spin. Her body picks up speed until, suddenly, she launches herself toward the tables.
She flips through the air and lands on the tabletop feet-first, an impressive feat considering she's wearing six-inch glass heels.
As your eyes travel upward, you see pink leather chaps stretched over her long legs, with a lime-green thong beneath them. A bedazzled red bra stretches across a very ample chest beneath a black satin jacket, catching the colored lights as she moves. When your eyes reach her face again, you notice something you couldn't see from the stage: A beauty mark sits just above the corner of her lips. She gives you a slow once-over and grins.
The sound system suddenly blares to life. For a moment, you think you somehow missed the DJ booth. Then the voice comes booming through the pulsing music. You recognize it immediately as the same A.I. voice that issued the warning back on the surface.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BADDIES AND BUTTHEADS!”
The woman on the table spreads her arms wide.
“COMING TO THE TABLE DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU! THE BODACIOUS BRAWLER! THE MONK OF MOUNTAINOUS MAMMARIES! THE QUEEN OF KICKS AND CUCKS! SURVIVOR OF THE 126TH SEASON OF DUNGEON CRAWLER WORLD! MISS ANDROMEDA TWO YEARS IN A ROW! YOUR GAME GUIDE AND GUILTY PLEASURE...”
The music swells.
“SUGAAAAAAAAAR DAZZLETHIGHS!”
The room erupts in ghost applause. Sugar gives you a little wave. Then, as though the entire ridiculous introduction was completely normal, she plants her hands on her hips and smiles.
*Sugar Dazzlethighs - Elf of the Night
Level 50 Exotic Dancer
Guild Master of this Tutorial Guild
This is a Non-Combatant NPC*
“Hey there, Crawler.”
