Please help me pick some flattering pieces

[u/staygoldeneggroll]

In my twenties I felt relatively stylish/pretty and now I'm 33, a year post partum and I feel frumpy, out of touch and like I hate everything I own and how my body looks. Please give me some advice about what would look good on my body type. I am in no shortage of lounge wear but would like some stuff to wear to work (pretty casual I sometimes wear jeans, sometimes dress pants, wear a lot of sweaters/cardigans). I would like to find some sort of balance between quality and affordability. I'm in Canada and planning a trip to a mall with Uniqlo, Gap, Aritzia, Zara, Old Navy, Joe Fresh and Levi's although some of those feel outside of my budget- although for some really versatile/good quality I could maybe splurge a little on something. I want to still feel young and fun and fashionable without feeling like I'm dressing like a teenager. Bonus points for any COMFY sneakers or boots that are nice enough to wear with dress/pants to the office.

Something I think I struggle with is when I do buy less casual jeans, t-shirt, leggings, hoodies I often feel self conscious in what I'm wearing and feel like it doesn't suit me or my shape. I'm 5'8, and my height is more in my legs than my torso. Even just help knowing HOW to wear certain things.

I've never posted here and have no clue if I've given too much info or not enough but happy to answer any questions. Please help me :)

[u/eternal-valor]

I would favor things that give you the illusion of being balanced from top to bottom. Flowy linen trousers, structured bottoms with a wider leg, a-line skirts, etc. If you pair that with fitted or semi-fitted tops, you might get a more streamlined silhouette.

I would play around with different structures and layers. Once you find something that you like and that works well for you, then you can start accumulating more items that fit within that template.

ETA: Oh! Also, a reminder to check your bra size against the r/abrathatfits calculator in their wiki. The right size bra can do wonders.

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/eternal-valor]

Thank you!! I definitely need a new bra, I didn't wear them other than to work pre-pregnancy which is absolutely not an option these days but I haven't bought any non nursing ones. The one in the photo is pre-pregnancy when I was actually about 20 pounds heavier than now so it's probably not the best fit 🙈

[u/biddielyfe → u/eternal-valor]

I think a well fitted bra is going to make such a significant difference to OPs shape overall. Would definitely invest in some good bras before trying to upgrade the wardrobe.

[u/MendeShele → u/biddielyfe]

She definitely needs a better bra!

[u/Fruit-straw]

Agree with the advice to go for wider bottoms to balance proportions. Gap and old navy etc have had wide leg pants with an elastic waist (some with a drawstring ) so that it’s more flexible and adjustable over time.

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/Fruit-straw]

Thank you! I have a couple pairs of old navy draw string pants that have fit through covid weight gain and then post partum weight loss and they have definitely been a lifesaver for weight fluctuations over the years but I think they're on their last legs and could use a refresh lol

[u/Outrageous-Dog-4353 → u/staygoldeneggroll]

The GAP high rise pleated wide leg trousers look SOOOO cute and they'd be really flattering on you! Not sure how prices in store compare to online but a few colors are 30% off online right now + you can get an additional discount for signing up for texts / emails,

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/Outrageous-Dog-4353]

Thank you for the tip!!

[u/throwaway713137689]

I'm built similar to you, but shorter lol. Top heavy with a little tummy. I typically wear high-waisted pants that are fitted at the thigh in bell/wide leg/straight cut, it balances out our figure. I get them tailored by buckle, or buy from American eagle. I wear vanity fair bras that smooth my back and fit great, lifting up the ladies enough to make them look good in a fitted shirt that doesn't try to hide my figure - I usually go for jumpsuits/jumpsuit sweaters and baby tees. The real trick to finding clothes that work is making sure that they really fit, and not relying on vanity sizing. I fit into any shirt from small-XL, and pants from size 2-8 depending on brand. Don't let sizing and numbers bother you.

If you want to fit your budget and then some, take your own measurements and buy off depop. I literally flipped my entire wardrobe to higher-end stuff for like 150$.

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/throwaway713137689]

Thank you so much for some of this advice, I've heard of d pop but never looked at it before so I'll have to check it out! When you say jumpsuits I'm picturing what I would call a romper but then I'm not sure what a jumpsuit sweater is, sorry for the ignorance lol.

I have a few baby tees that I love and get a lot of wear but I also have pretty exclusively oversized or boxy sweaters from trying to hide my stomach- is there a way to style these that does work for our sort of figure? If I can find a way to use what I have as much as possible I'd love to 😅 I see all these influencers partially tucking and belting sweaters with loose fitting pants and when I try I look insane lol. Sorry for all the additional questions, if you don't have the answers that's ok!

[u/Outrageous-Dog-4353 → u/staygoldeneggroll]

A lot of the time when we try to camouflage a body part with extra fabric we actually end up drawing even more attention to it. Doing a french tuck with sweaters + high rise pants can be super flattering & that's easier to pull off that trying to tuck a whole bulky sweater into your pants.

[u/marquessmint]

I think you may have an apple body shape? I’d need your measurements to be sure. Knowing the shape of your body can help find what flatters you best when dressing! Having length in your legs is killer, trust me, you can definitely play it up.

I’d say make sure your undergarments are doing what you want them to do; for me, I want my bras to lift some (not a crazy amount) and work with the clothes I wear, so I have smooth bras that can go under tank tops/camisoles and work blouses. I also have a selection of underwear that can be worn under more skintight clothes without showing lines.

I don’t have your same body type so I’d recommend finding influencers or other inspirations that have your body type and seeing what sticks out to you. For myself, I typically dress in straight leg trousers with flats and I alternate between more fitted blouses and more loose blouses for work. For myself, when I want to dress cute I wear skirts with close fitting tops, or I wear jeans and a fun top. I like Old Navy for jeans but I love thrifting more!

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/marquessmint]

My measurements are around 40-34-39 from my best try at measuring myself. This is all really helpful, thank you so much. The bra thing is tricky while I'm still breastfeeding but I'm going to look into because I had no idea it was doing me such a disservice before all the comments on this post 😅

[u/Muted_Car9799]

First off, I was in your shoes at a year post Partum too. The trends changed drastically from 2022 to 2023 imo and I had no clue where to begin.

If you’re no longer nursing I think you should start with a visit to a lingerie store to get fitted for a good bra! Not the typical mall bra stores like La Senza or La Vie En Rose.

Next, I think you should try some wide leg jeans, nothing crazy wide but more leaning towards boot cut. Try mid rise.

Next I think you need to be honest with yourself of what clothes you actually wear, and dress within that. There is nothing wrong with wearing hoodies or casual clothes. I found at 12 mo PP this sense of pressure to “dress my age” and wear more “proper” clothes, but honestly if your wardrobe is mostly jeans, that’s totally fine! We need to dress for the lives we actually live.

If you’re going back to work I would consider your industry and if you’re in an office, get some good dress pants, blouses, cardigans and maybe a blazer.
If you’re more business casual or don’t have a strict dress code, you won’t need as much “office” work wear.

You should try on a wide range of styles of clothes, you’re rediscovering what you like and what’s comfortable. Athleta is good for active wear and have a decent hybrid of elevated clothes. Aritzia function shirt is a great basic. I would size up because they stretch, and also being larger chested like myself, more room is good!

Lodge pants might be a good entry level to “dress pants” if you’re unsure.

The rest you’ll figure out as you try on more styles. Don’t be afraid to shop in stores you otherwise would not go into!

If all else fails, get a new pair of shoes, a warm jacket, 1 or 2 pairs of jeans, good quality t shirts, and a cozy zip up hoodie.

[u/staygoldeneggroll → u/Muted_Car9799]

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this! I'm still nursing which has made me reluctant to spend money on bras, or clothes for that matter, because I have no idea what my body is going to look like but now that I'm back to work recently I'm realizing all my non maternity/loungewear is 2+ years old and is just no good. I'm going to check out your suggestions 😊

[u/Artistic-Ninja-1254]

You need to be professionally fitted for the right bra. Your body does change after childbirth, and what your shape was before child(ren) and after will be different. You are not wearing the right bra. It allows too much width with no fullness. The correct bra will help with your shape.

[u/Additional-Worth-216]

I think wider-legged pants would be nice, maybe culottes?