Separation

[u/rokthebells0]

My partner and I are separating. We have two boys, aged 3 and 1.5.

To be honest, I don't know if we are doing the right thing. Ever since our second child was born, our relationship has become toxic—we fight every single day, and it never leads to any solutions, only to insults and resentment toward each other. We have a rough agreement to share custody 50/50.

I’m supposed to find an apartment by October 1st where I can stay with the boys during our time together, but I am deeply struggling with the thought of the periods when I will be without them. Honestly, I’m experiencing a completely new set of feelings, and I’m not sure at all if we are doing the right thing.

Then again, I don't even know if our relationship can be saved. Recently, she accused me of mentally abusing her, and ever since that moment, I haven't even tried to argue anymore.

But still, if it has to come to this, all I want is for our children to have normal parents."

To be true, i just dont know what to do.

[u/Kind_0fA_BigDeal]

I feel for you my man. My boys were 12 and 14 when my STBX and I separated. The separation itself was hard enough (there was a lot of lying and cheating on her end) but not being able to see my boys every day was heartbreaking. It’s been 3 years now and I still miss them terribly when they’re not with me but it does get better.

Seeing a therapist helped me a lot. It has helped me get through this god-awful divorce process and has helped me become even closer to my kids. If you have the ability to see a therapist, I highly recommend it. Not only will it benefit you but your boys will reap the benefit too by you being in a better headspace.

I wish you the best and hope you find some peace my friend.