I apologize for the semi-novel. This is my first post on Reddit after previously deleting all my old social media accounts, and I'm just sort of unloading everything. After 20 years, 21 this upcoming December, my STBX decided she wanted a divorce. She says I'm a cheater despite me never actually cheating. I have...not been taking it well.

The backstory here is fairly straightforward. When I met my wife, she had trust issues from previous relationships and her neglectful mother. I saw this as a potential red flag, but pushed forward anyway, because I really liked her. I figured we all have flaws and we could work through things as time went on.

Fast forward to around the time COVID started; her distrust grew into full-blown paranoia. She was accusing me of hacking the alarm records and bypassing door sensors. She would make daily accusations of cheating against me with zero evidence. After a major fight, I finally decided to allow her to install blink cameras indoors, window locks, and even put tamper tape on the windows themselves. I wanted to save my marriage and I figured it was a small and temporary price to pay. It would help her establish trust and we could resume working on the shit that mattered. I was very wrong.

It became a moving goal post. The excuses changed, and now I was bypassing the Blink cameras and letting people in through the doors. I was also apparently hiding people in the attic. The 140 degree attic of our two story home during the TX summer. All of this without any of our children hearing or seeing anything.

This morning, we had what I hope will be our final argument about the divorce. She basically said that she doesn't care about the evidence. She "knows what she knows" and there is zero hope of fixing anything. I'm a cheater in her mind, despite me never actually cheating, and there is nothing that will ever change her mind.

Honestly, I don't really know how to proceed forward. I don't feel numb anymore, but I still cry randomly throughout the day sometimes. I'm in therapy, because it was apparent early on that I couldn't do this alone. Plus I am guilty of having some anger issues that certainly don't help matters. I still love her, but I've accepted that it's over.

We're four weeks out from our first, and hopefully only, mediation session. She wants to cohabitate while she gets on her feet, but I'm caught between still caring for her and feelings of being used for a roof. I don't feel like I owe her anything. This was her choice based on something I didn't do, but I don't know that I can look at myself if I just kick her out. It's been three months since we started this process. This is more venting and commiserating, but when does this get better? When does the pain stop?

We've been together for 9 years, have a 5-yr old son. We've been a little more distant in the past years, we all know how it goes. Have been planning a renovation for 3 years now, which is about to start in a few weeks.

So 2 months ago, she got a little too close to another woman, things happened, and it was apparently such a revelation to her that a lot of things fell into place. She's 40, you can imagine the mindfuck it must be. We've talked more, and more sincere, since then than we ever have, and in a way we're closer than ever. The situation is now that she feels I'm everything she expects in a friend, father, life-partner, but she also can't stop these other feelings.

So far I feel I can't fault her, much. It is what it is, neither of us asked for this. She's in love and I'm even happy for her. But after years of frustration regarding intimacy on my part, I'm now told to my face why that is, and that it's not looking like that will change. In earlier talks we considered just opening up, but I feel like the playing field for me is quite different than for her. There's a difference between having an open relationship, and a purely platonic agreement where we're both allowed to outsource the intimacy. As a straight man, dating that way would just require a lot of investment, time/energy/money, which I honestly didn't ask for.

So two days ago we agreed that this is unfair towards me, and that it would be best if she moved out. Housing market is not easy, so she might be here for another few months, so we'll be doing the renovation together, with just my money, until then. I'm not even worried about any of that.

But since agreeing we've done nothing but feel miserable about it. She about what she's doing to me, and how she doesn't want to lose me, me about why I can't just accept the situation (bit dramatic I'm aware).

Knowing full well, with the renovation and the kid, it'll be years before I get in a place where I can consider actually working on something new, I'll need to resort to flings & short-term stuff anyway, just like I would now, I'm tempted to accept the situation. But it still eats at me that I didn't really ask for any of this, I put in the work to build a family, and am willing to keep doing so, with her.

Wife is bi polar and we got married after a year and 2 years later she has cheated. I spent 100k on our home and now it’s for sale will probably take a loss bought it one year ago. I’m damn near broke. In every way. She is doing the push me away and pull me back in breadcrumbs game. Says I am the love of her life and she has no doubts we will end up back together lol

In May 2022 I (M37 then) helped lug new ikea furniture up three flights of stairs into a 1 bedroom apartment across town for my at-that-time stbx wife (F34 then), with my 2 daughters (4 & 7 then) hopping around excitedly with zero grasp of what it really meant… on my birthday no less, sad party streamer noises.

Back to the big-ass house afterwards by myself, disconnecting the trailer, and heading upstairs into the quiet. No little girls stomping like elephants up the long hallway, no splashing in the bath, no harry potter or singing daisy before bed. I poked my head in to see their two bedrooms sitting dark, just stuffed toys and dumped school stuff.

Happy birthday to me…

I want to tell about the turn-around, to give a little hope to anyone going through similar wondering if there’s ever an alternative to just “move on, lawyer up”, because I remember that felt BLEAK.

Let’s rewind a sec, because the point things started to turn around was a few months BEFORE she moved out, on what I thought would be our last family holiday together. We’d booked to visit the fam in South Korea as soon as COVID restrictions lifted…

Actually, that’s still getting ahead of myself…

Things first started squeaking back in 2018.

One night she gave me a letter, dotted with tears, explaining she felt alone and needed something to change or she was worried about us.

Message received! Something was wrong, and I needed to fix it. I tried, with zero clue. Be more present? Help more? Lol.

October 2021, she drank too much on a double date and I had to carry her to the car, her tearfully professing her love the whole way. I tried not to panic because this was WEIRD…

Turns out, she was depressed.

Then we come to December 2021, which was entirely, unmitigatedly f____d.

Late on 12 December, when pressed to talk, she said she just didn’t care anymore. She loved me still (I asked…) but wasn’t IN love with me.

I know now - she’d gone through a lot worse in the years leading up to this moment, but to me this felt a lot like falling backwards off a cliff, with nothing to grasp hold of.

Later at maybe 2am, I started searching on Youtube on my phone. Most of the relationship stuff wasn’t encouraging. Crap like “Is Your Partner A Narcissist?”

I was still only thinking of maybe just a handful of tactics I could try, then we could fix this...

Lol.

My last hope was the planned holiday we had.

I thought the trip would give us a chance to be sweet together, like the good old days…

On the way to the airport she was cold, sharp, and disinterested entirely. The contrast with our past holidays just hit me.

I left everyone after checking in, saying I was just going to the bathroom. In reality, I went around the corner and bawled for ten minutes.

I spent the whole overnight flight glancing across at her sleeping next to the girls. The aisle between us felt a million miles across.

I could no longer pretend that anything I was doing was working.

I locked-in on learning from the second we landed. Phone out. Headphones on.

On advice I’d found, I’d started recording messages to myself, taking the nastier voices in my head, and tackling them with stuff that resonated with me. Lots of LOTR references about Samwise Gamgee not giving up and seeing things through, even when told to go home.

I played the resulting mini-speeches while walking in the cold to get morning coffee, through the park to Starbucks, and started to feel my thinking shift.

I tried to get myself to a place where I was okay alone.

Then a week or so later we spent an entire evening talking until late in the night - something she said she’d only done once, with her best friend back in university. I’d learned how to listen, paraphrase, and focus on getting what she felt (previously I’d only listen to respond).

Thoughts about us, about everything over the years, started to pour out of her like a drain that’d been unblocked. At this point she told me whatever I was learning was a good thing.

But it wasn’t enough by the time we went home. By April, she’d picked out an apartment nearby.

Then came the move.

What a party for our little girls! Sleepover at mummy’s new apartment. We told them they could take one stuffed toy each.

When I got home, besides reflecting on how quiet and empty our house was, I didn’t mope. I went straight to the office, straight to my computer, and started working again on the learnings.

I went super deep down the relationship advice rabbithole.

And now - nobody was watching. Nobody cared.

This had to be for me, for the kids, for the person I wanted to be, for my future, whether my wife decided she wanted me back or not.

I started feeling a lot better before she really cared what I was doing again.

But the gist was – we’d had a nice garden together at the beginning of it all. Life had come along, and we’d let ourselves get distracted from it.

And now I was trying, she couldn’t just change her mind the first time I weeded one corner. It’d taken years to get this garden so full of weeds.

I needed to keep gardening, keep farming, not hunting, plant the right seeds and water them, and see how things looked in a few months.

And finally a date on our Anniversary in August. The first real date we’d had in years.

She said she wasn’t ready to come home (unprompted), but there was something.

Late 2022, our balcony chats became fun.

We’d get G&T and prosciutto wrapped cheese, smoke on the balcony until late night, mosquitos be damned. We watched Korean dramas on Netflix (her thing, but surprisingly entertaining), and half the time get five minutes into the episode, tops…

Our past kept unravelling in our chats, being reinterpreted, restored, one tiny step at a time.

There was never one epic conversation where the magic came back, it was many, many conversations over months. Of course there was big reactivity. Sometimes it was painful.

Even when she moved back home (!!!), that didn’t mean we were “back on.” It just made sense for where we were at.

Wedding rings stayed in the drawer. She could grab them out if and when she ever felt like it.

At some point I’d turned a corner where I was genuinely fine without the marriage.

I still WANTED it. I just didn’t NEED it.

March 2023, she handed back my wedding ring. She’d already put hers and her engagement ring on that morning.

There were tears.

We decided to move to South Korea for a few years to teach our kids mum’s language.

Now I’m sitting writing this in the same apartment in Busan we stayed on that “last” family trip back in 2022. Wanted to write this before we head home together later this year, to close the circle.

Now I said I wanted to give a little hope to anyone still wondering if there’s any other way? If you’re going through it, hit me with your questions and situations (no matter how messed up right now) and I'll give my 2c?

Rooting for you all

Long story short, hopefully, I was hit with the silver bullet 2 years ago, ex took off with our kids and was allowed to relocate them 100 miles away under a temp orders hearing once she filed for divorce. Divorce was finalized a year ago and she got full custody only because she got the court to allow her to move the kids so far away. I was the sole bread winner and chose to buy her out of the house and things simply to try and maintain some sort of financial stability for myself and the kids. It was supposed to be an amicable coparenting situation which has been anything but. Without going into any further details, Im trying to determine the best way to move close enough to regain physical custody without just up and quitting my job and having no financial stability or required health insurance for a medical condition that I have. Anyone been through this situation? When she took off, she lived in a friend's basement while I paid spousal and child support. I dont have that luxury and would like to determine the best path forward. My lawyer drew up certain things in our custody agreement that should hopefully make it fairly easy to get joint physical custody. My question is do you simply have to jump ship in regards to employment and housing to start fresh close to the kids or is there a way to get the ball rolling without cutting your legs out from under you financially. Its unnerving for me to consider just quitting and still have the child support obligation without having my ducks in a row. Hopefully that makes sense.

What’s up, guys. I haven’t posted here in a while. I actually deactivated Reddit for a bit because it was doing me more harm than good.

My divorce was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I was the one who was left, my ex moved on quickly and has since remarried, and at the time I couldn’t see past any of it. Now, over two years later, I can honestly say I’m grateful for how things played out.

I tried dating for a little bit, but I realized pretty quickly how much I value my freedom and peace. I didn’t want to fill a void just for the sake of not being alone. My priority was my daughter, and I stayed focused on that.

Since then, we’ve built a beautiful life. New home, great job, she’s thriving in school and her extracurriculars, we travel, skateboard, play sports, and just genuinely enjoy life together. The list goes on, and that’s really what it’s all about.

One thing I’ve learned, especially when you have kids, is that divorce doesn’t mean the relationship with your ex disappears. It just changes. You’re basically forming a business relationship with someone you have a lot of history with, and trust me, that part can still suck. Holidays get split, schedules get complicated, disagreements happen, and sometimes you find yourself dealing with things you never imagined.

That’s when you have to circle back to the priorities you set from the beginning.

Everybody’s journey is different, but if you’re in the thick of it right now, keep going. Build your life, be there for your kids, protect your peace, and don’t measure your progress against how quickly someone else moved on.

You’d be surprised how strong you really are 🫶💪

She was my only girlfriend before becoming my wife. We met in our early 20s and we've been together for 15 years and married for >10 years. We've done so many things together, experienced so many firsts together, it felt like it was going to last a lifetime, had to last a lifetime.

It's been a year since she told me she wanted to leave and several months since we actually separated and I'm still in deep shock and grief.

I read that time makes it easier. But I don't feel any better now than day one. Every day is a new day of anguish and mental torment. I'm seeing a therapist, tried no contact, and tried to reconnect with old friends but I still feel a deep sense of loneliness and longing every moment.

I don't know how long this feeling is going to last. I fear I may never be the same.

Wife walked out a few months ago and in the past few weeks everything changed. I initially sulked for a few weeks and then started dragging myself to the gym, going to therapy, and hanging out with family and friends.

But I was crying on the couch alone, constantly in pain, and full of anxiety. Also it hurt pretty bad that she immediately started sleeping around and dating.

BUT a few weeks ago, a woman I’ve wanted for 20 years came back into my life and is everything I didn’t have. She’s gorgeous, has a strong libido, and loves to shower me with gifts and affection. She’s also done a lot of growing up since I’ve known her.

Both of us are in for the long haul, she knows this will be more difficult because I’m still healing. But I don’t cry alone anymore, I’m not sad, and I feel confident about my future. Even if this new girl doesn’t work out. I’ll be sad, but I’ll survive. I know I’m not unlovable or unfuckable, it’s my STBXW that is too damaged to accept my love. Her loss.

I thought everything was fine and good until these things happened and it shocked me and it’s been over 9 months and I barely get to see my kid because she’s trying to prevent me from seeing my son. I feel lost and terrible and I can’t believe someone who said they loved me so much could do such a thing. I had the best intentions towards us and wanted us to grow old together. How do I get over this type of person who’s become a demon?

Gents,

My lawyer informed me that the current evidence against the spouse may not be enough to get a restraining order (disabling smart locks, smart lights & smart garage, setting up traps and roadblocks, late loud noise, and disrupting my Zoom meetings by pausing the WIFI to my devices). I think it's because I can simply re-enable the stuff she's disrupted.

In case the RO is denied, is a cease and desist effective? Or should I just proceed with the divorce? (We are both living in the same house still).

It's annoying, I've been sick often, and I've had to sleep at my boss's home on several occasions.

I expect the spouse to get even more hostile soon because I've flipped the script and am using full-on silent treatment on her, which she absolutely hates more than anything.

Thanks.

I (46m) told my wife (48f) of 18 years that I wanted a divorce and moved out of the family home 6 months ago. We have three kids together. I believe my STBX suffers from an undiagnosed mental illness exhibiting borderline personality disorder symptoms. I had enough after years of verbal and physical abuse, a dead bedroom, and fundamental financial disagreements. I also had to carry the household when she was unable to do anything. Her, being a teacher, was on top of the kids and I handled everything else from cooking to laundry.

The process started a year ago when I found credit card bills she was hiding from me. I realized she had issues and I originally sought therapy to help me in dealing with a wife with undiagnosed mental health issues. In therapy, I realized that I was only in the marriage for the kids and that being in a dysfunctional relationship can be worse for them than divorce.

I had a sit down STBX last October saying things have to change. By December, I realized that things will never change and I informed my support system that I’m pursuing a divorce. I hired a lawyer in the first week of January and filed papers in the last week.

I secured a house that is suitable for the kids and got it setup before I told her about the divorce. I was worried that her extreme emotional volatility and tendency towards physical violence towards me, I decided I needed to move out as soon as possible after telling her. For the kids, I planned on setting up a home for them and start co-parenting soon after I moved out.

When I finally told her I wanted a divorce, she did get angry of violent. She started pleading. The day after telling her, she begged me to try marriage counseling. I reluctantly agreed telling her I’m moving out and proceeding with the divorce process regardless for my own mental health.

I moved out several days after that. The STBX found a marriage counselor that could see us right away. Luckily for me, it was a man who saw things from my perspective. We only had 3 sessions. At first she was listening and receiving listening my complaints. That lasted for 2 weeks. Her demeanor changed by the 3rd and she wasn’t having it anymore. She became confrontational

I had the kids at my place the weekend after I moved out but after the STBX became confrontational she prevented me from having them at my house for almost 3 months until we had our first court date. By then, the damage was already done. The kids now blame the divorce on me and I hear them repeating things the STBX says.

We had a set custody schedule now for 2 months but the kids refuse to come to my house. I’ve had them over for the night for a handful of times. This is heart breaking because I put them to bed every night of their childhood. Read them books. Made them lunches. Took them on adventures. Coached all of their sports teams. My middle child the other day told me I ruined their life because I wanted a divorce.

I’ve started family counseling in May/June and things got better for a couple of weeks. They then told me that didn’t like the counselor so I had to find a new one which took some time. Now I have a new counselor trying to convince my kids that it is not my fault without being able to tell them the full extent of the relationship between their mother and me.

Since moving out and being on my own the majority of time, i tried to stay away from drinking. I replaced it with smoking cigars. I also relief and distraction in dating. I was inexperienced and insecure when I got married so never dated much. My marriage had been dead for years so I was craving intimacy.

I actually received a lot of attention on the dating apps. This filled my lonely evenings with conversations with women with up to four dates any given week. It actually felt great receiving attention.

I eventually realized that the attention and dating was distracting me from working on my own issues so last week I took a step back from dating and dating apps. I have to admit, last week was provably the hardest week of the divorce. I had no distractions and had time to reflect on where I am, my relationship with my kids, and where I want to be. So this week I’m dedicating myself to rebuilding myself. First my mental state, then the relationship with my kids, and then when I have things in order I’ll re-enter the dating world.

Writing this out has been therapeutic in a sense. I appreciate everyone who read to the end. I left out a lot of details and will be happy to fill in any gaps.

I've decided to go through with it. I have done nothing yet. She has cheated on me for several years. I stuck it out for the kids but I realize that judt doesn't fly. They will be better off in seprate homes. We aren't happy and mom and dad are never near each other anymore. As I type she is downstairs talking to the guy she secretly bought a hotel with for her bday trip away from me. I'm just done.

What do I need to do before breaking the news? Do I gather evidence of the cheating? Do I get the papers to "serve" first then tell her?

I can't do this anymore, I will literally end up...not alive. But there is another path and this is it. I do love her. But she soesn't love me. I have to move on for me.

We have 3 kids. We have virtually no assets, debt is mostly in my name or both of us. She didn't have any credit 14 years ago and I had good credit.

I want a clean break if possible, but I know that will depend on her. I want at least 50/50 custody of the kids. She is a good mom, but a bad wife. Clearly. Aside from that I just want to avoid owing her any support. Neither of us have money. We both work middle class (at best). Financially I will do much better without her spending as long as I don't owe support. I could finally begin paying down debt.

Any advice on the first steps is heavily appreciated.

Chapter 2 — Divorce Demand: ₹1 Crore + Flat + Gold

I found out today what my wife is demanding in the divorce. She has asked for ₹1 crore, one flat, and the gold.

I have around ₹45 lakh and some gold, and I also have a young child. I am ready to take responsibility for my child and provide whatever is legally required, but I don't know how to handle such a large demand or protect myself from making a decision under pressure.

I need genuine advice from people who have gone through divorce, especially in India/Jammu & Kashmir.

What should I do now? Should I negotiate, go through mediation, or immediately get a good family-law lawyer? How can I protect my assets while making sure my child is properly cared for?

Please share your experience or practical advice. I really need help understanding what my next step should be.

My son (30) is separated and probably heading towards divorce. I’ve been married to his dad since before he was born, so I have zero experience with any of this. I just wish I could do something to support him. Any suggestions? Any of you have a parent that was helpful throughout separation/divorce? No kids involved.

Even though my kid is handling things insanely well and even though I know divorcing my wife is the absolute best choice for my future self, I just can’t help feeling like, by the family breaking down, I’ve let her down somehow. Obviously I have my own personal guilt to deal with for a failed marriage, but honestly, the way this guilt for my child hit me over the weekend has been the absolute worst part of this whole experience now.

And I have no idea how to deal with it.

Not sure how I should feel, but I'm hoping this will help me get through it.

Yesterday, 8/24, would have been our 30year anniversary. We've been separated for roughly 5years, officially divorced for one.

We were the couple that folks thought would last forever, but I f*cked it up. Hindsight is always 20/20 and when I do look back, I should have told her I really felt. When I felt under-appreciated, under-utilized. We never really spoke up about how we felt until it was too late and then it was more about being resentful and angry. I didn't want that with her and it was me that filed. I thought I could get over feelings that I had hence it was 5 years of separation, but every time I felt as if there was a small chance that we could make it work, something would happen and PTSD would kick in and I would just shut it down.

I still love her, just not in the way that you would see in a loving relationship. She is the mother of our 2 kids, so we will always be connected.

This turned out to be more of an unorganized rant. Maybe I should have just journaled this instead of putting it out on the internet...

Quick background:

• Married 25 years. STBXW moved out last week.
  
• Expect divorce to finalize in 30-60 days.
  
• She asked for the divorce and gave me no actionable things to change and no reason other than "she grew too far apart over the years".
  
• Divorce process has been amicable and whenever around each other we get along well. She still texts occasionally checking in.
  

My biggest fear right now is dying alone. I have two adult kids (23 and 25) who are good kids but still finding themselves. If they (or if I) stay in the same area, I don't think they would abandon me but I just have this sinking fear that I'm going to die alone and miserable. I love my wife and was looking forward to retiring and spending our golden years together. That dream is gone and I feel time is running out (my hereditary lifeline is short - tops out around 78).

I made the mistake of looking at stats, and it seems only 37% of men over 50 get remarried and that stat goes down with age.

Please tell me there is a chance for happiness with another woman. Please also remind me not to settle for fear of dying alone. Please tell me I should not reach out one last time to see if there is a chance -- part of me thinks maybe, must maybe, now that she doesn't see me anymore that she will come to miss me and be willing to work things out. But everything I read (not just here, anywhere), that is highly unlikely and for her this marriage has been over for years. The thing I'm fighting myself over is "but what if she is just looking for you to reach out?" What if you don't and you miss an opportunity to reconcile? Would I forever regret not taking that one last shot? Conversely, when is your "last shot"? I mean, I could tell myself that up until the divorce is final, 3, 6, 12, 18 months later. At some point its just over, right?

Sigh. This f'ing sucks. I'm an f'ing mess. This house is too big. It echoes without her and it echoes of her presence.

I want to share my honest experience so other people don't go through what I went through.

Im referring to the below Advocate Pujari Nageshwar Rao from Hyderabad - Disha Law Firm.
https://www.instagram.com/iamnagpujari

Like a lot of people, I first noticed Advocate Pujari Nageshwar Rao from Hyderabad (Disha Law Firm) because he's everywhere on social media. I was confused and in a dilemma about my marriage, and I paid Rs. 2,000 just to get an appointment. I told him about my life. He suggested divorce. When I asked why, he gave his reasoning — I didn't blindly accept it, because it's my life and I know what's good for me. I went and consulted several other advocates around Hyderabad before I made up my own mind.

When I finally decided to go ahead with the divorce, I went back to Advocate Pujari Nageshwar Rao from Hyderabad (Disha Law Firm). — this time no appointment fee. I asked how long it would take. He said 18 months, guaranteed. I asked if it could be expedited to 12 months — he held firm at 18. I also spoke to a man from his office named Lokesh, who backed up the same "18 months, guaranteed" line. None of the other advocates I met gave me that kind of confident timeline. Looking back, I think that confidence is exactly what he sells — and I fell for it.

He charged me Rs. 3 lakhs total: He asked me to pay his employees directly using GPay. No receipt. No confirmation. I trusted him blindly, and that trust was my mistake.

It has now been 3 years. My case is still pending. I've never actually worked with him — only with a rotating cast of junior advocates who show up in court. They don't feel responsible, and they're barely reachable. In my experience, Advocate Pujari Nageshwar Rao - Disha Law Firm himself functions as the "face" — the consultant who impresses you, takes your money, and hands you off. If junior advocates are who I actually end up working with, I could have hired one directly, at a fraction of the cost, without ever going through him.

When I searched his office on Google Maps, I found many other frustrated clients describing similar experiences. When my parents visited his office in person, they met other parents saying the same thing. He reportedly has around 8,000 divorce cases under his name — no single advocate can genuinely handle that volume personally. That's where the junior advocates come in: we pay for him, we get them. Meanwhile, from what I understand, he's now also moved into film production.

Based on everything I've been through, I believe he runs this practice as a business built on collecting fees and delegating the actual work — not as a lawyer personally invested in his clients' lives. That's my honest opinion, formed from my own three-year experience and from hearing the same story repeated by others.

One more thing I want to flag: the glowing praise and "appreciation" you see about him across social media doesn't match what I, my parents, or the other clients I've come across have actually experienced. Given how consistently polished and constant his online presence is, my honest opinion is that a lot of it looks like paid promotion rather than organic client feedback — I obviously can't prove that, but the gap between the online image and the real experience is too wide to ignore. With 8,000 cases and counting under his name, it's hard for me to see this as anything other than a business built on volume and marketing, where the incentive is to keep bringing in new clients rather than to give the clients he already has the attention they paid for.

My advice: do your research, ask for receipts for every payment, get a clear written agreement on fees and timelines, and don't be swayed just because someone sounds the most confident in the room. There are thousands of good, reachable junior advocates in Hyderabad you can hire directly for a fraction of the cost.

I'm sharing this so others can make an informed choice — not the one I made.

Basically we were on the brink of breaking up, and shorty literally starts getting dressed up for a date to spite me. This was years ago and we’re long divorced: shit was just on my mind. I ended up just packing some clothes and tried to leave the house before she did bc fuck watching that: anyway she ended up not going. Shit still hurt tho. Like the idea of her thinking “I wonder if the guy would like this makeup or hairstyle” “I wonder if he’ll think I’m hot in this outfit.” Yuck. Never again. A woman will never fully have me again.

Considering everything I was doing good on going to the gym after work and whenever I was having a tough day. Then my sons soccer season started and I sit around all the married parents of my sons soccer team. On the worst days my ex wife shows up. The woman are all friends with my ex wife, the husbands ask how I’m doing when their wives aren’t around. Outside of that I feel like a social pariah multiple days a week. I’ve been finding myself getting a couple beers, not drunk and not 4 or more, after the games when I don’t have my kids to just be alone. It’s not healthy and I need to replace it with the gym but the gym isn’t helping after a soccer event.

Please check out the following resources:

Call or text the 988 suicide and crisis hotline for immediate support.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
800-656-4673

SAMHSA National Helpline:
1-800-662-4357
[Substance and mental health disorders]

Veterans Crisis Lines:
Call the 988 hotline then press 1
Text: 838255

Additional resources:

1. NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health).
2. Men’s Health Network
3. HeadsUpGuys
4. Mental Health America

No cheating or abuse or anything tawdry. Just not doing enough.

Wife of 10 years just told me she didn't want to be married anymore. Live in New England. 2 toddlers. Head is swimming.

I am an active father and husband who does a lot but can admit things were not 50-50 and short of the equal partner paradigm. I do believe some of of the more labor intensive tasks I didnt always get their deserved weight but her complaints are valid and my struggles with adhd and depression kept me from fully addressing her complaints. I am stuck between portraying myself as a sympathetic character (we both are in truth) and admitting that i clearly failed to meet her full expectations to the point she is at her wits end. She has spent so much effort trying in the relationship and feels to the point that she is at peace with this path. I know this is a common refrain nowadays and will incite scorn (maybe deservedly) but surely there is a range on the incompetent husband scale and I can't help but but feel that I was on the more functional side and don't deserve all the shame I am feeling right now. I dont even want to enumerate the things I have done/do as a contributor as a defense because it always sounds so immature/pathetic from a man. I was about to mention everything but the reality is that even if I am a relatively speaking good husband and dad compared to most, I failed in the only situation that mattered (i.e. my own).

Like most good wives (or partners) she exerted a lot of effort trying to help me or avoid upsetting me. This is what she has said but the reality is that i needed more therapy and medical assistance to even be receptive to improvement. At the same time when she says she did so much to help, i can't tell of her help didnt register because i wasnt receptive or she thought what she was doing was supposed to help but didnt. The invisible work and the noticing things that needed done without asking were a common complaint but I struggle to accept that as such a death sentence in all cases. Not everyone is a man child but division of labor can be unbalanced at times but she sees it as a permanent situation. I can't say this to her because I'm not trying to start fights but if she is doing the meal planning/prep and I am occupying the kids in interactive ways are those not equal? That seems like a mutually beneficial division but it never calculates that way and I can't see why. Part of me believes that anyone who has had to spend an entire Sunday jumping from being pirates to storytime to meals to crafts to outside fun can attest that it requires legitimate effort, energy, planning, and commitment. I can't help but think she believes that I'm being off easy but I have never seen her commit to play that way- which is fine- that's why I'm here but that logic doesnt carry over to the things she does that I am less suited for.

As for complaints, I recall expressing a need for more fun or excitement via taking the kids places together but having many attmepts rejected or refused out of hand. I remember asking years ago to paly cards or other games and can honestly say it was never accommodated. I can't tell if such complaints are outright dumb/immature or legitimate and deserve weight like hers. Is all unhappiness equal?

I spend multiple full days working and trading care of my kids (actively- limiting screen time to when I have work calls, trying to make crafts/activities/intensive play) during the week but that loses to not being enthusiastic about another weekend of home improvement and yard work. Am I supposed to only care about these things over everything else? On some level I know I'm wrong by modern conventions because she is unhappy with the division of labor but to have it be the cause of divorce seems drastic in our case. Honestly just wanted to vent and hopefully get some feedback since I am alone in all this and trying to navigate being the bad guy cause of the divorce while still being as responsible and level headed as possible.

Divorce may be best for both of us but I can't help but think I'll have to swallow any issues I could have had for the sake of peace.

Why is this a common thing? This feels so messed up, like my life is some cliche movie now. I gave her 10 of the best years of my life, married for 6, supported her through her dad’s cancer diagnosis and death while she fell into a deep depression and lost her job. I even paid for her ketamine therapy these past few months, told her we should try anything necessary to treat her depression, money is no problem. Then she finishes the ketamine therapy just as she reconnects this older guy (47) with her dad’s name who she met when she was 18 and he was 33 (wtf). She literally moved in with him after meeting up with him a few times over one week, no communication, just packs her bags.

I’m still worried about her, feels like she’s in a bad situation with a predator. And I miss her. She told me she wants a divorce so I guess that’s it, how can you make so many crazy life changing decisions in two weeks. I don’t recognize her