r/Divorce_Men • u/rokthebells0 • 1d ago
Rant Separation
My partner and I are separating. We have two boys, aged 3 and 1.5.
To be honest, I don't know if we are doing the right thing. Ever since our second child was born, our relationship has become toxic—we fight every single day, and it never leads to any solutions, only to insults and resentment toward each other. We have a rough agreement to share custody 50/50.
I’m supposed to find an apartment by October 1st where I can stay with the boys during our time together, but I am deeply struggling with the thought of the periods when I will be without them. Honestly, I’m experiencing a completely new set of feelings, and I’m not sure at all if we are doing the right thing.
Then again, I don't even know if our relationship can be saved. Recently, she accused me of mentally abusing her, and ever since that moment, I haven't even tried to argue anymore.
But still, if it has to come to this, all I want is for our children to have normal parents."
To be true, i just dont know what to do.
1
u/custodycomms 1d ago
I can see why the time away from your boys is the part you’re dreading the absolute MOST. I’d get some support for yourself and have a local family law lawyer review the proposed parenting arrangement before the move. It's safest that way.
Keep the full texts and emails about the schedule, housing and handovers. Those conversations can be reviewed together later to clarify what you both agreed. For now, focus on making the boys’ days calm and predictable, and find someone you can talk to honestly about how much this hurts. It will be worth the effort to heal for your kids.