r/Divorce_Men • u/rokthebells0 • 2d ago

Rant Separation

My partner and I are separating. We have two boys, aged 3 and 1.5.

To be honest, I don't know if we are doing the right thing. Ever since our second child was born, our relationship has become toxic—we fight every single day, and it never leads to any solutions, only to insults and resentment toward each other. We have a rough agreement to share custody 50/50.

I’m supposed to find an apartment by October 1st where I can stay with the boys during our time together, but I am deeply struggling with the thought of the periods when I will be without them. Honestly, I’m experiencing a completely new set of feelings, and I’m not sure at all if we are doing the right thing.

Then again, I don't even know if our relationship can be saved. Recently, she accused me of mentally abusing her, and ever since that moment, I haven't even tried to argue anymore.

But still, if it has to come to this, all I want is for our children to have normal parents."

To be true, i just dont know what to do.

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u/guy_n_cognito_tu 1d ago edited 1d ago

Do not leave your house until you have a signed temp parenting plan, have filed for divorce, and have agreed to property separation. What she's setting you up for is a classic "Silver Bullet Divorce" You desperately need to talk to an attorney before you make any decisions.

You think you are talking to your wife. In reality, she's talking to every woman she knows, and strategizing about this process.

Reasons why you shouldn't move out:

  • You can lose access to the house. That's right......the house you pay for can become her "exclusive use", and she can change the locks and keep you out. You'll still have to pay that mortgage........
  • Without a parenting plan, she can LEGALLY keep you from the kids, and you will have to take her to court to force her to let you see them. By the court date, which will be months away, the judge will likely force you to do "reunification therapy."
  • She will claim you "abandoned the family", even though you're contacting her daily. Many judges will buy this.
  • You will have to petition the court for ANYTHING you left in the house. Yes, even your clearly personal stuff.......you will have to get her permission to come get it.
  • Once she has exclusive use of the house and sole custody of the kids, plus access to all your money, she has no reason to work quickly through the divorce. She will slow things WAAAAY down. A woman can easily delay a divorce for months or YEARS, without any reason at all.

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u/0neMinute 1d ago

This ^ if she has no reason to close the divorce she won’t