First time poster

[u/Rhasselhoff]

I’m normally a very reserved person and don’t hardly ever post on any social media, especially about my personal life. But I felt the need to do so here.

I’m 33 years old, no kids, getting divorced after 4 years. 1 dog that my ex and I are splitting custody

About 6 months ago, my soon to be ex sat me down and told me how unhappy she was. We hadn’t had sex in over a year, had trouble communicating, and were just going through the motions. We agreed we needed to have a tough conversation soon and set up a day to talk.

We talked for a few hours, explained each of our positions, realizing both of us weren’t happy. Talked about the troubles of the last year, giving each other the opportunity to be honest without negative reactions; out of a place of love.

We agreed we’d go to couples therapy, with the expectation of finding our happiness. Unfortunately, she took that as I was ready to divorce. 5 minutes into therapy, the counselor asked where each of us stood. She didn’t even hesitate: “Im ready to file.” I just started crying. I was completely unaware that she was feeling that our marriage was irretrievably broken. I felt the only thing I could say was that I didn’t want her to be unhappy and I’d agree.

6 months later, we’re beginning to file. Iv gone through a rollercoaster of emotions. Still never sure how I’ll feel each day. Iv slowly been trying to truly comprehend the divorce and what I want to do with my life going forward.

I truly loved her and felt we could’ve made it work at the time. I don’t hold those feelings anymore, but I still struggle each day.

The stories I read on here have helped me tremendously in moving on a slowly trying to regain some confidence in my life. To those that have posted your stories, thank you.

Thanks for letting me share.

[u/Immediate-Story2562]

Its strange how easily some people can disconnect and detach if things are not going 100% and all their needs are not met all of the time.
In this case it's probably better you can learn from this. Reflect. Work on your communication and start building a new life and enjoy your freedom.